第2章如何構寫大綱和進行情節(jié)設計(上部)講義高考英語讀后續(xù)寫專題

一、寫大綱只需10句固定:P1P2首句+P1尾句+P2尾兩句寫大綱:十句五定法(5句有固定依據(jù))P1:Asthetuinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,their,fatherappeared.P2:Thetuinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.①接著P1(心理/動作鏈)⑥接著P2(心理/動作鏈)②⑦③⑧④⑨結局(緊貼首段/需求解決)⑤根據(jù)P2?升華(歸類+總結共性)舉例ThetwinswerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother'sDay.HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.TheyplannedtomakeFrenchtoastandchickenporridge.Theyhadwatchedtheirmotherinthekitchen.Therewasnothingtoit.JennaandJeffknewexactlywhattodo.Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a.m.Thepairwentdownthestairsquietlytothekitchen.Theydecidedtoboiltheporridgefirst.TheyputsomericeintoapotofwaterandleftittoboilwhiletheymadetheFrenchtoast.Jeffbroketwoeggsintoaplateandaddedinsomemilk.Jennafoundthebreadandputtwoslicesintotheeggmixture.Next,Jeffturnedonthesecondstoveburnertoheatupthefryingpan.EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeffstartedfryingthebread.Thepanwastoohotandthebreadturnedblackwithinseconds.Jennathrewtheburntpieceintothesinkandputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime,sheturneddownthefiresoitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteamshootingoutofthepotandthelidstartingtoshake.Thenextminute,theporridgeboiledoverandputoutthefire.Jennapanicked.Thankfully,Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegasquickly.Butthestovewasamessnow.JennatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff'shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.Thenshecaughtthesmellofburning.Ohdear!Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.第一步P1:Asthetuinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,their,fatherappeared.P2:Thetuinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.①接著P1(心理/動作鏈)Twins：害怕被責備+欣喜有救星father：理解⑥接著P2(心理/動作鏈)Twins:期待+忐忑；mother：驚喜+欣慰②⑦③⑧④⑨結局(緊貼首段/需求解決)問題解決（符合價值觀結局）⑤根據(jù)P2Cookedthebreakfast?升華(歸類+總結共性)價值觀/感嘆第二步P1:Asthetuinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,their,fatherappeared.P2:Thetuinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.①接著P1(心理/動作鏈)Twins：害怕被責備+欣喜有救星father：理解⑥接著P2(心理/動作鏈)Twins:期待+忐忑；mother：驚喜+欣慰②另外5句2個關鍵情節(jié)：P1爸爸幫忙做早餐+P2媽媽開心3個細節(jié)描寫：動作、語言環(huán)境⑦③⑧④⑨結局(緊貼首段/需求解決)問題解決（符合價值觀結局）⑤根據(jù)P2Cookedthebreakfast?升華(歸類+總結共性)價值觀/感嘆第三步P1:Asthetuinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,their,fatherappeared.P2:Thetuinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.①接著P1(心理/動作鏈)Twins：害怕被責備+欣喜有救星father：理解⑥接著P2(心理/動作鏈)Twins:期待+忐忑；mother：驚喜+欣慰②語言對話⑦關鍵情節(jié)同時空各個角色在做什么由角色特點決定③動作/環(huán)境Cleanthekitchen原文復現(xiàn)延伸⑧動作/語言/環(huán)境對話④關鍵環(huán)節(jié)由角色特點決定Fathercookedbreakfast；twinscleankitchen⑨結局(緊貼首段/需求解決)問題解決（符合價值觀結局）媽媽驚喜呼應原文復合價值觀結局⑤根據(jù)P2Cookedthebreakfast?升華(歸類+總結共性)價值觀/感嘆二情節(jié)設計情節(jié)設計|只需4步“NSDD”:N需求+D困難+S方法+D結局續(xù)寫情節(jié)設計1、“評卷員說”:情節(jié)設計原則“需求法”(NSDD)&歷年真題實戰(zhàn)情節(jié)設計素材:原文這三處[讀后續(xù)寫:情節(jié)設計|“需求法”NSDD]1、“評卷員說”:情節(jié)設計原則優(yōu)先等級:簡單.穩(wěn)妥>緊湊>豐富>故事性2、情節(jié)構思“需求法”(NSDD)(1)N需求+D困難+S方法+D結局(2)歷年真題，情節(jié)設計分析3.情節(jié)線索:看原文這3處串聯(lián)大意5W1H+P1P2首句,定事件走向(2)劃關鍵詞(角色特點、關鍵情節(jié))各類描寫占比，續(xù)寫比例與其一致聽評卷員說”:●“語法、時態(tài)、拼寫、標點、大小寫、敘述連貫性等方面的錯誤率都與學生讀后續(xù)寫的成績存在不同程度的正相關性。”“普遍存在情節(jié)不嚴密，詞匯較低級，句式變化少等情況”“...續(xù)寫內容才能與原文融洽，連貫...”“最后附上閱卷實際操作評分標準，主要依據(jù)為是否有正確的句子，原則上就高不就低。20分:內容順，細節(jié)比較多，允許些許錯誤。18分:內容順，細節(jié)少些，語言有些錯誤。15分:內容可讀，語言錯誤多。10分:內容基本完整,基本沒什么完整的句子?！钡囊?續(xù)寫情節(jié)設計，優(yōu)先順序:“嚴密、融洽、連貫”簡單.穩(wěn)妥>緊湊>豐富>故事性總結:情節(jié)設計的任務為“簡單穩(wěn)妥”。◆其他維度可通過詞匯、句式、連接詞、各類描寫來實現(xiàn):●緊湊性:情節(jié)推進+連接成分(邏輯連詞+副詞+介詞短語)●豐富性:各類描寫、詞匯、句式●故事性:多讀英語小故事，了解文化，熟悉常見情節(jié)續(xù)寫情節(jié)設計，優(yōu)先順序:如何做到簡單穩(wěn)妥？那就要“嚴密、融洽、連貫”從而貼緊原文，找線索[讀原文:5WP1P2+角色特點+描寫占比]第一件事:串聯(lián)首尾段5W1H+P1P2給定句,定事件走向(1)讀首段得知:人物+大致事件(2)讀尾段得知:具體事件+態(tài)度(3)讀P1P2給定句得知:故事結局走向2.第二件事:劃出關鍵詞(角色特點、關鍵情節(jié))劃出角色相關描寫(adj/v/n):用來續(xù)寫角色，改寫關鍵詞劃出矛盾/需求、關鍵情節(jié):用來續(xù)寫情節(jié)，甚至是“升華3、觀察各類描寫占比，續(xù)寫比例與其一致(1)看各類描寫:續(xù)寫時盡量占比一致(2)語法句式:盡量保持一致，也可模仿好句用表格規(guī)劃思路構思前：讀原文3件事（5WP1P2+角色+描寫）Who關鍵詞動作：v情緒/心理：adj特點：n./短語角色1角色2角色3What關鍵句P1P2關鍵句3W1H平常寫作訓練時，可以以此表格梳理思路在考場上可以直接在原文標記短故事情節(jié)設計法(短故事情節(jié):shortstoryplots]MaincharacterCharacter2SettingSituationThemeCharacteractionExpositionConflictRisingsacionClimaxFallingactionResolutionStoryElementsStoryelementsarethepieces,oringredients,thatwhenputtogether,makeupanarrativestory.ldentifyingandrememberingstoryelementswillhelpyouunderstandastorybetter.StoryElementsInclude:Characterspeople/animalsinthestorySettingwhen/wherethestorytakesplaceproblemtheconflict,ormainproblem,thatthecharactershaveSolutionhowtheproblemissolved讀后續(xù)寫:情節(jié)設計|“需求法”NSDD簡化表格進行情節(jié)設計Needs需求重點看：首尾段+P1P2給定句也可理解為：寫作者要寫到的內容Difficulty困難、障礙設置困難原文中找沖突、障礙（5W1H+角色特點）Solution行動、方法大轉機：通常在P1/P2首句原文：所有角色/事物Denouement結局(需求解決)需求被解決（復合價值觀結局）升華感悟平常寫作訓練時，可以以此表格設計情節(jié)在考場上可以直接在原文標記歷年考題情節(jié)分析：需求結局困難方法：借助他人或他物年份主題需求Needs結局Denouement困難Difficulties方法和媒介Solutions2021.6全國1卷母親節(jié)驚喜做早餐做好了早餐不會做，廚房亂爸爸幫忙2021.6浙江卷暑期打工處理掙到的錢處理了錢:將掙到的錢給了父親作者不情愿貢獻辛苦掙到的錢父親的辛勞和擔心，觸動了我2021.1浙江卷卡南瓜視頻在網(wǎng)絡走紅得救，視頻在網(wǎng)絡傳播開來視頻在網(wǎng)絡傳播開來獲得關注被南瓜卡住無法自救爸爸媽媽幫忙，視頻傳上網(wǎng)絡2020.7浙江卷拍攝北極熊,對峙，遇險脫險脫險救援直升機30分鐘才到用辣椒噴霧擊退熊;救援趕到2020.7山東卷救助窮人助人助人沒錢賣爆米花賺錢，路人購買2020.1浙江卷浙江卷讓小狗開心小狗開心，家庭團聚小狗想念男孩，但他上大學未歸父母買新小狗,作伴，男孩回來真題實戰(zhàn)Onefall,mywifeElliandIhadasinglegoal:tophotographpolarbears.Wewerestayingatаresearchcampoutsidethepolarbearcapitaloftheteardownthefencewithhismassivepaws.world"thetownofChurchillinManitoba,Canada.Takingpicturesofpolarbearsisamazingbutalsodangerous.Polarbearslikeallwildanimalsshouldbephotographedfromаsafedistance.WhenI'mfacetofacewithapolarbear,Ilikeittobethroughacamerawithatelephotolens.Butsometimes,thatiseasiersaidthandone.Thiswasoneofthosetimes.AsElliandIcookeddinner,ayoungmalepolarbearwhowasplayinginanearbylakesniffed,andsmelledourgarlicbread.Thehungrybearfollowedhisnosetoourcamp,whichwassurroundedbyahighwirefence.Hepulledandbitthewire.HestoodonhisbacklegsandP1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktopushedatthewoodenfenceposts.Terrified,ElliandItriedallthebeardefenseactionsweknew.Weyelledatthebear,hitpotshard,andfiredblankshotgunshellsintotheair.Sometimesloudnoiseslikethesewillscarebearsoff.Notthispolarbearthoughhejustkepttryingtoresearchcampoutsidethepolarbearcapitaloftheteardownthefencewithhismassivepaws.Iradioedthecampmanagerforhelp.Hetoldmeahelicopterwasonitsway,butitwouldbe30minutesbeforeitarrived.Makingthebestofthiscloseencounter,Itooksomepicturesofthebear.ElliandIfearedthefencewouldn'tlastthrough30moreminutesofthebearspunishment.ThecampmanagersuggestedIusepepperspray.Thesprayburnsthebears'eyes,butdoesn'thurtthem.SoIapproachedouruninvitedguestslowlyand,throughthefence,sprayedhimintheface.Withanangryroarthebearrantothelaketowashhiseyes.[2020年7月浙江卷]P1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.原文找:5W1H所有人物+特點+描寫占比Onefall,mywifeElliandIhadasinglegoal:tophotographpolarbears.Wewerestayingataresearchcampoutside“thepolarbearcapitaloftheworld”thetownofChurchillinManitoba,Canada.Takingpicturesofpolarbearsisamazingbutalsodangerous.Polarbearslikeallwildanimalsshouldbephotographedfromasafedistance.WhenI'mfacetofacewithapolarbear,Ilikeittobethroughacamerawithatelephotolens.Butsometimes,thatiseasiersaidthandone.Thiswasoneofthosetimes.某個秋天，我和妻子EIli有個目標:拍攝北極熊。我們住在“世界北極熊之都”加拿大馬尼托巴省丘吉爾鎮(zhèn)外的一個調研營地。給北極熊拍照很神奇，但也很危險。北極熊和所有野生動物一樣應該在安全距離內拍照。當我與北極熊面對面時，我喜歡用帶有長焦鏡頭的相機。但有時，說起來容易做起來難。這是其中之一。AsElliandIcookeddinner,ayoungmalepolarbearwhowasplayinginanearbylakesniffed,andsmelledourgarlicbread.5W1H所有人/物+特點+描寫占比Thehungrybearfollowedhisnosetoourcamp,whichwassurroundedbyahighwirefence.Hepulledandbitthewire.Hestoodonhisbacklegsandpushedatthewoodenfenceposts.Terrified,ElliandItriedallthebeardefenseactionsweknew.Weyelledatthebear',hitpotshard,andfiredblankshotgunshellsintotheair.Sometimesloudnoiseslikethesewillscarebearsoff.Notthispolarbearthough—hejustkepttryingtoteardownthefencewithhismassivepaws.當Elli和我做晚飯時，一只年輕的雄性北極熊在附近湖里玩耍,它嗅.和聞到了我們大蒜面包的味道。.饑餓的熊順著鼻子來到我們的營地，營地被高高的鐵絲網(wǎng)包圍。他拉扯并咬住了電線，用后腿站立，推木柵欄柱子。Elli和我嚇壞了，試了所知的所有防熊行動。我們對著熊大喊大叫，用力擊打罐子，并向空中發(fā)射空彈。有時這種響亮的聲音會嚇跑熊。然而對這只北極熊無.效他只是不停地用大爪子試圖推倒柵欄。Iradioedthecampmanagerforhelp.Hetoldmeahelicopterwasonitsway,butitwouldbe30minutesbeforeitarrived.Makingthebestofthiscloseencounter,Itooksomepicturesofthebear.ElliandIfearedthefencewouldn'tlastthrough30minutesofthebear'spunishment.ThecampmanagersuggestedIusepepperspray.Thesprayburnsthebears'eyes,butdoesn'thurtthem.SoIapproachedouruninvitedguestslowlyand,throughthefence,sprayedhimintheface.Withanangryroar(吼叫),thebearrantothelaketowashhiseyes.我用無線電向營地經(jīng)理尋求幫助。他告訴我一架直升飛機，在路上了，但30分鐘后才能到。充分利用這次近距離接觸，我拍了一些熊的照片。EIli和我擔心圍欄在熊的暴行下，無法扛多30分鐘。營地經(jīng)理建議我用胡椒噴霧。噴霧會灼傷熊的眼睛，但不會傷害它們。于是我慢慢走近這不速之throughthefence,sprayedhiminthe客,穿過柵欄，朝他臉上噴過去。熊怒吼一聲，跑到湖邊洗眼睛。NSDD分析N需求：首位12段+P1P2給定句脫險：對抗怒熊30分鐘我們：拍照熊：吃食物D困難：5W1H+角色特點怒熊：兇悍難纏武器：只能用普通物品S法方：等直升機Elli采取行動噴霧+面包D結局：需求解決+呼應原文脫險：直升機來營救我們完成拍照熊沖破柵欄獲得美食[填入原文線索,情節(jié)僅需補23句]N需求:脫險,對抗熊30分鐘;驚險時刻(線索在:首尾段+P1/P2給定句)D困難:熊兇猛;武器只能用普通物品(線索在:5w1H+角色特點)S方法:等直升機;Elli行動;噴霧+面包(線索在:P1/P2給定句+角色事物)D結局:登機脫險熊破柵欄吃食物我拍照(線索在:需求解決+呼應原文)P1:Aferuminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.①意識到噴霧無用，熊更兇狠②我害怕，不知咋辦③Elli行動,扔面包④行動有用，熊跑去吃面包⑤熊吃完又折回，驚險時刻⑥我們開心，得救(心理+語言)⑦登直升機脫險(動作+心理)⑧俯瞰營地，發(fā)現(xiàn)驚人一幕⑨熊終于沖破柵欄吃食物⑩我拍照，心想:“熊得逞了!N需求:脫險,對抗熊30分鐘;驚險時刻(線索在:首尾段+P1/P2給定句)D困難:熊兇猛;武器只能用普通物品(線索在:5w1H+角色特點)S方法:等直升機;Elli行動;噴霧+面包(線索在:P1/P2給定句+角色事物)D結局:登機脫險熊破柵欄吃食物我拍照(線索在:需求解決+呼應原文)P1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.Thenwerealizedthatthesprayhadonlyangeredhimevenmore,forheseemedmuchfiercerthistimeandviolentlypushedthefencelikemad.Myheartracedwildly,notknowingwhattodo.Atthiscriticalmoment,Elligrabbedseveralpiecesofgarlicbreadandthrewthemoverthefence.Itworked!Thebearstoppedtheattackandrantothebread.Butitwasn'tlongbeforeheateupallthebreadandcamebackagain.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.“Thankgoodnesswearesaved!"Ellicriedout.Oncethehelicopterlanded,wegotontoitinnotime,excitedandrelieved.Whenweweresafeonthehelicopterupintheair,Iwasamazedtospotthatthebearhadfinallytorndownthefenceandrantowardsthefoodweleftbehind.Iquicklytookoutthecameraandphotographedtherarescene一we