書面表達專題8

1、書面表達專題書面表達專題( (八八) )學(xué)生習(xí)作點評學(xué)生習(xí)作點評(一一)請根據(jù)下面的英文短詩，展開適當?shù)南胂?，寫一篇請根?jù)下面的英文短詩，展開適當?shù)南胂?，寫一篇短文。標題為：短文。標題為：My Teacher Mr Moore。Theres teacher Mr Moore.Who is lovely and thirtyfour.Always encouraging us to try.He leads us to a world of“why”We all admire him more and more.注意：注意：1.不得照抄短詩原文。不得照抄短詩原文。2必須結(jié)合短詩的內(nèi)容，發(fā)揮想象，

2、適當展開。必須結(jié)合短詩的內(nèi)容，發(fā)揮想象，適當展開。3必須突出短詩的主題，結(jié)構(gòu)完整，語意連貫。必須突出短詩的主題，結(jié)構(gòu)完整，語意連貫。4短文不能寫成詩歌形式。短文不能寫成詩歌形式。5詞數(shù)：詞數(shù)：120左右。左右。學(xué)生習(xí)作學(xué)生習(xí)作My Teacher Mr MooreMr Moore，thirtyfour aged，is a lovely teacher.But at the first sight to him，Im fillingwith unkindness to him due to his seriouslooking face and severe words.With time go

3、es，all of us make friend withhim.So we always play basketball and share our interesting experiences with him.In a word，he is not only our teacher but also our close friend.In study，he always encourages us to try and refusesto give inwhatever we meet.And in life，he often does a favour and spares no e

4、ffort to help us.Apart from above，he also has an advantage onothers which is his humorous character，so we can learn more knowledge in a happy atmosphere.Now although we have separated a long time but we all miss him more and more.表達有誤，此處可用表達有誤，此處可用aged thirtyfour作后置定語作后置定語或用介詞短語或用介詞短語at the age of 3

5、4。be filled with與與be full of均意為均意為“充滿充滿的的”，故此處應(yīng)把故此處應(yīng)把filling改為改為filled?！半S著時間的推移隨著時間的推移”的正確表達法為：的正確表達法為：With time going或或As time goes/went/has gone on，故此處應(yīng)把，故此處應(yīng)把With改為改為As，或把，或把goes改為改為going。make friends with sb.“與某人交朋友與某人交朋友”，friend應(yīng)用復(fù)數(shù)形式。應(yīng)用復(fù)數(shù)形式。教師點評教師點評分析句子結(jié)構(gòu)可知，此處分析句子結(jié)構(gòu)可知，此處refuse應(yīng)與應(yīng)與try并列而非并列而非與與

6、encourage并列，故應(yīng)用動詞原形。并列，故應(yīng)用動詞原形。根據(jù)句意根據(jù)句意“不管遇到什么事情我們都不要放棄不管遇到什么事情我們都不要放棄”可知，此處應(yīng)用可知，此處應(yīng)用give up“放棄放棄”，不應(yīng)該用，不應(yīng)該用give in“屈屈服服”?！皠龠^某人勝過某人”，應(yīng)用介詞，應(yīng)用介詞over。although和和but不能同時出現(xiàn)，應(yīng)去掉其中之一；不能同時出現(xiàn)，應(yīng)去掉其中之一；現(xiàn)在完成時態(tài)常與現(xiàn)在完成時態(tài)常與“for一段時間一段時間”連用，故連用，故a long time前應(yīng)加前應(yīng)加for。(二二)Directions：Write an English composition in about

7、 100 to 120 words according to the points given in Chinese.1我最難忘的一課。我最難忘的一課。2具體說明為什么難忘。具體說明為什么難忘。3感想。感想。學(xué)生習(xí)作學(xué)生習(xí)作On my study way，aEnglish class makes a deep impression on me and is remainin my memory.At that time，Im not interested in English and always do other somethingin English classes.However，thi

8、s English class makes me change my mind about English.The English teachers lecture attracts me deeply.She opens a door for me，makeme realize English is very important andinteresting.She gives me enough confidence learnEnglish well.In a word，this class changes my life in some way.Therefore，I swear I must learn English well and I can.本文漢語式英語較多，出現(xiàn)了許多時態(tài)錯誤。既然本文漢語式英語較多，出現(xiàn)了許多時態(tài)錯誤。既然是記敘是記敘“難忘的一課難忘的一課”，應(yīng)以一般過去時為主。本文除最，應(yīng)以一般過去時為主。本文除最后一句外，其他各句的時態(tài)均應(yīng)改為過去時態(tài)。后一句外，其他各句的時態(tài)均應(yīng)改為過去時態(tài)。教師點評教師點評此處為漢語式表達，應(yīng)改為此處為漢語式表達，應(yīng)改為In my study life/career。冠詞使用錯誤，冠詞使用錯誤，a應(yīng)改為應(yīng)改為an。remain為系動詞，故應(yīng)將為系動詞，故應(yīng)將is remain改為改為remains。此