2024年11月稽陽聯(lián)考讀后續(xù)寫分析講義-高三上學(xué)期英語一輪復(fù)習(xí)專項

2024年11月稽陽聯(lián)考讀后續(xù)寫解析和范文閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。Isat.Heglaredatme.“YoucangiveittomeorIcantakeit,yourchoice.Whatwillitbe?”Ipulledthepackageofhairribbonsoutofthepocketofmyjeans,handedittohimandbegged,“You’renotgoingtocallmydad,areyou?”“I’mcallingthepolice.Theywillcallyourfather.”MyheaddroppedontomyhandsandIsobbed,“No,please!Can’tyoujustletmego?Icanpayyou.Ihavemoneyinmypocket.I’monlyfourteenyearsold.Please,Iwon’tevershopliftagain!”“Saveyourtears.Theywon’tworkonme.I’msickofyoubadkidsstealing,justforthethrillofit.”微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanIsatthere,tremblinguncontrollably.Thepreviousexcitementbroughtbystealinglipstick,teenmagazineandallthatstuff...nowgavewaytoimmensefearandshame.Thepolicearrived,andthepolicemenwalkedmetotheirblackandwhitecarandopenedthebackdoor.Igotin,andtheydrovemethroughthemiddleofoursmalltown.IsloucheddownintotheseatsonoonecouldseemeasIlookedoutthewindowattheeveningsky.ThenIsawthesteeple(尖塔)ofmyfamily’schurch,andtheguiltpiercedmelikeadagger.“HowcouldIhavebeensostupid?I’vebrokenmyfather’sheart...andGod’s,”thoughtI.Wearrivedatthestation,andaroundwomanwithasquarefaceaskedmequestionsuntilIranoutofanswers.Shepointedtothedoorofalargeopencellandsaid,“Sit.Wait.”Iwalkedin,andmyfootstepsmadeanechothatbouncedoffthebars.ThetearsstartedagainasIsatdownonahardbenchandheardherdialthetelephoneandsay,“Ihaveyourdaughterinacellatthepolicestation.No,she’snothurt.Shewascaughtshopping.Canyoueandgether?Okay.You’rewele,goodbye.”Sheyelled,“Heykid,yourfather’sonhisway.”注意：1．續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2．請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Aboutonehundredyearslater,Iheardhisvoicesaymyname.Afterwearrivedhome,Dadfinallyaskedme,“Why?”文本分析很多同學(xué)拿到文章就急著寫，就想可以用哪一些華麗的句式和詞匯，忽略了文章的背景和前提，常常文章情節(jié)就上下文不一致，這樣分?jǐn)?shù)基本不高。10分出頭的樣子。所以一定要多花幾分鐘看文章。微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanIpulledthepackageofhairribbonsoutofthepocketofmyjeans,handedittohimandbegged,“You’renotgoingtocallmydad,areyou?”Thepreviousexcitementbroughtbystealinglipstick,teenmagazineandallthatstuff...nowgavewaytoimmensefearandshame.從上面兩句的文字可以看出主角的父親應(yīng)該是對于女兒的偷竊行為是不知情的。而且主角之前還偷過一些唇膏，雜志，還有這次的發(fā)飾，偷這一些東西主要是為了刺激。IsloucheddownintotheseatsonoonecouldseemeasIlookedoutthewindowattheeveningsky.ThenIsawthesteeple(尖塔)ofmyfamily’schurch,andtheguiltpiercedmelikeadagger.微信公眾號ClassroomMissYan這邊點(diǎn)明了事情發(fā)生的時間是evening,而且這邊有出現(xiàn)church這個意向，可以很好的作為主角反省，自我改變的一個意象。具體可以參考O’Henry的《警察和贊美詩》的結(jié)局部分描寫（附在后面），可以參考一下。Shepointedtothedoorofalargeopencellandsaid,“Sit.Wait.”Iwalkedin,andmyfootstepsmadeanechothatbouncedoffthebars.這邊的cell是指牢房，bars是指牢房的鐵欄桿，主角是被關(guān)進(jìn)了牢房。很多學(xué)生在這里理解錯誤了。“Ihaveyourdaughterinacellatthepolicestation.No,she’snothurt.Shewascaughtshopping.Canyoueandgether?Okay.You’rewele,goodbye.”從“no,sheisnothurt”這句話看出來她的父親問的第一句話是“isshehurt?”所以這是一個關(guān)心女兒的父親，沒有第一時間責(zé)備女兒，而且馬上人就來警局也可以看出是關(guān)心在意女兒的好父親形象。有不少同學(xué)一上來就責(zé)備女兒，這就跟原文不一致了。但是女兒應(yīng)該是覺得父親是要責(zé)備她的，這邊可以形成一個反差，進(jìn)一步感化主角?？偨Y(jié)：文章線索比較清晰，但是很多細(xì)節(jié)學(xué)生沒有注意，注意力都集中在描寫各種心理等，導(dǎo)致前后不一致，無效描寫。立意可能也會產(chǎn)生偏差或者過于膚淺。寫一寫，打個樣：Aboutonehundredyearslater,Iheardhisvoicesaymyname.Huddlingmyselfintheshadowofthecell,itriedtomakemyselfinvisible.Hemustbereallydisappointedandexasperateatme.Nevertheless,therewasnothingbutconcerninhisvoice.Asthesquarefacedofficeropenedthedoorofthecell,hescrutinizedmethoroughly,checkingifihadtheslightestinjury.Asuddenwaveofwarmthmingledwithinfiniteguiltyfloodedmyheart.Tearschokedallthewordsofexplanationandapology,soijustsilentlyfollowedmyfatheruntilhebailedmeoutandtookmeoutofpolicestation.Despitenumerousquestionsandwordsonbothofourminds,thewholeridebackhomewasinawkwardsilence.(113)微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanAfterwearrivedhome,Dadfinallyaskedme,“Why?” Withhistremblingvoicefilledwithselfblamebreakingtheice,icouldnothelpreflectingonhowigotwhereiwasdefinitelynotbecauseofmylackofmoneyorlove,itwasjustabitrebellionwhichcouldbringmeahintofthrill.However,nevercouldiimagineitcouldhavesuchseriousconsequence.Noexcusecouldcoverupthewrongihaddone.“Iamsorry,dad...imadeamistake.”Iconfessed.Thepunishmentithoughtitotallydeserveddidn’te.Instead,ireceivedawarmandforgivinghug.AsIlookedoutofthewindow,steepleofmyfamily’schurchrevealeditselfinthegentlemoonlight,settinguparesolutioninsidemethatiwasgoingtomakeabetterpersonofmyself.(128)參考范文Onepossibleversion:Aboutonehundredyearslater,Iheardhisvoicesaymyname.Itwassoft,yetfilledwithamixofdisappointmentandconcern.Thenthewomancalledmeuptothedeskatthreetimesthenecessaryvolume.IkeptmyeyesonthefloorasIwalkedtowardthem.Isawmydad’sshoes,butIdidn’tspeaktohimorlookathim.Hesignedsomepapersandwewereallowedtoleave.Theairwasdarkandcoldaswewalkedtothecarinheavysilence.Thenhewhisperedinasadandfarawayvoice,“Mydaughter...athief...”Imeltedintoregretfultears.Themileshomefeltlikeforever.微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanAfterwearrivedhome,Dadfinallyaskedme,“Why?”ItoldhimaboutthefirsttimeIstoleatubeoflipstickandhowIfeltequalamountsofthrillandguilt.Then,gradually,theguiltfadedasthethrillgrew.HottearsbitmyfaceasIsaid,“Pleaseforgiveme.I’llneverdoitagain.”DadrequiredmetomakealistofalltheplacesIstolefromandgotorepaytheowners.Thenextmorning,Ididexactlyasheasked.Itwasimpossiblyhard,butIdidit.Thankstohiscourage,Ineverstoleagain.歐亨利小說欣賞OnhisbenchinMadisonSquareSoapymoveduneasily,andherealizedthefactthatthetimehadeforhimtoprovideagainsttheingwinter.ThewinterambitionsofSoapywerenotofthehighest.InthemtherewerenodreamsofMediterraneanvoyagesorblueSouthernskies.ThreemonthsontheIslandwaswhathissouldesired.Threemonthsofassuredboardandbedandgoodpany,safefromnorthwindsseemedtoSoapythemostdesirablething.微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanJustasthemorefortunateNewYorkershadboughttheirticketstoPalmBeacheachwinter,SoapyhadmadehisarrangementsforhisannualjourneytotheIsland.Andnowthetimehade.ThereweremanyinstitutionsofcharityinNewYorkwherehemightreceivelodgingandfood,buttoSoapy’sproudspiritthegiftsofcharitywereundesirable.Youmustpayinhumiliationofspiritforeverythingreceivedatthehandsofmercy.Soitwasbettertobeaguestofthelaw.微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanSoapy,havingdecidedtogototheIsland,atoncesetaboutacplishinghisdesire.HelefthisbenchandwentupBroadway.Hestoppedatthedoorofaglitteringcafe.Hewasshavenandhiscoatwasdecent.Ifhecouldreachatableintherestaurant,theportionofhimthatwouldshowabovethetablewouldraisenodoubtinthewaiter’smind.Aroastedduck,withabottleofwine,acigarandacupofcoffeewouldbeenough.Suchadinnerwouldmakehimhappy,forthejourneytohiswinterrefuge.ButasSoapyenteredtherestaurantdoor,theheadwaiter’seyefelluponhisshabbytrousersandoldshoes.Stronghandspushedhiminsilenceandhasteoutintothestreet.Someotherwayofenteringthedesirablerefugemustbefound.AtacornerofSixthAvenueSoapytookastoneandsentitthroughtheglassofaglitteringshopwindow.Peoplecamerunningaroundthecorner,apolicemanattheheadofthem.Soapystoodstill,withhishandsinhispockets,andsmiledatthesightofthepoliceman.“Whereisthemanthathasdonethat?”askedthepoliceman.“Don’tyouthinkthatIhavehadsomethingtodowithit?”saidSoapy,friendly.ThepolicemanpaidnoattentiontoSoapy.Menwhobreakwindowsdon’tremaintospeakwithpolicemen.Theyrunaway.Hesawamanrunningandrushedafterhim,stickinhand.Soapy,disgusted,walkedalong,twiceunsuccessful.微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanOntheoppositesideofthestreetwasarestaurantforpeoplewithlargeappetitesandmodestpurses.Soapyenteredthisplacewithoutdifficulty.Hesatatatableandatebeefsteakandpie.Andthenhetoldthewaiterhehadnomoney.“Goandcallacop,”saidSoapy.“Anddon’tkeepagentlemanwaiting.”“Nocopforyou,”saidthewaiter.“Hey!”ThenSoapyfoundhimselflyinguponhisleftearonthepavement.Herosewithdifficulty,andbeatthedustfromhisclothes.Arrestseemedarosydream.TheIslandseemedfaraway.Afteranotherunsuccessfulattempttobearrestedforharassingayoungwoman,Soapywentfurthertowardthedistrictoftheatres.微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanWhenhesawapolicemanstandinginfrontofaglitteringtheatre,hethoughtof“disorderlyconduct”.OnthesidewalkSoapybegantosingdrunkensongsatthetopofhisvoice.Hedanced,cried,andotherwisedisturbedthepeace.ThepolicemanturnedhisbacktoSoapy,andsaidtoacitizen,“ItisoneoftheYaleboyscelebratingtheirfootballvictory.Noisy,butnoharm.”微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanSadly,Soapystoppedhisuselesssinginganddancing.TheIslandseemedunattainable.Hebuttonedhisthincoatagainstthenorthwind.Inacigarstorehesawawelldressedmanwhohadsethissilkumbrellabythedoor.Soapyenteredthestore,tooktheumbrella,andwentoutwithitslowly.Themanwiththecigarfollowedhastily.“Myumbrella,”hesaid.“Oh,isit?”saidSoapy.“Well,whydon’tyoucallapoliceman?Itookyourumbrella!Whydon’tyoucallacop?Therestandsoneonthecorner.”Theumbrellaownerslowedhissteps.Soapydidlikewise.Thepolicemanlookedatthemcuriously.“Ofcourse,”saidtheumbrellaman,“well,youknowhowthesemistakesoccur…ifit’syourumbrellaIhopeyou’llexcuseme–Ipickeditupthismorninginarestaurant–ifit’syours,Ihopeyou’ll…”“Ofcourseit’smine,”saidSoapy.微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanTheexumbrellamanretreated.Thepolicemanhurriedtohelpawelldressedwomanacrossthestreet.Soapythrewtheumbrellaangrily.Hewasangrywiththemenwhowearhelmetsandcarryclubs.Theyseemedtoregardhimasakingwhocoulddonowrong.AtlastSoapystoppedbeforeanoldchurchona