英語搞笑小品劇本

Characters:NarratorN,SalesmanS,DadD,MaggieM,AliceA,CandyC,PolicemanPPreparation:學校布景,做糖果用桌及相關(guān)材料,小販家布景Scene1AtSalesman’shomeN:Inadarkdirtyhouse,therelivedasmall,dirtysalesman.Healwaysmakesunhealthycandiesandsellsthemtothestudents.Hehasalotofmoneynow.ButhowdoeshemakethecandiesOh,xu……HeiscomingS:Hello,doyouknowmeNoOh,letmetellyou.I’mthefamouscandysalesmanattheschoolgate.Mycandiesareverypopular,展示,Idon’tknowwhy.Thefoolishstudentsalwayscomehere.I’llbeabosssoonCandy,money,candy,money……OopsIt’stimetomakecandiesnow.看表First,puttheflouronthetable.Then,water,sugar,flour.邊說邊做Nowpress,press……Oh,mydirtyhandsNevermindJustdoit滿不在意的神情Press,press……Oh,mygod鼻涕NevermindJustdoitPress,press,thechildrenwillnotknowit,it’sOK,hehehe……NowletmecutitintopiecesOne,two,three,four,five……用臟菜刀Wow,everythingisready糖果鉆出來跳舞,跳完后,非常難過地說：Oh,I’msodirtyanduglyWhatcanIdoThestudentswilleatmeAndtheywillbeillWuwuwu…S:Mmmm…Itlooksdirty,letmegiveyouanicecoat給它穿上WowNowit’ssobeautifulHaha……C:Oh,noDon’tsellmeI’mdirty拖糖果下場Scene2AttheschoolgateN:Thenextday,whentheclassisover,allthestudentscomeouthappilyandthesalesmangoestotheschoolgateasusual.Maggie和Alice歡快地跑出校門,看到小販小販拉著糖上場,吆喝：CandiesCandiesSweetcandies……M:Oh,AliceLookCandiesA:YeahIthinktheyareyummyM:Let’saskhim.A:OKC:Don’tbuyme非常焦急M&A:WhyC:I’mdirtyM:No,youlookniceC:WhatcanIdo面向觀眾Wuwuwu…小販將她拉在后面S:CandiesCandies引誘兩個女孩M&A:HowmucharetheyS:Doyouhavemoney輕蔑M&A:Money對視M:Oh,I’venomoney失落之極A:Metoo.S:NomoneySosorry吆喝著走開,下場M:WhatcanwedonowA:Let’saskdadformoney.M:ButhowtoaskA:How…Oh,Iknow,let’smakehimhappy,andhewillgiveusmoney.自信M:Goodidea全部下場Scene3:AtMaggie’shomeN:Thechildrenhavetogohomeandaskdadforsomemoney,andtheyknowtheirfatherisgoodatplayingguitar,sotheywilldosomethingclever.爸爸看報M:Dad,dad,let’ssingasong,OK同時Alice去取吉他準備拿給爸爸A:AndplaytheguitarforusM:Weknowyouplaysowell爸爸詫異地看著孩子D:OhWhatabrightdaytodayM&A:Please,dad哀求D:OKOKLet’s.取吉他,開始準備D:WhichsongdoyoulikeHowaboutEdelweissM&A:Ofcourse開始彈,第一段孩子隨節(jié)奏起舞,第二段孩子開始輕聲討論起來“youfirst”之類的話,爸爸停止彈琴;D:What’sthematterM:Dad,wehavenomoneyA:CanwehavesomepleaseD:Ithinkyouhavelotsofpocketmoney,andyoudon’tneedanymore.M:Iwanttobuysomecandiesattheschoolgate.A:TheylooksosweetandniceM:OtherstudentsalwaysbuythemD:But……Youcan’tTheyarequiteunhealthy.Pleasegoanddoyourhomework..置之不理,轉(zhuǎn)頭看報,孩子回到房間M:WhatshallwedonowA:Letmethink…well,Iknow輕聲在Maggie耳邊說M:Oh,youaresocleverLet’sgo.回到爸爸身邊M:Dad,IwantaneweraserA:IwantalongerrulerM&A:Dad,pleaseD:Thingsareexpensivethesedays.WehavetosavemoneyM:Butdad,myeraseristoosmallnow拿出破橡皮來給爸爸看A:Andmyrulerisbroken.拿出斷尺D:OK,children.Ibelieveyouthistime,makesure,don’tbuythefoodattheschoolgate.It’sunhealthyDoyouknowM&A:Yes,sirD:Hereyouare給錢M&A:Thanksverymuch,dadBye非常高興,下場N:Thenextday,whentheclassisover,MaggieandAlicecometothesalesmanagain.Theyarehappytobuythecandiesandthenhavethem,butsoontheyfeelastomachache.孩子高興地買了糖,邊吃邊回家,小販下場,孩子到家后肚子痛M:Aiyo……兩人躬著背進場A:…….D:What’swrongM:I’veastomachacheA:MetooD:WhatdidyoueatThefoodattheschoolgateM:Yes.Wehadsomecandiesjustnow.A:IhadsometooD:OhYou’vecheatedmeYouboughtthecandiesinsteadoftheeraserandruler.Ialwaystellyouthatdon’tbuythefoodattheschoolgate,theyareunhealthy生氣M:ButtheylookniceA:AndtastesgoodM&A:Aiyo……D:Well,Let’sgotothesalesmantogetherandhavealookM&A:OK.Scene4:AttheschoolgateN:Whentheygettotheschoolgate,apolicemanisaskingthesalesmantogoaway.正走到校門口,發(fā)現(xiàn)警察驅(qū)趕校門口的小販P:HeyYoushouldn’tstayhere,leavenowC:Let’sgohome,let’sgohome輕聲并拉小販S:NoMycandiesareniceandpopularhereAnd…C:YouaretellingalieI’mverydirtyandunhealthyM&A:Dad,it’shimAiyo…指著小販D:He警察走過來問爸爸,朝小孩P:What’sthematterwiththemD:Theygotastomachacheafterhavinghiscandies.S:ReallyButI’veneverheardofit.And……P:Stop,stop打斷小販LookatthetwogirlsAreyouguiltyYoumustbehonestwiththestudents,anddon’tsellcandiesanymore.非常嚴厲S:OK.Iknow.羞愧C:Let’sgohome.Let’sgohome.Policeman對小孩:Girls,pleaselistenDon’tbuythecandiesnexttime.Theyarebadforyourhealth.D:Yes,heisright.Andyoushouldn’ttellalietome.TrytobeanhonestpersonWillyouM&A:OK,dadP:Let’stakethemtothehospitalnow.D:OK,Let’sgo.N出場:Afewdays