2024屆高三英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作專項(xiàng)：女兒離家出走 讀后續(xù)寫(xiě) 課件

讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)Jennywastheonlychildinherhome.Shehadaquarrelwithhermotherthatafternoonandsheranoutofthehouseangrily.Shecouldn’thelpweepingwhenshethoughtofscoldingfromhermother.Havingwanderedinthestreetforhours,shefeltalittlehungryandwishedforsomethingtoeat.Shestoodbesideastandforawhile,watchingthemiddle-agedsellerbusydoinghisbusiness.However,withnomoneyinhand,shesighedandhadtoleave.Thesellerbehindthestandnoticedtheyounggirlandasked,“Hey,girl,youwanttohavethenoodles?”O(jiān)h,yes...butIdon’thavemoneyonme,”shereplied.“That’snothing.I'lltreatyoutoday,”saidtheman.“comein.”Thesellerbroughtherabowlofnoodles,whosesmellwassoattractive.Asshewaseating,Jennycriedsilently.“Whatisit?”askedthemankindly.“Nothing,actuallyIwasjusttouchedbyyourkindness!”saidJenny.“Evenastrangeronthestreetwillgivemeabowlofnoodles,whilemymotherdrovemeoutofthehouse.Sheshowednocareforme.Sheissomercilesscomparedtoastranger!”Hearingthewords,thesellersmiled,“Girl,doyoureallythinkso?Ionlygaveyouabowlofnoodlesandyouthankedmealot.Butitisyourmotherwhohasraisedyousinceyouwereababy.Canyounumberthetimesshecookedforyou?Haveyouexpressedyourgratitudetoher?”Jennysatthere,speechlessandnumbwithshock;sherememberedMother’sfamiliarfaceandweatheredhands.“WhydidInotthinkofthat?Abowlofnoodlesfromastrangermademefeelgrateful,butIhaveneverthankedmymumforwhatshehasdoneforme.”O(jiān)nthewayhome,Jennymadeuphermindtomakeanapologytohermotherforherrudenessassoonasshearrivedhome.Paragraph1Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.________________Paragraph2Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.__________________Jennywastheonlychildinherhome.Shehadaquarrelwithhermotherthatafternoonandsheranoutofthehouseangrily.Shecouldn’thelpweepingwhenshethoughtofscoldingfromhermother.Havingwanderedinthestreetforhours,shefeltalittlehungryandwishedforsomethingtoeat.Shestoodbesideastandforawhile,watchingthemiddle-agedsellerbusydoinghisbusiness.However,withnomoneyinhand,shesighedandhadtoleave.Thesellerbehindthestandnoticedtheyounggirlandasked,“Hey,girl,youwanttohavethenoodles?”O(jiān)h,yes...butIdon’thavemoneyonme,”shereplied.“That’snothing.I'lltreatyoutoday,”saidtheman.“comein.”Thesellerbroughtherabowlofnoodles,whosesmellwassoattractive.Asshewaseating,Jennycriedsilently.“Whatisit?”askedthemankindly.“Nothing,actuallyIwasjusttouchedbyyourkindness!”saidJenny.“Evenastrangeronthestreetwillgivemeabowlofnoodles,whilemymotherdrovemeoutofthehouse.Sheshowednocareforme.Sheissomercilesscomparedtoastranger!”Hearingthewords,thesellersmiled,“Girl,doyoureallythinkso?Ionlygaveyouabowlofnoodlesandyouthankedmealot.Butitisyourmotherwhohasraisedyousinceyouwereababy.Canyounumberthetimesshecookedforyou?Haveyouexpressedyourgratitudetoher?”Jennysatthere,speechlessandnumbwithshock;sherememberedMother’sfamiliarfaceandweatheredhands.“WhydidInotthinkofthat?Abowlofnoodlesfromastrangermademefeelgrateful,butIhaveneverthankedmymumforwhatshehasdoneforme.”O(jiān)nthewayhome,Jennymadeuphermindtomakeanapologytohermotherforherrudenessassoonasshearrivedhome.Paragraph1Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.________________Paragraph2Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.__________________一、讀懂大意，理清脈絡(luò)主要是根據(jù)記敘文的六要素弄清文章大意，特別要弄清故事的人物，時(shí)態(tài)（通常是一般過(guò)去時(shí)），事件（故事的起因和經(jīng)過(guò)），語(yǔ)言特色（以便在續(xù)寫(xiě)時(shí)語(yǔ)言特色前后一致，保持不變），等等。（總結(jié)：人物，時(shí)態(tài)和事件，語(yǔ)言特色不要變）characters人物:Jenny,hermother,thesellertense時(shí)態(tài):simplepasttenseevents事件:events事件：1.Jennyquarreledwithhermother,lefthomeandafewhourslater,feltalittlehungry.2.ThesellergaveabowelofnoodlesandJennythankedtheselleralot.3.Theselleraskedherhowmanytimeshermothercookedforherandifshethankedhermother.4.Sherealizedhermistakesanddecidedtogohometomakeanapologytohermother.1.珍妮跟母親吵架，離家出走，街上游蕩幾個(gè)鐘后，感覺(jué)饑餓。2.好心人給她一碗面吃，她感動(dòng)流淚。3.這位陌生人告訴她，母親將她養(yǎng)大，給她做了無(wú)數(shù)次飯菜，應(yīng)當(dāng)感謝她的母親。4.珍妮意識(shí)到自己錯(cuò)了，決定回家向媽媽道歉。語(yǔ)言特色1．分詞短語(yǔ)作狀語(yǔ)(1)Havingwanderedinthestreetforhours,shefeltalittlehungryandwishedforsomethingtoeat.(2)Shestoodbesideastandforawhile,watchingthemiddle-agedsellerbusydoinghisbusiness.(3)Hearingthewords,thesellersmiled…2．形容詞短語(yǔ)作狀語(yǔ)（有的學(xué)者認(rèn)為是補(bǔ)語(yǔ)）Jennysatthere,speechlessandnumbwithshock驚呆了.3.with的復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)However,withnomoneyinhand,shesighedandhadtoleave.4．定語(yǔ)從句Thesellerbroughtherabowlofnoodles,whosesmellwassoattractive.二、細(xì)讀首句，構(gòu)思框架兩段首句定一框即根據(jù)所給兩段的首句確定第一段的框架。二框二首正能量即第二段的框架，由第二段首句與故事正能量結(jié)尾，來(lái)確定框架。Paragraph1Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.（走到門(mén)口，珍妮深吸了一口氣）Paragraph2Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.（輕輕一碰她的頭發(fā)，她的思緒又回來(lái)了）從第一段首句可知，珍妮應(yīng)是鼓起勇氣敲門(mén)回家，但從第二段首句來(lái)看，“輕輕碰她的頭發(fā)”的應(yīng)是母親，因?yàn)槿宋锞腿齻€(gè)，續(xù)寫(xiě)中一般不要隨意冒出一個(gè)新的人物，除非情節(jié)發(fā)展的確需要；“思緒回來(lái)”說(shuō)明第一段中，珍妮回家沒(méi)見(jiàn)母親（根據(jù)常識(shí)，母親可能去找女兒了），在回憶跟母親吵架的事，或在回憶母親多年的關(guān)愛(ài)，等等。構(gòu)思：Paragraph1Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.（走到門(mén)口，珍妮深吸了一口氣）根據(jù)構(gòu)思的大致框架，推斷故事中人物所見(jiàn)、所思、所說(shuō)、所做等每段增加五至七個(gè)具體細(xì)節(jié)或叫"57細(xì)節(jié)法”。鼓足勇氣，推門(mén)進(jìn)屋母親外出，該去何處累而難過(guò)，沙發(fā)上坐爭(zhēng)吵場(chǎng)面，浮現(xiàn)腦海自己粗魯，愧對(duì)其母母親責(zé)罵，皆因關(guān)愛(ài)自感羞愧，淚流臉頰三、增加細(xì)節(jié)，開(kāi)始寫(xiě)作Paragraph2Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.（輕輕一碰她的頭發(fā)，她的思緒又回來(lái)了）頭一望，看見(jiàn)母親到處找你，你在這里母親雖累，松了口氣撲入懷里，道歉致謝母親聽(tīng)后，喜在心頭根據(jù)一致性原則，除內(nèi)容上要語(yǔ)義銜接，上下連貫外，語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格也要一致，應(yīng)使用分詞語(yǔ)短和形容詞作狀語(yǔ)，同時(shí)注意使用從句。三、增加細(xì)節(jié)，開(kāi)始寫(xiě)作審讀初稿，注意語(yǔ)義是否銜接，前后是否連貫，事件是否符合邏輯，語(yǔ)言特色是否與前文一致。在修改潤(rùn)色之后，整齊工整地謄寫(xiě)在答卷上。四、修改潤(rùn)色，整潔譽(yù)寫(xiě)

Paragraph1:Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.Whenshepushedthedooropenandenteredthehouse,shefoundhermotherwasnotin.Tiredandsad,shesankdownontothesofa.“Wherecouldmymotherbe?”shewondered.“Wasshestillangrywithme?”Again,thesceneofthequarrelappearedinhermind.Sherememberedherrudenesstohermother.Realizingthatallthescoldingfromhermotherwasduetothefactthathermotherreallycaredalotabouther,shefeltratherashamed,andtearsbegantorolldownhercheeks.

Paragraph2:Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermind