高中作文市公開課一等獎百校聯(lián)賽優(yōu)質課金獎名師賽課獲獎課件

編碼式滿分作文訓練法

普菲特教育董華東1/80練習一篇作文最近，我國多地連續(xù)出現(xiàn)霧霾天氣（hazyweather）,交通嚴重受阻，呼吸道疾病（respiratorydisease）患者數(shù)量也大幅增加。請就此寫一篇100詞左右短文，要求：簡明描述上面現(xiàn)象。請?zhí)岢瞿阏J為處理問題方法和辦法，2/80本講座主要目錄徹底轉變寫作切入點句子免錯秘籍負雜句型高級詞匯學習英語文章結構分析作文謀篇布局卷面整齊訓練3/80見到題目后看罷題目透心涼，論結構，全都忘，高級詞匯，丟進太平洋。

復雜句型意茫茫，提起筆，淚千行。步出考場見同學，都一樣，很受傷。

如此作文何顏見爹娘。只待明朝發(fā)榜日，

結繩套，系房梁。4/80寫作文困難類別無從下手不知道怎樣組織句子翻譯起來很困難語法錯誤過多單詞拼寫鏈接句子難5/80學生寫作惡性循環(huán)鏈

高分要求-----高級詞匯、復雜句型

用漢語編輯出復雜、優(yōu)美漢語句子翻譯成英語漢語式英語大量語法錯誤踩錯扣分低分背誦范文練習書寫繼續(xù)犯錯6/80原因：混同了編碼和解碼解碼輸入時所需，閱讀、了解，特點復雜。編碼輸出時所需，寫作、口語，特點簡單。7/80方向選擇8/80第一步找出語言信息內核剝離漢語言修飾部分從作文題目中找到修飾部分和內核部分。胸有成竹望子成龍表妹人山人海

陰盛陽衰9/80探尋以下說法編碼內核這個計劃癱瘓了（這個計劃已經(jīng)失敗了）“Theplanfailed.”“Theplanhaven’tbeencarriedout.雨過天晴，月亮爬上了樹梢，星星探出了腦袋，在那里眨巴眼睛。（雨后，月亮出來了，星星出來了，閃閃發(fā)光。）Aftertherain,themoonisout,andthestarsareallouttoo,sparkling.10/80我現(xiàn)在是筋疲力盡。（我太累了。）Iamquitetired.Iamexhausted.我吃得很撐。（我吃得太飽了。）Iamterriblyfull.這個城市被大霧籠罩著。（城市被煙霧蓋住了。）Thecityiscoveredwithfog.一輛過路車濺了我一身泥。（我一身都被過路車灑泥水蓋住了。）Iwascoveredwiththemudbyapassingcar.11/80這個孩子說話彬彬有禮。（這個孩子講話時很有禮貌。）Theboyisfullofgoodmannerswhenhespeaks.她傾城傾國。

（她長得很漂亮）Herbeautyisveryoutstanding.

（她漂亮把我呼吸都帶走了。）Herbeautytakesmybreathaway.他律己甚嚴。（他對自己很嚴格。）Heisverystrictwithhimself.12/80他神通廣大，無所不能。（他能夠做任何他想做。）Heisabletodoeverythinghewantstodo.烏云漸漸散去，一會兒便是晴空萬里。（烏云慢慢地給藍天讓路。）Theblackcloudsgraduallygivewaytothebluesky.13/80現(xiàn)場練習：剝離漢化表示并翻譯

五顏六色能歌善舞自吹自擂好好學習，天天向上14/80

精力充沛上進心強任勞任怨兢兢業(yè)業(yè)，勤勤懇懇鞠躬盡瘁，死而后矣。15/80第二步：人類描述世界基本邏輯

一，表示主體存在大樓前面有一個花園

Thereisagardeninfrontofthebuilding.

玉米地旁邊有一口井

Thereisawellnearcornfields.

我們校園里有一些樹。

Therearesometreesinourschool.

慣用結構therebe

16/80

二，表示主體屬性或狀態(tài)我是個中學生

Iamamiddleschoolstudent.

我學校很大。

Ourschoolisverybig.

我們很辛勞不過也很高興。

Weweretiredbuthappy.

小孩處于危險之中

Thekidisindanger.17/80名詞表示屬性，形容詞表示特征或狀態(tài)Theboyisastudent.Heisclever.表示屬性主語+形容詞/名詞18/80

三表示主體行為

太陽從東方升起Thesunrisesintheeast.過去日子已經(jīng)過去

Theolddayshavegone.我喜歡英語IlikeEnglish.

我昨天買了一本詞典Iboughtadictionaryyesterday.

主體+動詞vi.

主體+動詞vt.+賓語19/80

四表示兩個主體之間相互關系我給張華一本書Igavezhanghuaabook.老師讓我今天完成作業(yè)。Myteacheraskedmetofinishmyhomeworktoday.我們發(fā)覺魚死了。Theyfoundthefishdead.主語+動詞+間賓+直賓主語+動詞+賓語+賓補20/80山東高考作文評分第五檔標準第五檔（很好）（25-30分）

1.完全完成了試題要求任務。

2．覆蓋全部內容關鍵點。

3．應用了較多語法結構和詞匯。

4．語法結構或詞匯方面有些許錯誤，但為盡力使用較復雜結或較高級詞匯所致；具備較強語言利用能力。

5．有效地使用了語句間連接成份，使全文結構緊湊。

6.到達了預期寫作目標。21/80第二步訓練用最基本邏輯寫作最近霧霾天氣（hazyweather）經(jīng)常在我國一些地方發(fā)生。所以交通會嚴重堵塞?；己粑兰膊。╮espiratorydisease）人數(shù)極速增加。面對這么天氣我們只好呆在家里。我認為最主要辦法是控制來自工廠空氣污染。一些工廠不注意空氣污染。他們只想盈利。22/80所以我們必須盡最大努力降低空氣污染。政府和相關人員應該指導他們。少開私家車意味著少污染。所以我們盡可能多乘坐公共交通。我們能夠各種樹，節(jié)約水和能源等等。總之，全部些人都應該進我們最大努力保護環(huán)境。23/80Recently,hazyweatherhashappenedinmanyplacesofourcountry.Sothetrafficisblockedseriously.Thenumberofpeoplewithrespiratorydiseasehasincreasedgreatly.

Facingsuchweather,wehavetobeathome.Inmyopinion,themostimportantmeasureistocontrolairpollutionfromfactories.Somefactoriesdon’tpayattentiontotheairpollution.Theyonlytrytoearnmoney.Sowemusttryourbesttodecreaseairpollution.Thegovernmentandallthepeopleshouldmonitorthem.Drivingprivatecarslessmeanslesspollution.Soweshouldtakepublictransportationasoftenaspossible.Wecanplanttrees,savewaterandenergyandsoon.Allpeopleshouldtryourbesttoprotectenvironment.24/80第三步對已經(jīng)有句型進行復雜化把已經(jīng)寫出簡單句變復雜

1句子延伸（增加狀語從句、定語從句）

2句子合并（把兩個小短句合并成一個）

3改變句式或使用經(jīng)典句型

4使用高級詞匯25/801句子延伸（使用復合句）Springisbeautiful.Weallknowthatspringisbeautiful.Itisgenerallyacceptedthatspringisbeautiful.Thegirlisspokenhighlyof.Hercompositionwaswellwritten.Thegirlwhosecompositionwaswellwrittenisspokenhighlyof.26/802句子合并（使用并列句）Springhasarrived.Theflowersareblooming.Springhasarrivedandtheflowersareblooming.Thatwasabeautifulday.Wedecidedtogotothepark.Itwasabeautifulday,sowedecidedtogotothepark.27/803句式改變改變時態(tài)改變語態(tài)使用不定式使用過去分詞使用ing形式使用虛擬語氣28/80Thebellisringingnow.Theregoesthebell.Peoplesuggestthattheconferencebeputoff.Itissuggestedthattheconferencebeputoff.Onceitisseen,itcanneverbeforgotten.

Onceseen,itcanneverbeforgotten,。。。Iftheweatherpermits,Iwillcometomorrow.Weatherpermitting,…29/80Itdisappointedeverybodythathedidn’tturnup.Thefactthathedidn’tturnupdisappointedeverybody.Ifshedoesn’tagree,whatshallwedo?Supposingthatshedoesn’tagree,…Ididn’tknowhewasintrouble,soIdidn’tgotohishelp.HadIknownhewasintrouble,Ihadsurelygonetohishelp.30/80And,but,or,so,yet,for,nor,After,as,assoonas,before,since,until,when,whenever,while,Because,since,as,Where,whereverAlthough,eventhough,though,while,whereasWho,whom,that,Whichthat31/80并列and.aswellas,both…andnotonly…but(also)but,however,whereas,while,yet,still,選擇or,.nor,orelse,otherwise,either...or遞進besides,also,even,furthermore,what’smore，inaddition因果for,thus,so,therefore,consequently,asaresult時間：then,meanwhile,subsequently,afterward,解釋thatis(tosay),inotherwords主語從句what,that,whether,who,whom,賓語從句what,that,whether,if，who,whom32/80狀語從句時間when,whenever;as,since,till,until,before,everytime,nosooner...than,hardly...when地點:where,wherever,everywhere條件if,unless,providing(/provided)that,as(/so)long原因:because,since,as,nowthat,seeingthat,讓步：though,although,evenif/eventhough,as,while,比較:(not)as...as,notso...as,(not)such...as,方式：as,asif/asthough,theway目標:sothat,incase,forfearthat,lest,inorderthat結果：sothat,so...that,such..,that,tosuchadegree33/804高級詞匯替換poor----needy（貧窮）rich----wealthy（富裕）good----benificial（有益）bad----undesirable（不好，不受歡迎）however----nevertheless（然而，不過）important----fundamental/significant（主要）thing----affair（事情，東西）very----extremely（非常地）way----approach/method（方法，方案）use----adopt（采取，采?。ゞovernment----administration（政府部門）solve----copewith（處理）34/80Providing

thewealthyarewillingtohelptheneedypeople,itwillbebenificialforthemselves.Nevertheless,suchaffairsseldomhappenandtheadministrationhasnoapproachtocopewithit.Iftherichcouldhelpthepoor,itwillbegoodforthemselves.However,suchthingsseldomhappenandthegovernmenthasnowaytosolveit.35/80oldpeople----theaged（老人）theyoung----adolescents（青少年）disagreewithsth.----frownonsth.（不一樣意）forexample----forinstance（比如）if----provided/providing（that）（假如.....）improve----promote/strengthen（提升，加強）Moreshouldbedonetostrengthenindustry'slinkswithuniversities.應該做更多事情加強工業(yè)界和大學聯(lián)絡advantagesanddisadvantages----prosandcons（好處和壞處）

Youmustconsideralltheprosandconsofthematterbeforeyoumakeadecision.在你做決定之前，必須考慮這個問題正反兩個方面36/80Recently,hazyweatherhashappenedcontinuouslyinmanyplacesofourcountry.Thetrafficisblockedseriouslyandthenumberofpeoplewithrespiratorydiseasehasincreasedgreatly.

Infaceofsuchextremeweather,weshouldtrytostayinside.Thefundamentalmeasureistocontrolairpollutionfromfactories.Somefactoriesdon’tpayattentiontotheairpollutionwhentheytrytomakemoney,soit’shightimetodecreaseairpollution.Theadministrationandallthepeopleshouldmonitorthem.Thesecondisthatweshouldtakepublictransportationasoftenaspossible,becausedrivingprivatecarslessmeanslesspollutionanditisenvironment-friendly.Allpeopleshouldmakemuchcontributiontotheenvironmentprotection,suchasplantingtrees,savingwaterandenergyandsoon.37/80第四步加入連接詞、過渡語把句子或者段落用過分詞或者插入語連接起來38/80Middleschoolstudentarediligent.Sometimesthingsarenotlikethis.Therearesomestudentsatschool.Theydon’tstudyhard.Noothergroupscanbefoundtobemorediligentthanmiddleschoolstudents.Sometimesthingsarenotalwayslikethis.Therearesomestudentswhodon’tstudentatschool.Itisgenerallyacceptedthatnoothergroupscanbefoundtobemorediligentthanmiddleschoolstudents.Butsometimesthingsarenotalwayslikethis.Indeed,therearesomestudentswhodon’tstudentatschool.39/80表示邏輯次序firstsecondthird,then,next,afterthat,finally,foronething,表示時間次序now,atpresent,recently,after,afterwards,afterwards,afterthat,afterawhile,inafewdays,atfirst,inthebeginning,程度遞進besides,what’smore,what’sworse,inaddition,furthermore,moreover,especially,inparticular,even,tomakethematterworse,解釋說明forexample,forinstance,suchas,inthiscase,infact,actually,namely,take…forexample,因果關系because,becauseof,since,nowthat,thanksto，therefore轉折關系but,however,while,though,or,otherwise,onthecontrary,ontheotherhand,并列關系or,and,notonly…butalso,aswellas,both…and,either…or,條件關系as(so)longas,onconditionthat,if,unless,suppose,lest,incase讓步關系though,although,as,everif,eventhough,whether…or,however,10比較關系besimilarto,similarly,thesameas,incontrast,comparedwith(to),11表示目標forthispurpose,sothat,inorderto,soasto,withthepurposeof,12表示強調indeed,infact,surely,certainly,nodoubt,withoutanydoubt13表示概括歸納inaword,inshout,onthewhole,generallyspeaking,inmyopinion,asfarasIknow,asfarasIamconcerned,14，過渡性插入語Ithink,I’mafraid,youknow,asweallknow,asiswellknown,40/80Recently,hazyweatherhashappenedcontinuouslyinmanyplacesofourcountry.Asaresult,thetrafficisblockedseriouslyandthenumberofpeoplewithrespiratorydiseasehasincreasedgreatly.

Infaceofsuchextremeweather,weshouldtrytostayinside.Inmypointofview,themostimportantmeasureistocontrolairpollutionfromfactories.Somefactoriesdon’tpayattentiontotheairpollutionwhentheytrytoearnmoney,soit’shightimetodecreaseairpollution.Andthegovernmentandallthepeopleshouldmonitorthem.Thesecondisthatweshouldtakepublictransportationasoftenaspossible,becausedrivingprivatecarslessmeanslesspollutionanditisenvironment-friendly.Atlast,allpeopleshouldmakemuchcontributiontotheenvironmentprotection,suchasplantingtrees,savingwaterandenergyandsoon.41/80TheWritingProcess：Step1Prewriting（準備）Prewritingisawaytogetideas.Youchooseatopicandcollectideastoexplainthetopic.listing42/80記一個有成就人AlbertEinsteinBillGatesMotherTeresaAuntSarahMartinLutherkingMr.Wang(highschoolteacher)GrandfatherDavid(mydeskmate)43/80Grandfatherstartedhospitalintown-onlyhospitalinabigareauneducated(highschool?eightgrade)firstfarmertoterrace（梯田）hisland-noweveryonedoesitfarmerimprovedfarmingtechniquesinhisareaworkedhardhelpedhiscommunityreadaboutnewthingsstartedcommunityhospitalterracinghelpspreventsoilerosionrespectedincommunitylistenedtoexpertswenttochurcheveryweekgotupearlymademelaughwhenIwaslittleworkedlatewasthefirstpersonintobuyacarforward-thinking44/80Step2Organizing（組織）Mygrandfatherhelpedhiscommunityintwoways.A.Heimprovedfarmingtechniquesinhisarea.FirstfarmertoterracehislandTerracinghelpspervertsoilerosionB.Hestartedacommunityhospital.Onlyhospitalinbigarea45/80Step3Writing（寫作）Writeyourroughdraftasquicklyaspossiblewithoutstoppingtothinkaboutgrammar,spelling,orpunctuation.46/80APersonWhoHasMadeaDiffenence:MyGrandfatherMyGrandfatherhelphiscommunityintwoways.MyGrandfatherbornin1880.Hewasfarmer.Notwelleducated.(Maybeheonlywenttohighschoolforoneortwoyear.Inthosedays,childrenwereneededtoworkonthefarm.)Hewascrazy,butnow,everyfarmerdoesit.Terracinghelpspreventsoilerosion.Thisimprovedfarmingtechniquesinhisarea.47/80Afterheistoooldtoworkatfarming,myGrandfathergettheideathathistownneedsaHospital,sohespendhistimeraisingmoneytobuildone.Thereisnohospitalsnearby,andpeoplehavetogolongdistancetoseedoctor.Peopleagainthinkhereallycrazy,buthesucceed.NowasmallHospitalincommunity,andtwodoctor.Eachofthedoctorshavelotsofpatients.TheHospitalisnamedthejameswalkercommunityhospital.ItwasnamedformyGrandfather.MyGrandfatherjustasimple,uneducatedfarmer,buthehelpedhiscommunityalot.48/80SecondDraftMyGrandfatherhelphiscommunityintwoways.Hewasfarmerandlivesinasmallvillage.hewasfirstfarmerinhiscommunitytoterracehisfields.Terracingistechniqueofmakingrowsoflittledamsonhillyland.Terracingsavewaterandkeepsoilfromwashingawayinrainstorms.Then,peoplethoughthewascrazy,butnow,allofthefarmersintheareadoit.Terracinghelpskeepthesoilfromwashingawayinrainstorms.Thisimprovedfarmingtechniquesinhisarea.thenmyGrandfathergettheideathathistownneedaHospital,sohespendhistimeraisingmoneytobuildone.Thereisnohospitalnearby,andpeoplehadtogolongdistancetoseedoctor.Peopleagainthinkhereallycrazy,buthesucceed.NowasmallHospitalincommunity,andtwodoctor.Eachofthedoctorshavelotsofpatients.TheHospitalisnamedthejameswalkercommunityhospital.ItwasnamedformyGrandfather.MyGrandfatherjustasimple,uneducatedfarmer,buthehelpedhiscommunityalot.49/80Step4PolishingRevisingandEditing（完善）Mygrandfatherhelpedhiscommunityintwoways.Hewasafarmerandlivedinasmallvillage.Hewasthefirstfarmerinhiscommunitytoterracehisfields.Terracingisthetechniqueofmakingrowsoflittledamsonhillyland.Terracingsaveswaterandkeepssoilfromwashingawayinrainstorms.Then,peoplethoughthewascrazy,butnow,allthefarmersintheareadoit.Thisimprovedfarmingtechniquesinhisarea.Thenmygrandfathergottheideathathistownneededahospital,sohespenthistimeraisingmoneytobuildone.Therewerenohospitalsnearby,andpeoplehadtogolongdistancestoseeadoctor.Peopleagainthoughthewasreallycrazy,buthesucceeded.Nowthereisasmallhospitalinthecommunityandtwodoctors.ThehospitalisnamedtheJamesWalkerCommunityHospital.Itwasnamedformygrandfather.Mygrandfatherwasjustasimple,uneducatedfarmer,buthehelpedhiscommunityalot.50/80英語文章結構51/80EnglishandChineseThinking.SavingthelastforthebestBeingdirect52/80中美英文考試對比中式思維狗是干什么？看門咬人鍛煉身體吃屎美式思維錄音原文：A=B題干：A=？答案：B錄音原文：A=B推斷：B=C題干：A=?答案：A=CIMDOGroupAustraliaPh:01065179986Email:peter1809@Web:

中國總部地址：北京市東城區(qū)朝內大街188號鴻安國際大廈C座502郵政編碼：10001053/80中美思維對比（以寫作為例）中國女孩分手信不知道你這幾天過好不好,你為啥不聯(lián)絡我

(繞來繞去)我這兩天什么也沒干，書也看不進去，飯也吃不下。你不聯(lián)絡我，我做什么都沒勁。想起幾個月前，你對我如此體貼，從不讓我難過難過。你現(xiàn)在怎么會這么沒良心啊!(正話反說)上個禮拜我可能措辭太過激烈，但都是因為我在意你，可是你竟然不能體會，還大發(fā)脾氣，真是傷透了我心。(終于說正題了)我真好恨你啊!(戛然而止，留下無窮回味)DearJohn,Ihateyou!(Topicsentence)Youryellingatmelastweekmademedown.(reason1)AndyouweresoclosetoMarythatyouhelpedherwithher

essayinsteadofhangingoutwithme,whichwasunbearableforme.(reason2)Duringmybirthday,nogiftfromyouatall.(reason3)SoIreallyhateyou,andwannaseeyounomoreinmylifetime.(Conclusion)54/80中美思維對比東方思維：繞來繞去正話反說含蓄表示雋永波折西方思維：邏輯式

logicanalysis結構：金字塔結構Topicsentence+supportingsentences+concludingsentence55/80記敘文時間次序Earthquake!1Anunforgettableexperienceinmylifewasamagnitude6.9earthquake.2Iwasathomewithmyolderandyoungerbrother.3Suddenly,ourapartmentstartedshaking.4Atfirst,noneofusrealizedwhathappening.5Thenmysisteryelled,“Earthquake!Getundersomething!”6Ihalfrolledandhalfcrawledacrosstheroomtogetunderthediningtable.7Mysisteralsoyelledatmylittlebrothertogetunderhisdesk.8Meanwhile,mysisterwasonthekitchenfloorholdingherarmsoverherheadtoprotectitfromfallingdishes.9Theearthquakelastedlessthanaminute,butitseemedlikeayeartous.10Atlast,theshakingstopped.11Foraminuteortwo,weweretooscaredtomove.12Thenwetriedtocallourparentsatwork,butevenourcellphonedidn’twork.13Next,wecheckedtheapartmentfordamage.14Wefeltverylucky,fornothingwasbrokenexceptafewdishes.15However,ourfirstearthquakewasanexperiencethatnoneofuswilleverforget.56/80記敘文空間次序TheStairwayWhenIwastwoorthreeyearsold,Ilivedinahousethathadastrangeatmosphere.Idonotrememberanythingaboutthehouseexceptthestairway.Itwasdark,squeaking,andquitenarrow,anditsstepswerealittlehighformetoclimbup.Fromthebottomofthestairway,itseemedlikeanendlessclimbtothetop.Beyondthedarknessatthetopofthestairway,therewasanelegant,middle-agedladyleaningagainstthewall.IhadtopasshereverytimeIwenttomyroom,formyroomwasthefirstroombeyondthestairsonthesecondfloor.Theladyworeabeautifuldresswithaquietpatternandatinge(一絲)ofblue,andherpeacefuleyesstaredatmeeverytimeIwentupthestairs57/80AsIcarefullyclimbedupthelaststep,hereyesbecamefixedonme.Shedidnottalk,nordidshemove.Shejuststoodthereandwatchedmeclamberupthestairs.OnedayItouchedher,butshedidnotreact.Herfacedidnotchangeexpression,nordidsheevenblink.Shejustkeptstaringatmewithherglitteringeyes.Later,wemovedoutofthehouse,andIneversawheragain.NowIknowthattheladywasamannequin.Myaunt,wholivedinthehouse,useditforherdressmakingclass.Ididnotknowmymother.MaybeIimaginedthatthemannequinstandingatthetopofthestairswasmymother.Thestairwaywiththestrangeatmospherehasanimportantplaceinmyearliestmemories.58/80議論文結構Likeasandwich.

TopicSentence

Supportingsentences

concludingsentence59/80怎樣寫主題句TopicsentenceAtopicandacontrollingideaSomemarriagesareaunionoftwofamilies.Somemarriagesareaunionoftwopersons.60/80NotTooGeneral,NotTooSpecificMarriageisaneventinaperson’slife.Theaverageageforpeopletomarryintheyear

was25forawomanand27foraman.Theaverageageforpeopletomarryhaschangedinthepast100years.61/80怎樣寫支撐句

SupportingSentencesExamples(舉例)Quotations（引用）Statistics（數(shù)據(jù)）62/80結論句寫法TheConcludingSentenceConclusionSignals

Allinall,Insummary,Inbrief,Toconclude,Inconclusion,Tosummarize,Indeed,Tosumup,Inshort,Itisclearthat…Tosummarize,Chinesefoodisbothbeautifultolookatanddelicioustoeat.Itisclearthatfaddietsdon’tworkandmayevendamageadieter’shealth.Repeatthetopicindifferentwords.Summarizethemainpointoftheparagraph.63/80考場作文之謀篇布局1，依據(jù)要求確定文體2，依據(jù)材料確定篇章內容64/80例文一假如你們學校將舉行一次以“我夢想（mydream）”為主題英語演講會，寫一篇