作文講評(píng)1-How to protect animals in danger完整版

HowtoProtectAnimalsinDanger?EnglishWriting作文講評(píng)(Ⅰ)HowtoProtectAnimalsinDanger?寫作提示：全世界有794種野生動(dòng)物，但是有300余種瀕臨滅絕。原因之一是它們的生存環(huán)境不斷惡化；原因之二是人類的捕殺。保護(hù)這些野生動(dòng)物可以維護(hù)生態(tài)平衡，也是保護(hù)人類自己。目前，許多國(guó)家已經(jīng)制定了相關(guān)法律，或建立了一些相關(guān)組織來保護(hù)瀕危動(dòng)物。我們每一個(gè)人都應(yīng)該盡自己的責(zé)任來參與其中。HowtoProtectAnimalsinDanger?寫作要求：請(qǐng)以“HowtoProtectAnimalsinDanger?”為題，寫一篇60～80詞的作文。要求包括如下要點(diǎn)：Howdifficultisthesituation?Whyshouldweprotectthem?Whatcanwedotoprotectthem？同學(xué)們的寫作中出現(xiàn)的較嚴(yán)重的問題：1.跑題：不少同學(xué)都只拿大熊貓或者華南虎等某一種瀕危動(dòng)物來說明瀕危動(dòng)物的全貌，以偏概全，未扣主題；2.抄襲嚴(yán)重：抄寫網(wǎng)上類似內(nèi)容、抄同學(xué)的作品、摘抄課本內(nèi)容的同學(xué)很多，沒有自己的看法、觀點(diǎn)；3.條理不清、詳略不當(dāng)，未按要求書寫：本文的寫作重點(diǎn)應(yīng)該是第二部分“我們應(yīng)該怎么做來保護(hù)瀕危動(dòng)物”；4.語法錯(cuò)誤太多，寫作水平低。HowtoProtectAnimalsinDanger?范文：

Thereare794kindsofwildanimalsintheworld.However,about300kindsofthemareindangernow.Ofcoursetherearelotsofreasonsforit.Oneofthemaincausesistheenvironmenttheyliveisgettingworseandworse,andtheotherishumanbeings'killing.HowtoProtectAnimalsinDanger?

Animalareourfriends.Theycouldhelpkeepthenatureinbanlance.Ifonekindofthemisdisappeared,theotheranimalswillbeaffected.Sodohumanbeings.Toprotectanimalsistoprotactourselves.HowtoProtectAnimalsinDanger?

Asstudents,weshoulddoourbesttoprotecttheenvironmentfromverylittlethings.,suchasdon'tthrowgarbageeverywhere,andstoptakingawaytheirland,sothatanimalhaveagoodplacetolivein.Thegovernmentshouldsetupmorenatureparkstofeedmoreendangeredanimals,andcallonpeopletostopkillinganimalsformoneyorforfood.Andlaydownlawstopunishpeoplewhohuntinganimalsillegally.HowtoProtectAnimalsinDanger?Allofusshoulddoourbesttohelpprotect