家庭價值觀分析研究On Difference of the Family Values between Chinese and American in The Joy Luck Club

OnDifferenceoftheFamilyValuesbetweenChineseandAmericaninTheJoyLuckClubContentsAbstract 1ChapteroneIntroduction 1ChapterTwoAmyTanandCreationBackground 22.1AmyTanandTheJoyLuckClub 22.2BackgroundofTheJoyLuckClub 3ChapterThreeDifferencesofFamilyConceptandStatusbetweenChineseandAmerican 53.1Chinesefamilyconceptandstatus 53.2Americanfamilyconceptandstatus 6ChapterFourDifferencesofMarriageViewsbetweenChineseandAmerican 84.1Differencesinfreedomofspouseselection 84.2Differencesinthepurposeofmarriage 94.3Differencesinmaritalstatusbetweenhusbandandwife 11ChapterFiveDifferencesofFamilyEducationViewsbetweenChineseandAmerican 125.1Chinesefamilyeducationviews 125.2Americanfamilyeducationviews 15ChapterSixReasonsforDifferencesofFamilyValuesbetweenChineseandAmerican 166.1IndividualismVScollectivism 166.2AhighpowerdistanceVSalowpowerdistance 18ChapterSevenConclusion 19References 19Acknowledgements 20OnDifferenceofFamilyValuesbetweenChineseandAmericanInTheJoyLuckClubAbstract:TheJoyLuckClub,asanEnglishmasterpieceofthesecondgenerationofChineseimmigrantwriters,isanexcellentmodelforstudyinganddiscussingfamilyvaluesbetweenChinaandtheUnitedStates.Therearesignificantdifferencesintermsoffamilyconceptandstatus,marriageconceptandfamilyeducationconcept.Thefundamentaldifferenceoffamilyvaluesliesinthedifferenceofculturalinheritance.InthecontextofinterculturalcommunicationbetweenChinaandtheUnitedStates,itisofgreatguidingandpracticalsignificancetocomparethedifferencesoffamilyvaluessuchasfamilyethics,educationandmarriage,andtoshowtheirrespectivestrengthsandweaknessesinordertoovercometheobstaclesininterculturalcommunication.Thispaperexaminestheunderlyingcausesofthedifferencesinfamilyvaluesbetweenthetwocountrieswiththehistoricalviewofhumanholism,aimingatdeepeningmutualunderstandingandincreasingexchangesbetweenthetwocountriesandbuildingamoreharmoniousworld.KeyWords:familyvalues;marriageview;familyeducationviewChapteroneIntroductionAccordingtoAmericansociologistMarkHertel,“Familycultureismadeupofpeople’suniquenormsandvaluesconcerningmarriageproposal,marriage,divorce,kinshipidentityandresponsibility,children'ssocialization,residenceandfamilystability”(Hertel,1938,15).Inthelonghistoryofaccumulation,everysocietyandculturederivesitsfamilyvalueswithnationalandsocialcharacteristics.Becauseofthedifferentideologicalbasisandculturaltraditions,ChineseandAmericanfamilyculturescontaindifferentvalues,pursuedifferentwaysofbehavior,andhavetheirowndistinctcharacteristics.Chinesefamilyvaluesfocusonfamilyrelationsandethicalrelationshipsamongfamilymembers,suchasgoodnessoffather,filialpietyofson,orderofelderandyounger,obedienceofawifetoherhusband,etc.AsthemoralnormonwhichChinesepeopledependfortheirsurvival,thethreeoutlinesandfiveconstantsvirtueshavebeendeeplyembeddedintheheartsofeverydescendantofYanhuang,andtheircoreconceptsarefilialpiety,fromwhichtheconceptofmarriage,educationandchastityhavebeenderived.InfluencedbytraditionalEuropeanreligions,especiallyProtestantism,Americanshavebasicallynofamilymodelofthreeorfourgenerationsinthesamehall,northesenseoffilialpietyofChinesepeople.Theirfamilyconcepthighlightsequalityforall,individualindependenceandthesacrednessofrights.Asasecond-generationimmigrant,AmyTan,theauthorofTheJoyLuckClub,struggledwithhermarginalidentityanddifferentfamilyvaluesinChinaandtheUnitedStates.Basedontheexperienceofhergrandmotherandmother,shewrotethenovelTheJoyLuckClub,inwhichthedelicatedepictionofthesubtlefeelingsbetweenmotheranddaughtercausedasensationoncethenovelwaspublished,andwasunanimouslypraisedbythepublicandthecritics.FocusingonthecontradictionbetweenthemotherdeeplyinfluencedbyChinesetraditionalcultureandtheirdaughterswhogrewupinthemainstreamAmericanculture,thenoveldescribestheconstantrebellionandstruggleofChinese-AmericanwomenundertheattackofChineseandAmericanculturesinordertofindthesecondgenerationofimmigrants.Fromacross-culturalperspective,thegapbetweenmotheranddaughterdepictedinthenovelisessentiallytheresultofthecompatibilityandexclusionbetweenChineseethicalcultureandAmericanmainstreamculture.IntheprocessofformingtheculturalidentityofChineseAmericans,thedifferentfamilyvaluesofbothcountriesplayanindispensablerole.StartingfromtheintroductionofAmyTanandcreationbackground,thispaperintroducestheeducationalandmarriageviewsofTheJoyLuckClub,andexplainsthereasonsforthedifferencesbetweenChineseandWesterncultures,whichwillhelpustodevelopourowncultureandgetalongwellwithotherculturesinthefuture.ChapterTwoAmyTanandCreationBackground2.1AmyTanandtheJoyLuckClubAmyTanwasbornintheUnitedStatesin1952andstudiedmedicineinhermiddleage,butduringthisperiodAmyTanfoundthatshewasnotinterestedinstudyingmedicine,soshegaveupit.Instead,shelikestostudyliterature,whohasacertaintalentinliterature,thusshestudiedlinguisticsatSanJoseStateUniversity.Duringthisperiod,sheachievedexcellentresultsandreceivedscholarships.However,shewasnotsatisfied,thenshestudiedattheUniversityofCaliforniaforadoctoraldegree.Andsurprisingly,shegaveupherstudiesinthesecondyearofherPh.D.andofficiallystartedhernovelcreation.Duetocontinuousefforts,hernovel“TheJoyLuckClub”cameoutin1989,andshockedtheentireliteraryworld.DuetoAmyTangrewupintheUnitedStatesandacceptedsomeadvancedculturaleducation,whichdohelphernovelcreationinthefuture.SinceshereceivedAmericaneducationfromchildhoodtoadulthood,shehadmanymisunderstandingsaboutChineseculture,butshealsotransmittedthetraditionalChineseculturalexcellencetosomewesterncountriesandpromotedtheculturalexchangeandintegrationbetweenChinaandtheWest.AlthoughAmyTanhasacertainChineseancestry,shegrewupintheUnitedStates,andthecultureshereceivedwasmainlyAmericanculture,therefore,hervaluesandwaysofthinkingarethesameasthoseofAmericans,whichmakesshehasacertainobjectiveviewonChineseculture.However,intheUnitedStates,whichisfullofracialdiscrimination,AmyTanisextremelydissatisfiedwiththis,shehopestoeliminateracialdiscrimination,andeveryraceisequal.Andinthemeanwhile,shehopesthattheChinesepeoplecanberecognizedbytheAmericans,thussheneedstoshapetheimageoftheChinesepeople,toshowtheexcellentsideofChineseculture.AmyTantellstheimageofChinaintheformofnovelsandpresentsChina’sexcellentsidetotheWesterncountries,whichcanbettermeetthepsychologicalexpectationsofWesterners,andacceleratetheexchangeandcommunicationbetweenChineseandAmericancultures,sothattheUnitedStatescanbetterunderstandChineseculture.Intheprocessofcreatingnovels,AmyTan’smaincontentistodescribetheemotionsbetweenmotheranddaughter,andhernovelistonarratetherelationshipbetweenmotheranddaughterofChinese-Americanwomencenteredonherself,whichreflectsthedifferencesofculturalidentitybetweenparents,anditalsohelpssomewesterncountriestounderstandChineseculturebetter.AmyTan’snovel“TheJoyLuckClub”ismainlyaboutthestorybetweenmotheranddaughter,fromthisstory,familyvaluesarebetterreflected.DuetoAmyTanisnotapureChineseoranAmerican,soshecanbetterintegrateChineseandAmericancultures,whichwillhelptostrengthentheexchangebetweenChineseandAmericanculturesandpromoteWesterncountriestobetterunderstandChineseculture.2.2BackgroundoftheJoyLuckClubSincethe1960s,theUnitedStateshasbeenyearningforfreedom,andinordertobetteradapttotheenvironmentofAmerican,theyhaveworkedhardtolearnAmericanculture,whichcanbecomeaformalmemberoftheUnitedStatesandbetterintegrateintoAmericanlife.However,inthenovel“TheJoyLuckClub”,itmainlydescribesthewayChineseliveintheUnitedStates,inordernottobeexcludedbyAmericans,theytrytolearnAmericanculture.Inthe1960s,thecivilrightsmovementwascarriedoutintheUnitedStates,whichgreatlyarousedthenationalconsciousnessofAmericanChinese,theyopposedracialdiscrimination,andmadeaseriesofcampaignstosafeguardtheirlegitimaterightsandinterests.AsaChineseAmerican,AmyTanisopentothepublicandbelievesthattheyareAmericansandshouldenjoythelegitimaterightsandinterestsoftheUnitedStates.Therefore,themaincontentofhernovelsistoexpresstheyearningfortheUnitedStatesandhopetointegrateintoAmericanlife,anditalsoexpressesthebeautyoftheUnitedStatesandneglectsthedescriptionofChina,inhereyes,Chinaisaverydistantcountryanddoesnotbelongtoher.In1989,inthemulticulturalAmericansociety,globalizationbroughtmanychancesculturalchallengestoChina.AnunprecedenteddevelopmenthappenedinAmericaduringthe20th.Therapiddevelopmentoneconomyfacilitatedworldwideimmigration.EveryonehasoneAmericandream,therearemanydifficultiesinrealizingtheAmericandream.Inthenovel“TheJoyLuckClub”,themaindescriptionsofChinesewomen’slifeexperiencesintheUnitedStates,whohaveexperiencedaverypoorlifeandstruggledwithracialdiscrimination.Generally,ChinesewomenworkinChinatownintheUnitedStatesandengageinsomelow-levelmanuallabor.Thewarhashadagreatimpactonthem,duetotheydidn’tknowEnglish,lifewashardforthemintheUnitedStates.Becauseofthedifferentcultures,theyarediscriminatedagainstandoppressedbyAmericans.However,theycanonlyusewordstoexpresstheirdissatisfactionwithracialdiscriminationintheUnitedStates,althoughtheywanttointegrateintoAmericanlife,alltheycandoisexpresstheirinnerfeelingsthroughwords.Afterescapingfromthemiseryoflife,mothersintheUnitedStatesgavegreathopetotheirnextgeneration.TheypreferredtoendurethepainfulexperiencestheyhadexperiencedaloneandnevermentionedwhattheyhadexperiencedinChinatotheirdaughters.InordertoenabletheirdaughterstointegrateintoAmericansocietymorequickly,althoughtheyspeakpoorEnglish,theyencouragetheirdaughtersnottospeakChinesebutEnglish,hopingthattheycanbecomearealAmericaninthefuture.However,itispreciselybecauseoftheirtragicexperiencethattheyhaveplacedtoomuchhopeontheirdaughters,causedgreatpressureontheirdaughters,madethemrebellious,whobeganalongperiodofalienationfromtheirmothers.Daughtersneverreallyknowtheirmothers.Mothers’dreamsarepinnedontheirdaughters,whosealienationmakestheirdreamsunreachable.Mothers’arrivedintheUnitedStateswiththeirdifferentpast,searchingfortheirownworldintheirownuniqueway,fightingfortheirdreamsandspreadinghope.ChinesewomenlivingintheUnitedStates,theyreceivedAmericaneducationfromanearlyage,theyareveryeagertobefreeandliberate.Duetotheirparentsarefeudalandtraditional,itisdifficulttogetridofthebondageoftheirparents,inordertobetterintegrateintoAmericanlife,theymarrywhitepeople.Duetoculturaldifferences,therearemanyproblemsintheprocessofmarriagethataffectthelivesofChinesewomen.Inaddition,theculturaldifferencesalsomakethemalienatetheirparents.WhentheycametotheUnitedStates,theywereveryeagertoliveintheUnitedStatesandgettheidentityoftheAmericans.However,duetotheculturaldifferencesbetweenChinaandtheUnitedStates,itisdifficultforthemtoliveintheUnitedStates.Inthenovel“TheJoyLuckClub”,itismainlyaboutdepictingChinesewomeninordertobetterliveintheUnitedStates,gettheidentityofAmericans,andmarrywhites,butthemainpurposeofmarryingwhitesandgettingtheidentityofAmericansiswrong.Itisthroughthecontradictoryandconflictstoriesofseveralpairsofimmigrantmothersanddaughtersintheirdailylivesthattheculturalvaluesbehindthegreatconflictbetweenthetwogenerationsofimmigrantsarenarrated.Inaddition,thedescriptionandshapingofsomecharactersinthenovelalsoshowsthegreatdifferencesbetweenChineseandAmericancultures.ChapterThreeDifferencesofFamilyConceptandStatusbetweenChineseandAmerican3.1ChinesefamilyconceptandstatusTherearecertaindifferencesbetweenChineseandAmericancultures,especiallyinthefamily.InChina,familiesarewarmandcanprovideasafeplace,andChinesepeopleliveonafamily-centeredbasis.Ifawomanlosesherhusband,shewouldfeelveryhelpless,butthefamilywillgivehersomehelp,sothefamilyisveryharmoniousandfascinating.(LinYutang,2008,28).ThefamilyisvitaltotheChinese,intheireyes,thefamilyisveryhappy,andwhenyouarehelpless,youcangetthefamily’sshelter.Inthenovel,Amywasborninawealthyfamilyandlivedwithhergrandmothersinceshewasachild,buthisfatherdied,soshelivedwithhergrandmother.However,LuoYingisanativeofJiangsu,whenshewasachild,shewouldreturntohishometownjointhemeetingduringtheMid-AutumnFestival.Therefore,thefamilyisveryimportantfortheChinese.(Amy,2003,55).InChineseculture,thefamilyisvitaltotheChinese,andthesuccessofapersoniscloselyrelatedtothefamily,andisprotectedbythefamily.TheJoyLuckClubalsohasmanymanifestationsinthisrespect.Amy’smotherbecameanconcubine,whichwasagreatshametoallthefamily,soshewasbanishedfromherhome.However,whenGrandmawasabouttodiesoon,hermothercamebackhomewithhercoldeyesandmockery,evencuttingmeatfromherarmtogiveherstew,hopingthatanunknownmagicwouldbringherbacktolife.Filialpietyisthefirstofallvirtues.FilialpietyisaninvincibletraditionalruleoftheChinesenation,andeventodayitisanimportantcodeofconductinChinesesociety.Althoughthereisnoclearlawtopunishunfilialpiety,thecondemnationofpublicopinionstillhasstrongmentalpressureonpeoplewhoarenotfilialpiety.Amongallthenationsintheworld,theChinesenationisoneofthemostfamily-orientednations.ThemainreasonfortheenduringChinesecultureliesinthestrongfamilyconceptofChina,whichadvocates“familyandeverythingisprosperous”athomeand“familyuglinesscannotbeexternalized”atabroad(Amy,2003,55).3.2AmericanfamilyconceptandstatusIntheprocessofcommunication,Westernersmainlyrelyonindividualsasthebenchmark.Theythinkthateveryoneisunique.Itmainlyemphasizesindividualabilityandpursuestheinterestsofindividuals.Thecoreofpursuingtheinterestsoftheindividualisthefamily.Oncethechildgrowsup,thechildisrequiredtoliveindependentlyandlivethroughhisownlabor.Intheprocess,theparentswillnotgivesomehelp.Ifpersonalinterestsandfamilyinterestsconflict,Americansareveryselfishandwillnotconsidertheinterestsofthefamily,butonlyprotecttheirowninterests.BecausetherelationshipbetweenreligionsisextremelysimpleinAmericanfamilies,generationsofpeoplelivingtogetherwillhavecertaincontradictionsintheprocess.Americansvaluetheirprivacyintheprocessofliving,andtheyfocusontheprotectionofprivacy.However,thereisabigdifferenceintheunderstandingofthefamilyinChina.Itisveryimportanttorespectfilialpietyandtoseefilialpietyasveryimportant.Americansareveryselfish.Theyareusedtodefendingtheirowninterestsandneglectingtheinterestsofthefamily.Thefreedomtheyarelongingforisverycontemptuousoffilialpiety.IntheprocessofAmericans'interaction,theymainlyrespecteachotherandunderstandeachother.TheAmericanfamily'scultivationofchildrenismainlytocultivatechildren'sindependence,encouragechildrentoearnwealththroughtheirownefforts,andusetheirowneffortstogainself-esteem.ThisisthewayAmericanseducatetheirchildren,mainlytodeveloptheirabilitytobeindependent.Unlikethefamily-basedideologyofChinesesociety,theUnitedStatesisanindividual-basedsociety.Mr.HuWenzhongoncetookhisAmericanstudentsashisresearchsubjectsinAmericanuniversitiesandmadesuchcross-culturalcommunicationdiscussions:“Inordertopreventhisparentsfrombeingbittenbymosquitoes,WuMengof24filialpietytookoffhisclothesandexposedhimselftotelltheparticipantsthestoryofmosquitoesattractedtohim.Iaskedthemiftheywoulddothisfortheirparents,andtheyallshooktheirheads.Onesaidthathemightdothisforhischildren,butcertainlynotforhisparents”(HuWenzhong,1986,89).Americanvaluesareinfluencedbydifferentculturalenvironment,whicharedifferentfromChinese.IntheUnitedStates,economic,politicalandculturalvaluesareimpactedbytheprincipleofindividualitysupremacy,andAmericanfamilyvaluesarealsoinfluencedbyit.Therefore,inAmericansociety,Theyoftenattachgreatimportancetothecultivationofpersonalitythinking,andthecollectiveconceptisrelativelylacking.FromtheperspectiveofAmericansociety,wecanseethatsuchafamilyconceptisindividual-centered,andrespectfortheindividualisatthetopofthelist.Americanchildrenbecomeindependentwhentheyareadults.Familiesareindependentindividuals.Youngpeopleusuallytaketheinitiativetoseparatethemselvesfromtheiroriginalfamiliesaftermarriage.Evenonmajorfestivals,thereisnomoralrequirementforreunion.Iftheydonotreunitewiththeirfamilies,theywillnotbecondemned.Inasense,theyrespecttherightsofindividuals.ChapterFourDifferencesofMarriageViewsbetweenChineseandAmerican4.1DifferencesinfreedomofspouseselectionMarriageisveryimportantforpeople,butthechoicetoaccompanymeisaveryimportantpartofthemarriageprocess.However,duetothedifferencesbetweenChineseandWesterncultures,therearestillgreatdifferencesinthechoicesofme..InChina,duetotheinfluenceoffeudalculture,Chinesemarriageisboundbytraditionalfeudalideology.Itisnotallowedtoengageinfreelove.Itismainlytolistentotheopinionsofparents.Thedecision-makingpowerofmarriagemainlydependsonparents.Inthisway,thetwopartiestothemarriagehavenoautonomy,andtheymustseektheconsentoftheirparents.Iftheyaremarried,theywillnotbeblessed.Thismarriageisnotrecognized.IntheprocessofmarriageinChina,matchmakerswillbeneeded.Themainroleofnooneistomatchthebridgeandmakethemarriagemorecomfortable.TheprocessofChinesemarriageismainlyfromtheprocessofengagementtomarriage.Chinesemarriageparentsandmatchmakersplayavitalroleinthesuccessofmarriage.However,intheWest,youcanchooseyourspousefreelywithoutinterferencefromyourparents.Menandwomeninlovedonotneedtointroduce,mainlythroughfreelove.Intheprocessofmakinglove,theyarenotinterferedbyanyone.Theythinkthatmarriageisapersonalproblem.Theyhavetherighttochooseaspouse.Theyhopethattheycanspendtherestoftheirliveswiththeirlovedonesandbuildafamily.Aftertheygetmarried,theytendtopayattentiontofeelings.Theywanttobeabletojointlycreatetheirownbeautifultomorrow.Iftheyfeelinappropriateinlife,theycanbeseparatedandnotaffectedbytheexternalenvironment.Waverlylongedforfreedom,hehopestobeabletochoosehisownspouseandnotfollowtheadviceofhisparents.However,hisparentsareinfluencedbytraditionalthoughtsandbelievethatmarriageshouldbedecidedbyparents.Becauseofthissituation,hechosetorunawaywithhisboyfriendtogetthefreedomofmarriage,butfinallyendedinfailure.Whenhewaswithhersecondhusband,shealsodidnotgettheapprovalofherparents.Mainlybecauselivinghabitshaveproducedcertainculturaldifferences,sohisparentsareextremelyopposed.FinallyWaverlyendedinfailureandeventuallyhewasseparatedfromhissecondhusband.ThechoiceofspousesbetweenChinaandtheUnitedStateshascertainculturaldifferences,andGongLindaandherdaughterWaverleyareinstarkcontrast.GongLindawasboundbythefamilyandlistenedtotheparents'orderstochooseaspouse.However,hisdaughterWaverlywasabletofreelychooseaspousewithoutbeingboundbyoutsidefactors.4.2DifferencesinthepurposeofmarriageThereisacertaindifferencebetweentheChineseandWesternviewsonmarriage.BecauseofthedifferentculturesbetweenChinaandtheWest,theconceptofmarriageisnotunderstood,andthepurposeofmarriagebetweenChinaandtheWestisverydifferent.InChina,duetotheshacklesoffeudalideology,themarriageofchildrenisrestrictedbytheirparents.Theparentsdecidetomarrytheirchildren.Thisistheso-calledfeudalmarriageconcept.(WuQian,2008,2).Marriageismainlybasedonfamilyinterests.ThisisthetraditionalpurposeofChinesemarriage.MarriagecanbetterextendtheChinesefamily.Menciussaid:"Therearethreewaysofnotbeingfilial,butnogenerationisgreat"(online).Nothingisbig,fromthisitcanbesaidthatmarriageismainlyforfertility,soastocarryontheancestors."TheJoyLuckClub"inthisnovel,GongLindahasalreadybeendetainedasachild,andhasbeenmarriedattheageof15,becauseMrs.Huangwantstoholdhergrandson,butseesthatGonLinda’sstomachisveryflat,heisveryangry.Askhissontoraisethechildassoonaspossibleandcarryonthefamilyforgenerations.(Amy,2003,47).Intermsofhismother,hedidnotwanttofindadaughter-in-law,lethissonanddaughter-in-lawlivehappilytoday,butLindaasachildbearingtool.Thiskindofmarriageisunhappy.Becauseofthetraditionalconceptofimprisonment,itneverconsiderswhetherthesonishappyornot,butonlyblindlyconstrains.Suchamarriageismeaningless.ItcanbeseenfromthesethatGongLinda’smarriageisforthesakeoftheHuangfamily.UnlikeChina,WesternmarriageethicsismainlybasedontheblendingofGreekcultureandHebrewculture,whichdevelopsintomodernfreeloveethics.PeopleintheWestthinkthatmarriagebelongstotheirpersonalaffairsandistheresultofpersonalloveandchoiceofself-rights.Marriageinwesterncountriesischosenaccordingtothetruefeelingsofthemarriedmanandwoman,whichshowsaperson’sfreewill.Menandwomenfrommeeting,knowingandfallinginlovetogettingmarriedarebothinlove.Theyarewillingtohandthemselvesovertoeachotherandbuildafamilytogetherinamutuallypromisedmarriage.Whenchoosingapartnertomarry,theyfocusonwhethertheyhavefeelings,notonanyfactorsotherthanfamilyinterestsorfeelings.Theygetmarriedbecausetheyloveeachother.Theultimatepurposeofmarriageisforthetwopartiestobetogether.WesternersbelieveinChristianity.Westernersvaluetheirowninterestsandbelievethatpersonalinterestsareaboveeverythingelse.Theyyearnforfreedom.Thepurposeoftheirmarriageismainlytofindapartnerandliveahappylifewithoutbeinginfluencedbyexternalfactors.Theythinkthatiftwopeopleareinlove,theycanbetogether.Theythinkthatmarriageisfree.IntheeyesofWesterners,trueloveisthemainpurposeofmarriageandshouldbeworthpursuing.RoseandTedareacoupleofTheJoyLuckClub.Theyaredeeplyinlove,theyhavenotconsideredallaspectstogether,andliveahappylifetogether.SinceRossisaVietnamese,Ted’smotherdoesnotwantthemtobetogether,whichwillaffectTed’sfuture.SoTed’smotheropposedthem.ButTedhasbeenfightinghismother.Inhiseyes,marriageisfree.HelovesRossdeeply,sohewantstobewithRose.Shefirmlybelievesthatparentshavenorighttointerfereinhermarriage,hegaveuphisfamilybusiness,Rosslivedanordinarylife,buthewasveryhappyandhappyinhisheart.4.3DifferencesinmaritalstatusbetweenhusbandandwifeDuetothedifferencesbetweenChineseandWesterncultures,thevaluesofChineseandWesternculturesaredifferent,sothatthestatusofbothmenandwomeninmarriageisdifferent.InChina,menaresuperiortowomenandwomenareinferior,andachastewomandoesnotmarryasecondman,whileintheWest,couplesareadvocatedtobeequal,helpandloveeachother.Chinaisafeudalsocietyanditspatriarchalsystemisextremelyserious.Inthefamily,thefatherandthehusbandhaveabsolutepower.Asawoman,onlythehusbandwhoobeysherown,ifthereisanyviolation,sheissubjecttocertainsanctions,andthestatusofwomenintheChinesefamilyislow(LiuTingting,2012,18).Aftermarriage,thestatusofbothmenandwomenisunequal.Somemencandothingsbutwomencan'tdoit.Eveniftheirhusbandsdi