《英語寫作教程（第一冊）》課件L6 conciseness,emphasis an variety

CONTENTS01Sentenceconciseness02Sentenceemphasis03SentencevarietyAreTheseSentencesConcise?Withregardtothefactthatourenvironmentispolluted,membersofCongressshoulddraftandconsequentlyenactlawsthatprohibitpollutioninournation.Inmypinion,Ithinkyouareagoodstudent.1.SentenceConcisenessnounnecessarywordsWaystoachieveconciseness—eliminateunnecessarywords—avoidunnecessaryrepetition—reduceclausestoparticiples,phrasestosinglewords(1)EliminatingunnecessarywordsTherearemanyfactorsthatinfluencedhisdecisiontobecomeateacher.(deadwood:takingupspaceandaddnothingtomeaning)Revised:Manyfactorsinfluencedhisdecisiontobecomeateacher.2.Theregistrationsituationwasdisorganized.(utilitywords:actingasafillerandcontributingnothingtothemeaning;factor,situation,aspect,good,

bad,important,actually,very,definitely)Revised:

Theregistrationwasdisorganized.3.OneofmyclosepersonalfriendswholivesinthecityofNewYorkatthepresenttimeisunderconsiderationmovinghisresidencetoChicagoforthereasonthathehasbeenofferedapositioninthatmetropolis.(circumlocution:takingaroundaboutwaytosaysomething)Revised:OneofmyfriendsinNewYorkisconsideringmovingtoChicagobecausehehasbeenofferedajobthere.

WordyConciseAtthepresenttimeNowAtthispointintimeNowDuetothefactthatBecauseIntheeventthatIfInthevicinityofNearv4.Itisimportanttolearnthetruefactsbeforewego.Revised:

Itisimportanttolearnthefactsbeforewego.

5.Dr.Schiemdhascuredmanypatients.JackwasoneofDr.Schiemd’smostchallengingcases.

Revised:Dr.Schiemdhascuredmanypatients.Jackwasoneofhismostchallengingcases.(2)Eliminatingunnecessaryrepetition6.Hespokeinaconfidentmannerandwithalotofauthority.(3)Reducingclausestoparticiples,phrasestosinglewords,orchangesentencestructures6.Hespokeinaconfidentmannerandwithalotofhappiness.

Revised:

Hespokeconfidentlyandhappily.7.Sometimesthereisanaccumulationofwaterontheroof.

Revised:Sometimeswateraccumulatesontheroof.Turntopage117andfinishthepracticeinclass.2.SentenceEmphasisEmphasisisareflectionofpurposes.Effectivesentencesemphasizethemainideas,makingthemforceful,andkeepingrelatedbutlessimportantideasinthebackground.WaystoAchieveEmphasis—a.emphasisthroughwordorder—b.emphasisthroughsentencestructure—c.emphasisthroughchoiceofwords—d.emphasisthroughpunctuationmarksEmphasisthroughwordorder8.Amy

ismodestandhardworkingandisagoodstudent.(Beginningwithimportantideas)

Revised:Modestandhardworking,Amy

isagoodstudent.9.Thereis(Weakeningthesentence)aheavyemphasisonthedevelopmentofcomputationalskillsatMIT.(Endingwithimportantideas)

Revised:MITplacesheavyemphasisonthedevelopmentofcomputationalskills.ONPICTURE10.Readingcanbringyouknowledge,friendsandarichlife.11.Bingedrinkingcanleadtounwantedpregnancies,caraccidentsandevendeath.Climacticwordorder:fromtheleasttothemostimportantusi(b)Emphasisthroughsentencestructure12.Inrushedthenoisychildren.(Usinginvertedsentences)13.Childasheis,hespeaksfourlanguages.Unusualwordorderdrawsreaders’attention.14.Sheholdsmeinstrongarms,armsthathavechoppedcotton,dismemberedtrees,scatteredcornforchickens,cradledinfants,shakenthedaylightsoutofhalf-grownupstartteenagers.(Usingloosesentence)Loosesentencesbeginwithanindependentclause,followingbyadditionalwords,phrases,orclausesthatexpandordevelopit.15.Columbus,afterseveraldiscouragingandunsuccessfulvoyages,finallyreachedAmerica.(Usingperiodicsentences)16.JohnboughtabunchofrosesforJanelastFriday.(Usingcleftorpseudo-cleftsentences)Cleftsentence:ItwasJohnwhoboughtabunchofrosesforJanelastFriday.ItwasabunchofrosesthatJohnboughtforJanelastFriday.ItwasforJanethatJohnboughtabunchofroseslastFriday.ItwaslastFridaythatJohnboughtabunchofrosesforJane.Pseudo-cleftsentence:WhatJohnboughtforJanewasabunchofroseslastFriday.Using

negative-positive

statementsThey

first

points

out

what

is

not

the

truth,

and

then

what

is.

The

contrast

makes

them

emphatic.

17.

There

were

so

many

errors

in

the

performance

that

the

result

was

not

a

tragedy,

but

a

comedy.Usingbalancedsentences:

parallelstructures18.Inthe1950s,theelectronicmiraclewasthetelevision;inthe1980s,theelectronicmiraclewasthecomputer.Usingrhetoricalquestion19.Youcallthatagoodplay.Whatisgoodaboutit?20.Didn’tItellyouthatyoumustn’ttouchthismachine?UsingsubordinationDependentclause:aminorideaIndependentclause:aprominentideaREVIEW:SentenceStructureUsinginvertedsentencesUsingloosesentencesUsingperiodicsentencesUsingbalancedsentencesUsingcleftorpseudo-cleftsentencesUsingnegative-positivestatementsUsingrhetoricalquestionsUsingsubordination(c)EmphasisThroughChoiceofWordsUsingrepetitionwordsUsingverbs

ratherthannounsUsingemphatic

wordsandphrases(onearth/very…)(d)EmphasisThroughPunctuationMarks—:!Turntopage123andfinishthepracticeinclass.3.SentenceVariety

thelengthandstructure

WaystoachievevarietyVaryingsentencelengthCombiningsentencesbycoordinatingandsubordinatingUsingvariedsentencetypesVaryingsent