有關(guān)英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯爆笑簡(jiǎn)單兩人

1、有關(guān)英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯爆笑簡(jiǎn)單兩人1、 "A man went to the doctor and explained, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."一個(gè)人跑到醫(yī)生那里， 說(shuō)：“ 醫(yī)生，我碰哪兒，哪兒疼。”The doctor asked, "What do you mean?"醫(yī)生問(wèn)，“什么意思 ?”The man said, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch

2、 my forehead, the pain is excruciating." 那個(gè)人說(shuō)：“我摸我的肩膀的時(shí)候，真的很疼。摸膝蓋的時(shí)候哎 呀 !摸我的前額，真的是鉆心的疼。 ”The doctor said, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“我知道是什么問(wèn) 題了你的手指受傷了。 ” "2 、 "A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacat

3、ion: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all

4、 that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel.And, if

5、 your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too." 一 個(gè)人給一家他計(jì)劃在假期里停留的小旅館寫了封信， “我非常希望帶 著我的狗，它很干凈很有教養(yǎng)，你能允許它和我睡一間屋子嗎?”旅館主人立即回了封信， “我經(jīng)營(yíng)旅館很多年了，狗從沒偷過(guò)毛巾，床 單， 餐具，或者墻上的畫。我也從沒有在半夜因?yàn)楣泛茸砗[而趕 走它，狗也從不付帳就跑掉。 實(shí)際上我們非常歡迎您的狗來(lái)我們旅館， 如果它為您擔(dān)保，也歡迎您來(lái)。 "3、"A lawyer opened the door of his BMW,

6、when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic

7、, you make me sick!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!" 律師、 寶馬和胳 膊一個(gè)律師打開他的寶馬車門，突然一輛汽車駛過(guò)來(lái)把門撞飛了， 警察趕到現(xiàn)場(chǎng)，律師正痛苦地抱怨毀壞了他心愛的寶馬。 “ 警察同志， 看看他們把我的車弄的 ! ”律師哀怨地說(shuō)。“你們律師真是物質(zhì)至上， 我很不舒服 !”警察反駁說(shuō)，“你這么關(guān)心你

8、可惡的寶馬，你可能沒有 注意到你的左胳膊也沒了。 ”律師終于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀， “天 哪，我的勞力士手表在哪兒 ?” "4、"love letter Guy in the letters to his girlfriend wrote: "love your love so much, that would like to give you go through hell. On Saturday as it does not rain, I'll come. 小伙子在給女朋友的信中寫到： “愛你愛得如 此之深， 以至愿為你赴湯蹈火。星期六如不下雨，

9、我一定來(lái)。 "5、"late In the subway, a man found pickpocket is cutting his wallet, and humorously said: "man, you came to night! I today although took salary, but my wife lay more quickly than you!" 在地鐵里，一位男子發(fā)現(xiàn)扒手 正在掏他的錢包，便幽默地說(shuō)： “老兄，你來(lái)晚了！我今天雖然領(lǐng) 了薪水，但我太太下手比你快多了！ ”"6、"While proud

10、ly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" "Watch," the man said and proceed

11、ed to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!" 一個(gè)學(xué)生帶他朋友們參觀他的 新公寓，甚是得意。“那個(gè)大銅鑼和錘子是干什么用的？” 他的一個(gè) 朋友問(wèn)他。“那玩意兒厲害了， 那是一個(gè)會(huì)說(shuō)話的鐘” ，學(xué)生回答?！斑@ 鐘怎么工作的”，他的朋友問(wèn)?！翱粗?，別眨

12、眼了” ，那學(xué)生走上前一 把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽 到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，你這白癡！現(xiàn)在是凌晨?jī)牲c(diǎn)鐘了！ ”7、"We were leaving a football game in a throng1 of people,and my husband,who never displays affection in public, took my hand. I was delighted. As we walked hand in hand out of the stadium, I looked up at him, smiling,

13、 and asked, "You don't want to lose me?" "No," he said. "I don't want to look for you." 我們到人很擁擠的地方去看足球比賽。我 那從來(lái)不會(huì)在公共場(chǎng)所顯露感情的丈夫拉著我的手。 我高興極了。 當(dāng) 我們手拉手走出體育場(chǎng)的時(shí)候，我抬頭看著他微笑著問(wèn)： “你是不想 把我丟了吧？” “不，”他說(shuō)，“我是不想去找你。 ”"8、"About two weeks before our fifth anniversary, my h

14、usband ased me what I would like for a gift. I told him I wanted something impractical1 and romantic. On our anniversary, he presented me with a lovely gold bracelet2. "A little four -letter word made me get this for you," he said softly. "Oh, how sweet," I whispered. "L-O-V

15、-E?" "No," he replied. "S-A-L-E." 我們結(jié)婚五周年前大約兩周時(shí)， 我丈夫問(wèn)我喜歡什么禮物。 我告訴他我要那些沒有實(shí)用價(jià)值卻又富于浪漫色彩的。 在我們的周 年紀(jì)念日那天，他向我展示了一副可愛的金手鐲。 “一個(gè)小小的四字 詞，讓我為你買了這個(gè)。 ”他溫和地說(shuō)。 “哦，多甜蜜?！蔽叶Z(yǔ)他。 “L-O-V-E（愛） ?” “不對(duì)，”他回答?！癝-A-L-E.（處理品）”"9、""Did the children behave when you bathed them?" inqui

16、red the mistress to the new French nurse, when she returned home from the party. "All but the biggest boy? We have only one boy, Freddy, and he's only two years old." "Which biggest boy? We have only one boy, Freddy, and he is only two years old." "It is not little Fredd

17、y, I mean. It is the big boy with glasses and curly hair." "Good gracious! That's not my boy, that's my husband." “你給孩子們洗澡的時(shí)候他們規(guī)矩不規(guī)矩？” 位女士從宴會(huì)回家后對(duì)一名法國(guó)護(hù)士詢問(wèn)道。 “除了那個(gè)最大的男 孩，其他表現(xiàn)都很好。在我把他放到水里之前，他又鬧又踹。 ”護(hù)士 回答道。 “哪個(gè)最大的男孩？我們只有一個(gè)男孩，弗雷德，他只有 兩歲?！?“不是小弗雷德，我是說(shuō)那個(gè)戴著眼鏡卷頭發(fā)的大男孩。 ” “老天，那不是我的孩子，那是我

18、丈夫。 ” "10、"round and round Lao wang rested under the tree, Lao li came up and said, "hey, why not go up the hill cutting wood?" Pharaoh said: "cut wood stem what?" Lao li said: "good money! Sold into money can buy a donkey, then along home door -to-door selling woo

19、d. Zheng money will buy trucks, and then buy wood factory sells wooden ware, buy more trucks, so that you can be really rich." The old king: "fortune"? Lao li answer: "fortune can be to free and unfettered freely do well." Pharaoh said, "that you think I doing now?"

20、; 周而復(fù)始 老王在樹下休息， 老李走 過(guò)來(lái)對(duì)他說(shuō)：“嗨，為什么不去上山砍柴？” 老王說(shuō)：“砍柴干什么？” 老李說(shuō)：“好賣錢啊。賣到錢就可以買驢，再沿家挨戶賣柴。掙了錢 就再 買卡車，然后買木廠賣木 器，再買更多的卡車，那樣就可以發(fā) 大財(cái)了?！?老王問(wèn)：“發(fā)了財(cái)干什么？” 老李答：“發(fā)了財(cái)就可以逍 遙自在地享清福嘛?！?老王說(shuō)：“那你以為我現(xiàn)在在干什么？” "11、"This pampered young lady had left her family for the first time to join the college and was feeling quite

21、 lonely on Thanksgiving. She decided to cook a Thanksgiving dinner for herself. She was narrating her first experience in the kitchen to her mother and mother really wanted to know about the results. When asked how the food was, the lady replied with a shudder that though the ready -made soup and pi

22、zza were great, she had quite a trouble with turkey. Trying to get to the root of the problem, the mother asked, "Was it burnt?" The lady replied, "Oh! I couldn't taste it mom. It simply wouldn't sit still!" 一位養(yǎng)尊處優(yōu)的年輕 小姐頭一回離家去上大學(xué)， 到了感恩節(jié)她倍感孤單。 她決定為自己做 一頓感恩節(jié)大餐。她正在向自己的母親描述自己

23、第一次做飯的經(jīng)歷， 而母親也很想知道結(jié)果如何。 當(dāng)被問(wèn)及做得好不好吃， 這位小姐打了 一個(gè)顫說(shuō)， 盡管速食湯和批薩不錯(cuò)， 但是烹飪火雞時(shí)卻遇到了不小的 麻煩。她的母親想找到問(wèn)題的根源，于是就問(wèn)她： “是不是烤焦了 ?” 這位小姐回答道：“哦，我沒法品嘗它，媽媽?；痣u就是不肯老實(shí)地 坐著!”"12、"A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal- As I neared the gate, a plump,

24、 middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful wom

25、en failing at your feet?" 摔倒的女人 上下班高峰期， 我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車。 接近門口， 一位肥胖的中 年婦女從后面沖過(guò)來(lái)， 沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳， 仰面滑 倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。我正準(zhǔn)備扶她，她卻自己爬了起 來(lái)。她鎮(zhèn)定了一下，對(duì)我擠了一下眉，說(shuō)道： “總是有漂亮女人拜倒 在你腳下嗎？” "13、"It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I near

26、ed the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you alwa

27、ys have beautiful women failing at your feet?" 上下班高峰期 ,我匆匆奔向紐約 豪華中心站去趕一趟火車 .接近門口 ,一位肥胖的中年婦女從后面沖過(guò) 來(lái),沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳 ,仰面滑倒了 .她的慣性使她 接近了我的腳 .我正準(zhǔn)備扶她 ,她卻自己爬了起來(lái) .她鎮(zhèn)定了一下 ,對(duì)我 擠了一下眉 ,說(shuō)道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎 ?”"14、"A guy goes to visit his grandma and he brings his friend with him. While he's ta

28、lking to his grandma, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off. As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandma, "Thanks for the peanuts." She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off." 一名男子帶著朋友去探望 他的祖母。

29、當(dāng)他和祖母聊天時(shí)，他的朋友開始吃咖啡桌上放的花生， 并把花生都給吃光了。他們離開時(shí)，他的朋友對(duì)祖母說(shuō) :"謝謝您的花 生。" 結(jié)果祖母說(shuō) :"唉！自從我牙齒掉光后，我就只能吮掉花生豆外層的巧克力了15、"A father was trying to teach his son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one

30、in the whiskey curled up and died. "All right, son," asked the father, "What does that show you?" "Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms." 一位父親 打算讓自己的兒子知道酒精有多么可怕。 他把分別把兩只蟲子放到一 杯清水和一杯威士忌里做對(duì)比。 清水里蟲子安然無(wú)恙， 結(jié)果威士忌里 的蟲子蜷縮了幾下就掛掉了。 "所以，兒子啊，

31、" 父親問(wèn)道， " 得出什 么結(jié)論？ " "恩，這說(shuō)明，你只要喝酒的話，肚里就不會(huì)長(zhǎng)蟲了！ ""16、"The poor husband"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explai

32、ned to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong. 可憐的丈夫“你根本無(wú)法想象和 我妻子打交道是多么的難， ”一個(gè)男人對(duì)他的朋友訴苦說(shuō)， “她問(wèn)我一 個(gè)問(wèn)題，然后自己回答了， 過(guò)后又花半個(gè)小時(shí)跟我解釋為什么我的答 案是錯(cuò)的。 "17、"Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classro

33、om. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " 鳥窩與頭發(fā) 我姐姐是一位小學(xué)老師

34、。 一次一個(gè) 學(xué)生告訴她說(shuō)一只鳥兒在教室外樹上壘了個(gè)窩。 “是什么鳥呢？” 我姐姐問(wèn)她。 “我沒看到鳥兒， 老師，只看到鳥窩?！蹦呛⒆踊卮鹫f(shuō)。 “那么，你能給我們描述一下這個(gè)鳥巢嗎？” 我姐姐鼓勵(lì)她道。 “哦， 老師，就像你的頭發(fā)一樣。 ”"18、"Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said

35、, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told if I made ugly faces, my face would freeze and stay like that". Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned." 史密斯小姐發(fā)現(xiàn)她的一名學(xué)生在操場(chǎng)上向別人做鬼臉，便 去輕責(zé)他。 這位主日學(xué)校的老師甜甜地微笑著，說(shuō)： "博比，我小的 時(shí)候，有人告訴我如果我做鬼臉，我的臉就會(huì)僵硬，

36、永遠(yuǎn)都那么丑。" 博比抬頭看了看老師，說(shuō)： " 史密斯小姐，你可別說(shuō)沒人警告過(guò)你 啊。""19、"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class, said an instructor at a university graduate engineering course. ""When I say 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond 'Good afternoon.&#

37、39; But the graduate students just write it down."" 一個(gè)教師在研究生工程學(xué)課堂 上說(shuō)： "" 我一眼就能看出來(lái)哪些是本科生， 哪些是研究生。 "" "" 我 說(shuō) ' 下午好 ' 的時(shí)候，本科生回答 ' 下午好 ' ，而研究生則把這句 話記在本子上。 """20、我住進(jìn)宿舍的第一天，發(fā)現(xiàn)房間里有冷水熱水兩個(gè)水龍頭，因 為別人告訴我英國(guó)的冷水可以直接喝， 我以為熱水也是， 于是很興奮 的用熱水沖了一杯咖啡

38、21、" 某男，粗通英文，至使館，有表要填，有一欄是 sex。該男思 之久已，毅然下筆：“Once a week”。簽證官觀后暴笑， 曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female. ”該男頓時(shí)赧顏，思之，填下 “female“，官楞之，曰：“ shouldn't it be male?”男急釋曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female”. "22、某人刻苦學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)， 終有小成。一日上街不慎與一老外相撞， 忙 說(shuō)：I am sorry.老外應(yīng)道：I am s

39、orry too.某人聽后又道：I am sorry three. 老外不解，問(wèn)： What are you sorry for?某人無(wú)奈，道： I am sorry five.23、話說(shuō)某年某月的某一天，叁個(gè)神箭手約在一起比箭，目標(biāo)是十 尺外仆人頭上的蘋果。 A 神箭手挽弓長(zhǎng)射，咻一聲，利箭正中蘋果。 A 高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大 拇指道： I AM 后羿！ B 神箭手照 本宣科，射中蘋果，這回他自大的喊了一句： I AM 丘比特！輪到 C 了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！ 結(jié)果正中仆人的心臟。就聽他結(jié)結(jié)巴巴 好久才吐出一句：I.I.I.AM.SORRY.24、一位來(lái)自日本的旅客，坐出租車去機(jī)場(chǎng)的

40、路上，看到一輛汽車 經(jīng)過(guò)，就說(shuō)：“oh，TOKOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fas！t ”又有一輛 經(jīng)過(guò)，他又說(shuō)： “oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fas！t ”司機(jī) 有點(diǎn)不高興，覺得他太吵了！當(dāng)?shù)谌v經(jīng)過(guò)時(shí)，他還是說(shuō)：“oh，HONDA！ Made in Japan! It is very fas！t ”后來(lái)到了機(jī)場(chǎng)， 那個(gè)日本人就問(wèn)：“HowMuch？”出租車司機(jī)說(shuō)：“1000！”日本人驚奇的問(wèn)司機(jī)：“為什么那 么貴？”出租車司機(jī)回答說(shuō)：“oh ，mileomete（r 計(jì)程表）！Made in Japan! It i

41、s very fast！”25、""Sonia Sotomayor is testifying in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee. And she has said that she 'felt out of place attending Princeton.' Sotomayor says there were so many white males in Princeton, she felt like she was testifying in front of the Senate Judicia

42、ry Committee."索尼婭·索托馬約爾現(xiàn)在在參議院司法委員會(huì)做聽證。 她曾經(jīng)說(shuō)過(guò)她在普林斯頓的時(shí)候感覺不太合群。 索托馬約爾說(shuō)普林斯 頓的白人太多了，她感覺她像是出席參議院司法委員會(huì)聽證會(huì)一樣。26、Where the Declaration of Independence was signed? Teacher： “ Who knows where the Declaration of In dependence was signed?” Student：“I know，I the bottom of the page. ”獨(dú)立宣言是在哪兒 簽字的？老師：“誰(shuí)知道

43、獨(dú)立宣言在哪兒簽字的？”學(xué)生： “我知 道，我知道。是在那頁(yè)紙的底部。 ”27、Two twins went to the kindergarten“. Who's the elder and who's the younger one?” asked a nurse. One of them winked and said，“ Elder brother ，don't tell her.”兩個(gè)雙胞胎走進(jìn)幼兒園?！澳銈儍蓚€(gè)誰(shuí)大誰(shuí)小 ?” 保育員問(wèn)。其中的一個(gè)眨了眨眼睛說(shuō)， “哥哥，不要告訴她。 ”28、One summer evening during a violen

44、t thunderstorm1） a mother was tucking her small boy into was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor2) in his voice ，“Mommy，will you sleep with me tonight ?”The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring3) hug“. I can' t， dear.” She said.“ I have to sleep in Daddy's room.”Along

45、silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice：“ The big sissy4)”. 一個(gè)夏季的晚 上，雷雨大作，母親讓小男孩上床鉆進(jìn)被窩。她正準(zhǔn)備熄燈，孩子聲 音顫抖地問(wèn)：“媽咪，你今晚可以陪我睡嗎 ?”母親笑著，擁抱一下小 孩安慰說(shuō)，“親愛的，不可以。我得睡在爸爸的房間。 ”一陣長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的沉 默之后，男孩小聲地用顫音說(shuō)： “大膽小鬼?！?9、"Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a

46、 sign says, "Schoo-Gl o Slow".老師：湯姆，您 為什么每天上學(xué)遲到 ?湯姆：我每次路過(guò)拐角，一個(gè)路標(biāo)上面寫著： " 學(xué)校慢行。 ""30、"Two factory workers are : I can make the boss give me the day : And how would you do that?Woman: Just wait and then hangs upside down from the ceiling. After a while, the boss comes : Wh

47、at are you doing?Woman: I'm a light : You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day man starts to follow : I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.工廠的兩名工人正在談?wù)?。?人:我可以讓老板放我一天假。 男人 :你會(huì)怎么做？女人 :你就等著看吧。 然后她把自己倒吊在天花板土，過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，老板走來(lái)進(jìn)來(lái)。老板 : 你干什么呢

48、？女人 :我是一個(gè)燈泡。老板 :你工作太多了，都發(fā)瘋了。我認(rèn)為你需要休息一天。 男人開始跟著她往外走。 Boss: Where are yougoing？老板 :你要去哪里？男人 :我也要回家。我無(wú)法在黑暗中工作呀31、"One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please sta

49、nd up?" After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up. "Well, good morning. So, you actually think you're a moron?" the professor asked. The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."一天，一位大學(xué)心 理學(xué)教授向他的新生們問(wèn)候。他站在學(xué)生們的面前說(shuō)：

50、“如果哪位同 學(xué)認(rèn)為自己傻，就請(qǐng)站起來(lái)。 ” 大約過(guò)了一分鐘，一位年輕人站了起 來(lái)。教授說(shuō)：“嗨，你好。你真的認(rèn)為自己是個(gè)低能兒么？” 這個(gè)孩 子回答道：“不是的，先生，我只是不忍心看著只有你自己站在這里。 ”32、"The German poet Heine was Jewish. Once at a patty a traveler said to him: "I found an island where, to my surprise, there were no Jews or donkeys!"Henie said calmly: "Well

51、, this defect can only be remedied when you and I together go to the island!" 德國(guó)大詩(shī)人海涅是猶太人。 有一次晚會(huì)上，一個(gè)旅行家對(duì)他說(shuō) :“我發(fā)現(xiàn)了一座島嶼，令我驚奇 的是，那個(gè)島上竟然沒有猶太人和驢子！ ”海涅不動(dòng)聲色地說(shuō) “: 看來(lái)， 只有你我一起去那個(gè)島上，才會(huì)彌補(bǔ)這個(gè)缺陷！ ”"33、"Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall.Observers waited for mayhem to retai

52、ler on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENT

53、RANCE"三. 個(gè)互相爭(zhēng)生意的商店老板在一條林蔭道上租用了毗鄰 的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。 右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌， 上書： “大減價(jià)！”“特便宜！”左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱： “大砍 價(jià)！”“大折扣！”。中間的商人隨后準(zhǔn)備了一個(gè)大招牌，上面只簡(jiǎn)單地 寫著：“入口處”。"34、"Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. 猴子會(huì)和跳蚤有 什么不同呢？你可

54、能會(huì)直接的想到它們倆是一大一小。 但除此之外呢， 那就是猴子身上可以長(zhǎng)跳蚤， 而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子。 這個(gè)答案很 有意思吧？ "35、"At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No -engrave it To my

55、one and only love . That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again.在" 一家珠寶店里， 一位年輕人買了一個(gè)貴重的小金盒作為送給女友的禮 物?！耙野阉拿挚淘谏厦鎲??”珠寶商問(wèn)道。那名顧客想了一會(huì) 兒，然后說(shuō)道：“不-在上面刻給我唯一的愛' 。這樣，如果我們鬧 崩了，我還可以再用到它。 ”"36、"My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston C

56、ollege. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cade

57、t and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."父親、哥哥和我到西點(diǎn)軍校去觀看一場(chǎng)陸軍 與波士頓大學(xué)之間的橄欖球賽。開始之前，我們到處轉(zhuǎn)了轉(zhuǎn)，碰到許 多穿著整齊制服的學(xué)員。 幾名游客問(wèn)新兵是否愿意擺出軍姿來(lái)讓他們 攝?！昂米屛覀兊膬鹤又?，如果他到西點(diǎn)軍校來(lái)學(xué)習(xí)會(huì)得到什么。 ” 一對(duì)中年夫婦走近一名非常漂亮的女學(xué)員， 問(wèn)她是否愿意擺個(gè)姿勢(shì)照 相。他們解釋說(shuō)：“我們想讓兒子知道他

58、沒來(lái)西點(diǎn)軍校錯(cuò)過(guò)了什么。 ”37、"Two soldiers were in camp. The first one s name was George, and the second one s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to George said, "Now I haven t got a pen."

59、; Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the said, "Plea

60、se put my letter in the box in the office, and." He stopped."What do you want now?" Bill said to looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "Whats your girl-friends address?"軍營(yíng)里 有二名士兵， 一個(gè)叫喬治， 一個(gè)叫比爾。 喬治問(wèn)：“比爾， 你有信紙、 信封嗎？”比爾說(shuō)： “有?！比缓蟀研偶埡托欧饨o了喬治。喬治又說(shuō)： “我還沒有筆呢?！北葼栍职炎约旱墓P給了他

61、。喬治開始寫信。寫完 后把信放進(jìn)信封里， 又問(wèn)：“比爾，你有郵票嗎？” 比爾給了他一張。 這時(shí)比爾站起來(lái)，向門口走去。喬治問(wèn)： “你要出去嗎？”比爾說(shuō)： “是的。”隨即打開了門。喬治說(shuō)：“請(qǐng)幫我把這封信投進(jìn)辦公室的信 箱里，還有 .”他停住了?！澳氵€要什么？”比爾問(wèn)。喬治看著信封 說(shuō)：“你女朋友的地址是？” "38、"During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, an

62、d of course met a lot of men, officers and evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I m going abroad tomorrow, but I d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several his letters stopped, but she received one from another office

63、r, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in went there and said to the matron, "I ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that s all right," answered Joan. "I m

64、his sister.""I m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "Im his mother!" 在第二次世界大戰(zhàn)中， 有許多年輕的婦女在軍營(yíng)中服役。 瓊. 飛利浦斯是其中之一。她在一個(gè)大軍營(yíng)中工作， 當(dāng)然遇到了許多男士，包括軍官和士兵。 一天晚上她在舞會(huì)上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。 他對(duì)她 說(shuō)，“我明天就要出國(guó)，但如果我們能夠相互寫信，我會(huì)很高興。 ”瓊 同意了，于是他們幾個(gè)月里一直通著信。后來(lái)，他再?zèng)]有來(lái)信。她收 到了另一個(gè)軍官的信，告訴她，他受傷了，住在英格蘭的某個(gè)部隊(duì)醫(yī) 院里。瓊到了醫(yī)院，她對(duì)護(hù)士長(zhǎng)說(shuō)， “我來(lái)看望軍官漢弗雷斯。 ”“這 里只有親屬可以探望病人。 ”護(hù)士長(zhǎng)說(shuō)。“噢，是的，”瓊說(shuō)，“我是他 的妹妹?！薄昂芨吲d認(rèn)識(shí)你，”護(hù)士長(zhǎng)說(shuō)，“我是他的母親?！?quot;39、"Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mal