小學(xué)生幽默英語故事

1、小學(xué)生幽默英語故事There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? Thats so expensive for this kindof parrot.” The owner said, “Because I hav

2、e trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. Thats why hes so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the thir

3、d one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shopsaid, “I dont know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him The Boss.”老板最大有個人到一間商店買鸚鵡。店里有三只鸚鵡，其中一只賣五千元，另一只賣一萬元，還有一只賣三萬元。顧客問老板：為什么這只要賣五千元？這個價錢對這種鸚鵡來說太貴了！

4、老板說：因為我有訓(xùn)練他講話。顧客又問：那這只呢？他會做什么？為什么要賣這么貴？老板說：他除了會說話之外，還會表演一些有趣的動作，好比說跳舞等等，所以才賣這么貴。顧客接著又問：那第三只呢？他會做什么？為什么要賣這么貴？老板說：我不知道。我從沒聽過他講話、吹口哨或唱歌，也沒看過他跳舞，什么都沒有！不過另外兩只叫他：老板！Where is the egg?Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word egg?Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.Teacher:Then where is the “egg

5、?Student:In the cake,Sir.雞蛋在哪里？老師：你能用“雞蛋”一詞造句嗎？學(xué)生：可以。我昨天吃了一塊蛋糕。老師：“雞蛋”在哪？學(xué)生：在蛋糕里，先生Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ti

6、cket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always

7、stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.”湯姆是個小孩，他才7歲。當(dāng)他去電影院的時候。那時他第一次去。他買了張票進(jìn)去了。但沒過兩三分鐘他就出來了，然后買了第二張票又進(jìn)去了。幾分鐘后他又出來買了第三張票。接著兩三分鐘后他又出來買票。一個女的問她，“你為什么要買那么多票啊? 你見到了幾個朋友？ 沒有，我里面沒朋友，但是每當(dāng)我進(jìn)門的時候一位大的女人老把我的票給剪了Child:My uncle has 1000 men under him.Man:He is really somebody.What does do?Child:A maintenance

8、man in a cemetery他真是一個大人物小孩：我叔叔下面有1000個人。男人：他真是一個大人物。他是干什么的？小孩：墓地守墓人。Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會是一名偉人嗎？學(xué)生：當(dāng)然。因為到目前為止，還沒有人活到400多歲。Mr. Smith: Waiter, the

9、res a dead fly in my soup.Waiter: Yes, sir, I know-its the heat that kills it.史密斯先生：服務(wù)員，我的湯里有一只死蒼蠅服務(wù)員：是的，先生，我知道了，它是被燙死的Son: Dad, give me a dime.Father: Son, dont you think youre getting too big to be forever begging for dimes?Son: I guess youre right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you?兒子：爸爸，給我一角錢。父親：兒

10、子，你不認(rèn)為你已經(jīng)長大了，不該再老是一角一角地要錢了(該自立了)，不是嗎？兒子：爸爸，我想你是對的，那給我一塊錢行嗎？A little kid fell in love with another little kid, a school mate. Sometimes the kids think they fall in love when they have a crush on someone else in the class, when theyre eight or ten years old or something like that. So the eight-year-ol

11、dkid came back home and asked his father, “Father, is it expensive to be married?” And the father said, “Yes, son, it is very expensive.” So the son asked, “How much does it cost?” And the father said, “I dont know, son. Im still paying.”有個小孩愛上了另一個小孩，對方是學(xué)校的同學(xué)。八歲或十歲左右的孩子有時會迷戀班上某個人，然后就以為自己戀愛了。因此這個八歲的小

12、孩回家問他爸爸：爸爸，結(jié)婚很花錢嗎？爸爸說：是啊，兒子，非?；ㄥX。兒子又問：要花多少錢呢？爸爸說：我不知道，兒子，我到現(xiàn)在還一直在付錢??！Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected? No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it.“孩子，你為什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了嗎？”“沒有，老師?？墒悄阕蛱煺f你告訴我的知識都是一

13、個耳朵里進(jìn)，一個耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”“Im sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boys tooth .”“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”“Yes，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of

14、 the office .”“對不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元?！薄?0美元！為什么？不是說好只要4美元?！薄笆堑?，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了。”TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.老師：

15、我們都知道熱脹冷縮的道理?，F(xiàn)在，誰給我舉個例子？約翰：嗯，在夏天天都長，在冬天天都短。The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:Let me ask the evolutionist a question - if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?Ill venture an answer, said an old lady. We have worn them off sittin

16、g here so long.教進(jìn)化論的老師已經(jīng)滔滔不絕地講了快兩個小時，他的話題又來了：“讓我向進(jìn)化論者提個問題如果我們曾經(jīng)像狒狒那樣長著尾巴，那么現(xiàn)在尾巴到哪里去了？”“我來試試看，”一位老太太說?！霸撌俏覀冊谶@里坐這么久把它們磨掉了吧。”A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, I do not want to eat those apples; for

17、the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat. Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust. He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, I cannot go to the rich mans house today, for I cannot get over the river. He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them. Do not throw good things awa