讀后續(xù)寫：如何動作描寫-2025屆高三英語復習寫作專項

兩招拆解動作描寫：動作鏈+動作面動詞是英語遣詞造句、體現(xiàn)語言描述功能的主角，很多句子都包含動作的描寫。要想把動作寫的生動有畫面感，主要有兩種思路：構(gòu)造“動作鏈”和“動作面”?！皠幼麈湣痹诿鑼憚幼鲿r，要學會細化動作，把動作過程分解成一連串細微的動作（2-3個動作）形成動作鏈，寫出動作的連貫性，使描寫具有畫面感，使人物更立體。按照時間軸，把動作拆解成連貫的動作鏈(描述-系列動作）比如:

1上車gotintothecar——按照時間軸拆分成攔車、上車、告訴司機目的地3個步驟Shehailedataxi,gotintoitandtoldthedriverherdestination.通過and連接3個謂語動詞2抱住兒子沖向前，蹲下來，一把抱住Shedashedforward,kneltdownandgatheredhersonintoherarms.3上臺發(fā)言一看了一眼獎杯，深吸一口氣，說到:“感謝吞吞”Sheglancedatthetrophy,tookadeepbreathandsaid,“ThankTunTun!”4扔肉把狼引開threwthemeat拿出肉、瞄準狼、扔出去Hepulledoutthemeat,aimedatthewolfandthrewitstraighttothefierceanimal.5給錢=打開錢包+取出錢+遞給可憐人Mymomopenedthepurse,tookoutfivedollarsandhandedittothepoorman.“and”連接多個并列謂語動詞1.

She

walked

tothecashregister

andpaid

themoney.2.

I

rushed

home,

searched

throughmycollectionofhats,

andgrabbed

thecottonone.3.

He

stopped

thetaxi,

jumped

inwiththesuitcase

andtold

thedriver,“Gotothepolicestation,please.”4.

Theboys

rushed

excitedlytothelake,

tookoff

theirclothes

andjumped

intothewater.5.

She

dashed

forward,

knelt

down

andgathered

hersoninto

herarms.6.

Thesinger

glanced

attheaudience,

took

adeepbreath

and

began

tosing.7.

We

crossed

bigriversandvastplains,

climbed

highmountains,

andoverlooked

deepvalleys.8.

He

reached

deepintohispocket，pulled

outahandful

ofchange，andheld

ituptothefarmer.9.

He

puton

hiscoat,

stormed

outand

slammed

thedoorshut.10.

Lorna

came

tothewindow,

opened

itand

looked

outupatthenightsky.非謂語動詞表達多個動作1.

Walking

tothedoorway,

Jenny

took

adeepbreath.2.

Holding

thenecklaceinherhand,Jenny

lifted

herlip,

tearsbeginningtoblurhervision.3.

Hearing

this,hermother

smiled,pattingherbackgently.4.

He

dove

intothewater,

kicking

hislegs

andstretching

his

armsasfarashecould.5.

Seeing

thecoatinthebag,he

looked

veryastonished

and

then

called

hismothertogoout.6.

Feeling

strongernow.Jane

walked

alongthestream,

hoping

thatitwouldleadhertothelake.7.

Standing

besidetheemptyroad,they

looked

upintothesky,

feeling

thepreciouspeacefrom

within.8.

Throwing

theovercoatacrossherarm,she

crossed

thehallquietly.9.

Rushing

towardsthedoor,she

opened

it,

saying,

“Here,EdmondhereIam”.10.

Hismother,

standing

atthedoor,

cried

tearsofjoy.11.

Putting

thebookwhereitbelonged,theboy

tiptoed

outoftheroomaslightlyaspossible.12.

Jane

gottoherfeet

shakily,

approached

herhusbandand

threw

herselfintohisarms,

sobbing

uncontrollablyonhisshoulders.動作面動作鏈是一個人的動作的依次連貫。但是若是想要描述具有畫面感，還可以通過構(gòu)造“動作面”來讓語言更豐富。比如我們可以從肢體、面部、語言和心理等多個維度來刻畫場景。比如：他面帶殺氣，振臂一揮，大喊：“放箭！”。該句分別從面部表情、肢體動作和語言的角度進行刻畫，從而把整個場景編制成一個飽滿的動作面。例句1、Standing

besidetheemptyroad,theylookedupintothesky,

feeling

thepreciouspeacefromwithin.他們站在空曠的路邊，仰望著天空，感受著這份珍貴的平靜。2、Hewasoverwhelmedwithjoy,

singinganddancing

intherain.他欣喜若狂，在雨中又唱又跳。3、Theywerehavingawonderfultime,

talking,eatingandjoking.他們享受著美好的時光，聊著天，吃著東西，開著玩笑。運用晨讀表格中的動作鏈技巧，把下面的語篇補充完整。

Inthemorning,as

scheduled,

1.

.

（雙胞胎早早起床，踞著腳走進廚房，從袋子里舀出面粉）Oncetheysetaboutmakingbread，theyfeltconfused.Atthattime，2.

，（他們的爸爸溜進廚房，輕拍雙胞胎的肩膀，柔聲安慰道）“Don’tquit.Youcan

overcomethechallenge.”

Thetwinsmadethebreadsmoothly.Then，3.

.

（他們端著早餐，向樓上走去，喊醒他們的媽媽）.Withhereyes

glittering

withexcitement,themotherwassocontentthat

shegatheredherchildrenintoherarms.

KEYS:Inthemorning,as

scheduled,

thetwinsgotupearly,tiptoedtothekitchenandscoopedsomeflourout

ofthebag.

Oncetheysetaboutmakingbread，theyfeltconfused.

Atthattime，theirfatherslidintothe

kitchen，patting

thetwins’

shouldersandcomforting

theminasoftvoice，“Don’tquit.Youcan

overcomethechallenge.”

Thetwinsmadethebreadsmoothly.Then

they

carriedthebreakfast，advanced

upstairsandwokeup

theirmother.

Withhereyes

glittering

withexcitement,themotherwassocontentthat

shegatheredherchildrenintoherarms.閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫,

使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。A

GIFTFORGRANDPAThesummervacationwascoming.JackandhisbrotherBerlinwerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofvisitingtheirgrandparentsagain.Thebigdaycameatlast.Afterthehappyfamilygotready,theysetoutforthegrandparents’homeeagerly.Ontheway,thebrotherswereexcitedlytalkingaboutthefuntheyhadwiththeirgrandparents.Alittlebluehousewithatallwhitechimneyfinallyappeared.BehindthepropertywastheforestcarryingtheirgoodmemorieswithGrandpa.Theyarrivedatthedriveway,attheendofwhichGrandpawaswaitingforthemjoyfully.JackandBerlineachgaveGrandmaabighugandthenswepttothelivingroom,shoutingexcitedly“Grandpa,weareback!”Seeinghisgrandsons,Grandpawaswildwithjoyandtriedtogetupwithallhisstrengthfromthechairbutinvain.Ahelplessexpressionflashedacrosshisface.Grandmaexplainedthathishealthwasdecliningrapidlyandthathemaybecouldn’tstanduponhisownforever.ButGrandpadeclaredstubbornly(倔強地),“Ican!”Certainly,hewasstuckinhisboyishway.MumandGrandparentswerehappytomeetagainafteralongtime.Theysattogetherandchattedaboutwhathappenedrecently.Thebrothersweresoonboredwithadultconversation,wentoutandwanderedintotheforest..Talltreesstretcheduptotheheavenswithlargebranchescrossingeachother,whileyoungonesrosestraightlikesoldiersGrandpawasonceagreatexplorerfullofwisdom.Hecouldtellwherethebirdscamefromonlybytheircallsandsongs.Thetrees,birds,lizards,lotsofbugs…HowmanymerrymomentstheyspentwithGrandpainthekingdom!ButnowGrandpacouldn’tgetup.Thismadethemworried.“Weneedtothinkoutawaytocheerhimup,”Jacksaid.“Grandpaisabirdlover,sowecancatchhimabird,”Berlinsuggested.“Buthehatesbirdsbeingcaged!”Jackshookhishead.ThenabrightideacametoJack’smind.“Whynotmakeacane(拐杖)outofayoungtree?!”注意：1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應為150左右；2.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；Paragraph1:Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.Paragraph2:JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa.

【語篇分析】1.

what（前文主旨）Jack和弟弟Berlin暑假期間去看望他們的爺爺奶奶。到那里后他們得知，爺爺因生病已經(jīng)無法起身。他的健康每況愈下，可能永遠站不起來了。但爺爺堅信自己能站起來。Jack和Berlin決定送爺爺一份禮物讓他開心。Jack想抓一只鳥給爺爺，可是擔心爺爺不喜歡鳥兒被關(guān)在籠中。他又想到可以用樹棍給爺爺做一個拐杖。2.

why（故事主題）關(guān)愛家人，直面挑戰(zhàn)，永不言棄。3.

how（寫作技巧）第三人稱、記敘、描寫4.

具體內(nèi)容（利用拉波夫敘事模式進行分析）點題:這篇文章自身有一個標題，讀者通過標題可以很清晰地獲取全文的主題Agiftforgrandpa。通過閱讀第一段可知，本章講述的是Jack和Berlin兩兄弟為爺爺準備禮物的經(jīng)過和結(jié)果。指向:本篇文章的指向就在前三段，時間是暑假的一天，地點就是在爺爺奶奶家,alittlebluehousewithatallwhitechimney，主要人物Jack和Berlin兩兄弟以及爺爺，次要人物是父母和奶奶。進展:本文的進展是Jack和弟弟Berlin在得知爺爺因病無法站立后，想辦法制作一個禮物給爺爺，讓爺爺開心，鼓勵爺爺樂觀地面對疾病和生活。結(jié)果/結(jié)局:結(jié)局部分是需要學生續(xù)寫的，通過文章的最后一句“Whynotmakeacane(拐杖)outofayoungtree?!”，再根據(jù)續(xù)寫第一段的首句“Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.”可知，兩兄弟就這一提議達成一致，開始為爺爺制作拐杖。他們做了什么？他們選擇了怎樣的樹？如何制作的，做好了嗎？根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段的首句“Jack

andBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa”可確定第二段的寫作思路——爺爺?shù)玫焦照群笙氲搅耸裁矗繝敔斈芊裼霉照日酒饋?？大家的感覺怎樣？評議:評議貫穿了材料全文。前四段中作者陸續(xù)用到excitement,eagerly,fun,joyfully,sweptto,shoutingexcitedly這些詞語來表現(xiàn)出兩兄弟對于爺爺?shù)南矏酆鸵缿俚那楦小５谒亩沃衱ildwithjoy也表現(xiàn)出了爺爺對兩兄弟感情的回應。同時，面對自己的疾病，作者用了stubbornly,stuckinhisboyishway來展現(xiàn)爺爺不服輸?shù)膭蓬^，也順理成章地為兩兄弟制作拐杖幫助爺爺站起來埋下了伏筆。5.

語言人物角色1：Jack性格：熱情，開朗，聰明，細心行為：擁抱奶奶、沖進客廳、大聲呼喚爺爺，拒絕抓鳥，提議制作拐杖心理：excited→

eagerly→

bored→

merry角色2：Berlin性格：熱情，開朗，樂于助人行為：擁抱奶奶、沖進客廳、大聲呼喚爺爺、建議抓鳥心理：excited→

eagerly→

bored→

merry角色3：Grandpa性格：堅強，倔強行為：努力站起來心理：helpless→

stubborn場景:爺爺家與爺爺奶奶見面；小樹林里制作拐杖語言風格:語言風格平實6.

情節(jié)沖突：爺爺見到孫子很開心想要站起來迎接，卻因病無法站立。行動：兩兄弟開始制作拐杖（續(xù)寫第一段）解決：兩兄弟將做好的拐杖送給爺爺，爺爺成功地站起來。（續(xù)寫第二段）伏筆：第六段提到爺爺曾是一名優(yōu)秀的森林探險家，為后文兩兄弟想到用樹枝制作拐杖埋下伏筆?！舅夭姆e累】Para4Sweeptothelivingroom沖進客廳Para5Invain徒勞無功Hewasstuckinhisboyishway.他有點孩子氣了。（他像個孩子一樣執(zhí)拗起來。）Para6HowmanymerrymomentstheyspentwithGrandpainthekingdom!

他們和爺爺在森林王國里度過了多少美好的時光啊！【參考范文】Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.

When

thetwobrothersreachedanagreement,theyquicklyranbacktotheirgrandparents’house,gotthetoolstheyneededtomakethecane,andranbacktothewoods.Jacksaid,“Whatkindoftreeshouldwepickforthewalkingstick?”Berlinthoughtforamomentandsaid,“Ithinkweshouldchooseastraighttree,