第五課語法與文體錯誤分析

1、LOGOScientific Paper WritingPart I Analysis of Grammatical and Stylistic ErrorsI. Comma Splice (逗號疊加逗號疊加)False： （1）Technology never exists in vacuum, it is embodied in products, processes, and people. （2）Stevensons romances are entertaining, they are full of exciting adventures.Correct: (1) vacuum;

2、it is (2) entertaining, for they areTips: Comma can not be used between two complete sentences. If the contents of the two sentences are connected, we may use semicolon“;” Or we use linking words.II. Choppy Style(文體紊亂文體紊亂)Sample 1:First draft: We have established a communications Systems (CS) Planni

3、ng Team (1). This team includes user representatives from each of the 12 departments in the Forever-Seal Division（2）.We hold regular meetings to assess state-of-the-art-communications equipment (3). We discuss how new products are being used by other companies (4). At these meetings, The user repres

4、entatives describe their other future needs (5). They also work out their requirements for the new communication network （6）. Correct one: We have established a communications Systems (CS) Planning Team which includes division. We hold regular meetings to assess state-of-the-art communications equip

5、ment and to discuss how new products. At these meetings, the user representatives describe their other future needs and work out their requirements for the new communication network.Exercise: Electric cars must be able to meet the same safety standards that gasoline cars must meet as set up by the D

6、epartment of Transportation. These standards are derived from an established crash test. In the crash test, the car is propelled against a solid wall at 30 mph. The data obtained from the crash test are analyzed for fuel spillage, fuel system integrity, windshield retention(擋風(fēng)玻璃殘留擋風(fēng)玻璃殘留), and zone i

7、ntrusion.Sample 2: The proposed system is required to alleviate(減輕減輕) the increase in demand by using the microcomputer as a stand-alone entry system with all the necessary graphics and software capabilities to remove the burden of Data entry from the present system CADDS.Analysis: This is a long in

8、explicable sentence. Topic sentence:要求擬建的系統(tǒng)能緩要求擬建的系統(tǒng)能緩和不得不增加的信息量。和不得不增加的信息量。 Development：1.1.方法：去除現(xiàn)有系方法：去除現(xiàn)有系統(tǒng)統(tǒng)CADDSCADDS的數(shù)據(jù)入口負(fù)擔(dān)而達(dá)到要求。的數(shù)據(jù)入口負(fù)擔(dān)而達(dá)到要求。2. 2. 設(shè)備：把微機(jī)作為獨(dú)立入口系統(tǒng)來設(shè)備：把微機(jī)作為獨(dú)立入口系統(tǒng)來 完成。這種微機(jī)具有為完成這概念所完成。這種微機(jī)具有為完成這概念所要求的所有圖表以及軟件能力。要求的所有圖表以及軟件能力。修改方法修改方法： Use both long and short sentences To explain t

9、he topic by the way of general-to-specific Use cohesive devices to link two related sentencesCorrect one: The proposed system is required to alleviate the increase in demand. The system will do that by removing the burden of data entry from the present system CADDS. This is accomplished by using the

10、 microcomputer as a stand-alone entry system. The microcomputer has all the graphics and software capabilities required to implement this concept.III. Excessive Use of the Passive VoiceRules to follow: 1. Make the action-executor clearly known e.g. Now that the method has been modified, it is used t

11、o analyze the chemical heat pump dryer.(作者修改了這作者修改了這個方案，將它用在化學(xué)熱泵干燥器中。個方案，將它用在化學(xué)熱泵干燥器中。) （Correct）Now that we have modified the method, we can use it to 2. The contents of sentence in passive should be consistent with the fact. e.g. （1）In industry metals are often used in the form of alloys. （） （2）Fr

12、om these data it is seen that remote batch processing can provide batch processing at remote locations.(遠(yuǎn)程成批程序能夠把成批處遠(yuǎn)程成批程序能夠把成批處理發(fā)送到較遠(yuǎn)的位置。理發(fā)送到較遠(yuǎn)的位置。) （ ）Analysis of (2): “It is believed”, “it is seen” and alike usually means facts accepted by most of the people. Not everyone saw the data mentioned i

13、n sentence (2) Correct: From these data it can be seen that remote batch processing can provide batch processing at remote locations. 3. Avoid Excessive use of the passive voice.Excessive use of passive verbs creates scientific writing that is cumbersome(麻麻煩的煩的, ,苯重的苯重的) and indigestible to read.No

14、more than passive sentences in a paper.With good mixture with active voice may retains the necessary clarity of meaning and propriety of tone for scientific papers.IV. Ambiguous Reference(指代含指代含混混) When you use pron. or modifier, to be sure that these words can replace the previous nouns.e.g. (First

15、 draft） Ground loops associated with coaxial kuksl cables(同軸電纜同軸電纜) are totally eliminated with fiber optic cables. Because they are dielectric(絕緣體的絕緣體的), they do not attract lightning. Nor do they act as antennas.Analysis: “they” used above may refer to “fiber optic cables”, or to “ground loops ”(C

16、orrect) Ground loops associated with coaxial cables are totally eliminated with fiber optic cables. Because they are dielectric, fiber optic cables do not attract lightning. Nor do they act as antennas.(和同軸電纜相連接的接地線圈和同軸電纜相連接的接地線圈完全被光纖電纜所代替。因?yàn)楣饫w電纜完全被光纖電纜所代替。因?yàn)楣饫w電纜是電介質(zhì)，它不會被閃電電擊，也不起是電介質(zhì)，它不會被閃電電擊，也不起天線的

17、作用。天線的作用。)V. Misuse of the linking wordsErrors occurred usually: misuse “after all”. e.g. After all(畢竟畢竟), we come to the conclusion that use “but” and “although” in the same sentence. To add “it” improperly e.g. As it was mentioned above As it is shown in figure 12 Confuse the use of “comparing to/

18、with” and “compared to” or “in comparison with”. e.g. Comparing to the results和和相仿相仿 Comparing these latest results to/with our earlier ones （） Misuse “Conclusively” (有決定性的有決定性的) as “in conclusion” Misuse “particularly” (adv.)分別分別, 詳細(xì)地詳細(xì)地 as “in particularly=especially”特別特別,尤其尤其VI. Misleading parall

19、elism(平行結(jié)構(gòu)不平行平行結(jié)構(gòu)不平行) Use same grammatical structure for parallelism.(first draft) The principal processes are: 1. Coagulating and flocculation.凝固和絮結(jié)凝固和絮結(jié) 2. Removing the solids 3. Nitrogen-removal (氨氣氨氣) 4. Disinfection.(滅菌滅菌, ,消毒消毒)(Correct)The principal processes are: 1. Coagulation and flocculat

20、ion. 2. Removal of solids 3. removal of Nitrogen (氨氣氨氣) 4. DisinfectionExercise: The purpose of this report is to present evidence that the contracting officer(締約官締約官員員) acted within the range of his authority and his final opinion was binding(有約束力有約束力的的).本報(bào)告的目的是目前的證據(jù)表明，簽約者是在他的本報(bào)告的目的是目前的證據(jù)表明，簽約者是在他的

21、職權(quán)范圍和最后意見是有約束力的。職權(quán)范圍和最后意見是有約束力的。 This filter has two important functions: to reject impulse noise signals and passing low frequency command signals without amplitude (振幅振幅) or phase distortion.這種濾波這種濾波器具有的功能：拒絕脈沖噪聲信號和傳遞的低頻率信號器具有的功能：拒絕脈沖噪聲信號和傳遞的低頻率信號的幅度和相位失真不命令的幅度和相位失真不命令.Exercise: The TFC engineers

22、and I found that the selection of Hybrid Analog Transmission using FDM (Frequency Division Multiplexer) to be highly reliable, improved security of communications; complete ground isolation, free from cross-talk(串話干串話干擾擾), sparking, short circuit loading; RFI (radio frequency interference), EMI (ele

23、ctric magnetic field), and EMP (electric magnetic polarization) immunity. TFCTFC工程師和我發(fā)現(xiàn)使用工程師和我發(fā)現(xiàn)使用FDMFDM的混合類的混合類比傳輸可靠性大，大大改善通訊可靠比傳輸可靠性大，大大改善通訊可靠性；與地面全部距離，沒有電話干擾，性；與地面全部距離，沒有電話干擾，火花以及短路負(fù)載等；免受無線電頻火花以及短路負(fù)載等；免受無線電頻率干擾，電磁場和電磁偏振的影響。率干擾，電磁場和電磁偏振的影響。 The TFC engineers and I found the FDM hybrid analog trans

24、mission highly reliable: it greatly improved the security of communication; complete ground isolation, no cross-talk, no spark or short circuit load; RFI, EMI and EMP immunity.Part Two Use of Some Words and Expressions A lot of Spoken form, not used in scientific papers Similar: many, much, a great

25、deal ofAbove Refers to the material appeared one paragraph or several sentences before.e.g. The above explanation will help answer this question. (just mentioned)Adopt = applye.g. We can adopt the explanation introduced earlier to answer this question.e.g. We can apply the explanation introduced in

26、Section 2 to answer this question. Aforementioned(上述的上述的)and hereinafter(在下文在下文) Ancient English Aforementioned algorithm(算法算法, ,演繹演繹) algorithm described above Alternate and alternative Alternate: 輪流，交替發(fā)生輪流，交替發(fā)生 Alternative 二者或多個中擇一二者或多個中擇一 Alternatively 另做選擇另做選擇E.g. You have the alternative of wor

27、king hard and being successful or if not working hard and being unsuccessful. Alternatively, we can adopt the following algorithm. Apparently (1)(1)顯然的顯然的, , 明白的明白的, , 清晰可見的清晰可見的 (2)(2)表面上的表面上的, , 貌似貌似( (真實(shí)真實(shí)) )的的 Apparently, different fuel cell operation temperatures correspond to different optimal

28、 cycle configurations (最佳循環(huán)結(jié)構(gòu)最佳循環(huán)結(jié)構(gòu)). Use “obviously” and “obviously” instead. Approach: When x increased, the value of the function approaches to zero.() Dr. Kastern proposed a new approach to solving this problem. () As follows 同義短語：同義短語：as followings, as the followings, as below, the following, a

29、s shown below Aspect, area Wordy, Should be omitted. e.g. In the area of application of Genetic algorithm(遺傳法則遺傳法則), many approaches have been proposed. many applications of Regarding the application aspect of Genetic Algorithm, many approaches have been proposed. Many approaches to application of A

30、ssume assume as() assume to be () The main steam pressure is assumed as 3 MPa is assumed to be 3MPa Based on The object of “on” should related logically to the subject of the main clause When the pp. phrase can not modify the subject, we should use “on the basis of”, “by”, “from”, “according to”Anal

31、yze the following sentences: (1) Based on Eq. (6), it is obtained that (2) Based on the experimental results, we conclude that (3) Based on the conventional method using Lagrange multipliers(拉拉格朗日乘數(shù)格朗日乘數(shù)), the closed form solution can be written as follows.Correct ones: (1) From Eq. (6), it is obtai

32、ned that Eq. (6) entails(need) that (2) On the basis of the experimental results, we conclude that (3) According to the conventional method using Lagrange multipliers, (4) Based on the advanced digital technology, the Nikon Cool Pix 995 camera provides the excellent performance. () Belong Belong usu

33、ally means wealth belongings, or divided into one category. In scientific paper, when we say one item should be one part of one kind, we say “to fall into the category of” or “to be a form of”, “to be classified as”e.g. This problems is a type of nonlinear programming problem. Case: 情況，事例情況，事例 Follo

34、wed by “in which” or “when”, “where”, but not “that”e.g. Let us now examine the case that the mass flow rate of air is smaller than 3 kg/s. () in which Conclusion The collocation of conclusion:State conclusion, present conclusion()Make conclusions, give conclusions ()e.g. Finally, we make a conclusi

35、on in section 5. () state The final section of the paper gives the conclusion. () states Details Describe in detail, a detailed description The details will be described in the next section. The details of will be described A detailed description of will be given in the next section. Give: Better us

36、e “state”, “present”, “propose” to show “提出，提出， 給出給出”e.g. The concept of “sequential Combustion” developed by ABB is given in this paper. is presented/ is described/ is stated Method for “method for/of” is better than “method to do” We selected the method to solve this problem. for solving this prob

37、lem Show Dont use show to mean “提出提出”e.g. Simulation(模擬模擬) results are shown in section 3 of the paper. are presented Can not be used to introduce equatione.g. The total heat removal rate can then be shown as follows. be expressed Exercise: Try to correct the following sentences. 1. Although the new

38、 process has many advantages, but there are some weak points in it. 2. A large amount of samples are used for our experiments. 3. The humidifier does not work anymore. 4. Based on the research, we draw the conclusion that 5. There are basically two types of new simulation methods. 6. Because of the

39、fact that electricity can change into other forms of energy, it is widely used in industry. 7. Because that no machine ever runs without some friction, overcoming that friction wastes energy. 8. Because our home market was too small to support economic lamp production, so we have had to export our p

40、roducts from our earliest days. 9. Besides, sending these messages electronically eliminates the need for 100 pieces of paper. 10. They will call this installation as Heat Pump Dryer (HPD). 11. A refrigeration system is comprised of four main components. 12. For practical purpose, the wall temperatu

41、re may be considered as a constant. 13. Figure 10 demonstrates the natural irrational frequencies for trucks. 14. A kilometer equals to 1000 meters. 15. First we will give the governing equations in the Cartesian coordinates. 16. In such case, the results should be different from the previous one. 1

42、. Although the new process has many advantages, but（去掉）（去掉） there are some weak points in it. 2. A large amount （number）of samples are used for our experiments. 3. The humidifier does not work anymore （any longer）. 4. Based on(on the basis of) the research, we draw the conclusion that 5. There are b

43、asically (去掉去掉)two types of new simulation method. 6. Because of the fact that(去掉去掉) electricity can be changed into other forms of energy, it is widely used in industry. 7. Because that （去掉）（去掉）no machine ever runs without some friction, overcoming that friction wastes energy. 8. Because our home m

44、arket was too small to support economic lamp production, so（去掉）（去掉） we have had to export our products from our earliest days. 9. Besides（in addition）, sending these messages electronically eliminates the need for 100 pieces of paper. 10. They will call this installation as (去掉去掉)Heat Pump Dryer (HP

45、D). 11. A refrigeration system is comprised of（去掉）去掉）four main components. 12. For practical purpose, the wall temperature may be considered as a constant. 13. Figure 10 demonstrates （It illustrates）the natural irrational frequencies for trucks. (Fig. 10) 14. A kilometer equals to (去掉去掉)1000 meters.

46、 14. give （state）the governing equations in the Cartesian coordinates. 16. In such case,（In this case） the results should be different from the previous one. Writing TechniquesI. Enumeration(列舉列舉)Functions: To list all the sub-items in one category. Convenience for readers to have a full and complet

47、e understanding to the category.Used when you: List the set of equipments List finished and unfinished items of your process report List all advantages and disadvantages of a new product.Two ways to enumerate: Use marks, such as 1.2.3.or A.B.C Enumerate when you state.Useful Expression: Include, suc

48、h as; includefrom to Containsparts; all the fromto; are , which include; are made withSamples: 1. The definition of a breakwater(擋水擋水板板) is general. It includes everything from a simple pile of stones to an ordered pile of concrete blocks to a solid wall of cement. Logically, these different breakwa

49、ter designs, utilizing different materials, have varying degrees of effectiveness at shunting wave action. 2. We recommend the New Orleans heat exchanger Advantages of this system are: (1) Automatic control (2) Lower operating cost. Disadvantages are: (1) Probably slugging of liquid refrigerant to c

50、ompressors(壓縮機(jī)壓縮機(jī)). (2) complex automatic control II. Comparison and Contrast (比較和對比比較和對比)Difference: Comparison is used to compare the similarities of the two things in one category Contrast is for differences between them.Commonly Used ExpressionsThe purpose: be compared with for the purpose of/to

51、, in order to, so that comparisons were performed in order to determine (for the purpose of determining/ so that we could determine) The Object: is (are) compared with (among /between) By comparison with/ compared to/In comparison withThe Basis: is used as the basis for comparing Comparisons were ba

52、sed on The basic criterion for comparison isExamples: A series of comparisons were performed in order to determine the difference between quantitatively measured and predicted temperatures The best result was then used as the basis for comparing the accuracies estimated using Equations 1 and 2.III.

53、Cause and EffectUsed in the following items: Logical argumentation Explain the reasons Predict some events Explain a processCommonly Used Expressions1. From cause to effect This accounts for the fact that It was partly for these reasons that cause (generate / yield / bring about / give rise to / result in / lead to) This explains why As a consequence / As a result/ the consequence isFrom effect to cause result from because / since is attributable to (due to / effected by ) is determined by (decided by / caused by) As a result of