American-Ways.doc

American WaysA Guide for Foreigners in the United StatesBY GARY ALTHENwith Amanda R. Doran and Susan J. SzmaniaTable of Contents pageIntroduction 1On Understanding 1How Much Generalizing Is Acceptable?2On Asking “Why?” 3How Americans See Themselves 4How Americans See Foreigners4On Describing Americans 5Part I General Ideas about American CultureChapter 1: American Values and Assumptions.6Individualism, Freedom, Competitiveness, and Privacy .7Equality .9Informality .10The Future, Change, and Progress .11 Goodness of Humanity .12Time .13Achievement, Action, Work, and Materialism .14Directness and Assertiveness.14Chapter 2: The Communicative Style of Americans .16Preferred Discussion Topics .16Favorite Forms of Interaction .17Depth of Involvement Sought .18Channels Preferred .19Level of Meaning Emphasized .23Chapter 3: Ways of Reasoning .23The Context .24The Point .25The Organization .25The Evidence .25The Cause.27Chapter 4: Differences in Customs .28Part II Specific Aspects of American Life .30Chapter 5: Politics .30The Rule of Law .31The Ideal of Compromise.32Politics Apart .32Chapter 6: Family Life .33What Foreigners Notice.33The Changing Family.33Raising Children .34Chapter 7: Education .37Guiding Ideals.38Social Forces Affecting American Education .40Issues Facing American Schools .41Advantages and Disadvantages .42Chapter 8: Religion .43The General Context .43Religion and Individual Americans .45Exceptions .45Chapter 9: The Media .46What Is American about the American Media?.46 Americans Views of Their Media.47Misconceptions the Media Promote .48Chapter 10: Social Relationships.49Meeting New People .50The American Concept of Friendship .50Relationships Prescribed by Roles .51Courtesy, Schedules, Gifts .52Chapter 11: Racial and Ethnic Diversity .53What Foreign Visitors See .54How Americans View Race and Ethnic Relations .56Austin, Texas: A Case Study .57Chapter 12: Male-Female Relationships .58Influences on Male-Female Relationships .58Male-Female Relationships in Various Settings .60Chapter 13: Sports and Recreation .63Sports .63Recreation .64Chapter 14: Driving . 65General Information .65Traffic Laws.66Attitudes about Driving . .66Chapter 15: Shopping.67Advertising .68Pricing .68Customer-Clerk Relationships.68Sales Tactics .69Procedures for Returning and Exchanging.69Private Sales .69Chapter 16: Personal Hygiene .70The Basics.71Variations .72Other Issues Concerning Hygiene .72Chapter 17: Getting Things Done in Organizations . 72Misconceptions .73Characteristics of U.S. Organizations .73Suggestions for Dealing with U.S. Organizations . .74Chapter 18: Behavior in Public Places .75Rules for Behavior in Public Places.75Communication Behaviors .76Chapter 19: Studying .76Assumptions Underlying the Higher Education System .77Student-Student Relationships .77Student-Professor Relationships .78Roommate Relationships.79Plagiarism .80 IntroductionMost Americans see themselves as open, frank, and fairly friendly. If you ask them a question, they will answer it. They have nothing to hide. They cannot understand why people from other countries should have any difficulty understanding them. Unless, of course, there are languageproblems. But most foreigners do have trouble understanding Americans. Even if they have a good command of English, most foreigners have at least some difficulty understandingwhat the Americans they encounter are thinking and feeling. What ideas and attitudes underlie their actions? What motivates them? What makes them talk and act the way they do? This book addresses those questions. The book is intended to help foreign visitorsboth those staying for a long time and those here for short visitsunderstand the natives.On UnderstandingThis book is not intended to encourage foreigners to like Americans or want to imitate them. Some visitors from abroad will have positive feelings toward most of the Americans they meet. Others will not. Some will want to remain for a long time in the United States, others will want to go back home as soon as possible. People in both these groups, however, will be more likely to benefit from their stays in the States if they understand the natives. Understand here means having a reasonably accurate set of ideas for interpreting the behavior they see. Lets look at an example, one that causes many foreigners to have negative feelings toward Americans.Tariq Nassar is Egyptian. In his society, people place a high premium on family loyalty. Obligations to parents and siblings are an important part of daily life. Tariq has come to the United States to earn a masters degree in civil engineering. Through the U.S. university he is attending, he has a “host family,” a local family that periodically invites him to their home for dinner or some other activity. The familys name is Wilson. Mr. Wilson is a middle-aged engineer. His wife works half-time in a lawyers office. Their two children, a daughter who is twenty-two and a son who is nineteen, are both university students, and one of them is attending a university in a distant state. Mr. Wilsons father died two years ago. His mother, Tariq learns, lives in a nursing home. One Sunday after having dinner with the Wilsons, Tariq goes with them to visit Mr. Wilsons mother. The nursing home is full of frail, elderly people, most of whom are sitting silently in lounge areas or lying in their rooms. A few are playing cards or dominoes in the “game room” or are watching television. Mr. Wilsons mother is obviously old, but she can move around reasonably well and can carry on a normal conversation with anyone who talks a bit louder than usual. Mr. Wilson says he visits his mother once a week if at all possible. Sometimes he has to go out of town, so two weeks will pass between visits. His wife sometimes goes along on these visits; the children rarely do, since one lives far away and the other is usually busy studying.Tariq is horrified. How can Mr. Wilson, who otherwise seems like a pleasant and generous person, stand to have his mother living in such a place? Why doesnt she live with Mr. Wilson?How can Tariq interpret Mr. Wilsons behavior? There are several possibilities: Mr. Wilson is a selfish, irresponsible person who does not understand the obligations children have toward their parents; or Mr. Wilsons mother has some medical or psychological problem that is not evident to him and that requires special care she could not get in Mr. Wilsons home; or Mr. Wilsons wife is a domineering woman who, for selfish reasons, refuses to have her husbands mother living in her house.Any of these interpretations might be correct, but there are others that are more likely to explain the situation Tariq has seen. If Tariq understood the way in which Americans are trained to behave as independent, self-reliant individuals, he would be more likely to understand why Mr. Wilsons mother was in the nursing home. He might realize that the mother may actually prefer to be in the nursing home rather than “be a burden” to her son and his family. Tariq might understand, at least to some degree, the concern for privacy that leads Americans to keep to themselves in ways people in his own country would rarely do.-1-If Tariq misinterpreted this situation, he might well become unfriendly and even hostile to Mr. Wilson and his wife. His host family relationship would end. He would then lose a good opportunity to socialize, to meet Americans in age groups other than that of his fellow students, and to learn from Mr. Wilson about the engineering profession as it is practiced in the United States.If, on the other hand, Tariq understood the factors underlying the nursing home situation in the same way the Wilsons probably do, he might go on to develop a closer and more rewarding relationship with the Wilson family.So, understanding Americans can be beneficial. Misunderstanding them can eliminate opportunities and produce negative feelings that are unwarranted. This book can help foreign visitors understand Americans and thereby better achieve their own goals while in the United States.How Much Generalizing Is Acceptable?Who are these Americans? The United States of America covers a land area of 3,618,770 square miles (9,408,802 sq. km.) and is inhabited by some 281,000,000 individuals. According to the 2000 U.S. Census, population density ranges from 1,134 people per square mile (2,564 per sq. km.) in the state of New Jersey to 1 per square mile (1.82 per sq. km.) in the state of Alaska. There are deserts, plains, marshlands,tundra, forests, and snow-covered mountains.Americas population reflects remarkable ethnic diversity. While the majority of Americans are non-Hispanicwhite, 12.5 percent of the population is Hispanic, 12 percent of the population is African American, about 4 percent is Asian, and about 1 percent is Native American. In the year 2000, there were 28.4 million foreign-born residents in the United States, representing 10 percent of the total U.S. population. Terms such as Asian American, Italian American, and Arab American are commonly used and reflect the persistence of various ethnic heritages within the U.S. There are people whose skin is labeled white, black,brown, yellow, and red.Americas population includes Catholics, Protestants of many denominations, Jews of several persuasions,Muslims, Buddhists, animists, and others. Some people believe in no supreme being or higher power. There are people who have many years of formal education and people who have nearly none. There are the very rich as well as the very poor. There are Republicans, Democrats, independents, socialists, Communists, libertarians, and adherents of other political views as well. There are lawyers, farmers, plumbers, teachers, social workers, immigration officers, computer technicians, and people in thousands of other occupations. Some live in urban areas, some in rural locations. Given all this diversity, can one meaningfully talk aboutAmericans? Probably so, if one is careful. Consider it this way: In some ways all people are alike. In some ways every person is unique. In some ways groups of people resemble each other.In some ways, all people are alike. Anatomists and physiologists study ways in which the structure and functions of the human body operate, regardless of race, religion, income, or political opinion. A human pancreatic gland knows no political persuasion.On the other hand, there are ways in which each person is unique. Psychologists study the manner in whicheach persons characteristics and experiences give rise to his or her particular attitudes and behavior.In still other ways, groups of people resemble each other. One can find common characteristics among suchgroups as physicists, mothers, Olympic athletes, and farm laborers. One can also find common characteristics among nationality groupsAmericans, Nigerians, Irish, Egyptians, and so on. Members of these nationality groups share certain common experiences that result in similarities among themeven if, like many Americans, they do not recognize those similarities themselves. Americans might all seem different from each other until you compare them as a group with the Japanese, for example. Then it becomes clear that certain attitudes and behaviors are much more characteristic of the Americans and others are farmore typical of the Japanese.The predominant ideas, values, and behaviors of “mainstream” Americans are those of the white middleclass. People in that category have long held the large majority of the countrys most influential positions. -2-They have been the political and business leaders, the university presidents, scientists, journalists, andnovelists who have successfully exerted influence on the society. American culture as talked about in this book, then, has been strongly influenced by white middle-class males.Obviously, not all Americans are white and middle class. The portion of the population that is non white isgrowing, and that growth has had some effects on the general culture. Nevertheless, societys main ideals have been forged by that middle-class white group. Members of other groups usually (not always) agree with those ideals, at least on some level. Foreign visitors can find Americans who actively oppose the ideas that generally define American culture.Foreign visitors will find many variations on the “American culture” portrayed in this book. There are, as has already been suggested, regional, ethnic, family, and individual differences. Southerners (which really means people from the southeastern states, except Florida, which is home to many transplants from northern states and from Cuba) are known for their hospitality, relatively slow pace of life, and respect for tradition. New Englanders are often regarded by Americans from elsewhere as being relatively quiet and inexpressive. Texans are deemed more forceful and openly self-confident than their relatively self-effacing compatriots from the Midwest.Variations related to ethnic background are also noticeable. Chinese Americans seem to place a higher valueon education than do Americans in general. African Americans, at least those who live in mainly black communities, tend to be more verbally and physically expressive than do white Americans. So do Italian Americans.Growing up in ethnically and culturally different situations, Americans learn the attitudes and behaviors of theirfamilies. Families may vary in the way they respond