摩登家庭-season1第一集字母

1、Claire : Kids, breakfast! Kids? Phil, would you get them?Phil : Yeah, just a sec.Claire : Kids!Phil : That is so,.Claire : Okay.Phil : Kids, get down here!Haley : Why are you guys yell ing at us, whe n were way upstairs, just text me.Claire : Alright, Thats not gonna happen, and, wow, youre not wear

2、ing that outfit.Haley : Whats Wrong with it?Claire : Hon ey, do you have any thi ng to say to your daughter. about her skirt?Phil : Sorry? Oh yeah, that looks really cute sweetheart!Haley : Tha nks!Claire : No, its way to short, people know youre a girl, you dont n eed to prove it to them.Alex: Luke

3、 got his head stuck in the banister again.Phil : I got it. Wheres the baby oil?Claire : Its on our bedside tip. I Dont know, find it. Come on!Claire : I. was out of con trol grow ing up, there, you know, i said it. I.I, I just dont want mykids to make the same bad mistakes i made. If Haley never wou

4、ld exhibit on a beach in Florida, half n aked.Ive done my job.Phil : Our job.Claire : Right. Ive done our job.Gloria : Bravo Manny! Kick it! Kick it! Manny go! No! That was a penalty!Jay : Gloria, there Owens six, Lets take it down a notch.Gloria : Were, very differe nt. Hes from the city. He has bi

5、g bus in ess. I come from a small village, very poor,but very very beautiful. Its the number one village in North-Columbia for all the. whats the word?Jay : Murders.Gloria : Yes, the murders.Gloria : Manny, stop him! Stop him!Boy : Dammit, manny!a Mom : Come on, coach! Youve gotta take that kid out!

6、Gloria : You wanna take him out? How about I take you out!?Jay : Honey, honey.Gloria : Why dont you worry about your son! Hes spend the first half with his hands in hispants!Josh : Ive wan ted to tell her that for the last six weeks. Im Josh, Ryans dad.Gloria : Hi, Im Gloria Pritchett. Ma nnys mothe

7、r.Josh : Oh, this must be your dad.Jay : Her dad? Uh, no, no, thats funny. Actually no, Im her husba nd! Dont be fooled by the.Give me a sec ond here.Mitchell : Whos the good girl? Whos that?Old lady : Oh, Shes adorable!Mitchell :Oh, tha nk you!Old lady : Hey precious.Mitchell :Hello. Hi, hi. Weve j

8、ust adopted her from Viet nam and were bri nging her homefor the first time.Man : Shes an an gel. You and youre wife must be thrilled!Camer on : Sorry, sorry, sorry, Daddy n eeded sn acks. Hi! So, what are we talki ng about?Mitchell : We have bee n together for. five, five years now? And weve decide

9、d we really wan ted to have ababy. so, we in itially asked one of our lesbia n frie nds to be a surrogate.Camer on : Then we figured, they are already mean eno ugh. Can you imagi ne one of them preg nant? No, thank you. Ekk.Mitchell : You saw that right? Everybodyfon dli ng up to Lillia n, the n you

10、 walk on. andsudde nly its all Huu. Im gonna give a speech.Cameron :You are not giving a speech . you gonna stuck with this people for the next fivehours!Mitchell : Youre right, its okay, Im sorry.Woma n : Hon ey, look at that baby with those creampuffs.Mitchell :Okay, excuse me. Excuse me, but this

11、 baby would have grow n up in a crowdedorpha nage if it was nt for us creampuffs . and you know what, to all of you who judge, hear this, love knows norace.Camero n : Mitchell!Mitchell :. creed or gen der and shame on you! You small min ded, ig nora nt fe.Camero n : Mitchell!Mitchell : What?Camer on

12、 : Shes got the creampuffs.Mitchell : Oh!Camer on : We would like to pay for every on es headsets.MODERN FAMILY - SEASON 1 EPISODE 1Phil : Buddy, why do you keep getting stuck like this?Luke : I thought I could get out this time.Alex : rm just gonna say it. he needs to be checked by a specialist.Phi

13、l : There! Be free, Excalibur!Haley : Im hav ing a frie nd over today.Claire : Who?Haley : You dont know him.Claire : Him. Him?Luke : Oeh, a boy! You gonna kiss him?Haley : Shut up!Phil : Easy. Easy.Alex: You dont even.Claire : Luke, Alex, why dont you take it outside, okay?Alex: And do what?Phil :

14、Fighting a son, it would be a nice change. Im kidding!Claire : Haley! Whos the boy?Haley : His n ame is Dyla n . You kno w, I might as well just tell him not to come, because you guys are justgoing to embarrass me aga in.Claire : Honey! Hang on a second, youre fifteen, its the first time youve had a

15、 boy over. I mean Im bound to bea little surprised, but. Were not gonna embarrass you!Phil : Im better go charge the camcorder. Im kidding! Come on! Who are you talking to?Phil : Im a cool dad. Thats. thats my thang. Im hype, I surf the web, I text. LOL, Laugh Out Loud, OMG, OhMy God, WTF, Why The F

16、ace. You kno w, I know all the dances to High School Musical, so.Alex: MOM! DAD!Claire : What happened?Alex: Luke just shot me!Luke : I did nt mean to!Claire : Are you okay?Alex: No, the little bitch shot me!Claire : Lan guage!Luke : Theyre only plastic bbs! It was an accident!Claire : What did I te

17、ll you what happened if you got him a gun? Deal with this!Phil : Buddy. Un cool.Claire : Thats it? No, no, no, the agreeme nt was that, if he shoots some one . you shoot him. Phil : We wereserious about that?Claire : Yes, we were and now you have to follow through.Luke : Im so sorry!Claire : Liar. G

18、o!Phil : But hes got a birthday party.Alex: Whats more important here dad?Claire : You can shoot him afterwards, hell be home at two.Phil : I cant shoot him at two, showing a house at two.Alex: What about three?Claire : No, hes at a soccer game at three, and then. Oh, we gotta leave for that dinnert

19、hi ng in five. 4:15, you can shoot him at 4:15.Phil : Yeah, I guess that works for me.Claire : Shoot LukePhil : Sorry dude, its on the calendarLuke : Oh, come on!Manny : rm quitt ing soccer, it is a game for childre n.Gloria : No, youre not quitt ing. You would have stopped that goal if you were nt

20、stari ng at that little girl.Manny : She is not a girl, She is a woma n.Jay : You know Gloria, that blowup with that other mom, why do you have to do things like that?Gloria : If some one says somethi ng about my family, Im going to.Jay : Im just . saying you could take it down here a little bit, th

21、ats all.Gloria : Well yeah, coz thats whe n you live dow n here . but I live up here!Jay : You dont have to be so emotional all the time, thats all Im saying! Manny, youre with me on this, right?Manny : I wanna tell Brenda Feldma n I love her.Jay : Oh, for Gods sake.Gloria : Honey, shes 16.Manny : O

22、h, its okay for you to take an older lover?Jay : Hey! Watch it!Manny :I want to go to the mall where she works. But first we n eed to get my white shirt,the silk one.Gloria : Okay, if thats what you really want to do.Jay : Seriously, not to be the evil stepdad, but if you put on a puffy white shirt

23、and declare your love for a 16 yearold, youre gonna be swinging from the flagpole in your puffy white un derpa nts!Manny : Stop the car!Gloria : Where are you going? You see? You hurt his feeli ngs.Jay : Well, if it toughens him up a little bit, then . oh, jeez, hes picking flowers!Gloria : Manny is

24、 very passi on ate, just like his father. My first husba nd is very han dsome but, too crazy. Itseemed like all what we did was, fight and make love, fight and make love, fight and make love. One time, Imnot kiddi ng you, we fell out the win dow together.Jay : Which one were you doing? Im hearing th

25、is for the first time!Mitchell : This does nt worry you? She barely slept in the pla ne, and shes still wide awake. Camer on :Oh, stop worry ing!Mitchell :But Cam, That orpha nage, it was all wome n. Maybe she cant fall asleep uni essshe feels a woma ns shape.Camer on : I guess thats possible.Mitche

26、ll : So, here.Camer on : What the hell is that suppose to mean?Camer on : Yes, Ive gained a few extra pounds while we were expect ing the baby. whichhas bee n very difficult. But, appare ntly youre body does a n est ing, very mater nal, primal. thing, were it retains nu trie nts. Some sort of molecu

27、lar physiology thi ng. But thats scie nee, you cant, you cant fight it, so.Mitchell :rm not say ing any thi ng.Camer on : Youre say ing everythi ng.Mitchell :Count to three, one, t.Camer on : Three!Mitchell : Okay. Oh Cam!Camero n : Oh My God, do you love it?Mitchell : Yes, I. What the hell is that?

28、Camer on : I had Andre do it whe n we were gone.Mitchell : Is that us? With win gs?Camer on : Were floati ng above her, always there to protect her.Mitchell :Well, thats reassuri ng, right Lily? Yeah, we tore you away from everythi ng youknow but dont worry, thi ngs are no rmal here. Youre fathers a

29、re float ing fairies! Can you call Andre? Have himpaint something a little less. gay? By the way. We need to stop having frie nds with n ames like An dre.Camer on :Redheaded dad is angry daddy.Mitchell : No Im not.Camer on :Yes, you are. Eve n Pepper poin ted it out on the way home from the airport.

30、Mitchell : Okay, thats ano ther one. Pepper!Camer on :Okay, whats up?Mitchell : Alright, look. I . I never told my family we were adopting a baby.Camer on :I know.Mitchell : You do?Cameron :Ya, And I dont blame you, I know your family. You tell them, they say somethingjudgme ntally.Mitchell : Exactl

31、y!Camer on :You get mad.Mitchell :I know, and whats supposed to be no thi ng, but joyful sudde nly tur ns into thishuge fight.Camer on :And who wants a big emoti onal sce ne like that?Mitchell : Thank you, Im so relieved you un dersta nd.Camer on :I in vited them over for dinner toni ght.Mitchell :

32、What?Camer on :I had to! This would have gone on forever. Youre an avoider.Mitchell : No, no! Cam, Im calling them now, Im cancelling.Camer on :No, youre not! Youre telli ng your family youve adopted a baby, toni ght. Andyou do have avoidi ng issues! Eve n An gelo said so.Mitchell : Are you really n

33、ot heari ng these thi ngs?Haley : Dont answer it, Ill get it!Claire : Hi! Hey, you must be Dyla n.Phil : Hey, Dylan, yeah.Claire : : Im Haleys mother.Haley : Hey, come on, lets go.Claire : Hang on one sec ond. Dyla n. Youre still in High School?Dylan : Yeah, Im a Senior.Claire : Phil, sweetie, honey

34、. He is Dylan and he is a Senior.you have to scare him.Phil : Let me meet this playa. Phil Dunphy, yo!Phil : Its like that, you just start down on him and let the eyes do the work. Youre mouth might be say ing: Hey,we cool! But youre eyes are like: No, we not! Nice to meet you! No, its not! Its all

35、good? No, its .Dyla n : Jo.Haley : Okay, Ive see n two guysPhil : Wait You two . two keep it real? You know what I mean, son?Dyla n : Not really.Haley : Please stop.Phil : Thats cool! Oh, God, Thats my back!Claire : Sweatheart.Phil : Owh, oh, I slipped in the baby oil.Phil : Ooh, where you from orig

36、inally? I could defeat you if it came to a physical confron tati on.Claire : I dont know about this, shall I call a doctor?Phil : No, no, no. Youre very strong homesDyla n : Than ks.Phil : Okay, nice, nice soft landing. Okay, I am on my side though, so flip me right back and were good. Well begood.

37、Just n eed to get flipped right on my back, and we should be fine, so.Manny : Brenda Feldma n.Gloria : What is that?Manny : A poem Ive written for Brenda Feldman.Jay : Of course that is.Manny : I put my thoughts into words, and now my words into acti on!Jay : Ey, I give you 50 bucks not to do this.M

38、anny :rm eleve n years old, what am I gonna do with mon ey?Jay : What are you gonna do with a sixteen year old?Gloria : Its like a bullfight!Jay : Ever seen a bullfight? I cant watch this.Gloria : Youre in such a bad mood. And I know why, Its because that man thought you were my father.Jay : No.Glor

39、ia : Yes.Jay : No.Gloria : When you say no like that, its always yes. Come on, were in the mall, lets get you like some youn gerclothes . theres a store there that I kno w.Jay : I dont n eed any youn ger clothes! And I dont care what some jackass in a pair of ripped jeans thi nksabout me.Gloria : Go

40、od, you should nt. You should only care what I thi nk. I love you, and I dont care how old you are. Sostop being an gloomy goos, and stop being so hard on Manny.Jay : The only reason Im hard on Manny is just because I dont wanna see him make a fool of himself. And Ican smell that hair goo of his fro

41、m here!Gloria : Look, I dont know whats gonna happe n to him over there but youre his family now. And that meansonly one thi ng. You be there winning his back, not to spit in his face!Jay : What?Gloria : Somethi ng my mom always says, its gorgeous in Spani sh. Look, hes there.Manny : She has a boyfr

42、ie nd.Gloria : OHH, Im sorry, mi nino.Manny : I gave her my heart. She gave me a picture of me as an old time sheriff. That was pretty stupid of me,was nt it?Gloria : No mi amore, It was brave, right Jay? Brave.Jay : I. b. youll know better next time. Come on! Lets get a pretzel.Security guard :Oh,

43、excuse me, sir? We asked all mall-walkers to stay to the right.Haley : Alex, get out! MOM!Claire : Alex, leave your sister alone!Alex: I was just getting my book, gosh!Claire : I know sweetie, but you n eed to respect her privacy. What are they doing up there? Alex: Nothing,Iying in her bed, watchin

44、g a movie.Claire : Okay. Okay. Im making a cake for tonight, you wanna help me with the frosting? Alex: Sure. So, youknow if Haley got pregnant, would you ever pretend she has mono for a few mon ths and the n like tell everyone the babys yours?Claire : What?Alex: That senior at school was out sick f

45、or like four mon ths, but Terna Wrist niks says she was out breastfeeding in a clea nup carwash.Phil : Buddy, what are you wearing?Luke : Nothi ng.Phil : No jacket, one hat. How many pairs of underwear do you have on?Luke : One . Six.Alex: First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat,

46、 and how awesome would it beto have a fake little brother whos really my n ephew.Claire : Haley is not gett ing preg nant!Alex: rm just saying if.Claire : I know, and I know you like to make trouble for your sister but its not gonna workthis time. You know why? Cause your sister is a good girl. I kn

47、o w, I was just like her whe n I was.Phil : I want you to know, rm not enjoying this. This is an importa nt less on that youre leaning, so. Its all good,keep it.Luke : Youre to close, its gonna hurt.Phil : Its supposed to hurt!Luke : And why are you smiling?Phil : Im. What? Oh, forget it. I cant do

48、this. The point is, youre scared. I think youve learned your less on.Luke : Awww!Haley : Mom?! What are you doi ng?Claire : Hey, I was just dropp ing off some laun dry, This is a bad time?Haley : Yeah.Claire : Oh, okay.Haley : Can you shut the door please?Claire : Actually were just gonna go ahead a

49、nd leave that open.Haley : Why?Claire : Because I have seen this little show before: Lying on the bed with a tall, senior. one minute youre justfrie nds, watchi ng Falc on Crest, and the n ext youre lying undern eath the air-hockey table with your braun-pocket!Haley : Mom!Luke : You hit my bone!Phil

50、 : It was an accident!Luke : I thought we were frie nds!Phil : I am your friend!Haley : Dad?! Dad, you have got to talk to mom, she is like completely freak ing out and embarrass ing me.Phil : Well, hon ey, youre mom isnt always as cool about thi ngs as I. What is with this thi ng!Mitchell : My dad,

51、 ehm, my dad isnt completely comfortable with this, ehm, he still does this thi ng. Its bee nfive years now. And he still does this thi ng where he announces himself before walk ing into any room were in.Just to make sure he does nt have to ever see us kiss. Camer on :Wish my mother had that system.

52、Remember?Mitchell : Not now.Mitchell : I still cant believe you did this to me!Cameron :Would you get in the spirit of things! Its a celebration!Mitchell : Oh God.Camer on : Okay, Im gonna go get Lily ready, and I want you to just come straight out withit,Mitchell : Alright.Camer on : You can do thi

53、s! Sports guy chest bump,Mitchell : No.Camer on : Sports guy chest bump!Mitchell : Cam. Do it, GO!Mitchell : Hey, how are you? Hi guys! Well tha nk you, tha nks.Claire : Oh Dont thank us open it, dad is coming right behind.Jay : Knock, knock, were here! Coming in!Mitchell : Dont worry dad, no thi ng

54、 gay going on here. May I take youre multicolored coat and yourebejeweled cap?Jay : Yeah.Phil : Hey Jay.Claire : Gloria, hi! How are you?Phil : Hi Gloria, how are you? What a beautiful dress!Gloria : Tha nk you, Phil! Oh, Okay.Claire : Phil! She said Phil, not feel!Jay : So how was youre trip?Mitche

55、ll : It was good, it was good actually but.about that I have something that I need to tell you guys. We didnt just go to Viet nam for pleasure. We, kinda have some big n ews. Jay : Oh, God, if Cam comes out here withboobs, Im leaving!Claire : Dad!Haley : I hope he did nt embarrass you, mom.Claire :

56、Dont mind her, Haley had her first boy over today, and Phil shot him.Mitchell :Any way, so about a year ago. Cam and I sort of feeli ng this longing for somethi ngmore.like, maybe a baby.Jay : Woooh, thats a bad idea.Mitchell : What do you mea n, bad idea?Jay : Well, kids need a mother! I mean, if y

57、ou two guys are bored, get a dog!Mitchell : Were not bored, dad!Gloria : I support you Mitchell, and though youre not my sonClaire : 1,1 thi nk what dad is trying to say is that, Mitchell youre a little uptight, kids bring chaos and you donthan dle well.Mitchell : Oh, Thats not what dad is say ing .

58、 Thats what youre say ing. And its in sult ing in an whole different way.Phil : Okay, people, lets all chillax!Alex: Hey! Wheres uncle Cameron?Mitchell : Fin ally, tha nk you, some one whos not in sult ing me, no tices hes not here.Jay : Oh! So, thats the big announ ceme nt. You two broke up. Well a baby was nt