讀后續(xù)寫助人類-新來的雇員kenny講義 高考英語作文專項(xiàng)復(fù)習(xí)

高二年級期中考讀后續(xù)寫閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。I’ma

headnurse,andit’smyjobto

evaluateworkers’performances

atthehospital.

Kenny

wasanewemployee,andheseemedfine.Afterafewweeks,Ihadtoadmitthathewasclean,responsibleandreasonablyefficient.Buthehadthis

self-confident

andenergeticpresence.Hewasa

large

man,bothphysicallyandsocially—hewas

strong

and

independent.I

worried

thataplacelikeourhospital,whichdemandedteamwork,wasnotrightforsuchapersonality.Wehadapatientnamed

Mary.At

94yearsold,Marywasasweakasaspiderweb.Herhusbandandsisterswerealldeadmanyyearsago.Wereallydidn’tknowifshehadanychildren,butifshedid,theyhadlongsinceabandonedher.Maryhada

stubbornbelief

thatsomeonehadtakenher

purse.Shesearchedforitallhoursofthedayandnight.Unlesstiedtoherbedorwheelchair,shewouldgothroughthedoorontothestreet,throughthelaundryroomandintothekitchen,mindlesslysearchingandnevergivingup.Whenshehadtostayinbedorinher

wheelchair,shewouldstopalmosteveryonewhocamenear.“Canyoulendmea

comb?”shewouldask.“I’velostmine.Itwasinmyredpurse.Mymoneyisgone,too.Whereismypurse?Whereismypurse?Haveyouseenmypurse?”Everydayitwasthesame.WeallknewMarydidn’thaveapurse,butwewouldn’tsayit.Insteadweusuallyanswered,“Sure,Mary,ifIseeyourpurseI’llbringitback.”O(jiān)neafternoon,justbeforesupper,IsawKennywalkingdownthehallwithaplasticgrocerybag.HewalkedtowardMaryinherwheelchair.Thenhepulledoutaredpurse.

注：考試試卷中并沒有這些黑體詞下劃線。我們這樣標(biāo)注的目的是為了展現(xiàn)續(xù)寫和原文的“詞匯和概念關(guān)聯(lián)互動”。還不太明白這種原理的朋友請先回顧：《為什么高考英語浙江卷讀后續(xù)寫值得我們重點(diǎn)關(guān)注》

Paragraph1:Mary’sthinoldhandsflewuptoherfaceinagestureofwonderandjoy.Paragraph2:Kennyleanedover,openedthepurseandshowedMaryaredcombinside.

01閱讀文本大意作者“我”作為一家醫(yī)院的護(hù)士主管（headnurse），負(fù)責(zé)評價其他護(hù)士的工作表現(xiàn)（evaluateworkers’performances）。有一位剛來的身高馬大的（large）的護(hù)士叫做Kenny。初來乍到，他表現(xiàn)出的個性特征讓“我”擔(dān)心他是否能適應(yīng)需要團(tuán)隊(duì)協(xié)作的醫(yī)院環(huán)境。在患者中，有一位94歲的住院病人Mary，她總是在尋找她口中的紅色錢包（redpurse）和筆。她固執(zhí)地認(rèn)為自己的錢包被人拿走了。護(hù)士們都知道Mary所說的錢包其實(shí)并不存在，就都沒有太在意她。一天下午，“我”看到Kenny拿著一個購物袋走向Mary，并從中拿出一個紅色的錢包……

02續(xù)寫重點(diǎn)考生需要續(xù)寫的是Mary看到紅色錢包之后的反應(yīng)以及Mary和Kenny的互動。在續(xù)寫開始前我們需要先確認(rèn)原文中的主要人物其實(shí)只有兩位：94歲的病人Mary和新來的護(hù)士Kenny。需要提醒大家注意的是作者“我”不是主要人物?！拔摇敝饕桥杂^者和敘述者?？忌鷮懽髦胁荒芨淖冞@種“敘事視角”。續(xù)寫的筆墨重點(diǎn)應(yīng)該放在Kenny和Mary的互動上。03寫作示范(注意看續(xù)寫部分下劃線詞和原文的互動)Mary'sthinoldhandsflewuptoherfaceinagestureofwonderandjoy.

Assheclutchedthepurse,aglimmerofpastjoydancedinhereyes.Obviously,

Kenny’skinddeedwentbeyondprofessionalduties,trulytouchingMary'sheart.Formany,Kennywasthenewcomeratourhospital,andhis

strong

and

independent

personalityhadoncemademequestionhisplacewithinourtight-knitgroup.However,thisheartfeltactdispelledallmydoubts.Itwasn'tmerelytheactofpresentingapurse;itwasatestamenttohisgenuinecompassionfora

94-year-oldpatient.

(81words)

瑪麗那瘦削的雙手飛到臉上，表示驚訝和高興。當(dāng)她抓著錢包時，一絲過去的喜悅在她的眼睛里閃過。顯然，肯尼的善舉超出了她的職責(zé)范圍，真正打動了瑪麗的心。對許多人來說，肯尼是我們醫(yī)院的新人，他堅(jiān)強(qiáng)而獨(dú)立的個性曾讓我質(zhì)疑他在我們緊密團(tuán)結(jié)的團(tuán)隊(duì)中的地位。然而，這一發(fā)自內(nèi)心的舉動打消了我所有的疑慮。這不僅僅是贈送錢包的行為；這證明了他對一位94歲的病人的真誠同情。（81字）Kennyleanedover,openedthepurseandshowedMaryaredcombinside.

Mary'seyessparkledwithgratitude,andshemurmuredasincere"Thankyou."Asthistendersceneunfolded,Kenny's

large

build,whichhadonceseemedoutofplace,nowseemedveryadorable.Whentheyear-end

evaluation

camearound,rememberingthatmoment,Ididn'thesitatetomarkKenny's

performance

as"Outstanding."Itwasclearthathisgenuineactionsspokelouderthanwords,embodyingthespiritofrealcarewevaluedatourhospital.

(71words)

肯尼彎下腰，打開錢包，給瑪麗看里面的一把紅梳子?，旣惖难劬镩W爍著感激的光芒，她輕聲說了一句真誠的“謝謝你?！碑?dāng)這溫柔的一幕展開時，肯尼曾經(jīng)顯得格格不入的大個子現(xiàn)在看起來非?？蓯邸．?dāng)年終評估出來時，想起那一刻，我毫不猶豫地將肯尼的表現(xiàn)評為“杰出”。很明顯，他的真實(shí)行動勝于雄辯，體現(xiàn)了我們醫(yī)院重視的真正關(guān)懷精神。（71字）04寫作細(xì)節(jié)分析Mary'sthinoldhandsflewuptoherfaceinagestureofwonderandjoy.

Assheclutchedthepurse,aglimmerofpastjoydancedinhereyes(合理的情緒描寫).Obviously,

Kenny’skinddeedwentbeyondprofessionalduties,trulytouchingMary'sheart.（肯定Kenny的人文關(guān)懷，雖然看著高大，但實(shí)際上他是溫柔細(xì)膩的人）Formany,Kennywasthenewcomeratourhospital,andhis

strong

and

independent

personalityhadoncemademequestionhisplacewithinourtight-knitgroup(呼應(yīng)原文中“我的擔(dān)心和疑慮”).However,thisheartfeltactdispelledallmydoubts.Itwasn'tmerelytheactofpresentingapurse;itwasatestamenttohisgenuinecompassionfora

94-year-oldpatient.

Kennyleanedover,openedthepurseandshowedMaryaredcombinside.

Mary'seyessparkledwithgratitude,andshemurmuredasincere"Thankyou."（老人感動感激之情溢于言表）Asthistendersceneunfolded,Kenny's

large

build(和原文中對Kenny體型的描述互動),whichhadonceseemedoutofplace,nowseemedveryadorable.Whentheyear-end

evaluation

camearound,rememberingthatmoment,Ididn'thesitatetomarkKenny's

performance

as"Outstanding."（和前文我的職責(zé)呼應(yīng)）Itwasclearthathisgenuineactionsspokelouderthanwords,embodyingthespiritofrealcarewevaluedatourh