英語四級(jí)寫作范文及評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)

PAGEPAGE3\o"英語四級(jí)寫作范文賞析"英語四級(jí)寫作范文賞析一篇四級(jí)的圖畫作文，對(duì)照下自己的作文屬于哪一類？按照總分15分的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。作文題目：

Directions:Forthispart,youareallowed30minutestowriteanessay.Youshouldstartyouressaywithabriefdescriptionofthepictureandthenexpressyourviewsonwaterpollution.Youshouldwriteatleast120wordsbutnomorethan180words.

范文一（差）：

Inthispictureitshowusabouttwofishesdialogue.Wecanknowthewaterwasnotsofreshbecausethefishescan'tliveintheremorethanthreedays.Fromthisshortdialogueinpictureweneedthough,whyfishwanttotoldotherfishescan'tusethewater.Itwasobviouslythatthewaterwasbeenpolluted.Nowadays,withthecountrydevelop,lotsoffactoryinordertogetmuchmoneyandmoreconvenient,thenputthewaterthatwaspollutedintotheriver.Wateristhesourceoffulllife.Weneedcleanwater,sodoanimals.Whywesoselfishtomakelittlemoneythenmakethewaterdirty.Italsoharmfulforus.Weshouldtelleveryoneprotectanimalsisalsomeansprotectus.

評(píng)分：4分

評(píng)語：基本切題，連貫性差，大部分句子都有錯(cuò)誤，有較多的嚴(yán)重語言錯(cuò)誤，如第一句it是第三人稱單數(shù)，后面的動(dòng)詞show應(yīng)該是shows，且用法是showsb.sth.，about不需要；第二段的兩句話都存在語法錯(cuò)誤，wanttotold，wasbeenpolluted等；一些句子缺少謂語，如Italsoharmfulforus。

范文二（中等）：

waterpollution

Asisvividlyshowedinthepicture,afishtoldtoanotherfishthewaterofseacan'tbeusedforthreedaysandhopeeachfishknowsthatthentoleavethere.Theimpliedmeaningofthepictureshouldbetakenintoaccountseriously.Thenthereasonisthatthehumanpollutethewaterandatlastfisheshavenoplacetolive.

Inmyopinion,weneedtakesomemeasurestoreducewaterpollution.Tobeginwiththat,weknowsomefactoriessewageintheriverinordertosavingmoremoney.Sothegovernmentshouldmakethelawtoimposerestrictionsonthefactories'dischargecapacity.Secondly,weshouldhaveaawardofprotectingthewater.Inourdailylife,weshouldusethedetergentwithoutphosphorusandsoon.

Thesocialproblemhasarisenthegreatconcerninourwholeworld.Wemustpaymoreattentionthisproblemsafterdays.Atlast,Ihopeeveryonecanprotectourwatereveryday.Becausewaterismostimportantforhuman.

評(píng)分：9分

評(píng)語：切題，表達(dá)思路清楚，文字連貫，但有好幾處語法錯(cuò)誤和表達(dá)不規(guī)范，如首句中show的過去分詞形式是shown；第二段award前的不定冠詞應(yīng)該是an而不是a，inordertodosth.to接的應(yīng)該是動(dòng)詞原形save；第三段payattentionto是固定用法，這里漏了to，而且this后面接的名詞應(yīng)該是單數(shù)的，afterdays放在這不合適，整句話可以換成Wemustpaymoreattentiontothisproblemfromnowon。

范文三（優(yōu)）：

優(yōu)秀范文：Waterpollution

Ascanbeclearlyseenfromthecartoon,onefishsay"donotusethewaterforthreedays,telltheothers".Thispicturetellsusvividlythatthewaterpollutionisveryserious.

Whathascausedthisproblem?Itseemstomethatthereareseveralreasonsasfollows.Firstofall,someonethrowtherubbishtotheriver.What'smore,manyfactorieswerebuilt,whichcausedalargenumberofindustrialpollution.Lastbutnottheleast,themajorcitizensdon'trealizetheseriousnessofthephenomenon.

Inviewoftheseriousnessofthephenomenon,effictivemeasuresshouldbetaken.Ononhand,itishightimethatpeoplealloverChinarealizedtheseriousnessofthephenomenon.Ontheotherhandthegovernmentshouldissuelawsandregulationstoputthesituationundercontrol.Onlyinthosewaycansuccessfullysolvetheproblem.評(píng)分：13分

評(píng)語：切題，表達(dá)思路清楚，文字通順，連貫性較好，僅有個(gè)別語言錯(cuò)誤。

經(jīng)典的三段論，圍繞題干的主題展開。首段從描述圖片信息出發(fā)引出本文中心thewaterpollution，第二段首句點(diǎn)出本段大意，闡釋造成水污染的原因，運(yùn)用連接詞Firstofall，What'smore和Lastbutnottheleast來引出三點(diǎn)論據(jù)具體說明原因。第三段提出可采取的措施，也是運(yùn)用連接詞ononehand，ontheotherhand引出兩點(diǎn)措施，中間能運(yùn)用一些豐富的短語和句式增加邏輯性。

建議：注意一些單詞的拼寫，effictive應(yīng)該是effective，Ononhand應(yīng)該是ononehan