中學英語 讀后續(xù)寫微技能之細節(jié)描寫 教案

新高考讀后續(xù)寫高分素材--微技能之細節(jié)描寫讀后續(xù)寫微技能之細節(jié)描寫1高考中續(xù)寫的文體主要為記敘文。顧名思義，記敘文主要以記敘事件為主，因此需要用到許多的細節(jié)描寫以使文章生動，言之有物。不少學生語言功底不錯，但是續(xù)寫始終得不了高分，其中一個原因可能就是細節(jié)描寫的缺乏。那么，續(xù)寫該如何寫呢？我們應該做到兼顧概括描述和細節(jié)描述，而且要多用細節(jié)描述。所謂概括描述是指對一個事件的總體描述，而細節(jié)描述則是對事件的具體描述，來對之前的總體描述進一步解釋說明，這樣能夠使得描述更加生動，有畫面感。

舉例：如表達一個人的疲累時，可用概括描述：shefeltexhausted.同時輔以細節(jié)描述Shefeltexhaustedandsatbythestream,restingherachingfeet.如果大家注意這些細節(jié)的描述，一定會為你的記敘文續(xù)寫增色！“感到害怕”的細節(jié)描述當看到那只兇惡的狼時，我感到很害怕。1、大家可以先嘗試用概括描述，先將意思表達清楚。

______________________________________2、請你在此概括描述的基礎(chǔ)上增加細節(jié)描述，注意邏輯關(guān)系以及語意的合理。

1）_______________________________________2）_______________________________________3）_______________________________________

參考答案：1.Atthesightoftheferociouswolf,Ifeltveryscared.2.

1）Atthesightoftheferociouswolf,I

feltsoscaredthat

mythroattightenedandmykneesfelt

weak.

(嗓子發(fā)緊，膝蓋發(fā)軟)2）Atthesightoftheferociouswolf,I

frozewithterror,tooscaredtomoveaninch.(嚇呆了，不敢動彈)3）Atthesightoftheferociouswolf,I

wasseizedbyastrongsenseofhorrorand

mypalmsweresweating.

(被深深地恐懼感所控制，手心出汗)

表感到興奮thrilled當主持人宣布她獲獎時，她興奮極了。

1、大家可以先嘗試用概括描述，先將意思表達清楚。

_____________________________________2、請你在此概括描述的基礎(chǔ)上增加細節(jié)描述，注意邏輯關(guān)系以及語意的合理。1）_______________________________________2）_______________________________________3）_______________________________________

參考答案：1.Whenthehostannouncedthatshewontheprize,shefeltthrilled.2.

1)Whenthehostannouncedthatshewontheprize,

hereyestwinkledwithexcitement.（激動得兩眼放光）2)Whenthehostannouncedthatshewontheprize,

herheartwasthumpingwithexcitement.

(激動得心砰砰跳)3)Whenthehostannouncedthatshewontheprize,

awideexcitementtookholdofher.

(興奮不能自已)感到悲傷”的細節(jié)描述一聽到那個壞消息，她悲傷不已。1、大家可以先嘗試用概括描述，先將意思表達清楚。

_____________________________________2、請你在此概括描述的基礎(chǔ)上增加細節(jié)描述，注意邏輯關(guān)系以及語意的合理。

1）_______________________________________2）_______________________________________3）_______________________________________

參考答案：1.

Uponhearingthebadnews,shefeltextremelysad.2.

1）Uponhearingthebadnews,

herheartached,tearsstreamingdownhercheeks.

(心痛，眼淚直流)2）Uponhearingthebadnews,she,

numbwithgrief,hadtroublespeaking.

(悲傷到失去知覺，不能開口說話)3）Uponhearingthebadnews,she

feltseizedbyaburstofsadness

andcouldn’thelpcryingbitterly.(被一股悲傷之感控制，忍不住哭泣)“感到開心”的細節(jié)描述當媽媽親吻他時，小baby開心極了。1、大家可以先嘗試用概括描述，先將意思表達清楚。

______________________________________2、請你在此概括描述的基礎(chǔ)上增加細節(jié)描述，注意邏輯關(guān)系以及語意的合理。1）_______________________________________2）_______________________________________3）_______________________________________

參考答案：1.Whenhismotherkissedhimonthecheek,thebabywashappy/delighted/fullofjoy.2.1)

Whenhismotherkissedhimonthecheek,itseemedasifthebaby

wereontopoftheworld.

(非常開心)

2)

Whenthemotherkissedthebabyonthecheek,

hisface

beamedandhisbrightsmilelituptheroom.

(眉開眼笑；笑容照亮房間)

3)

Whenthemotherkissedthebabyonthecheek,

hiseyesdancedwithjoyandsweetness.

(歡欣雀躍)"感到羞愧"的細節(jié)描述她感到非常羞愧。1、大家可以先嘗試用概括描述，先將意思表達清楚。___________________________________________________________________________(答案見底部Key1)2、請你在此概括描述的基礎(chǔ)上增加細節(jié)描述，注意邏輯關(guān)系以及語意的合理。1）_________________________________________________________________________2）_________________________________________________________________________3）_________________________________________________________________________(答案見底部Key2)參考答案：Key1:

Shefeltashamed.Key2:1)

Shefeltsoashamed

that

she

could

feel

her

faceburning.(臉上滾燙)2)

Soashamedwasshethatshecould

feel

thebloodrushto

her

face.

(血液涌上臉頰)3)

Soashameddidshefeelthatshe

wasclosetotears.

(快哭了)“感到生氣”的細節(jié)描述Sheldon感到非常生氣。1、大家可以先嘗試用概括描述，先將意思表達清楚。

______________________________________2、請你在此概括描述的基礎(chǔ)上增加細節(jié)描述，注意邏輯關(guān)系以及語意的合理。1）_______________________________________2）_______________________________________3）_______________________________________參考答案：Key1:Sheldonfeltveryangry.Key2:1)Sheldonfeltsoangrythathe

stormedoutoftheroom,slammingthedoorfuriouslybehindhim.

(沖出房間；狠狠摔門)2)

Boilingwithrage,Sheldon

shookhisfistatme.(怒火中燒；揮舞拳頭)3)

Filledwithfury,Sheldonwas

unableto

utterasingleword.

(充滿憤怒；說不出話)“感到絕望”的細節(jié)描述Tony感到很絕望。1、大家可以先嘗試用概括描述，先將意思表達清楚。

______________________________________2、請你在此概括描述的基礎(chǔ)上增加細節(jié)描述，注意邏輯關(guān)系以及語意的合理。1）_______________________________________2）_______________________________________3）_______________________________________參考答案：Key1:Tonyfelthopeless/desperate.Key2:1)

Astheresultofanaccident,

Tony

wassuddenlythrowninto

aworldofdarknessand

sankintohopelessness.

(被投入黑暗之中；陷入絕望)2)

Tony

feltleftout

andwasgettingdesperatewithloneliness.

(感覺被遺忘、忽視)3)Tony'sbeliefsinlookingforwardandseeingthepositiveineverything

deserted

him.

“人的行走之態(tài)”細節(jié)描述1、踉踉蹌蹌

________________________________________2、悄悄地走________________________________________3、猛沖________________________________________(答案見底部)Keys:

1.

Theplayerlosthisbalance,

staggeredback

and

toppledover.

這個運動員失去了平衡，向后趔趄摔倒了。2.

She

slipped

outofbedand

tiptoed

tothewindow.她溜下床，踮起腳尖走向窗戶。3.

Theminion

madearushforthedoor

andescapedfromthescene.小黃人向門沖去，逃離了現(xiàn)場。人的說話方式”細節(jié)描述說話的方式多種多樣，如果都用talk就顯得索然無味，也不夠準確，所以要多積累各種各樣的表達。1、說長道短；八卦

________________________________________2、小聲咕噥________________________________________3、嚎叫________________________________________(答案見底部)Keys:1.

Thewholecompanyis

gossipingabout

thereasonforhisdismissal.

整個公司都在談論他被免職的原因。2.

He

murmuredagainst

thestrictrulesoftherealityshow.

他私下低聲抱怨真人秀的嚴苛規(guī)則。3.

Treatedsounfairly,she

howledinpainandanger.

被如此不公正地對待，她痛苦而又憤怒的嚎叫。細節(jié)描述之“思考”如何表達一個人暗自思索時的樣子對學生來說是很困難的，大多數(shù)情況下，學生往往會選擇避開，但是，人無時無刻不在思考，強行避開會使得故事內(nèi)容上有些不銜接。所以，今天我們就一起來學習一下如何表達一個人的思考神態(tài)。

1.

得知問題所在之后，他的大腦開始急速運轉(zhuǎn)，想要想出一個好的解決方案。________________________________________________2.獨自一人時，他總是會想到那可怕的經(jīng)歷。________________________________________________3.

在他洗澡時，突然想到了一個好主意。________________________________________________(答案見底部)Keys:1.

Afterheknewwhattheproblemwas,

hismindbegantorace,tryingtothinkofagoodsolution.(大腦飛速運轉(zhuǎn))2.

Whenleftalone,hewouldalways

behauntedby

thathorribleexperience.([不好的回憶]縈繞心頭揮之不去)3.

Whenhewastakingashower,abrilliantideasuddenly

crossedhismind.(突然閃過某人的腦海)細節(jié)描述之“describeapeacefulscene”今天，我們來看看該如何描述安靜祥和的場景。1.

享受陽光__________________________________________2.山間有小屋和田地__________________________________________3.

入暮時分，蘆葦隨風飄揚__________________________________________(答案見底部)Keys:1.

WhenI

wasbathedin

thesunlight,itfeltlike

theamber-likesunshinewaskissingeveryinch

ofmyskin.(沐浴在陽光下；琥珀色的陽光親吻著全身的肌膚)2.Mist-coveredmountains

weredottedwith

smallfarmsandvillages.(點綴著)3.

Thesoundofmyfootstepswasaccompaniedonlyby

thegracefullywavingreeds.

(優(yōu)雅地隨風飄揚的蘆葦)細節(jié)描述之“describestormyweather”今天，我們來看看該如何描述風雨交加的天氣。1.

烏云密布__________________________________________2.勁風惡浪肆虐__________________________________________3.

暴雨疾風__________________________________________(答案見底部)Keys:1.

Theskyis

overcast,

darkenedwithgloomyclouds.(烏云密布；黑云壓頂)2.Onthatdarkandstormynight,

thewaves

were

crashingandthewindswerehowling.

(海浪肆意拍打；勁風咆哮)3.

Therain

came

pouringdown,thestreamsrose,andthewindsblewand

beatagainst

thehouse.(暴風驟雨)

讀后續(xù)寫對話中的常見誤區(qū)1

廢話連篇，無助推動情節(jié)發(fā)展，刻畫人物性格?！癏ey,howareyou?”“I’mfine,howareyou?”“Howistheweather?”“Terrific!Nicedayforawalk,isn’tit?”評析：這樣的對話在現(xiàn)實生活中很真實，但是小說畢竟是藝術(shù)加工，無助情節(jié)推動的，不能刻畫人物性格的日常寒暄和偏離文章主線的對話絕對不用。

2追求花哨，過度使用對話標簽dialoguetags“Thatisfantasticnews,”hesaidhappily.評析：此句中完全沒有必要加上一個happily來表達說的方式，因為句中的fantastic一詞足以說明說話人了表情，過度強調(diào)dialoguetags

會讓讀者的注意力集中在“說話的方式”而不是“說話的內(nèi)容”。建議改為：“Thatisfantasticnews！”hesaid/screamed/exclaimed.(一個感嘆號和一個fantastic已經(jīng)足以讓讀者想象當時的情景。適當?shù)摹八囆g(shù)留白”也是需要的，這樣會留給讀者想象的空間。還有一種避免過度的dialoguetags的方法是運用“動作描寫”來取而代之。如：Hereyesreflectedthecandlelightasshesmiledatherson.“Everyone

isunique.Justfollowyourheartandbeyourself!”

3

用詞不當，錯誤使用對話標簽dialoguetags"Ican'tbelieveit,"Emmagasped."That'shilarious,"Henrychuckled.評析：以上兩句話也是我在大量的學生習作甚至是范文中發(fā)現(xiàn)的。這里把動作描寫和dialoguetags

混淆了，試想誰能gasp（喘息）、chuckle（輕笑）出一句話？除非他或她有特異功能。糾正方法如下："Ican'tbelieveit,"Emma

saidwithagasp.

（Questiontag+with介詞短語）Emmagasped.

"Ican'tbelieveit."

（動作描寫+句號）"Ican'tbelieveit."

Emmagasped.

（對話句斷+動作描寫）"That'shilarious!"

Henry

chuckled.

（感嘆句結(jié)束+動作描寫）"That'shilarious,"Henry

said,chuckling.

（Questiontag+

分詞做伴隨狀況）請?zhí)貏e關(guān)注以上對話的標點。4

多此一舉，對話對象十分明確，仍使用對話標簽“Itoldyoualready,”Isaid,glaring.評析：此句貌似豪華，其實對話中的主語“I”已經(jīng)清晰地說明了說話者，完全沒有必要用questiontag“Isaid”

來說明說話對象。糾正方法：加上一點動作描寫就可以避免這種錯誤，并且提升語言的生動性。Iglaredathim.

“Itoldyoualready.”5頻用副詞，詞匯貧乏只會tell不會show“Howcanyoudothis？”shesaidangrily，lookingatmefuriously.評析：此句也是貌似“高大上”，使用了大量副詞，并且套用了分詞做伴隨的句型。任何方面都有度，過之而不及。過度堆砌辭藻會讓人生厭，過度使用副詞也會讓閱卷老師覺得你詞匯貧乏，非得用副詞才能表達出來。2大糾正辦法：1）積累相關(guān)的

show

的詞匯來避免過度使用副詞

2）穿插動作描寫輔助對話，刻畫人物心情試比較以下兩句：“That’s

notwhatyousaidyesterday,”

shesaid,hervoiceimplyingshewaswithdrawing.“That’snotwhatyousaidyesterday.”

Shehesitated,turnedandwalkedtothewindow.評析：兩句話粗看都是相當不錯。無論從詞匯和語法結(jié)構(gòu)的使用似乎都屬于上乘之作。但細細琢磨下面這句反而更高一籌。原因是，第一句用了imply

和withdraw

兩詞來tell說話者she的心情，而第二句hesitate

和后面的動作描寫讓她的猶豫心情躍然紙上。小說故事要的就是這種show的方式。分析對話實例，揭示對話秘訣Example1

原文內(nèi)容：作者爸爸在陽臺種植康乃馨，悉心呵護，作者一家都非常喜歡這些花。爸媽再三強調(diào)不允許作者和他姐姐不能觸碰這些花。

Tooursurprise,Dadwasmadaboutit,yellingatus,“Don’tyouknowtouchingisnotallowed?Whatonearthhaveyoudone?”

賞析：反義疑問句和onearth的使用加強了語氣，凸顯了父親的生氣。Example2

原文內(nèi)容：母親去世，哥哥外出。父女相約吃飯，引發(fā)了女兒對母親和哥哥的思念，父親讀懂了女兒內(nèi)心的想法，安慰女兒。母親在天堂一定希望他們過得快樂，現(xiàn)在他們需要做的就是珍惜身邊的人。

Seeingthis,myfatherlovinglyheldmyhands

andsaidtome,“Sweetheart,Ibelieve

yourmother

mustwantyoutolivehappily,sosaygoodbyetothepastandembracethepresent.YourbrotherandIwillalwaysbewithyou.”

賞析：情感類的對話要求感人，觸及內(nèi)心，這點此對話做的不錯。但是小編也要對此對話提出點意見1）文中的andsaidtome完全沒有必要，因為對話對象非常清楚，肯定和我說。2）yourmother顯得太疏遠，親人間相互稱呼用Mom即可，更顯真實，貼近生活。Example3

原文內(nèi)容：作者家突然停電，雖然弟弟覺得停電時間非常無聊，但是作者卻非常享受停電時間，享受“沒有現(xiàn)代電子科技帶來的干擾”的寧靜片刻。

Bzzz!Thelightsreturn.“Yeah,nomorecandles!”Mymotheryells,pullingmeawayfrommyfantasy.

賞析：對話簡潔自然，表達了說話者恢復用電時候的興奮，對話外面的dialoguetag也很出色，分詞的使用既豐富了語言也推動了情節(jié)的進一步發(fā)展。Example4

原文內(nèi)容：主人公Jenny通過自身的勞動獲得了心愛的項鏈，形影不離。父親每日給她講睡前故事。父親故意試探女兒，問是否可以把項鏈給他。Jenny深愛爸爸但不舍自己努力得來的項鏈。

Aweeklater,herfatheronceagainaskedJennyafterherstory.“Jenny,youloveme,don’tyou?Givemeyourpearls,okay?“Daddy,whymustyouaskforthepearls?”Jennyrefusedagain.

“NotonlydidIfinishallthosechores,butalsoIspentthedollarbillgivenformybirthdayjusttopayforit.”Theybothfellintosilence.Thenherfathersmiled，comfortingherwithawarmhug.“That’sokey,darling.Good

night.”

Severaldayslater,whenJenny’sfathercameintoreadherastoryasusual,hewassurprisedtofindsomethingunderthestorybook,whichturnedouttobethenecklace.“Daddy,nowyoucanhaveit.”Jennyraisedherhead,“Youknow,Iloveyou.”Herfatherwasmovedbeyondwords.Slowly,hepulledsomethingoutofhispocket.Itwasaprettynecklacewithrealpearlsshining.“Themoreyouarewillingtogive,themoreyouarelikelytoreceive.That’stherealmeaningofsharingandgiving.”

HerfatherhelpedJennyputonthenecklace.“Youknow,Iloveyou,littleone.”

賞析：此文運用了大量的對話，主要是考慮到與前文的協(xié)同。大量的父女間的對話穿插一些旁白或動作描寫很好地刻畫了人物之間的沖突，細膩生動地刻畫了人物心情。一般的讀后續(xù)寫不建議用太多的對話。適當?shù)膶υ捒梢源蚱茊握{(diào)，推動情節(jié)，刻畫人物性格。對于此文中的對話，小編也想提出點個人的意見：1）“NotonlydidIfinishallthosechores,butalsoIspentthedollarbillgivenformybirthdayjusttopayforit.”此句似乎為了使用notonly…,butalso的倒裝句型而寫對話，顯得很不自然。語句太長反而不能表達小女孩當時的生氣。建議改為:

“It’smine!Myefforts!”

反而顯得簡潔自然，同樣達到了效果，符合人在生氣時候的說話方式：短句！不完整句！2）還有一處標點的使用也有誤。請看：Jennyraisedher

head,

此處的逗號要改為句號。只能作為動作描寫，而不是questiontag。Example5

原文內(nèi)容：

這是一個哲理故事，講述一位商人兒子去向智者尋找快樂秘訣。智者讓年輕人帶著兩湯勺油繞城一周不能將油灑落。智者待年輕人回來后問他是否欣賞到城堡的美景，年輕人啞口無言。然后智者重新讓這年輕人帶著兩勺油繞城一周，結(jié)果……

“ButwherearethetwodropsofoilIgaveyou?”askedthewiseman.

Embarrassedagain,

theyoungmanapologized,“Ihadforgottenthesptotally.Myonlyconcernwastheattractivesights.”“Butyouhavegotthehappiness.”Smiledthewiseman…

“ButwherearethetwodropsofoilIgaveyou?”askedthewiseman.

Heloweredhisheadandfoundthattherewasnothingleftinhisspoon,astonishedandembarrassed.Thenthewisemansmiledgenerously,

“Idon’tblameyou.Ijustwantyoutorealizethesecretofhappinessyourself.Now,couldyoutellmeaboutyourthoughts?”Theyoungmanthoughtforawhileandslowlyreplied,“thetruthofhappinessisholdingourdreamstightlybutneverfailingtowatchthebeautifulsceneryaroundus.”

賞析：此文的對話主要是用來揭示故事的寓意，通常出現(xiàn)在故事的末尾。這樣的對話一定要寫出深度厚度，才能博得老師的高分。建議可以使用強調(diào)句。此文中也有一個標點瑕疵。請看：Thenthewisemansmiledgenerously,

此句的逗號也要改為句號，作為動作描寫穿插其中，而不是questiontag。他山石可攻玉|這些“恐懼”情緒的表達你都用過嗎？一篇出自美國初中生的看圖說話與2018年6月浙江英語高考“讀后續(xù)寫”酷似！Writeashortstorybasedonthepicturesbelowinnotlessthan100words.Oneweekend,myparentsdecidedtobringmybrotherandIto

therecreationaljungle.Wewereveryexcitedaswehadnotbeentherebefore.MybrotherandItalkedaboutallthebears,tigersandreindeerweweregoingtosee.Wereallythoughtthatarecreationaljunglewaslikeanyotherjungle.Whenwearrived,we

dashedintothejungle,wantingto

exploreitslengthandbreadth.We

obediently

followedourparentsatfirstbutfounditboring.Justthen,arabbitrushedout.I

screamed

indelight

andranafterit.Mybrotherfollowed

quicklybehind.Wekeptrunning,always

keeping

oureyeson

therabbit.Therabbitgottiredofrunninganddecidedtohideinits

burrow.Itwasonlythenthatwerealizedthatwedidnotknowwherewewere.Thetreeslookedunfamiliarandtherewerenomorejunglepathsforustofollow.Wewerescared

aswerealizedthatwewerelost.

Nightwasapproachingandthehootingoftheowl

sentshiversdownourspines.IbegantocryasIwasfeelingtired,hungryandsleepy.Mybrothercomfortedmebylettingmesleeponhislap.Isoonfellasleepdreamingofbearswaitingtoeatmeup.Suddenly,Iwokeup.Mybrotherwasshakingmeandtellingthemtogetup.Wecouldhearvoicescomingourway!We

shouted

withallourmight

thatwewerelost.Wesoonsaw

beamsoflight

fromcountlesstorches.Thenweheardourparents'voices.Weweresafe!MybrotherandIrantoourparentsand

embracedthem

emotionally.Weweresohappytoseethemagainthatwe

vowed

weneverwantedtobeseparatedfromthemeveragain.Notes：burrow:

aholeinthegrounddugbyananimalsuchasarabbit,especiallytoliveinsendshiversdownsb'sspines:

tomakesomeonefeelveryfrightenedvow:

tomakeadetermineddecisionStudy

thefollowingthefollowingexamples

andlearnhowtoshowone’s

fearExample1-Fear:

Midnight,andsomeonepoundedonthefrontdoor."Mom?Dad?"Wherewerethey?Themoviegotoutat11.Mollycrawledoutofbedandtiptoeddownstairs.Ashadowyfigureshowedthroughthefrostedglassinthefrontdoor.Fearnibbledathermakingherkneeswobble.

Mom'svoiceechoedinsideherhead."Remember,don'tanswerthedoorwhenwe'reaway."Mollycrouched,backpressedagainstthewall,mouthdry-as-dirt."Please,goaway,"herwordsachokedwhisper.KeyWords

-

pounded,crawled,tiptoed,shadowy,fearnibbled,wobble,echoed,crouched,pressed,dry-as-dirt,choked.Comments：1）例1中大量運用了短句，戲劇性的短句能夠增強緊張感2）這些關(guān)鍵字大部分都是強有力且活躍動詞。3）簡短的dialogue有效推動了情節(jié)發(fā)展，營造了栩栩如生的恐懼的場景。It'sYourturn:Example2-Fear:Icanfeelthesweatdrenchmyskin,thethrobbingofmyowneyes,theringingscreamsvibratinginmyears,andthethumpingofmyheartagainstmychest.Myfingersarecurledintoafist,nailsdiggingintomypalm.Ican'thearmyrapidbreathing,butIcanfeeltheoxygenfloodinginandoutofmylungs.Hesitantly,myeyeslookatthedeadcorpsebeforeme,thepersonIkilled.Feartorturesmyguts,churningmystomachintensecramps.Fearengulfsmyconscience,knockingallotherthoughtsaside.Fearoverwhelmsmybody,

makingitdrasticallyexhausted.However,mostofall,thefearismakingmecalmandthatiswhatscaresmethemost.Keywords：_____________________________Yourtreasure:____________________________Example3-Fear

Timepassedslowly.Cathystayedhiddenwithinthedarkness,feelingeverybeatofherheartpoundingonthecoldstoneshelayupon.Thewineandalecellarwasasquietasitwasdark,withonlyonesoundtobeheard;thesoundofherownpulsethrobbinginherears.Suddenly,theserenityofsilencesurrenderedtothedeathlyscreamofhinges,asthedooroppositeherwasslowlypriedopen.Anarrowstreamoflightgracefullymeanderedthroughtheroom,andashadowquicklyfollowed.

Shewasscared.

Cathyheldherbreathe,daringnottomakeasound.Eachsecondseemedtolastaneternityasshelayperfectlystilllisteningtothefootstepsoftheintruder,whichhadmutedthepoundingofherpulse.Keywords：______________________Yourtreasure:_____________________恐懼來自自身，最大的恐懼其實就是恐懼本身！讀后續(xù)寫微技能|如何讓你筆下的對話更加準確傳神對話（dialogue）是故事角色在整個故事中對彼此或?qū)ψ约赫f的話。它可以用來揭示人物的性格和個性，它也可以用來推動情節(jié)向前發(fā)展，并展示情節(jié)發(fā)展的過程。

對話是故事中最重要的元素之一。對話的語言要避免冗長的敘述，要避免直接告訴讀者而要通過其他手段來展示它們。優(yōu)秀的對話會讓你故事中的人物生動立體，栩栩如生，將推動你的故事進展，使其更有樂趣，而拙劣的對話將破壞一個好的故事。11.如何準確使用對話中的標點請觀察下面的句子。Jackasked,“Doyouthinkitwillraintoday?”“Ihaveanewumbrella,”

explainedEmily,

“andIamexcitedtotryitout.”“Whydon'tyouchecktheweatherforecastonyourphone?”

suggestedCarly.“Itisassimpleasthesmileonyourface,”hesaid.先看一個如何使用標點的視頻英語對話標點使用規(guī)則：第一、

對話提示詞（Dialoguetags）“Jackasked,”/“explainedEmily,”/“suggestedCarly,”

的位置可以放在引用的對話前、中、后三個位置。第二、

對話中的逗號，永遠在引號里面。對話提示詞“某某人說”構(gòu)成了整個句子的框架，它和它引用的部分是一個整體，是完整的一個句子。這就解釋了很多老師的疑惑，為啥對話有時候引用的對話說完了，但是后面卻用逗號。如：“Itwasashardasarock,”hesaid.

但是：

Hesaid，“Itwasashardasarock.”第三、

整個對話（引用部分+對話提示詞）完整的時候，才能使用句號。對話開始首字母大寫。如果對話提示詞是插在一個完整對話中間的，

后面需要用逗號。且后半句話開頭首字母要小寫。如：“Ihaveanewumbrella,”

explainedEmily,

“andIamexcitedtotryitout.”Exercise1：給下面的句子加標點1.There'safiftypercentchanceofrainthisafternoon,reportedEmily.2.Emilyasked,DoyouthinkIshouldtakemynewumbrellatoschool?3.Ofcourseyoushouldtakeittoschool,answeredJack.4.Ifitstartsraining,Carlyadded,youwillbeniceanddry.5.Emilysquealed(尖叫),Iseedarkgraystormcloudsrollingin.6.Ohno!exclaimed(驚叫)Jack.CarlyandIdon'thaveumbrellas.7.Hooray!yelled（喊叫）

Emily.It'sfinallyraining.8.Carlymumbled（咕噥地說）,Myhairisgettingsoaked.9.WouldyouandJackliketosharemyumbrellawithme?askedEmily.10.ThankyouEmily,

saidCarly.You'remorethanjustafairweatherfriend.2

如何讓你的對話不平庸對話的關(guān)注點就是故事中的角色1）對誰說了什么話2）說話的同時在做什么3）如何說的例1A:

"Givemethe

money,"Katherinesaid.

B:"Givemethemoney,"

Katherinesaid,eyesstaring

atthemoneyonthetable。在高考讀后續(xù)寫的實際操作中，我們更加鐘愛B

這種句式，既表明了說話對象，又描述了說話的方式，讓讀者更有畫面感。例2"Givemethattoygun,"Tom

saidangrily.Lucygrinned,hidingitbehindherback.這組對話中的saidangrily

的使用讓整個對話表現(xiàn)平庸。改變這種現(xiàn)狀的辦法有兩種I.

換直接告訴的詞（saidangrily）為展示型詞匯

（如：shouted/screamed/barked）請看下面視頻II．在上下文語境明確的情況下，通過動作和神態(tài)描寫來代替枯燥乏味的sb.said…(對話提示語)。

這樣處理的好處是：1）增加表現(xiàn)力生動性

2）避免打斷對話的語流。如：TomslammedthedollonthegroundandglaredatLucy，"Giveme

thetoy."Lucygrinned，hidingitbehindherback..提示：在讀后續(xù)寫的創(chuàng)作中，盡量少用副詞來表述說話人講話方式（因為你用了副詞那就是tell而不是show）,特別是你要主要渲染的場景.讓你的對話有趣逼真有畫面立體感的是你如何使用show的技能，那就一定要使用一些描繪性的動詞。（他們說了什么話，說話時同時在做什么，以及是如何說的）拙劣表達：

"I'mgoingtothestore,"

Sydney

announced

happily.

"Wannagowithme?"上面這個例子中Sydney的感情是直接告知的，干巴巴的，了無生趣。優(yōu)秀表達：

Sydneypulledhisshiny,newdriver'slicenseoutofhispocket.

Thecarkeyswerealreadyinhishandasheflashedthemathislittlesister

andgrinned.

"I'mgoingtothestore,"heannounced."Wanna

gowithme?"第二個例子中，雖然沒有用happily一詞，但是Sydney的高興的表情是通過動作描寫溢于紙面。這樣的表達就能博得高考閱卷老師的眼球，從而獲得高分。下面的兩個例子都是我們需要追求的：“Ijustdon’tknowanymore,”

Maryfoldedherarms.

“IthinkI’mafraidofyou.”Harrysighed.“I’msorry,”

Heshookhishead.

“I’mnotverygoodatthis.”練習2：試比較體會下面三句話的優(yōu)劣1.ButIdon'twanttogotosleepyet,"hesaidunhappily.2.ButIdon'twanttogotosleepyet,"hewhined.3.

Hestoodinthedoorwaywithhishandsballedintolittlefistsathissides.Hisred,tear-rimmedeyesglaredupathismother.

"ButIdon'twanttogotosleepyet."

Exercise3：(請改寫下面的句子使它表達更生動傳神)“Idon’twanttoseeyouagain,”Lilysaid

tonelessly.“Youdon’tmeanthat,”Jacksaid

desperately.“You’reanidiot,”Lilysaid

angrily.

對話并不難寫。只要記住在任何時候都要生動逼真。在準確的對話格式的前提下，確保你寫的所有內(nèi)容都是展示出來的，不是簡單直接地告訴讀者在那個場景中發(fā)生了什么或者說了什么。省略副詞或者不要過度使用副詞。這些簡單的規(guī)則可以幫助你寫出出色的對話。PossibleanswersforExercise3Lilyturnedawayandcrossedherarms.

“Idon’twanttoseeyouagain.”“Youdon’tmeanthat.”

Jackpushedtohisfeetinarush.Sheglaredathim.

“You’reanidiot.”讀后續(xù)寫微技能|氛圍營造法之一:8大場景描寫技能好的讀后續(xù)寫必然要有好的故事氛圍。而好的故事氛圍要受到多個故事元素的影響:

場景、用詞選擇、對話、獨白、語言節(jié)奏和修辭法等等。文學中的（mood）是一種寫作的氛圍或普遍基調(diào)，它是讀者在閱讀文本時候的一種情緒體驗，也是作者想要給讀者營造的一種故事氛圍。故事場景是情緒體驗的核心因素。故事的背景和每一個場景的視覺,嗅覺和聽覺等其他感官能夠營造出一種特定的氣氛。今天小編就想從場景描寫這個角度來談談如何營造（mood）。Whattowrite?(寫什么？)Wheredidittakeplace?

Whendidithappen?

What’stheweatherlike?

Whatarethesocialconditions?

Whatisthelandscapelike?

Whatspecialdetailstoadd?Howtowritewell?（怎么寫？）Technique1:Personification(擬人)Description/purpose:Givesanobjectthecharacteristicsofalivingthing,bringingittolifeExamples：Theflowers

nodded.Snowflakes

danced.Thunder

grumbled.Fog

creptin.Thewind

howled.Thehauntedhouseseemedto

stareat

me,

beckoning

metowardsthedoor.Technique2:simile(明喻)Description/purpose:Similes

likenssomethingtosomethingelsegivingamoredetaileddescriptionExamples：Thenightskywas

asdarkasthedeepestocean.Thestars

sparkledlikediamonds.Thesnake

movedlikearippleonapond.Technique3:metaphor(暗喻)Description/purpose:Metaphorssaythatsomethingissomethingelse,givingthedescriptionmorepowerExamples：Awaveofterror

washedoverhim.Technique4:Vividadjectives(生動的形容詞)Description/purpose:Tomakethestorymoreinterestingandvividbyusingmoreimaginativedescriptions,sometimesinalistExamples：Gleaming,

glistening,

whispery

flakesofsnowTechnique5:Negativedescription(否定描述)Description/purpose:Totellthereaderwhatisnotthereisaneffectivewayofshowinghowunpleasant,comfortlessaplaceisExamples：Therewas

nocushion,nocarpet,nowarmth,nolightandnocomfort.Technique6:Camera-panandzoom

(攝影-全景+放大)Description/purpose:Tousetheideaofhowafilmdirectorworks,youcangiveawiderviewthenfocusinononedetailExamples：Fromthewitheringtreeshelookedpastthe

litteredfarmyard,acrosstothedecrepithovel.

Itsdoors

hungsadlyawry,

thehandle

broken.Technique7:Nounsfordetails(細節(jié)名詞)Description/purpose:Scenesarefilledwiththingsthatweseeandthereforeuseslotsofnouns,evenlistsofnounstoconveywhatisthere.Examples：The

rooms

werecrowdedwith

lanterns

fastenedon

oakpaneledwalls,

tableslaidwith

silvercandlesticks

and

goblets.Technique8:Senses（感官）Description/purpose:Allofoursensesbecomeawareinanewsituationorplace.Yourreaderneedstoknowhowyourcharacterarefeeling.Examples：Waftsofsalt-ladenair

wereinhernostrilsasthe

skitterysandonherfeet

ledhertotheedgeofthewaves.Goodsettingdescriptionforappreciation(佳“景”賞析)1.Thehousesmelledmustyanddamp,andalittlesweet,asifitwerehauntedbytheghostsoflong-deadcookies.

2.Thesunkeptdippingdownintotheoceanandthelightscameonattheharbor,castingsuddenshadowsontheground,illuminatingthefacesthatwerejustasecondagosilhouettes.Theskywasgoldenandpurple,theoceanadarkershadeofviolet.

3.Thesunhadset,butafaintpastelhazelingeredinthemid-summersky.

4.Theyrolledupthepath,treebranchesrakingthewindshieldlikeangrywardens.

5.Outside,theairfilledwithcricketnoise,asthesunreddenedinitsdescent.

6.ArestaurantoverlookingastarlitnightsprangtomyimaginationlikesomethingoutofanilluminatedmanuscriptfromthelateMiddleAges.

7.Themoonwentslowlydowninloveliness;shedepartedintothedepthofthehorizon,andlongveil-likeshadowscreptuptheskythroughwhichthestarsappeared.

8.Allbrightnesswasgone,leavingnothing.Westeppedoutofthetentontonothing.Sledgeandtentwerethere,Estravenstoodbesideme,butneitherhenorIcastanyshadow.Therewasdulllightallaround,everywhere.Whenwewalkedonthecrispsnownoshadowshowedthefootprint.Weleftnotrack.Sledge,tent,himself,myself:nothingelseatall.Nosun,nosky,nohorizon,noworld.

9.Nighthadfallenfastupontheland.Nomorethananhouragotheskywaspaintedwithhuesofred,orangeandpink,butallcolourhadfadedleavingonlyamattblackcanvaswithnostarstobelookedupon.

10．Itwouldbeacoldmoonlessnight.Theskywasdarkandlow,theairsochilledithurttobreathe.Alreadythegroundwaslaidwhitewithfrostandanywaterthathadbeenliquidunderthewintersunhadbecomeice.后續(xù)寫微技能|氛圍營造法之二|3大高潮營造法1Whatisaclimaxofastory?（什么是故事高潮?）文學故事中的高潮（climax）----故事的主要場景（keyscene）也通常是故事的轉(zhuǎn)折點（turningpoint），是指故事達到最緊張或扣人心弦的那一部分。高潮有時候是劇情中的"危機"點。有時候,它只是達到關(guān)鍵時刻或者轉(zhuǎn)折點,發(fā)生了一些事情,或者主角必須做出決定,從而導致一個結(jié)果或其他。我們在分析敘事類故事或者小說故事的時候常常用下面的圖表來表示故事情節(jié)。

常見故事高潮示例：1.Alittlegirlhasbeensearchingforherlostdog.Allofasudden,shehearsabarkcomingfromaroundthecorner,andshelooksaroundtosee...

2.Kevinhasworkedveryhardtotryoutforthesoccerteamatschool.Thecoachhaspostedalistofthisyear'steammembersonhisofficedoor.Kevinwalksforwardtolookatthelist....

3.Mary'sparentshavebeendiscussingwhetherornottomovetoanotherstate.TheycallMaryandhersisterdowntotalkwiththemabouttheirdecision...

4.Loishasperformedinthestategymnasticsfinals.Shewaitsanxiouslytohearthenamesofthewinners.Theannouncersays,"Andfirstplacegoesto..."文學名著中的一些故事高潮

1.ThedeathsofRomeo(whokillshimselfbecausehethinksJulietisdead)andJuliet(whokillsherselfwhensheawakesandseesRomeodead).RomeoandJuliet,Shakespeare（羅密歐和朱麗葉，莎士比亞）

2.WhenGastonandthetownspeoplecometoattackthebeast,andBelleadmitsherloveforthebeast.BeautyandtheBeast,Disney（美女與野獸，迪士尼）

3.In"TheThreeLittlePigs,"suspensebuildsupuntiltheconfrontationbetweenthethirdpigandthewolf.Thisconfrontationistheclimax.（三只小豬）2Howtocreateaclimaxofastory?

(如何營造故事的高潮？)方法1.增加外部沖突增加外部沖突是一種明顯有效的可以達到故事高潮的方式。沖突帶來緊迫感,

將故事推向必要的解決或崩潰。1）角色之間的沖突

(人物觀點差異,

競爭需要等)如：2017年11月浙江英語高考：Onthefourthorfifthnight,wehad

trouble

findingahotelwithavacancy.Afterdrivinginvainforsometime,Momsuddenlygotagreatidea:Whydidn'twefindahousewithalikely-lookingbackyardandaskifwecouldsetuptentthere?DavidandIbecamenervous.

開車找旅館---徒勞無功---母親建議搭帳篷在他人后院---David和我倍感緊張，心有不悅（母子的觀點不一）2)

角色與環(huán)境之間的沖突如：2017年6月浙江英語高考：

ThenMacheardquickandloudbreathingbehindhim.……h(huán)esawinstantlythatitwasn'tadogatall,buta

wolf:quick