child development(兒童發(fā)展心理學(xué))

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Acasestudy:theimpactofparent-childdyadonchild’ssocialcompetence

Objectivesandsignificanceofthecasestudy

Socialcompetenceisregardedasanimportantindicatorofchild’slatersocialsuccess(Rispolietal.,2013).Itstartsanddevelopsfromveryearlyageofpeople,parentsnormallyplayessentialroleinthisprocess.Child’stemperaturealsoworksinthisdevelopment.Thispaperwillmainlyfocusontheinfluenceofparent-childdyadonchild’s social competence in an effort to gain a clear understanding of theinterdependentrelationsbetweenparents,childrenandsocialcompetence.AccordingtoTri-componentModel(Cavell,1990),socialcompetencehasthreesubcomponentswith some certain hierarchical sequence. They are social performance, socialadjustmentandsocialskills.Inthepaper,weconcentrateonthelowesthierarchylevel,socialskills,includingsocialcognitiveskills,emotioncontrol,etc.Throughtheanalysisoftheinterplaybetweenparentsandchild,thispaperwillillustratehowthesefactorsaffectchild’ssocialcompetenceindetails.Finally,basedontheanalysis,suggestionswillbegivenfrombothchildrenandparentperspectives.

Backgroundofthecase

Jacklivedinanimpoverishedfamily.Asahousewife,hismotherwasbusywithdoingthehousework.Bytheageofthree,hehadalittlesister.Sincethelittlebabywassosmall,themotherputalotofeffortontendingherbesidestheheavyhomechores.Asfor the father,he had to work in another city because of domestic financeembarrassment.Everytimewhenthefatherwasathome,Jackinvitedhimtoplaybut

wasrejected.Laterafterseveraltimesofrefusal,Jackgaveuptheattempttoinvitehisfather,andhismotheraswell.WhenthemotherbroughtJackandhislittersistertocollectwasteforearningmoremoney,Jackalwaysrequestedmotherholdinghishandslikewhatshedidtotheyoungersister.Ifhismotherrefusedhisplea,hewouldeasilygetfuriousandshoutfordisagreement,alongwithaloudcry.Themother,insteadofcomfortingJack,yelledathimandgavehersonaseverelooktostophisbehavior.

Nearlyfiveyearsold,Jackenteredkindergarten.Inschool,heseldomtalkedtohisclassmates,letaloneanypublicspeech.Whenhisclassmatetriedtotalkwithhim,hegotnervousandjustrudelydroveawaythesepeople.Mostofthetime,Jackwasapttochooseacornerseat,wherefarawayfromothers.Whenaskedtoanswerquestions,hesaidnothing,loweredtheheadandblushed.Duringmomentofdoingassignments,eitherinclassorathome,Jackfeltithardtoconcentrateonthesequestions.DespiteJack’sdiligenceonstudy,he gotlowgradesinacademictests,whichalwaysmadehimburstintotears.

Analysisofthecase

FromJack’sbehaviors,hehaddifficultiesindealingwithsocialrelations.Basedonthepreviousresearches,parent-childdyadandchildsocialcompetencehassomecertainassociation(Rispolietal.,2013).Therefore,parentsandchildbecomethemainfocusesforchild’ssocialbehaviorsinthiscase.

Predicatorsofsocialcompetence

Parentingbehaviors

Akeypointforsocialcompetenceisregardedasthecapacityforconversation,whichisoftenlearnedthroughdailyverbalcommunication.(Semrud-Clikeman,2007)Beforeenteringintokindergarten,hedidnothavemuchchancetobewithothersexcepthisparents.Thus,parents,doubtless,areofgreatimportanceforchild’ssocialcognitiveskills.However,inJack’sdailylife,theinteractionwithhisparentswasrarebecausetheyhadbeenoccupiedbytheirownwork.Furthermore,Jackhadnotseenhisparentshad anyinteractionwithothersbesidesfamilymembers athome.Accordingtopreviousstatistics,overthirtypercentofsocialrelationshipofachildwasrelatedtohisparents’waysdealingwiththesocialfigures(Semrud-Clikemanetal.,2007).Technically,Jackgainedlittletrainingofsocialpractice,sohemaynothaveadequatesocialskillstostartandcontinueasocialconversation.TheactionofsteeringclearofotherpeersmaybecauseofJack’sinadequacyinconversationratherthanshowingdislikestothosepeople.

Awealthofresearchhasshownthe connectionbetweenparentnegativityandtheirchildren’ssocialcompetencethroughmediatorofemotioncontrol(Rispolietal.,2013).Itmeansthatchildrenwhohavetheparentsperformingpooremotionregulationarelessadequatetohandlenegativeemotion.Andforthosewhodonothavetheabilitytomanagetheiremotionwouldpossiblyfailinsocialinteraction. InJack’scase,economicissuesshouldbeconsidered.ToJack’sparents,familyfinancewasabigproblemsotheyhadto workextremelyhardin anefforttosupport theirfamily,whichinducedsignificantpressureonthem.Thisstressesbecameapotentialfactorthatmaytriggernegativeparenting.Butiftheparentshaveapositivewayto

controltheiremotion,thisnegativitywouldnotbetransferredtochildren.However,whenfacingwithherson’sunsophisticatedbehavior,insteadofusingaproperwaytocontrolheranxiousdesiretoearnmoney,themotherusedhighervolumeandgaveamaliciouseyetoquickstopJack’scry.Thisscenariowellexposedthemother’spoorcapabilityofemotioncontrol,whichlateraffectedJack’semotioncontrol.Andthemother’sseveresuppressionwouldposeanegativeimpactonJack’sfutureinteractionwithothers.Whenencounteringcommunicativedifficulties,Jackdroppedoffthisnervousnessjustbyexpellinghisclassmatescrudely.Thissortofbehaviorsmaygraduallyleadtobadpeerrelationshipandfailureinhissocialcompetence.

Frompsychologicalperspectives,theparentsdidnotprovideJackasavespiritshelter,asecurebase.Bowlby(1988)statedthatwiththesecurebase,thischildwouldhadconfidencetobegoodbecausehewassurethathewouldbeacceptedbyeverything.

Eventhoughundergreatpressure,hecouldcalmdownonhisownthroughpositiveselfregulation.Onthecontrary,ifthechilddidnotgetthesecurebaseduringthechildhood,hemaylose theconfidencetodothingswellsinceeverythingto himisunpredictable.InJack’sworld,nothingwasforsure,includinghisparents’love.Jack’shandrequesttohismothercouldbeseenasasignoflackingthesecurebase.

Hemaythinkthatonceheseparatedhishandfrommother’shand,hermotherwouldleavehimandhewouldbeevenlonelythanbefore.Tohim,theonlywaytogetridofthisnervousnesswasto clingtohismother’shand.Accordingtoattachmenttheory(Bowlby,1988),thelackofthesecurebasewouldmakepeopleunconfidentastheycouldnotmakesureiftheywerewelcomedbyothers.Likewise,Jackdoubtedifother

classmateswerewillingtoaccepthim.Inordertoavoidthispossiblehurtcausedbyothers’rejection,Jackchosetositatcornertoavoidanyinteractionwithothers,whichmightdirectlyledtohisfailureofsocialinteraction.Inaddition,theshortageofthesecurebasecouldalsoexplainwhyJackwassusceptibletolosehistemperexceptthebiologicalfactors.Ashedidnotgetsufficientparentalcare,hewantedmore.However,onlyintheextremeway,didtheparentspayattentiontotheignoredchild.

Jacksoughtoutattentionfromhisparents,sohecried,shoutedtodrawtheirattentiononhim.Apparently,thisextremewaymayleadtonegativesocialperformancewhichwouldafterwardhinderhissocialcompetence.

Childtemperament

Apartfromparentfactor,childrenpersealsohavesignificantinfluenceonthesocialcompetence. Semrud-Clikeman et al. (2007) conceptualized temperament asbiologicalresponsespeoplemadetocertainsocialcontexts.BasedontheBigThreeTemperamentalTraitModel(Clark&Watson,2008),therearethreemajormodelsoftemperament.Fromthedefinition,itisnotdifficulttotellthatextraversionhavemoreconnectionwithsocialcompetencethanotherssincethiskindofpeoplelikethefeelingtobewithothersandarewillingtoengageinthesocialactivities,whereasthosewithneuroticismpersonalitymayhaveproblemtogetintothesocialinteraction.However,childtemperamentisnotfixedalltheway,whichwouldbeshapedbyparenting(Lianos,2015).ThepersonalityafterJackcametoschoolwasdifferentfromthatbefore.Beforenumerousrejectionsfromhisparents,helosttheconfidencetoinvitepeople.AfterallwithonlyJack’sone-wayeffort,interactioncouldnotbe

accomplished.Thisexperiencemayimpedehislatermotivationtocommunicatewithothers,whichmightgraduallylethistemperamentmovefromextraversiontoneuroticism.

Parent-childattachment

Atveryearlyage,infantsstartedtobuildattachmentwiththeirparents,whichaffectedthoseinfantstocreatelatermentalrepresentationsofotherfigures(Bowlby,1973).Bowlby(1973)conceptualizeditasaninternalworkingmodel,whichheavilyinfluenceschildren’slatersocialinteraction.Inaccordancetoattachmenttheory,themodelofselfandmodelofattachmentfiguresarecloselyrelated(Bowlby,1973),andtheytogethershapechild’sstylesofsocialperformance.InJack’scase,theparentswerethemainsourceoftheattachmentfiguresmodel.Fromparents’rejectiontoplaywiththeirson,thesonwasproneto regardthisbehaviorasparents’disliketohim.Parents’invariablerefusalsuggestedaninsecureattachmentbetweenparentsandthechild.Then,hemight jumptoaconclusionthathewaswelcomed. Simultaneously,thisconsciousnessofunpopularitywouldbeaddedtohisselfconcept,whichisknownasthemodelofself.TheperceivedinformationblockedJack’sintensiontoothers.WhenotherclassmatescametotalkwithJack,hewasalert.Becausehehadbeenpreoccupiedbytheknowledgethathewasnotwelcomedbyanyoneandifsomeoneattemptedtoapproachhim,Jackmightbehostiletothosepeopleanddoubttheirintension.Inanefforttoavoidpotentialtricks,headoptedavigilantattitudetothem.

Obviously,thishostilewayisnotwelcomedinthesociety.Itmightevenleadtoa

viciouscircle,themorehewasagainsttoothers,themorehewouldbeexcludedfromthepeergroup,whichinturnconsolidatedhispreviousknowledgethathewasunwelcomed.Nodoubt,thiscirclehasanegativeimpactonchildren’sinvolvementinsocialactivities.Actually,thecirclewaspossiblycausedbytheinsecureattachmenttotheparents.Basedontheaboveanalysis,theparent-childattachmentwouldindirectlyaffectchild’ssocialcompetence.

Suggestions

Fromthepreviousanalysis,wecouldsaythatthefactorofparent-childdyadisoneofthereasonsthataffectchild’ssocialcompetence.Thewordofdyadsuggestedthatthecapabilityofsocialinteractionisnotsimplyinfluencedbyoneside.Infact,bothparentsandchildworkinthisissue.Thus,thesuggestionswillbegivenfromthesetwoperspectives.

Parentsensitivityandresponsiveness

Actually,Jackneedsasecurebaselikeamentalsupport,whereprovidesasafehavenforhisspirit.Withthissecurebase,onewouldbeoptimisticevenundergreatadversityasthispersonownstheconfidencetodealwithitwell.Parentbehaviorisofgreat significance to establishment of the secure base. They are supposed tosensitivelydetectchildren’sneedsandresponsethempromptlyandproperly(Juffer,2014).Itmeansthatparentsrequirenotonlysensitivitybutalsoresponsiveness.Thesetwotraitstightlyconnecttochildren’strustwithparentsandthus facilitateasecureparent-childattachment.However,whenJackmadeahand-in-handpleatohismother,themothercouldn’tbesensitiveenoughtorealizeJack’sinnerdesire,

maternallove.Instead,shemaythinkthatJack’sdemandwassimplybecauseofkid’smischievousnessandnaughty.Forthesakeofchildhealthydevelopment,theparentsshouldprovidesecureattachmenttoJackbynoticingthatJackwaseagerforparentalloveandshowthisparentallovetoJackexplicitlybykissinghim,hugginghim,joininghimandsoonandsoforth.Thekeythingistolethimknowthathewasnotalone,hisparentsarewithhim.OnlywhenJackgetasecureattachmenttohisparents,couldhebeconfidenttotakepartinsocialactivities.

Properreleaseofnegativeemotionforchildren

ToJack,heshouldfindaproperoutlettoreleasehisnegativeemotion.WhenJackfeltbad,hetendedtousenegativewaystogetridofthisfeelingsuchascrying,shouting,hiding,etc.However,theresultsofthosenegativewayscouldnotreallyhelphimtoeliminatethepassiveemotion,butmakethesituationevenworse.Ahealthyoutletisverycrucialtotheemotionexpressions.Jackcoulddevelopinterestsonsports.Forexample,whensensinganervousfeeling,hecouldruntoreleasethisdiscomfort.Duringthisrunningperiod,hemightfindsomeonewhoalsohassufferedfrompassivefeelings.Frommypersonalexperience,peerswithsimilarexperiencesaremorelikelytobuildupfriendshipsincetheymaybemorepossibletounderstandeachotherthanothers.Inthisway,Jackwouldgraduallyknowperspectivetalking,considerthingsfromother’sstand,andthusmastersomesocialskills,whichwouldcontributetohissocialcompetence.

References

Bowlby,J.(1984).Attachmentandloss(2nded.).