工作與生活之間無法平衡？那么合二為一吧

1、工作與生活之間無法平衡？那么合二為一吧星空之謎 譯不要再試圖尋找那個(gè)能讓需求與回報(bào)絕對對等的平衡點(diǎn)了，工作與家庭之間根本無法平衡。按照下面的方法將二者整合到一起吧，掌控多一點(diǎn)，生活也更美好。一天晚上我從家附近一個(gè)小機(jī)場的停車場里開車出來。當(dāng)我把停車卡遞給收費(fèi)亭里的那位女士時(shí)，后面沒有其他車輛在等候，所以我問她呆在這么小的亭子里有沒有過被困住的感覺。她說：“從沒有過。我是個(gè)作家，有航班降落時(shí)才會(huì)忙一點(diǎn)。其他時(shí)間我都在寫小說。”她的小說？她告訴我她正在寫一本小說，里面的人物便是根據(jù)她在停車場遇到的各色人物所創(chuàng)作的。自然，她旁邊的小柜子上就放著一臺(tái)筆記本電腦。這個(gè)小插曲讓我一直念念不忘，原因有幾個(gè)。

2、首先，我希望她的角色里沒有一個(gè)一臉倦容，開著破舊福特越野車的中年男人。其次，她的情況讓我想到我們在創(chuàng)新領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力中心一起開發(fā)的一種自我評估工具，這種工具可以幫助人們處理在工作生活整合過程中遇到的問題。（我的上一篇專欄講了為什么我認(rèn)為在工作與生活之間尋找平衡是扯淡。）我們的目標(biāo)是讓管理人員以及領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者不再糾結(jié)于尋找那個(gè)能讓需求與回報(bào)絕對對等的平衡點(diǎn)，那個(gè)工作與家庭之間并不存在的平衡點(diǎn)。相反，我們要讓他們了解：要獲得滿足感，準(zhǔn)確評估自身秉性、自我認(rèn)同感以及對工作和家庭生活的掌控程度才是關(guān)鍵之所在。平衡不是目標(biāo)，整合才是。收費(fèi)亭里的那位女士我后來得知名叫凱特，我們可以借助她來簡述一下這個(gè)概念。了解自己的行

3、為研究表明能讓家庭在多大程度上影響工作，或者反過來（“家庭”這個(gè)詞這里既包括傳統(tǒng)意義上的家庭也包括朋友）是整合過程中的關(guān)鍵問題。你是哪種的情況？你常常把私事和工作混在一起么？如果是，你很可能便是混合型（混合型有兩種工作為先型允許工作影響家庭，家庭為先型允許家庭影響工作。）也許你更像分離型，你習(xí)慣于在固定的時(shí)間里分開處理這些事情。如果你的工作具有周期性，你會(huì)集中處理家庭事務(wù)或者集中處理工作，往返于二者之間卻總會(huì)留些間隔有意將二者分開。（想想年末的稅務(wù)會(huì)計(jì)師）。找出最適合自己秉性的行為方式，以此制定策略，這是進(jìn)行整合的第一步。還要明白的是：這些行為類型并沒有優(yōu)劣之分，所以重要的是確定哪種類型與你最

4、相符，而不是哪種類型你認(rèn)為自己應(yīng)該是。來看凱特的情況。她告訴我她工作的時(shí)候不聊電話。所以她的家人和朋友在她上班時(shí)不會(huì)打電話給她。她喜歡在機(jī)場工作的一個(gè)原因（除了能給她提供小說人物素材）便是她從不需要晚上把工作帶回家。至少乍看之下，她是典型的分離型。認(rèn)識(shí)自己的身份我們?nèi)绾慰创约?，在工作生活角色整合過程中十分重要。你通常將自己定義為工作為重型，家庭為重型，或者兩者皆而有之，又或者其他類型？（注意：這個(gè)問題也不是按照你認(rèn)為自己應(yīng)該是哪一種來回答，實(shí)話實(shí)說就好。）以工作為重的人喜歡用工作中的角色來定義自己經(jīng)理，副總裁，領(lǐng)導(dǎo)。家庭為重者首先把自己看成父母，伴侶或者朋友。雙重心者則把工作和生活中的角色看

5、的一樣重。（注意：大部分管理人員一開始都聲稱自己是雙重心型。不過通常他們的行為卻告訴我們并非如此。）其他重心型的注意力主要放在和工作以及家庭都沒有直接關(guān)系的興趣上。凱特在機(jī)場向我介紹自己時(shí)說的是作家，而不是收費(fèi)員也不是母親很明顯她符合“其他重心”這一型。奪回掌控權(quán)與那些主管們一起工作時(shí)，我常聽他們解釋事情時(shí)說“我的工作使我變成這樣。”通常事實(shí)都正好相反，除了某些特例。這兒便有一個(gè)特例。確實(shí)有些工作讓整合很難實(shí)現(xiàn)。更重要的是它們會(huì)影響你對自己所擁有的掌控能力的認(rèn)識(shí)。你覺得自己能夠?qū)⒐ぷ髋c個(gè)人生活區(qū)分到什么程度？區(qū)分能力越高，就越能夠自由決定何時(shí)關(guān)注工作，何時(shí)關(guān)注家庭。收費(fèi)亭的工作，毫無彈性原本就

6、容易讓人覺得沒有掌控能力。他們要一直呆在里面，狹小的空間和毫無隱私的環(huán)境讓他們區(qū)分能力變得很低。對于凱特來說似乎沒什么關(guān)系，不過大部分人在那樣的環(huán)境里都會(huì)覺得非常拘束被困住了。所以這里有幾個(gè)重要的建議。首先，不要試圖平衡任何事。第二，試著去整合。這需要你對自己偏愛的行為方式，自我認(rèn)識(shí)，以及自控能力真正有所了解。你得花點(diǎn)兒時(shí)間好好弄清楚自己的喜好。最后，整合生活的方式并不是唯一的。成功的方法，就好像那位停車場收費(fèi)員的小說情節(jié)一樣充滿無盡的可能性。hhi92tgkqcwa3ptgshls50clmtwn60eo8wgqv7xav2ohum32wgeauwydiawgmer4i30ka1dkaghn

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