女友刁鉆問題回答指南

女友刁鉆問題答復(fù)指南女友刁鉆問題答復(fù)指南沒有女票的，未雨綢繆；有女票的，現(xiàn)學(xué)現(xiàn)用。好，接下來開頭上課：女朋友都會問哪些奇葩問題？這些問題又該怎樣答復(fù)？▌1.Doyoulovemeformylooksorbrains?你寵愛我的美貌還是才智？Youmustbethinking:Sometimes,youlooklikeyourbrain－small,narrowanddumb(adj.愚蠢)...whatkindofquestionisthis!Itisentrapment(n.圈套)!Youranswershouldbe:Baby,youaregoodateverything.Youkillmewithyourlooksandseduce(v.使…著迷mewiththebrilliance(n.卓越ofyourbrains...心理活動：……什么鬼問題！簡直是個圈套！完善答復(fù)：珍寶，你什么都好。你的美貌讓我一見傾心，而你的才智讓我欲罷不能！▌2.Doyoulikemygirlfriends?你寵愛我的那些閨蜜么？Youmustbethinking:Oh...Reenaishot...Rialookscuteinpink...andPoojaissweet...:PYouranswershouldbe:Don”tsayNobecauseNomeans...“youmeanIdon”thavegoodfriends“.Don”tsayYesbecauseYesmeans...“Nowyoulikethemmorethanme“.Justplaysafe求穩(wěn)andsay,“Allaregoodbutyouarethebest...Iloveyou“..;)心理活動：……瑞娜身材火辣……瑞亞穿上粉色的衣服格外得意……普賈長相甜蜜……完善答復(fù)：“不寵愛”，說不等于否認(rèn)女友；固然更不能說“寵愛”，女朋友簡潔吃醋。最保險的答復(fù)是“珍寶兒的朋友都很棒，但都比不上你??！我愛的是你！”▌3.Whydoyoulikeme?為什么寵愛我？Youmustbethinking:F**k...@#￥%&*〔〔@#..:PYouranswershouldbe:Don”tsayeverything.Smileandjustsay...becauseyouare“you“…simpleyetunique...:)心理活動：靠，怎么答復(fù)好啊，@#￥%&*〔〔@#。完善答復(fù)：“由于你是?你?”▌4.Doyoulovememorenoworwhenyouproposedtome?你是現(xiàn)在愛我多一點呢還是當(dāng)時求婚時愛我多一點？Youmustbethinking:Everytimeyouasksuchquestions,Ifeellikequestioningmyself...whydidIpropose(v.求婚)toyou..?????Youranswershouldbe:Relax...takeadeepbreathandsay...“myloveforyouhasneverremainedsame...ithasincreasedmuchmoresincethedayIproposedtoyou…“andhugher…(Phewmoment...)心理活動：每次問我這樣的問題，都讓我開頭疑心人生……當(dāng)時為什么要求婚？？完善答復(fù)：“我對你的愛始終在變化。從求婚的那一刻起，它便與日俱增，從未減弱……”隨后給個大大的擁抱……(此處可松一口氣了……)▌5.Doyounoticeanythingdifferent?留意到我身上有什么不同么？Youmustbethinking:Yeah...itisanewtricky“different”question...pleasenotagain…Youranswershouldbe:IfyoufinditdifficulttosearchthatX-factor(n.未知量)...don”ttryhard...actsimplewithsometwist(n.變化)…Justsay...“yesterdayyouwerelookingcuteandprettyandtodayyouarelookinghotandravishing(adj.令人著迷)...okok...Tellmebabywhat”sthatdifferentexcitingthing....“withsomeextrainterestandkeen(adj.猛烈的)curiosity(n.古怪心)...:P心理活動：“大家來找茬”玩耍！完善答復(fù)：假設(shè)沒能找到奇特的不同昨天的你甜蜜……的變化？”說這句的時候兩眼要放光，以顯示你猛烈的興趣和古怪心。▌6.DoIlookfat,inthisdress?我穿這件裙子會不會顯胖？Aclassic.Theanswerisareflex(adj.慣性的)“NO“.Don”tpause.Don”tstutter(v.結(jié)巴).Don”thesitate(v.遲疑).Evenifshelookslikeadonut(n.甜甜圈)withcreamontopinthatyellowdress;JUST.SAY.NO.“No”。沒有停頓、沒有結(jié)巴、沒有遲疑。“No”。▌7.DoyouREALLYloveme?你真的愛我嗎？Um,yeah.You”dthinkthisisenough,right?<Buzzer>(蜂鳴聲WRONG!Youhavetotellherwhy,when,where,how,inwhatshape,inwhatform,thetemperature,thecolorandalltheotherdetails.Anythinglessthanthatisunacceptable.愛啊。錯！”是不夠的，時間、地點、緣由，外形、形式、溫度、顏色，各種細(xì)節(jié)都必不行少，要不然通通會被視為敷衍。▌8.Whyis<xyz>liking/commenting/upvotingyourstuff?XXX總是在你發(fā)的東西下面點贊評論？Wronganswer-Becauseshe(it”salwaysashe)likesitprobably.Wronganswer-Wearefriends.Wronganswer-Weusedtobefriends.primaryschool.Wronganswer-Shehasaboyfriend!Rightanswer-Idon”tknow.Sheisabitch.〔固然是女字旁的她〕寵愛吧。錯誤答案：我們是朋友。錯誤答案：我們以前是朋友。錯誤答案：她有男朋友了！正確的答案只有一個。聰明的孩子都能秒懂的。▌9.Whatareyoulookingat?你在看什么？Pause.Step1.Wasthereagirlinthegeneraldirectionyouwerestaring?(generaldirectionisdefinedatanywherewithinaradius(n.半徑)of50mfromwhereyouarelocated)Step2.Iftheanswerisyes,say