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一座山,兩條魚
--continuationwriting親情類:Adam偷玩具車1.Readthestory2.Predictthestory3.Writethestory目錄Warmingup
Yellow&RedFrogWatchavideoabouttwolarvas[?lɑ?v?](幼蟲)andanswerquestions.Q1:What’simportantforastoryQ2:What’simportantforwritingastory(/continuationwriting)characterplottheme(葛文山,2022)LeadinQ1:What’simportantforastoryQ2:What’simportantforwritingastory(/continuationwriting)(衡很亨,2023)characterplotthemecharacterportraitplotdesignthemeexposition1Readthestory閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。OncetherewasalittleboycalledAdamwhocamefromarichfamily.Hewasayoungstudentatprimaryschoolandwasveryclever.Healwaysgainedgoodmarksinhisexams.Adamgoteverythinghewanted,suchastoycars,airplanemodels,watergunsandsoon.Hisparentsboughthimwhateverhewanted.Onedayhewentouttoastorewithhismotherandinthetoysectionhefoundaverycooltoycar.Hewassurprisedtoseethatkindoftoycar,soherantohismotherandtoldhereverythingaboutit.Adamtookhismothertothetoysectiontoshowhowitworked.However,hismotherrefusedtobuyitforhimbecausehealreadyhadalotoftoycars.Adamwassadandwonderedwhyhismotherdidnotbuyitforhim.Twoweekslater,Adamandhismotherwenttothesamestoreagain.Adamthoughtthathismotherwouldbuyitforhimthistime,soheaskedhismotherforthetoycaragain.Hismotherignoredhimbecauseshewaslookingforsomethingelse.ButAdamreallywantedthetoycar.So,whilehismotherwasbusylookingforsomeotheritems,hetookthetoycarandputitinsidehisbackpack.ThesalesmansawAdamstealingthetoycarandtriedtostophim.Adamtriedtorunbutthesalesmancaughthim.Adamstartedtocry.Hismotherheardhisvoiceandrantohim.Shewasshockedtoseethesalesmanholdingherson.注意:1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;2.請(qǐng)按照如下格式在相應(yīng)位置作答。“Whathappened”sheaskedwithconcern.________________________________________________________________________________________________Aftertheygothome,Adamwenttohisroomandregrettedhavingdonethat.________________________________________________________________________________________________1.閱讀全文,確定背景(Readforsetting)Ayoungandcleverboy(Adam),Adam’smother,thesalesmanoneday;twoweekslater(過去時(shí))inthestorehomeAdamlivedinarichfamilyandgainedgoodmarksinexams.Adamgoteverythinghewanted.time(When)place(Where)character(Who)
background(What)setting2.畫故事山,構(gòu)情節(jié)線和情感線(Readforplotsandemotions)risingactionfallingactionendingplotsbeginningemotionsclimaxMom
whathappened.Adam’smom_______tobuythetoycar.Twoweekslater,hismother______himagain.Adamwenttohisroomand
havingdonethat.Adam
thetoycar,triedto
butthesalesman
him.Adam:sadAdam:desperateAdam:scaredandcriedMom:concernedAdam:regrettedrefusedignoredstolenruncaughtaskedregretted2Predictthestory3.根據(jù)故事山,預(yù)測情節(jié)和主題(Predicttheplotsandtheme)risingactionfallingactionendingplotsbeginningMom
askedwhathappened.Adam’smomrefusedtobuythetoycar.Twoweekslater,hismotherignoredhimagain.Adamstolenthetoycar,triedtorunbutthesalesmancaughthim.Adamwenttohisroomandregrettedhavingdonethat.emotionsclimax銜接句Adam:regrettedAdam:sadAdam:desperateAdam:scaredandcriedMom:concerned主題句Paragraph1:“Whathappened”sheaskedwithconcern.Paragraph2:Aftertheygothome,Adamwenttohisroomandregrettedhavingdonethat.銜接句1.Whoanswered2.Beforetheygothome,whatdidtheydo1.Whathappenedintheroom2.WhyAdamregrettedandhowtoshow3.WhatwillAdamdonexttime3.根據(jù)故事山,預(yù)測情節(jié)和主題(Predicttheplotsandtheme)主題句回應(yīng)前文/點(diǎn)出主題·偷東西是絕對(duì)錯(cuò)誤的。It’sabsolutelywrongtostealthings.·反思并承認(rèn)錯(cuò)誤,吸取教訓(xùn)。Reflectandadmitthemistake.Learnfromthelesson.·該怎么做?--結(jié)合家庭實(shí)際,判斷是需要還是想要?樹立正確的金錢觀。Wecan’tbuyanythingwewant,instead,weshouldbuysomethingwereallyneed.3.根據(jù)故事山,預(yù)測情節(jié)和主題(Predicttheplotsandtheme)口訣:兩段首句定一框,二框二首正能量銜接句主題句Aftertheygothome,Adamwenttohisroomandregrettedhavingdonethat.“Whathappened”sheaskedwithconcern.Step1:MaincontentsofPara2andpositiveending.Step2:MaincontentsofPara1.售貨員回答事情經(jīng)過,歸還玩具?;丶衣飞?,母親與兒子交流?!癓et’sgohomeandseehowmanytoycarsyouhavealreadyowned”.回家后,兒子主動(dòng)承認(rèn)錯(cuò)誤,向母親道歉,并從中得到教訓(xùn)。母親原諒兒子。4.DraftforwritingSalesmanexplainedreturnedthetoyMomaskedwhyMomwasangryMomscoldedAdamreplied“Whathappened”sheaskedwithconcern.Para1銜接句wantedthetoycardesperatelyindetailsquicklywhyhedidthatAdamloweredhishead,inshameonthewaybackhome,seriously一個(gè)角色的所言、所行、所感、所想會(huì)引起其他角色的一系列反應(yīng)。ActionResponse主題句AdamreflectedMomforgivedAdamlearnedAdamapologizedMomeducatedAdam’sthoughtAftertheygothome,Adamwenttohisroomandregrettedhavingdonethat.Para2nottostealbuythings:whetherneeditorwantitthinkwhydidtoldnottodoagainforstealingitisnotright一個(gè)角色的所言、所行、所感、所想會(huì)引起其他角色的一系列反應(yīng)。4.DraftforwritingActionResponse3Writethestory評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)參考Tipsforwriting口訣:人物時(shí)態(tài)和事件,語言特色不要變Tip1:58細(xì)節(jié)添加法Tip2:Toshow,nottotell.(王初明“寫長法”)Tip3:語言協(xié)同:創(chuàng)造性的模仿(原文風(fēng)格)Tip1forwriting口訣:人物時(shí)態(tài)和事件,語言特色不要變58細(xì)節(jié)添加法Tip2forwritingToshowin3aspects:①Bodylanguage②Facialexpression③Voice?Toshow,nottotell.(王初明“寫長法”)Telling:Hefeltashamed.他很羞愧。Showing:bodylanguage+facialexpression肢體語言+面部表情Hearingwhattheysaid,hewassoashamedthathedroppedhiseyesandstaredathisfeet,withhisfaceturningred.聽到他們的話,他羞愧的低下頭,盯著腳,臉紅起來了。Tip2forwritingToshow,nottotell.(王初明“寫長法”)Tip3forwriting語言協(xié)同:創(chuàng)造性的模仿(原文風(fēng)格)原文:·However,hismotherrefusedtobuyitforhimbecausehealreadyhadalotoftoycars.·Hismotherignoredhimbecauseshewaslookingforsomethingelse.寫作:·Adamrepliedthatjustbecausehewantedthetoycardesperately.·HismotherforgavehimandtoldAdamnottodothatagainbecauseitisnotrighttostealanything.小試身手請(qǐng)你將自己的習(xí)作寫在題目的橫線上。Paragraph1:“Whathappened”sheaskedwithconcern.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:Aftertheygothome,Adamwenttohisroomandregrettedhavingdonethat.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________參考范文Paragraph1:“Whathappened”sheaskedwithconcern.ThenthesalesmantoldAdam’smotherindetailsaboutwhatthelittleboyhaddone.Adam’smotherwasveryangrywith
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