【讀后續(xù)寫】 2021年11月湖麗衢高三聯(lián)考讀后續(xù)寫講評：Chicken Soup for the Soul Thanks Dad!名師課件-陳星可

20211105湖麗衢聯(lián)考讀后續(xù)寫WatchOverMe陳星可

浙江省天臺中學(xué)PART01文本研習(xí)PART02情節(jié)推斷PART03語料積累PART04作品欣賞Contents:WatchingOverMe

ThereisnothingmorewonderfulthanthesmelloftheAdirondackair!Itfillsyourlungswithpurityandfreshnessthatmotivatesaloveforliving.Everyweekendinthesummer,myfatherwouldplanatripfromourhomeinupstateNewYorktooneofthesplendidlakesnestledamongthetallpinesandthickforestsoftheAdirondackMountains.Therewerenofavorites;instead,eachlakewasanadventuretoexploreandenjoy.

OnetripthatIwillneverforgetwasavisittoOneidaLakeatthefoothillsofthemountains.Afterarrivingatthelakebeacharea,weemptiedthecarofourpicnicsupplies,towels,blanketsandbeachchairs,carryingthemthroughawoodedpaththatseemedlikeaforeverdistance.Oncewelocatedtheperfectpicnicspot,mydad,sisterandIranintothesplashingwaveswithourbeachball,leavingmymotherbehindto“setup”.Inthelake,weimmediatelyplayed“monkeyinthemiddle”foratleastanhour,andthenafterretiringtheball,myfatherletusdivefromhisknee,throwingusupintheairandturningusoverlikethickpancakesonagrill.Thistimelessgamewentonandonasourbegging試題呈現(xiàn)：for“more,more”neverstopped.Whenwewerefinallytiredofourgames,mydadstoppedtowatchmyoldersister.Shelovedsynchronizedswimming(花樣游泳)andstartedpracticingskillsthatherteamusedincompetition.Myfather,beinganathletehimself,wasabsorbedinhershow.Iwassadthatnoonewasplayingwithme;noonewaswatchingme.Ibecameboredandjealouswatchinghershowoff.Iwasinsulk(慍怒)anddecidedtoswimbymyselfandtrysomeofmysister’sskillsonmyownindeeperwater,farfrombothofthem.Thewavesweregettingstronger,butIdidn'tcare.IjustwantedtodowhatmysistercoulddosothatIcouldcatchmyfather'sattention.

Paragraph1:AsItookabreathtotryadive,ahugewaveswallowedme.__________________________________________________________________

Paragraph2:Itwasmydad!______________________________________________________________________________________________________nestledexploreininplaceplayingtiredwatchWithoutfarswallowedUnderstandingthepassage:

Everyweekend

insummer,Fatherwouldplanatriptothelakes1.________intheAdirondackMountainsto2.e__________theirpurity,freshnessandbeauty.Andoneadventure3.____particularremainsaliveinmymind.Afterwearrivedatthebeachandputeverything4.________forthepicnic,Dad,mysisterandIhadreallyafuntime5.__________(play)“monkeyinthemiddle”gameanddad’sthrowingusintheair.Whenwefinallygot6._____ofthegame,mydadstoppedto7._______myoldersisterpractisingsynchronizedswimmingskills.8.__________anyonewatchingmeandplayingwithme,Iwasabitboredandjealous.Tocatchmyfather’sattention,Idecidedtotrysomeofmysister’sskillsinthewater9.____awayfromthem.Unluckily,ahugewave10.____________me...1.守護(hù)，保護(hù)，

看管2.坐落于松樹林間的湖3.拿出車?yán)锏囊安陀闷?.確定野餐的地方5.飛濺的浪花6.把某人拋到半空中（開心）7.把...翻過來8.對...感到厭倦9.全神貫注于...10.炫耀，展示11.吸引某人的注意力12.被浪吞沒Languagelearning：1.watchover2.thelakenestledamongthepines3.emptythecarofthepicnicsuppliesemptythepicnicsuppliesoutofthecar4.locatethepicnicspot5.thesplashingwaves6.throwsb.upintheair7.turn...over8.betiredof...9.beabsorbedin...10.showoff11.catchsb’sattention12.beswallowed/engulfedbythewave1.ThereisnothingmorewonderfulthanthesmelloftheAdirondackair!Languagelearning：2.

Myfatherletusdivefromhisknee,throwingusupintheairandturningusoverlikethickpancakesonagrill.3.monkeyinthemiddle高級句式“否定詞+比較級”：表達(dá)最高級的意思。此句可以改寫為ThesmellofAdirondackisthemostwonderfulofall.采用了明喻的修辭手法，一般以like,asif,asthough等為標(biāo)志,增加了描寫的畫面感和生動性。背景知識：過頂傳球（兒童游戲，由兩人拋傳球，中間一人爭搶）Developthestory：Paragraph1:AsItookabreathtotryadive,ahugewaveswallowedme.

Paragraph2:Itwasmydad!巨浪吞沒了我---我驚恐、害怕，在水中掙扎---自救失敗，我后悔、絕望---有人出現(xiàn)，救起了我爸爸把我救到了沙灘上---全家人安慰我，沒有責(zé)罵我---我深感內(nèi)疚，明白家人一直愛著我，雖然有時候并沒有看/關(guān)注著我。Developthestory：thefirstsentencesParagraph1:AsItookabreathtotryadive,ahugewaveswallowedme.

Paragraph2:Itwasmydad!逆推法Myfathercametomyhelp.Q1:HowdidIfeelaboutthesituationandwhatdidIdo?(心理活動+動作+情緒/感)Q2:DidImanagetogetoutofwater?HowdidIfeel?(心理活動+動作+情緒情感)Q1:HowdidIfeelafterIgotontothebeach?(心理活動+動作)Q2:Whatdidmyfamilymemberdo?(動作+情緒情感)Q3:HowdidIreflectontheunpreparedadventure?(內(nèi)心想法+抽象名詞+watch)fathersister

waves

waterlove

explorecarrydive

watch

bored

Developthestory：underlinedwords（para1）1.Iwasstrugglinginthewater,afraidthatmylifewouldenduphereinthelake.2.Itriedtokeepmyselffloatingabovethewater,butthewaveskeptpullingmedownunder.3.Ifeltdesperate,likeatinybrokenboatatthemercyoftheangrywaves.4.MystrengthwasrunningoutandIwasonthevergeofgivingupwhensomeoneswamclosetomeandtookmyhand,firmly.

1.HowIregrettedhavingbeensowillfulastoleavemydadanddiveintosuchalonelyplace!Now,itwastoolate.2.Ifeltastrongpushfromunderandmyselfbeingcarriedupoutofwater.

fathersister

waves

waterlove

explorecarrydive

watch

bored

Developthestory：underlinedwords（para2）1.Father

huggedmetightlyandcarriedmebacktoaplacewhereIcouldstand.2.Hehadnevertakenhiseyeoffme,evenashehadtheothereyeonmysister.3.Lookingbacktheatthestrongwaves,Ifeltluckytobebackaliveandashamedofmychildishjealousyofmysister.

1.SeeingIwasbackonthebeach,safeandsound,mysisterheavedasighofrelief.2.Withouthiswatchingoverme,withouthislovingme,IwouldnotbethestrongwomanIamtoday.3.Iwaswellawarethatdad’slovewasactuallyalwaysshoweredonmeandstayedwithmethoughsometimeshewasnotwatchingme.

1.Iimmediatelyregrettedhavingsaidthis.

我馬上就后悔說了這話。2.Hewasdeeplyregretfulforhisoutburst.

我為自己的大發(fā)雷霆懊悔。3.Iwasstabbedwithregret/remorse.

我因悔恨而心如刀割4.IfIhadn’tquarrelledwithPeter,

Iwouldn’tbetrappedhere.

虛擬語氣

=Hadn’tIquarrelledwithPeter,Iwouldn’tbetrappedhere.

要不是當(dāng)初沒有和Peter吵架，我就不會被困在這里了。5.Shewassodesperate/hopelessthatshegaveupstruggleindespair.

太絕望了，她放棄了努力/掙扎。Languageaccumulation-后悔、絕望6.Desperately,Isoughthelpfrommyuncle,butinvain.

我絕望地尋求著幫助，但是無果而終。7.Tonywassuddenlythrownintoaworldofdarknessandsankintohopelessness.

Tom被扔進(jìn)了絕望的深淵。8.Myheartached/sank,tearsstreamingdownmycheeks.

我的心痛得絕望，淚如雨下。9.Hisheartswelledwithdisappointmentwhen…

他的心里滿是失望，......。10.Theharshwordssentherintothedepthsofdespair.

這尖刻的話語把我送進(jìn)了絕望的深淵。Languageaccumulation-后悔、絕望1.Aripple/waveoffearran/surgedthroughhim/hisbody.

一陣恐懼席卷他全身。2.Devisatonthesideonabench,paralyzedwithfear.

Devi坐在一長凳的邊上，嚇壞了。3.Tremorswrackedmybody,andcoldsweattrickleddownmyback.

我被嚇得身體抖個不停，冷汗直流背下。4.Shewasstruck/consumed/overcomewithfearwhen…

她被嚇到了。5.Ifrozewithterror,tooscaredtomoveaninch.

我嚇呆了，僵在那里動不了。6.Ifeltawaveoffearwraparoundme.

我感到一陣恐懼包圍了我。Languageaccumulation-害怕7.Paulawasseizedbyfearandwasrootedtothefloor.

Paula無比恐懼，雙腳好像釘在了地上。8.Shewasfrightenedoutofherwits.

她嚇得魂不附體。9.Helookedattherobber,hislegstrembling/shaking.

他看著那劫犯，雙腿抖個不停。10.Hisfaceturnedpalewithfright.

他的臉嚇得都白了。11.Hishairstoodonendashethoughthesawawhitefigurecomingtowardshim.

當(dāng)他看到一個白影朝他走過來，他嚇得頭發(fā)都豎了起來。12.Thehorriblescenemademybloodruncoldandstruckfearintomyheart.

那可怕的場面使我毛骨悚然，膽戰(zhàn)心驚。

Languageaccumulation-害怕1.Thecoastlinewashiddenbehindtheroaringwaveswithalmostnoonetobeseen.

海岸線已經(jīng)退到?jīng)坝康暮＠说暮筮?，岸邊不見一人?.Ahugewavewhistledandapproachedus.

一陣海浪呼嘯而來，逼近我們。3.Thebigwindroaredthroughourears,andwewerepushedawayfromtheshorefartherandfarther.

大風(fēng)在耳邊咆哮，

把我們刮得離海岸越來越遠(yuǎn)。4.Allmysensestoldmethatabigwavewasabouttocome.

所有得感覺都指向一件事：大浪要來了。5.Thefiercewavesshowednosignofdyingdown.

兇猛得海浪沒有絲毫消退的跡象7.Theseawasroughthatdayanditwasdifficulttohandlethebodyboard.

海面波濤洶涌，要把控好船只太難了。Languageaccumulation-波濤洶涌參考范文：

AsItookabreathtotryadive,ahugewaveswallowedme.Ichokedandthenahugeundercurrentsweptmedeeperbeneaththewaves.Theverythoughtofdyingfilledmewithamadpanic.Ikickedmylegswildly,losinganyhopeforabreath.Iremembertryingtostandup,butthesandybottomhaddisappeared.AsIcameupsearchingforthesurface,strugglingforoxygen,sputteringtoclearmylungs,Ifeltafirmgrasponmyarmandapulltosafety.

Itwasmydad!HehuggedmetightlyandcarriedmebacktoaplacewhereIcouldstand.Therewasnoscolding,justabighugandsmilebecauseheknewIwasallright.Hehadbeenwatchingmeallalong!Hehadnevertakenhiseyeoffme,evenashehadtheothereyeonmysister.Hehadprotectedme.Beingtoldbysomeonethatyouarelovedisgreat,butexperiencingthatloveisawesome.Withouthiswatchingoverme,withouthislovingme,IwouldnotbethestrongwomanIamtoday.

AsItookabreathtotryadive,ahugewaveswallowedme.Thewaveseemedtobegettingstrongerandstronger,attemptingtopullmedeepertothebottomofthelake.Strugglinghardtokeepmyselffloating,Ikickedmylegsdesperately,butitdidn’twork.Itriedtocalldadforhelp,butitwasfarawayandmycrywasswallowedbytheroarofthewave.Everyluckseemedtobegoingagainstme!Thinkingthatmylifemightenduphereinthelake,Ifeltlikeatinybrokenatthemercyofthefrighteningwave