【讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)】-讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)課件：Believe-in-Miracles-陶江英

ContinuationWriting

BelieveinMiraclesBelieveinMiraclesMyfriendAnnetteandIhaddecidedtogotoawriter’sconferenceoverValentine’sDayweekendinLivermore,California.Weweretakingaminivacationtogetherandcouldn’thavebeenmoreexcited.Wewantedtogettherethedaybeforetheconferenceandsettleintoourhotelroom.Theweatherforecastwaspredictinghighwindsandrain,sowedecidedtotakeanearlymorningtrainandthenconnectwithacitybustoourhotel.Wearrivedearlyenoughtoenjoybreakfastinthehotel.Weevenhadthegoodfortunetobeabletogetourroom.Allwasgoingwell.Wewereofftoaperfectstart.Onceinourroom,theterriblestormhittheearth!Thewindandrainmadestayingintheonlysensibleoption.Aslunchtimeapproached,wedecidedtotryaphoneappthatwouldbringalmostanyrestaurant’sfoodtous.Wedecidedonhamburgersfromawell-knownchain.Thefood-deliveryapppromiseda45-minutewaittime.Forty-fiveminutescameandwent,thenanhour,andthenanhourandahalf.Aftertwohours,Icalledtherestaurant.Theyexplainedthatourhamburgerswereunderaheatlamptheentiretime,justwaitingforthedriver.WecanceledtheorderanddecidedtogooutinanUbercartocontinueourquestforhamburgers.Thefront-deskmanagersuggestedarestaurantthathadgreathamburgers.SowetooktheUbercarandsetoff.Butwhenwearrivedattherestaurant,wefounditwasclosedduetothebadweather.Andourcarhadalreadyleft.Westoodoutsidethebuildingonthatmiserablycoldandwetday,tryingtodecidewhattodonext.Ofcourse,thesolutionwaseasy:JustorderanotherUbercar.Ibegandigginginmypurseformyphone,butitwasn’tthere！Reading

1ReadthetitleBelieveinMiraclesTheme?Miracleskindness/goodnessofstranger(s)Para.1plannedavacation2ReadthestructureBeginningClimaxEndingrisingactionfallingactionPara.2arrivedinthemorningPara.3-4failedtoorderhamburgersPara.5tookaUbercartoquesthamburgersPara.6lostthephone??BelieveinMiraclesMyfriendAnnetteandIhaddecidedtogotoawriter’sconferenceoverValentine’sDayweekendinLivermore,California.Weweretakingaminivacationtogetherandcouldn’thavebeenmoreexcited.Wewantedtogetthere

thedaybeforetheconferenceandsettleintoourhotelroom.Theweatherforecastwaspredictinghighwindsandrain,sowedecidedtotakeanearlymorningtrainandthenconnectwithacitybustoourhotel.Wearrivedearlyenoughtoenjoybreakfastinthehotel.Weevenhadthegoodfortunetobeabletogetourroom.Allwasgoingwell.Wewereofftoaperfectstart.Onceinourroom,theterriblestormhittheearth!Thewindandrainmadestayingintheonlysensibleoption.Aslunchtimeapproached,wedecidedtotryaphoneappthatwouldbringalmostanyrestaurant’sfoodtous.Wedecidedonhamburgersfromawell-knownchain.Thefood-deliveryapppromiseda45-minutewaittime.Forty-fiveminutescameandwent,thenanhour,andthenanhourandahalf.Aftertwohours,Icalledtherestaurant.Theyexplainedthatourhamburgerswereunderaheatlamptheentiretime,justwaitingforthedriver.WecanceledtheorderanddecidedtogooutinanUbercartocontinueourquestforhamburgers.Thefront-deskmanagersuggestedarestaurantthathadgreathamburgers.SowetooktheUbercarandsetoff.Butwhenwearrivedattherestaurant,wefounditwasclosedduetothebadweather.Andourcarhadalreadyleft.Westoodoutsidethebuildingonthatmiserablycoldandwetday,tryingtodecidewhattodonext.Ofcourse,thesolutionwaseasy:JustorderanotherUbercar.Ibegandigginginmypurseformyphone,butitwasn’tthere！3Readdetailedinformationwinter:terriblestorm,cold,wetfailedtohavehamburgerslostthephone4ReadgivensentencesPara.1IrealizedIhadleftitintheUbercar.

Para.2Aswepulledintotheparkinglot,IsuddenlysawourfirstUbercar.Howdidwegetthere?TookacarbychanceHowtoorderacar?UsedAnnette'sphoneHowdidIfeel?HowdidIfeelthen?WhatdidIdo?1.Thedriverknewtherewasaphone.2.Thedriverdidn'tknowtherewasaphone.prediction:

Heplannedtoreturnit.IfounditontheseatWriting

1Howtodescribeanxiety?worried擔(dān)憂(yōu)的anxious擔(dān)心的，焦慮的upset心煩的，沮喪的depressed抑郁的;沮喪的frustrated懊惱的，沮喪的glum憂(yōu)郁的;悶悶不樂(lè)的...Adjectives1ExpressionsIfeltmybrainwaslikeascribble.Aflutterofanxietysweptovermybody.Iscratchedmyhead,standingthererootedtothespot.Worriedandanxious,Istoodtherewithaglumlookontheface.Ihadneverencounteredsuchacase,soIdidn'tknowwhattodonext.Mymindwasallconfused,goingroundlikeawashingmachineonfastspin.Thinkingthattherewassomuchcrucialinformationinthephone,Isankintodepression....Howtodescribeanxiety?Writing

2Howtoechotheearliertext?failedtogethamburgerslostthephonegotthephonebackenjoyedhamburgersmiraclesEarliertextContinuationwritingAppreciating

1學(xué)生習(xí)作點(diǎn)評(píng)：整體情節(jié)合乎邏輯，與段首句銜接合理，天氣描寫(xiě)、心理描寫(xiě)比較自然，表達(dá)上有少許錯(cuò)誤，但語(yǔ)言形式比較豐富，第二段的miracle與原文有所呼應(yīng)，但文末似乎意猶未盡。另外該同學(xué)忘記了下劃線(xiàn)，須引起重視。Appreciating

1學(xué)生習(xí)作點(diǎn)評(píng)：情節(jié)合理，第一段中有情節(jié)波動(dòng)，與天氣狀況相吻合。與段首句的銜接自然，表達(dá)上有少許錯(cuò)誤，但語(yǔ)言形式比較豐富。第二段用感嘆句呼應(yīng)標(biāo)題miracle，但文末若能寫(xiě)到“漢堡”，情節(jié)會(huì)更完整。另外該同學(xué)的書(shū)寫(xiě)有待提高。Appreciating

1學(xué)生習(xí)作點(diǎn)評(píng)：第一段中“朋友沒(méi)有手機(jī)”這事應(yīng)該有所交代，否則情節(jié)漏洞太明顯。語(yǔ)言表達(dá)上力求形式豐富，但非謂語(yǔ)作狀語(yǔ)時(shí)應(yīng)注意邏輯主語(yǔ)的準(zhǔn)確使用。文末的miracle回應(yīng)了標(biāo)題，若能寫(xiě)到“漢堡”，情節(jié)將更完整。

IrealizedIhadleftitintheUbercar.Thecarwaslonggone,andsowasmyphone.Worriedandanxious,Istoodtherewithaglumlookontheface.AnnettetriedtocomfortmeasshetookoutherphoneandorderedanotherUbercar.Whilewaiting,Ifeltmymindwasallconfused.“Whatifmyphonewastakenbyot