哈佛大學幸福課筆記《positivepsychology》.docx

哈佛大學幸福課筆記positive psychologySilence 實踐活動后的最好進行內(nèi)省 分清楚主次 第二課 Resilience 適應力 Optimistic A sense of meaningful Faith Pro-social behavior What Im good at? Focusing on strengths ? Social support ? Set goals? A role model? Question create reality. They create possibilities. A question begin a quest. Put your mind on whats you good at Take responsibility! No one is coming. Its up to you to make the most out of this experience. Lesson3 Marva Collins Ok, its hard, unfair, difficult. However, its your own responsibility. No one is coming. Its up to you to make that difference in your life! Collins way-how can we cultivate the seed of generation in our student? If we only ask “how many geometric shapes do you see on the screen?” and then, well miss the children on the bus, They completely missed the seed of greatness. Questions make a difference! Most people lead lives of quiet desperation. Comfortably numb, how can we go beyond? How can we get beyond that “quiet desperation”? 幸福并不代表沒有痛苦，幸福也不會自動降臨。 心理健康模型: 1. Do we focus on weaknesses, which is the disease model, say lets get rid of weaknesses? Or do we focus on strength? The disease model, the optimum level is the zero: lets just be OK; lets just not hurt. The health model, let go beyond that, lets get excitement, feel passion, not only the state of relax, its the creative tension. “Flow” we engage what we doing, much more than being “comfortable numb” not only rise to positive, but also can help us deal with desperation. A failure of personal growth Psychology is not just study of the disease, weakness, and damage, it also is the study of the strength and virtue, treatment is not just fixing what is wrong; it also builds what is right. Build bridge: 將世界一分為二。What the world needs is more than anything else, is practical idealists. Sense of mission 使命感 Your desire to do good. Self-esteem Meditation actually transforms our brain. Three physical exercises, 30 minutes each time has the same effect as powerful as our most psychiatric drugs. The foundation of being an idealists is believe change is possible. 第四課 The possibility of change! The tip of the stem is actually about democratizing excellence. Study the best and applying it to the rest of us. One of the most significant barriers to people doing things change the world, to actually introducing change is they underestimate their ability to bring about change. All history is a record of the power of minorities, and of minorities of one. 改變是從一小部分人開始的，然后指數(shù)性的擴張，問題是如何讓思想擴張, Example of smile，Smile are contagious. Exponential function，the power of one. Premise number 3: Internal factors versus external factors. Income, statues, external circumstances make very little difference. Not lower or high expectations-thats wont make a difference to our levels of wellbeing. What will make a difference to our levels of wellbeing is right or wrong expectation. Our happiness is mostly depended on our state of mind; its about changing perception, about changing our interpretation of the world, of whats happing to us, of our achievements, of our failures. Its about what we choose to perceive, what we choose to focus on. Its about transformation, as opposed to the external information or the external success. The fourth premises: Permission to be human. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can change; and wisdom to know the difference. 屈服并不同于主動接受 In our culture today, we dont give us permission to be human, the freedom to experience these painful emotions as well. We all need a space, a place of our lives, where we give ourselves the PH, whether its with close friend, people we care about, whether its first and foremost with ourselves when we write a journal, where we do give ourselves the permission to be, to cry, to be joyousbecause we dont, we pay a price. We need a space of unconditional acceptance. Experience the envy when I experienced it, accept it;and then enjoy and celebrate it-the positive side. Ironic processing-when we suppress a nature phenomenon and that phenomenon only strengthens. The same applies to the painful emotions that are natural. And when we try to suppress them, they will strengthen. Painful emotions are as much as part of human nature as the law of gravity is part of physical nature. “Nature to be commanded as must be obeyed”. 嚴重的抑郁是我們扮演快樂所付出的終極代價 I accept my nature, I accept my state, but its doesnt means resignation. What Im talking about is active acceptance. The A B C of psychology. A. stand for affection-emotion B. stand for behavior-action C. stand for cognitionthoughts. 要實現(xiàn)改變，需要在A B上實現(xiàn) Unconditional acceptance permission human relates primarily to our affect, their are there. That does not mean we need to accept our behavior and out cognition. Emotion is no matter right or wrong, the question is how do I choose my behavior to act as a result of it? That is where the moral domain enters. I can feel the emotion but its doesnt mean that I need to resign to my thoughts about that feeling, rumination is not helpful，its much helpful to write about them. To talk to other people about them, dont let all my irrational thoughts again and again repeat in your mind. 第五課: 在我們的文化中尋求快樂會被認為是自私的。人們會想:我怎么可以這么快樂呢,世界上有那么多的痛苦。但是，快樂并不是從別人那里奪來的，不是零和游戲，相反，快樂可以傳染。Being happy, in other word, is also a moral state. 如果你善良，請你快樂。 Happiness never decreases by being shared. Its contagious. 當我們處于消極情緒時，我們的思維會變得狹窄、停滯，造成惡性循環(huán)，甚至形成抑郁。當我們處于積極地情緒下，我們的思維寬廣。靈活而且跳躍。我們腦子里會有更多的選擇，會有更充足的精力。 Working for our happiness, seems contributing to or wellbeing, lead us be more generous and benevolent toward other people. Be the change you want to see in the world change-Gandhi把自己改變成為你想改變的世界。 The optimal way to spread happiness is to work on your on happiness. Because then you are leading by example. Belief as self-fulfilling prophecies. 羅杰 世界上第一個在四分鐘內(nèi)跑完一英里的人。在這之前，科學家，生物學家證明人類的生理極限不可能突破四秒，但是羅杰不相信，經(jīng)過年復一年的訓練，他終于在1954年5月6號重返故校是跑出了3分59秒，一時間，他成了世界的頭版，科學家失敗了、醫(yī)生失敗了的新聞寫滿在了報紙上。6周之后，澳大利亞的跑手John Landy跑完一英里用了3分57.9秒。第二年1955年，37名選手跑進了4分鐘。到了1956年超過了300名跑手跑進了4分鐘。是他們訓練更刻苦了嗎,還是鞋子了技術改進了,不，是信念。信念植根于潛意識。 Pygmalion 皮格立翁效應 Lesson six Something planted from environment in ones mind, make people act better.Question is “how can we create a positive environment for ourselves? Where we primed by positive, where we can be more happier.” 在你的環(huán)境里放置愛人的照片、讓你開心快樂的紀念物、讓你感到受激勵的歌曲、你心愛的書本、植物、藝術品、名人名言、電影 Patients and perseverance have a magic affect before which difficulties disappear and obstacle vanish. 耐心和堅持總能奇跡般的掃除困難和障礙。Adams The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men. In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer. 在嚴寒的深冬里，我終于知道心中有個不敗的夏天。那是一種永遠滿懷希望的天賦。 If one advance confidently in his direction in his dream, and endeavors to live the life which he imagined, he will meet success, unexpected in common hour.盧梭 如果一個人勇敢地堅持自己的夢想，努力實現(xiàn)自己夢想的生活，他將于成功不期而遇。 Whatever in your mind can conceive and believe, you can achieve. Whether you think you can or cant, you are right. 成功的秘訣是吸引法則，財富、地位都是被你吸引而來的，無論你相信什么，無論你想象什么。 以上的名言事實上只是部分正確，我們都知道這些離不開刻苦勤奮與堅持不懈，而且避免不了失敗以及從每次失敗中獲得的經(jīng)驗。這些信息其實都言過其實、效果甚微、甚至會造成災難性的后果。有些事情無法控制，所以說一切皆有可能，只要敢想就能實現(xiàn)，這些說法短期內(nèi)可能讓你堅定信念、體驗幸福感，但從長期看，只會讓人感到挫敗、內(nèi)疚、不快樂。而且離成功越來越遠，因為你相信如果一切是有思考決定創(chuàng)造，這種想法會成為你的心態(tài)習慣，只要有信心，錢就會滾滾而來、愛情就會降臨，這抹殺了勤奮、堅忍不拔。他也是成功幸福完美人生的組成部分。 Self efficacy自我效能 我們每個人的自尊水平也就是自信程度，對我們生活有著深遠的影響，比如我們?nèi)绾未私游铮覀內(nèi)〉玫牡匚?，成就，還有個人領域，我們會與誰結婚，我們與配偶孩子的關系，個人的幸福水平。 Self-conception is destiny. 為何精神力量會如此強大, 答案一:當我們相信一見事情能成功的時候，我們會更加全力以赴的去做 二:一致性inconsistency、心理基模 我們的心理模型要與外界現(xiàn)實一致，這會使我們感到和諧，平衡。 要實現(xiàn)平衡1. Update your schema 2. Ignore or discard external information 3. Actively seek confirmation 4. Create new reality 理想主義者的目標短期是不現(xiàn)實的，但長期目標卻是現(xiàn)實的。 悲觀主義者的短期目標是現(xiàn)實的，長期目標也是現(xiàn)實的。 對失敗的定義，不同的理解方式 我并沒有失敗5000次，我成功的找出了5000種行不通的方法。 對事物有積極理解的人，更加長壽。 現(xiàn)實realistic optimism、不現(xiàn)實的、盲目的 我們?nèi)绾螀^(qū)分現(xiàn)實與不現(xiàn)實, 找出矛盾讓矛盾化解 You must never confuse faith that you would prevail in the end, which you can never afford to loss, with the discipline to confront the most brutal fact of your current reality whatever they might be. 你不能堅信自己會最終會在輸不起的情形下取得勝利的信念，同直面這個不知有多么殘酷現(xiàn)實的行為相混淆。 Optimism passion and hard work 我相信運氣，我發(fā)現(xiàn)我越努力工作，我的運氣越好。 過高的希望導致失望 If we have higher expectation ,we much more likely hurt our self-esteem 第七課 1. Action Put ourselves above the line, have high self-esteem Because hard work and coping inevitably leads to success Successconfidencemotivates Failure works also in a similar way to our physical immune system, when we get sick, our body sense anti-bodies, and we actually immune to whatever it is that we had, so our body become immunize through failure. Same on the psychological level, failure is underrated. Fail more, and couple with that, we should learn to interpret it in a different way than most of us interpret failure. 學會用不同的方式去詮釋失敗?！癷ts not all my fault” There is no other way to success, a spiral with ups and downs, not a straight line. “to dare is to lose ones footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose one self.” 2. Imaginary -visualization Prepare, Prepare, Prepare, and then be spontaneous. 當我看見某件東西時，我腦子里的視覺皮層被激活，而當我閉上眼睛的時候，我腦子里仍然可以出現(xiàn)那景象，是因為神經(jīng)元的激活。換句話說，我們的腦子無法區(qū)分真實的事物和想象的事物。 我可以欺騙腦子假想得到的事情，大腦不喜歡不一致性,堅持不懈將會是想象成為現(xiàn)實。 不僅僅只關注結果，要視覺化過程。 I have a dream 3.cognitive therapy 認知療法 Event-evaluation(thought)emotion 改變評估 第二步 3M Magnifying-its exaggerating something that happens. Over generalization. Minimizing-tunnel vision 視野隘口 Making up-捏造 幸福的人經(jīng)歷過同樣多的痛苦，然而他們對失敗對痛苦的詮釋不同，造成了心理上的恢復速度不同，以及往后人生的不同。 Benefit finder find the miracle in the common. Cognitive reconstruction is about learning to interpret things optimistically. Much of what we experience, we co-create. 第八課 Question1: Why arent more people optimistic? Most people think optimism are detached Media lead us focus on negative, and magnify it. Question2: How do I become optimistic? Be grateful, do not take good things for granted How to maintain freshness 1 vibrate 2 put your mind 3 visualize第九課 Macro level Be grateful, you will not take things for granted. Visualize your beautiful If the stars would shine once in a thousand years, we would all look up and prays the glory of this world. But they shine Everyday we take it for granted. Its 21 days to change a habit. Start today, tip away the excess stone 生命中重要的人，他們?yōu)榱宋易隽耸裁矗覒撛鯓痈兄x他們,電話。信件。 感恩是雙贏，一方面付出的人得到了安慰，另一方面自己也能繼續(xù)得到別人的付出。 寫下消極的情緒，就是分析痛苦，治療痛苦。 思考消極情緒，down work spiral，narrowing constrict Think our happiness，write our sadness. Change! Introduces a habit I want take exercise three times a week, each time 30 minutes. Concept of neuroplasticity. Every time a connection is made between neurons-in other words, your thought pattern follows a certain path. That path grows, just like river, each time water passes there, it gets this much wider. And when there is no water there, there is no work being done in the neuron, its shrinks a little bit. So neural pathways grow with use and they shrink when there is no use. The neural pathways are self-reinforcing. Just like rivers are. Think about it: when it rains, when there is a down pour, the water gravitates toward the existing river, toward the channels, toward the drains that we built. Its much less likely to create a new river or new stream with theres nothing before. So the experience is much likely to gravitate to already established neural pathways and strengthen it further, as opposed to create a new neural pathways, so if we want remember something, its very good to make connection to other things, to existing neural pathways, to existing memories. 理解神經(jīng)可塑性 神經(jīng)鏈接術 訓練就是打通已有的大腦神經(jīng)連接，通過不斷的練習，加強鞏固原有的連接，將神經(jīng)元連接保留。 Gradual change，is the change we mostly see in the world, its the healthy change. There is no quick fix. It takes times. However, the change process can be as enjoyable as the outcome. The acute change, dont take much time. Its happens immediately. The acute change is not a quick fix. The acute change, very often, takes a lot of preparation, metaphorically speaking-you need a lot of strength to pick up the hammer and to have the power to put it down. Both take time. The belief that we can rely on shortcuts to gratification and bypass the exercise of personal strengths and virtue is folly. It leads to legions of humanity who are depressed in the middle of great wealth and starving to death spiritually. There is no quick fix. Its takes time. It takes time to change. However, the change process can be as enjoyable, as fun, as exciting as ultimately achieving the change. When something repeats again and again, its will become habit.Grateful is the parents of all virtues. Take a minute twice a day to focus on what is going on around you, take a minute when you on your way to class to look at the beautiful grass, beautiful trees, beautiful snow, take a minute in the evening to reflect and think about the day you had, and write down the things for which you are grateful. Today over lunch just by a little bit slower than you do normally and taste. Because what we dont appreciate unfortunately depreciates. We dont need to wait for a threat, for a tragedy, for us to appreciate whats all around us and within us. What reminds me constantly, my surrounding, the reminder that I have always in front of my eyes, in a picture of my family and particularly, of my grandmother in the middle. 作業(yè):使用積極心理學進行干預生活的事項，選擇一個主題，寫下報告。 Connect with story.Lesson ten Change is that neither is quick-fix. Even when we pick up that sledge hammer, we need to do a lot of work before the preparation. 把一天中最后的十分鐘檢驗，今天應該完成的事情是否完成，是否在剔除多余的石頭。 Do I, do you really want to change? Do I really want to improve certain things in my personality or character, or behavior, things that I dont like. Often on the conscious level we may saying yes, but on the subconscious level something is stopping us. 我想擺脫古板的性格，但潛意識中言行一致的理念卻與之相連，使得我無法擺脫。 冷酷是因為我將嚴肅認真極端化 輕易相信別人，是因為我自己不要愿意丟掉值得他人去信任的優(yōu)點 Perfectionism is associate with drive and ambition. One of the most significant barrier to peoples happiness is that they associate happiness with slacking off, because the dominant paradigm, the dominant mantra in our culture today is “no pay, no gain.” If Im in happy now, I ignore experiencing pain, it means Im letting go. It means Im not gonna successful. Its means Im gonna lose my drive and ambition. So our subconscious level chose to be no happy. So that we dont lose the other things that we value highly. Actually success is associate with positive emotion. 更好的理解各種品質(zhì) 我想讓自己更加的開朗活潑，但我我潛意識里害怕自己會失去成熟有品味的品行。你根本不會，把嬰兒留下，把洗澡水倒掉。前提是我們要搞清楚我們到底想改變什么。 The gradual change is mindful meditation. Mindful meditation is arguably the most powerful intervention for bringing about calm and equanimity. All of us have the capability to be mindful. All it involves is cultivating our ability to pay attention in the present moment. Mindfulness means seeing thing as they are, without trying to change them. The point is to dissolve our reactions to disturbing emotions, being careful not to deject the emotion itself. 試圖去改變他們，關鍵是要消解我們的負面情緒的反應，而非去抵制負面情緒。 冥想解除痛苦療法: Slow, quiet, gentle, exhalation, deep slow inhalation, all the way into your belly. 慢慢的輕輕地靜靜地長長的呼出來， 如果你的思緒飄走了，回到你的呼吸上來。 現(xiàn)在打開你的心眼 想象你在腦中觀察你自己的身體 你的前額、你的鼻子，眼睛，嘴巴，你的要雙腿 同時繼續(xù)保持深深地，緩慢的呼吸 在你大量自己的時候，尋找身體上比其他部位更為緊繃的部位，你感覺不適的部位，將精力集中在那，保持深呼吸，緩慢的，長久的深呼吸，當你在呼氣的時候試著想象把那種緊繃的感覺也呼出去了，放松。深呼吸，到丹田，然后讓緊張隨著呼吸離開你的身體。 Acute change PTSD創(chuàng)傷后應激障礙 Post-traumatic stress disorder. Shock treatment 休克療法 Peak experience: its a generalization for the best moment of the human being, for the happiest moments of life, for experience of ecstasy, rapture, bliss, of the greatest joy. 高峰體驗是人類生命中最精彩、最幸福、最令人神醉的時刻，欣喜若狂，極樂體驗的高度濃縮。 我發(fā)現(xiàn)這種體驗一般來自于深度美學體驗，包括創(chuàng)作時的喜悅、愛情、完美的性體驗、為人父母、自然分娩、以及其他的人生體驗。 Its wouldnt last long, its a peak. However, they can and often do have repercussions.震蕩效應 A shock treatment of ecstasy Peak experience often have consequences, they can do the same as there as psychotherapy, if one keeps his goals right, and if one knows just what he is about, and if one is conscious of what he is going toward. How to get peak experience: 1. Permission to be human. Acceptance, accepting emotions. 因為大腦中悲傷和快樂的神經(jīng)通道時同屬一路，如果我們拒絕感受悲傷，對悲傷采取壓制，同樣我們壓制了快樂的體驗。2. Mindfulness, being present. Listen to the music 3. Time 我們一天中的太多時間活在匆忙之中 作業(yè):描述自己的巔峰體驗 Behavior:立刻行動，而不是等待 Facial feedback hypothesis, if you put on a frown now or a nice gentle smile, your body chemistries are actually going to change to reflect whatever your face is showing. Sometimes joy is the source of smile, and sometimes the smile can be the source of your joy. 解釋演員入戲很深 抬頭挺胸的走路，在驕傲的環(huán)境中成長 你的昂首挺胸對外界傳遞了一個積極地信號，同時這個信號回饋了自己，更加堅定了信念。 第十一課 Fake it till we make it Those whose deeds exceed their wisdom, they wisdom shall endure. But those wisdoms exceeds their deeds, their wisdom shall not endure. 如果我們只從認知水平上去看待知識，即便有靈光乍現(xiàn)的時候，也不會發(fā)生什么，除非我們的行為跟上了 假設我們在參加學術討論或上課之前是這個水平，我們的態(tài)度變了，但行為沒變，態(tài)度會隨著時間流逝被習慣又拉回來。 所以只有我們同時改變行為，才能有實質(zhì)的改變。 To change the course of life, chose one of two basic methods. One, you can direct your energy and attention toward trying to fix your mind, find your focus, affirm your power, free your emotions and visualize positive outcomes so that you can finally develop the confident to display the courage to discover the determination to make the commitment to feel sufficiently motivated to do what it is you need to do. Or you just do it. Most of us most of time are in our comfort