讀后續(xù)寫+綠山墻的安妮：另類的調(diào)味品 高三英語(yǔ)二輪復(fù)習(xí)寫作專項(xiàng)

Analternativeflavouring長(zhǎng)望瀏寧平一模讀后續(xù)寫講評(píng)CONTENTS010203HEADLINEHEREThoughtforcustomerservice"isthesacredmissionofhidesign.考題分析類似話題遷移語(yǔ)言表述積累01考題分析Wednesdaymorningcame.Annegotupatsunrisebecauseshewastooexcitedtosleep.SheplannedtomakeacakeforMrsAllan,thebestteachershehadevermet,whowasinvitedoverforatteaparty.Whenshefinallyshuttheovendoor,shetookalongbreath.“I'msureIhaven'tforgottenanythingthistime,Marilla.Butdoyouthinkitwillrise?Whatifthatcakedoesn'trise?”“We'llhaveplentywithoutit,"wasMarilla'suninterestedwayoflookingat,thesubject.Thecakedidrise,however,andcameoutoftheovenlookingperfect.Annewasred-facedwithdelightand,inimagination,sawMrsAllaneatingitandpossiblyaskingforanotherpiece!MrsAllanarrivedandtheyallenjoyedalovelytea.EverythingwentwelluntilAnne'scakewaspassed.MrsAllan,havingalreadybeenhelpedtoalotofdesserts,declinedit.ButMarilla,seeingthedisappointmentonAnne'sface,saidsmilingly:“Oh,youmusttakeapiece,MrsAllan.Annemadeitspeciallyforyou,expectingthatyouwouldloveit.”“InthatcaseImusttryit,"laughedMrsAllan.Shetookamouthfulandastrangeexpressioncrossedherface;notaworddidshesay,however,butcontinuedeating.Marillasawthisandhastened(急忙)totastethecake.“AnneShirley!"sheshouted,“whatonearthdidyouputintothatcake?Whatflavoringdidyouuse?”“Vanilla(香草精),onlyvanilla."saidAnne.“Goandbringmethebottleofvanillayouused.”AnnereturnedwithasmallbottleandMarillatookitandsmelledit.“Mercyonus.Anne,you'veflavoredthatcakewithANODYNELINIMENT(鎮(zhèn)痛劑).Whycouldn'tyouhavesmelledit?”Ashamedofhermistake,Anneburstintotearsandfledtoherroom.SoonalightstepsoundedonthestairsahdMrsAllanenteredtheroom.________________WhenMrsAllanleft,AnneturnedtoMarilla.____________________________________1.不懂a(chǎn)lightstepsoundedonthestair的意思，導(dǎo)致首段情節(jié)構(gòu)思錯(cuò)誤；2.沒有厘清Anne和Marrilla的人物關(guān)系，導(dǎo)致第二段情節(jié)構(gòu)思錯(cuò)誤；3.結(jié)尾缺少對(duì)主題的提煉和升華?？紙?chǎng)易錯(cuò)點(diǎn)：

NarrativeplotthemeperspectivesettingscharactersElementsofnarrativewritingAnneMrsAllanMarillaWednesdaymorningAthometomakeacakeforMrsAllanAnnewhomadeacakeforherteacherflavouredthatcakewithanodyneliniment(鎮(zhèn)痛劑)insteadofvanilla(香草精).ReadforSettings:ReadforCharactersAnne:

Annegotupatsunrisebecauseshewastooexcitedtosleep.SheplannedtomakeacakeforMrsAllan.

Annewasred-facedwithdelightand,inimagination,sawMrsAllaneatingitandpossiblyaskingforanotherpiece!Ashamedofhermistake,Anneburstintotearsandfledtoherroom.Marrilla:

EverythingwentwelluntilAnne'scakewaspassed.MrsAllan,havingalreadybeenhelpedtoalotofdesserts,declinedit.ButMarilla,seeingthedisappointmentonAnne'sface,saidsmilingly:“Oh,youmusttakeapiece,MrsAllan.Annemadeitspeciallyforyou,expectingthatyouwouldloveit.”Mrs.Allan:

“InthatcaseImusttryit,"laughedMrsAllan.Shetookamouthfulandastrangeexpressioncrossedherface;notaworddidshesay,however,butcontinuedeating.Marillasawthisandhastened(急忙)totastethecake.

SoonalightstepsoundedonthestairsahdMrsAllanenteredtheroom._____agirlwhoislovelyandgratefulforlifeacaringwomanateacherwhoisconsiderableandrespectablebeginningclimaxendingAction：Anne,Marilla,MrsAllanEmotion：MayaWednesdaymorningWhathappened?Emotions?whenMrs.AllancameoverAnnegotupatsunriseandplannedtomakeacakeforMrsAllan.Mrs.Allandeclinedthecakebecauseshehadeatenalotofdesserts.Shetookamouthfulandastrangeexpressioncrossedherface.ashamedSoonalightstepsoundedonthestairsahdMrsAllanenteredtheroom.excitedThecakecameoutoftheovenlookingperfect.delightedWhenMrsAllanleft,AnneturnedtoMarilla.ReadforplotsAftertheteatimeAnneflavouredthatcakewithanodynelinimentinsteadofvanilla.disappointednervousPara1:

SoonalightstepsoundedonthestairsahdMrsAllanenteredtheroom.時(shí)間：空間：主要人物：關(guān)鍵情節(jié)：Para2:WhenMrsAllanleft,AnneturnedtoMarilla.home.時(shí)間：空間：主要人物：關(guān)鍵事件：WhentheywerechattingIntheroomMrsAllan,AnnePlot1.WhatdidMrsAllansay?Plot2.HowdidAnnerespondandfeel?Plot3.WhatdecisiondidAnnemake?WhenAnneandMarillaweretalkingIntheroomPlot1.WhydidAnneturnedtoMarilla?Plot2.WhatwouldAnnesaytoMarilla?Plot3.Whatwastheending?Anne,MarillaWednesdaymorningcame.Annegotupatsunrisebecauseshewastooexcitedtosleep.SheplannedtomakeacakeforMrsAllan,thebestteachershehadevermet,whowasinvitedoverforatteaparty.Whenshefinallyshuttheovendoor,shetookalongbreath.“I'msureIhaven'tforgottenanythingthistime,Marilla.Butdoyouthinkitwillrise?Whatifthatcakedoesn'trise?”“We'llhaveplentywithoutit,"wasMarilla'suninterestedwayoflookingat,thesubject.Thecakedidrise,however,andcameoutoftheovenlookingperfect.Annewasred-facedwithdelightand,inimagination,sawMrsAllaneatingitandpossiblyaskingforanotherpiece!MrsAllanarrivedandtheyallenjoyedalovelytea.EverythingwentwelluntilAnne'scakewaspassed.MrsAllan,havingalreadybeenhelpedtoalotofdesserts,declinedit.ButMarilla,seeingthedisappointmentonAnne'sface,saidsmilingly:“Oh,youmusttakeapiece,MrsAllan.Annemadeitspeciallyforyou,expectingthatyouwouldloveit.”“InthatcaseImusttryit,"laughedMrsAllan.Shetookamouthfulandastrangeexpressioncrossedherface;notaworddidshesay,however,butcontinuedeating.Marillasawthisandhastened(急忙)totastethecake.“AnneShirley!"sheshouted,“whatonearthdidyouputintothatcake?Whatflavoringdidyouuse?”“Vanilla(香草精),onlyvanilla."saidAnne.“Goandbringmethebottleofvanillayouused.”AnnereturnedwithasmallbottleandMarillatookitandsmelledit.“Mercyonus.Anne,you'veflavoredthatcakewithANODYNELINIMENT(鎮(zhèn)痛劑).Whycouldn'tyouhavesmelledit?”Ashamedofhermistake,Anneburstintotearsandfledtoherroom.原文伏筆點(diǎn)Theme:selfgrowthClue:Intheroom,AnnemadeacakeforherrespectableteacherMrsAllan.However,AnnemadeamistakethatsheflavouredthecakewithANODYNELINIMENT(鎮(zhèn)痛劑).Ending:Agirlwhowaslovelyandgratefulforlifelearnedfromherexperienceandgotadmirationfromherteacher.ReadforTheme

Soon

a

light

step

sounded

on

the

stairs

andMrsAllanenteredtheroom.Hearingthefootstepapproaching,Annedidn'tevendaretowatchMrsAllanintheeye,weepinginregret.

“It'sjustafunnymistakethatanybodywouldmake.

I

appreciateyourkindnessandthoughtfulness.I’dliketotryagainnexttimeyoumakeacake!”said

Allan,as

she

huggedAnne

gently.

Somethingvital,motivated,leapedfromAllantoAnneatthetouchof

herwarmarms.Needlesstosay,Annewasdeeplymoved,especiallyMrsAllan,theteachershelikedbest,whoshowedappreciationforher.AninnervoicetoldAnnethatsheshouldmakeacakeagain.WhenMrs

Allan

left,Anne

turnedto

Marilla.

“

I’llnevermakethesamemistaketwice.”

MarillahadbeenworriedaboutAnneandwasregrettedofhercruelwords,

buthearingthis,shebreathedasighofreliefandapologizedtoAnne.“So,let'swaitforaperfectcake.”Havingmadethecaketogether,AllanandMarillaimmediatelysentittoMrsAllan.Seeingthecake,MrsAllanwastouchedbeyondwords,withtearswellingupinhereyesinaflash.ShepattedAnneonhershoulderandinvitedhertohavedinnertogether.Annefeltlikeshewasfloatinginanoceanofhappinessforshegotherfavouriteteacher’sinvitation.Shealsorealizedfromherexperiencethattheultimatesuccessdependsoneverydetailthatseem

sinsignificant.范文賞析

Soon

a

light

step

sounded

on

the

stairs

andMrsAllanenteredtheroom.Hearingthefootstepapproaching,Annedidn'tevendaretowatchMrsAllanintheeye,weepinginregret.

“It'sjustafunnymistakethatanybodywouldmake.

I

appreciateyourkindnessandthoughtfulness.

I’dliketotryagainnexttimeyoumakeacake!”said

Allan,as

she

huggedAnne

gently.

Somethingvital,motivated,leapedfromAllantoAnneatthetouchof

herwarmarms.Needlesstosay,Annewasdeeplymoved,especiallyMrsAllan,theteachershelikedbest,whoshowedappreciationforher.AninnervoicetoldAnnethatsheshouldmakeacakeagain.WhenMrs

Allan

left,Anne

turnedto

Marilla.

“

I’llnevermakethesamemistaketwice.”

MarillahadbeenworriedaboutAnneandwasregrettedofhercruelwords,

buthearingthis,shebreathedasighofreliefandapologizedtoAnne.“So,let'swaitforaperfectcake.”Havingmadethecaketogether,AllanandMarillaimmediatelysentittoMrsAllan.Seeingthecake,MrsAllanwastouchedbeyondwords,withtearswellingupinhereyesinaflash.ShepattedAnneonhershoulderandinvitedhertohavedinnertogether.Annefeltlikeshewasfloatinginanoceanofhappinessforshegotherfavouriteteacher’sinvitation.Shealsorealizedfromherexperiencethattheultimatesuccessdependsoneverydetailthatseem

sinsignificant.原文伏筆照應(yīng)02類似話題遷移（成長(zhǎng)感悟類）成長(zhǎng)感悟類續(xù)寫經(jīng)典考題列舉1.2021廣二模用雙手實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的夢(mèng)想2.2021年4月寧波二模

一只手表帶來(lái)的啟發(fā)3.

重慶市高2023屆高三第一次質(zhì)量檢測(cè)為打碎傳家寶向Missi媽媽道歉4.遼寧省名校聯(lián)盟2022年高三9月份聯(lián)合考試勇敢在眾人面前朗讀自己的作品成長(zhǎng)感悟續(xù)寫考題分析Growth

成長(zhǎng)感悟篇類的續(xù)寫文章一般屬于人與自我的主題語(yǔ)境。

整個(gè)世界中，靜止是相對(duì)的，而運(yùn)動(dòng)是絕對(duì)的。對(duì)于個(gè)人來(lái)說(shuō)，個(gè)人的成長(zhǎng)就是一個(gè)絕對(duì)的過(guò)程。個(gè)人成長(zhǎng)是了解自我、完善自我、開發(fā)自我潛能的持續(xù)過(guò)程。

根據(jù)新課程標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，人與自我主題語(yǔ)境下包括兩大主題群：生活與學(xué)習(xí)；做人與做事。因此在讀后續(xù)寫中，個(gè)人的成長(zhǎng)不僅涉及到知識(shí)層面上，更多涉及到情感、態(tài)度和價(jià)值觀(含品德)。語(yǔ)篇往往是學(xué)生比較熟悉的場(chǎng)景：學(xué)校生活、家庭生活及工作（勞動(dòng)）場(chǎng)景。最終的升華指向：健康的生活方式，積極的生活態(tài)度，完善的自我,優(yōu)秀的品行及更好的規(guī)劃(學(xué)習(xí),生活和職業(yè))。

按照情節(jié)的發(fā)展，語(yǔ)篇分為三個(gè)階段。成長(zhǎng)感悟續(xù)寫考題分析Growth

按照情節(jié)的發(fā)展，語(yǔ)篇分為三個(gè)階段。階段情節(jié)重點(diǎn)成長(zhǎng)前的困擾情境描寫+消極情緒的累積→高潮成長(zhǎng)中的蛻變成長(zhǎng)的動(dòng)機(jī)+過(guò)程中變化的心情。成長(zhǎng)后的升華成長(zhǎng)后的收獲+積極情緒(喜悅、滿足和驕傲等)03語(yǔ)言表述積累

一、成長(zhǎng)前的情境描寫：1、成長(zhǎng)前：遇到困難/挑戰(zhàn)1)無(wú)意打碎傳家寶的場(chǎng)景（重慶市高2023屆高三第一次質(zhì)量檢測(cè)）Thesoundofglassbreakingisinstantlyrecognizable.I’dbeentellingmybestfriendMissiasillystoryandhadspunaroundinthelivingroom（在客廳里旋轉(zhuǎn)）whenIheardthatsoundandfroze.WhenIlookeddownatthecarpet,itwascoveredwithpiecesofsparklingred,pinkandclearglass（鋪滿閃亮的紅的、粉紅的透明玻璃）.2)孤獨(dú)的場(chǎng)景（遼寧省名校聯(lián)盟2022年高三9月份聯(lián)合考試）Miafollowedtheotherkidsandrushedintothehallway.Otherswalkedingroups,chatted,andlaughed,usingthebreaktosocialize.Mia,instead,walkedalonealongthewallofthehallway（沿著走廊的墻邊孤獨(dú)地走著）,withherheaddown（低著頭）.Shewasashygirl,afraidtospeakinfrontofotherkids,anddidn'tthinkotherswouldlikeher.FunwasfarbeyondwhatMiadesired.Shejustwantedtobelikeotherkids—runningwithfriendsinthehallway,laughingandjokingbetweenclasses（在課間笑著鬧著）.Remindedofherpimply(長(zhǎng)粉刺的)face,shefelthopelessanddisappointed（感到絕望和失望）.

二、成長(zhǎng)前的情緒描寫：孤獨(dú)：Inevermadefriendseasily,andforatimeIdidlittlemorethangetonspeakingtermswithsomeboys.（2021年4月寧波二模）傷心：1.我在口袋里什么也沒發(fā)現(xiàn)，這個(gè)事實(shí)就像一把長(zhǎng)矛刺進(jìn)我的心臟，立刻開始流血。Ifoundnothinginmypocket,afactthatseemedlikeaspearpiercingintomyheartwhichstartedtobleedimmediately.（2021年4月寧波二模）2.我焦急地幾乎哭了起來(lái)。（2021年4月寧波二模）Lookingaroundanxiously,Ialmostburstintocrying.3.把它放回去，我慢慢地騎車去學(xué)校，痛苦得麻木了（2021年4月寧波二模）Puttingitback,Irodeslowlyontoschool,numbwithmisery.4.悲傷沉重地懸在空中。Sadnesshangheavilyintheair.5."That'sit?"Aramsaid,hisheartsinking（他的心沉下去了）.（2021廣二模）6.Awaveofdisappointmentstruckhim（失望如潮水般涌向他）.（2021廣二模）7.Sadnessoverwhelmedhim（悲傷淹沒了他）sosuddenlythathecouldn'tthinkofawordtosay.（2021廣二模）

二、成長(zhǎng)前的情緒描寫：絕望：“Mymotherwouldn'tletmebringit,”Ilied,desperationboilinginsideme.我媽媽不讓我?guī)?，”我撒謊，絕望在我心中沸騰。（2021年4月寧波二模）嘲笑：他們大聲地笑著，像是在尖叫“多漂亮的破表??！”（2021年4月寧波二模）TheylaughedloudlywithCrawleyscreamingwordslike“Whatafinestbrokenwatch!”尷尬：1.尷尬把我完全包圍了。（2021年4月寧波二模）Embarrassmentenvelopedmetotally.

二、成長(zhǎng)前的情緒描寫：驚訝：Raisinghereyebrowsinsurprise,MrsRossifroze,asifrootedontheground（仿佛定格在那里）.（2021廣二模）緊張：1."Why?WhatdidIdo?"Myfacereddened（我的臉紅了）.2."Abby,thatglassvasewasoneofthefewitemsmyrelativesbroughtwhentheycametoAmerica,Missirepliednervously（緊張地回應(yīng)）.Mystomachwasinknots（我的心揪得緊緊的）.Wouldhermomyellatmeorpunishme?3.Icouldn'tstopplayingthefifteensecondsoverinmymind（我腦海里不停回放那15秒）,mespinningfastandthesoundofglasscrashing.TheonlythingIcouldthinkoftosaywas“I'msorry.”（重慶市高2023屆高三第一次質(zhì)量檢測(cè)）4.Miawasnervouswithherheaddown（緊張地低著頭）.Afterotherstudentsfinishedreadingthepapersonebyone,finally,itwasMia'sturn.Frozenwithfear（恐懼得手足無(wú)措）,Miastoodinfrontoftheclass,withherhandsholdingherpaper,shaking（手拿著她的試卷，在顫抖）.（遼寧省名校聯(lián)盟2022年高三9月份聯(lián)合考試）

三、成長(zhǎng)中：解決困難/挑戰(zhàn)：1）誠(chéng)實(shí)地道歉的場(chǎng)景：Icouldfeelmyvoiceshakingandtriednottocry（聲音顫抖，努力讓自己不哭出來(lái)）.“Whatisit,dear?"shegentlyasked,closingthedoorandwalkingclosertome.Ourhandsalmosttouched.Withhereyesstudyingme,myheartbeatfaster（她的眼睛注視著我，我的心跳得更快）.“I'msorry,”Iblurtedout（脫口而出）.“I...IwastalkingandlaughingwithMissiwhenIspunaroundandaccidentallybrokethevase.”Ifurtherexplainedthatwesavedthepiecesbuttriedinvaintofixit（試圖修復(fù)它卻失敗了）.Itstilllookedlikesmallpiecesofglass.（重慶市高2023屆高三第一次質(zhì)量檢測(cè)）2）原諒他人錯(cuò)誤的場(chǎng)景Hearingmyapology,Missi'smothereruptedintoaloudscreamofjoy（發(fā)出一聲歡樂的叫喊）.Sheembracedme,kissingmeonbothcheeks（擁抱我，親吻我的臉頰）.“Oh,thankyou!Ialwayshatedthatuglyvase.Nowit'sgone!You'vedonemeahugefavor!"hermomexclaimedwithdelight（高興地叫道）.Althoughrelievedtohaveapologized（對(duì)道了歉感到放松）,Iwasstillinshock,forthiswasnotatallthereactionIhadexpected.（重慶市高2023屆高三第一次質(zhì)量檢測(cè)）

三、成長(zhǎng)中：解決困難/挑戰(zhàn)：3）教育與成長(zhǎng)的場(chǎng)景1.“That’snottherightway.Patience,Will.Patience,”avoiceechoedinmyearsaftertheboysleft.（2021年4月寧波二模）2.“Whatwasdonewasdone,”thoughtItomyself.“Whatisimportantnowistodocorrectthingsnext.”現(xiàn)在重要的是下一步要做正確的事情。（2021年4月寧波二模）3.盡管憤怒、尷尬和悲傷重重地籠罩在空氣中，但這個(gè)聲音還是讓我意識(shí)到我在試圖給同學(xué)留下深刻印象時(shí)犯下的錯(cuò)誤。（2021年4月寧波二模）Thoughanger,embarrassmentandsadnesshungheavilyintheair,thevoicedrewmetotheawarenessofthemistakesIhadmadewhenIattemptedtoimpresstheboys.4.我不該如此匆忙的方式試圖融入，也不該把母親身后的手表偷走。（2021年4月寧波二模）Ishouldn’thavetriedtointegrateinsuchahastyway,norshouldIhavestolenthewatchbehindmymother.5.放學(xué)后，我會(huì)誠(chéng)實(shí)地告訴媽媽，我偷了手表是為了給那些不是我真正朋友的朋友留下好印象。（2021年4月寧波二模）Afterschool,IwouldtellmymotherhonestlythatIhadstolenthewatchouttoimpressfriendswhoturnedoutnottobemytruefriends.四、成長(zhǎng)后：成功/收獲場(chǎng)景描寫1）對(duì)人更加寬容和包容Itwasn'tuntilIreachedmyadultyearsthatIrecognizedwhataprofoundgifthermother'sgenerosityinwelcom