讀后續(xù)寫講評(píng)幫助朋友買棒球帽課件廣東省惠州一模英語(yǔ)試題

2014年惠一調(diào)讀后續(xù)寫Joeywassoexcitedhecouldhardlywaittogettothestore.HewalkedsofastthathissisterBethhadtorun.“Doyouhavetohurrylikethat?”shepuffed.OnhiswayfromschoolhehadseenthatbaseballcapinRogers’storewindow.Onlyadollar,andthiswasthelastcap!Joeyhadlookedatthecapalongtime.Hewanteditmorethananything.Everyboyatschoolhadone.Joeythoughtofhispiggybank,intowhichheputeverycoinforrunningerrands(差使)forhisfamilyandneighbors.Joeyracedhome,notstoppingforanything.Heheldthefatironpig,openeditcarefully,andpouredoutthecoins.Ten...twenty...thirty...ninetycents.Ifonlyhehadonemoredime(一角硬幣)!Lostinthought,Joeystaredoutthewindow.“What’swrong,Joey?”askedMother.Joeytoldaboutthemoneyandthecap.“Ifyougivemewhatyouhave,I’lladdadime,”Mothersaid,handinghimadollarbill.“I’llhavesomeerrandsforyoutomorrow.”Joeyjumpedup.“Oh,thanks,Mom.That’sgreat!”AndawaywentJoeyandBethtothestorewiththedollarbillinJoey’spocket.Theyturnedthelastcorner.Aheadwasagroupofboysandgirls,talkingheatedlyandlookingdownatthesidewalk.OneofthechildrenwasRonny,anewboywhohadbeeninthistownonlyashorttime.Ronny’sfatherhadbeensick,sotherewasn’tmuchmoneyforextras--likebaseballcap.“What’sthematter?”Bethasked,anxiously.“It’sRonny,”answeredSusan.“He’sbeenworkingandfinallysavedupawholedollar,andnowit’slost!”JoeywentovertoRonny.“We’llallhelplook.We’llfindit!”“RonnywasgoingtogetthatlastcapinRogers’window,”putinBilly.“Iwanteditalot.Iwanttojointhem.”Ronnysaidslowly.SuddenlyJoeyrememberedhowRonnyhadwatchedthefellowsplayingbaseball,hiseyeslightingupeagerlyastheyshoutedandran.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Joeystaredattheground,thinkinghard._________________________________________________________Forcingasmile,JoeyshowedBeththeemptypocket.

______________________________________________01ReadforThemesRead主題語(yǔ)境：“人與社會(huì)”主題：“幫助朋友”。故事概要：主人公Joey非?？释玫揭豁敯羟蛎?，在去商店的路上偶遇同去買棒球帽卻將錢遺失的Ronny。最后，善解人意的Joey將自己購(gòu)買帽子的一美元巧妙地給了Ronny，助Ronny實(shí)現(xiàn)了愿望。time(When)place(Where)character（Who）

event(What)settingJoey；Beth；RonnywhenJoeywasonthewaytotheRogers’storetobuybaseballcap

onthewaytotheRogers’storeJoeycameacrossRonny,whoalsowenttobuyabaseballcapbutlosthismoney.Intheend,theempatheticJoeycleverlygivesRonnythedollarheboughtforthelastbaseballcap,helpingRonnymakehiswishcometrue.02ReadSettingRead03ReadReadforConflictsEveryboyatschoolhadonecap.Joeymanagedtogetonedollarbyrunningerrandsandwenttobuythelastbaseballcapinthestore.Ronnywasanewboyinthetownandwaseagertojoinotherboys.Hewantedtobuythecapaswellandhadfinallysaveduponedollar,butitwaslost.Hisfatherwassick,andtherewasn’tmuchmoneyforextras.Bothofthemweregoingtobuythelastbaseballcap,andRonnylosthismoneytobuythecap.04Readforplots

ReadPara.1:Joeystaredattheground,thinkinghard.

determinedPara.2:Forcingasmile,JoeyshowedBeththeemptypocket

relievedandjoyfulHecameacrossRonny,wholostthemoneytobuythelastcap.sympatheticJoeywantedthebaseballcapaseveryboyintheschoolhadone.

expectant

Joeygotonedollartobuythelastcapandwasgoingtobuythecap.excitedStoryMountain思路啟發(fā)02Para.1:Joeystaredattheground,thinkinghardPara.2:

Forcingasmile,JoeyshowedBeththeemptypocket.Whatdidhethinkabout?Whatdecisiondidhemake?Whatdidhedotosolvetheproblem?WhydidheshowBeththeemptypocket?HowdidBethreactafterknowingthetruth?DidRonnygetthecap?HowdidJoeyfeelabouttheresult?Whatisthetheme?05ReadforCluesandpredictthePlotRead兩段首句定一段二段二首正能量·能力焦點(diǎn)·備考重點(diǎn)22—25分（優(yōu)秀）

1.創(chuàng)造了新穎、豐富、合理的內(nèi)容，富有邏輯性，續(xù)寫完整，與原文情境融洽度高；

2.使用了多樣且恰當(dāng)?shù)脑~匯和語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)，表達(dá)流暢，語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤很少，且完全不影響理解；

3.自然有效地使用了段落間、語(yǔ)句間銜接手段，全文結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，前后呼應(yīng)，意義連貫。新高考全國(guó)卷續(xù)寫評(píng)分（節(jié)選）與原文可銜接點(diǎn)LearnthestandardToshowin3aspects:①Bodylanguage②Facialexpression③Conversation

GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting(1)Iwasdelighted.Myfacelitupwitharadiantsmileandmyeyesshonewithdelight.Iwasdelightedandexclaimed,“Imadeit!”

GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting(2)Iwasgratefultomyteacher.Withawarmsmileandagentlenod,Iexpressedmygratitudetomyteacher."Thankyousomuchforyourguidanceandsupport,"Isaid,myvoicefilledwithsincerity.

GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting(3)Heencouragedme.AsIwalkedintotheroom,hegreetedmewithathumbs-up."I'mheretosupportyoueverystepoftheway,"hesaid,hisvoicefilledwithencouragement.Withawarmsmileandagentlepatontheshoulder,heencouragedmetokeepgoing."Ibelieveinyou,"hesaid,hiseyesfilledwithconfidence.

GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting1.Applyproperexpressionsandsentencepatterns.

(1)羅尼撿起鈔票。（加adj;adv.——情緒/動(dòng)作)

Overwhelminglyexcitedanddelighted,Ronnypickedupthebill.

GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting1.Applyproperexpressionsandsentencepatterns.

(1)貝絲說(shuō)：“喬伊，你真的沒(méi)有找到羅尼的美元。這是你的。(加動(dòng)作、表情、情緒）貝絲睜大眼睛，驚訝地說(shuō)：“喬伊，你真的沒(méi)有找到羅尼的美元。這是你的。

Eyeswideopen,Bethutteredinsurprise,“Joey,youdidn’treallyfindRonny’sdollar.Itwasyours.”

GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting(2)feelsthdoingsth(情緒描寫）在知道哥哥的所作所為后，貝絲感到非常自豪

Afterknowingwhatherbrotherhaddone,Bethfeltveryproud.

Afterknowingwhatherbrotherhaddone,Bethfeltaflushofpridefloodingoverher.

GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWritingTrytowritepara.2.Pleaserefertotheassessmentformwhenyouwrite.表達(dá)積累04Abitdisappointedashewas,hestillfeltasenseofachievement.Itturnedoutthathisdeedsnotonlygaveahelpinghandtoapersoninneed,butalsogavehimselfasweettasteofbeingkind.Atthethoughtofhisdisappointedlook/Seeinghimclosetotears,Joeydeterminedtodohislittlebittohelphim.Awaveofsatisfactionsweptoverhim.Ronnynoddedingratitude,eyesglisteningwithheld-backtears.ThesceneoftheshabbycabinandtheimageofhissickfatherpoppingintoJoey’smind,aninnervoiceurgedhimtofollowhisheartatanyexpense.Withoutasecondthought,Joeyreachedintohispocketandsecretlydroppeditontheground.Whatfollowedwasanawkwardlylongsilence,whichwaseventuallybrokenbyBeth’sstomachgrowlingloudly.Thissituationputhiminadifficultposition.HeresolvedhisinternalconflictbytakingoutthebillandwavingitatRonny.范文賞析03

Joeystaredattheground,thinkinghard.ThatcapwouldmakeRonnyfeelhereallybelongedtothefellowgroup.Buthehimselfhadlongedforitsomuch.Hebithislowerlips,withhishandtightlyclutchingthedollar.Ronny’swordsconstantlyflashedthroughhismind.IthithimthatheshoulddosomethingniceforRonny.Hebentdownandgaveashout,“Look!Lookhere!”Theyallcrowdedaround.Therealmosthiddenintheleaveswastheunmistakablegreenofadollarbill!

Overwhelminglyexcitedanddelighted,Ronnypic