9到10人 英語劇本 -孔雀東南飛現(xiàn)代搞笑版英文

9到10人英語劇本---孔雀東南飛現(xiàn)代搞笑版英文9到10人英語劇本---孔雀東南飛現(xiàn)代搞笑版英文9到10人英語劇本---孔雀東南飛現(xiàn)代搞笑版英文資料僅供參考文件編號：2022年4月9到10人英語劇本---孔雀東南飛現(xiàn)代搞笑版英文版本號：A修改號：1頁次：1.0審核：批準:發(fā)布日期：9到10人英語劇本---孔雀東南飛現(xiàn)代搞笑版英文2011-05-0317:47Performance@College:StoryofJohnnyandLunch(孔雀東南飛現(xiàn)代搞笑版)

Characters:

Prologue

(J作被打狀跑上臺，內(nèi)砸出一個紙筒，J被打中，狼狽不堪)

J:EverybodysaysthatI'mhenpecked,butinfact,I'masstrongasatiger.(Whisper)WhilemywifeisWuSong.(拍門大叫)I'mnotafraidofyou!（內(nèi)砸出一臉盆，J接著當成盾牌護著）Then,I'mafraidofwhom

Mywifelunchisthemostfamouswomaninneighbourhood.She'sbraverthanme,smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllofthisIdonotcare.Ijustwanthertobetenderthanme.Butsheisn't!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!

ActOne

(序幕結(jié)束時，JM作竊聽狀)

JM:(拄著拐棍上)Ican!(對門內(nèi))Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?

L：（揸住鍋鏟，扎著圍裙，從門內(nèi)跳出來）I'mhere!I'mcuttingchicken.What'supmum?

JM:I'vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme"mymostbeautiful,gracefulanddearestmother-in-law".

L:Ok.Mymostbeautiful,gracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what'sup?

JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly,beensorude,sobrusque,solazy...

L:But...

JM:Neverinterruptme!

L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardallday,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchickensand...

JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!

L:(生氣揮動鍋鏟)Oh,youwantagrandson,don'tyou(

開始脫圍裙)Goandaskyourson.I'mleaving!(扔下圍裙，扔到JM臉上，下臺)

ActTwo

(LM坐在臺上打毛線，L拿著鍋鏟上臺)

L:Mum,I'mback.

LM:You'rebackWhyWhathappened

L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautiful,gracefulanddearestmother-in-law.

LM(驚訝，但隨即露出幸災樂禍的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!WhenyouinsistedonmarryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisugly,stupidandpoor.Butyoudidn'tlistentome.Lookatyourselfnow!

L:But,mum...

LM:Neverinterruptme!

L:Mum,I'mnotinterruptingyou.Ijustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysright,OK

AndI'llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.

LM:(大喜)Nicegirl!Justnow,ImettheMayor'sSoninthemarket.Hesaid,"Ifyourdaughterhaven'tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!"Nowthatyou'refreeagain,I'llgoandtellhim(下臺).

L:(驚愣)WhatTheMayor'sSonThemostfamousplayboyinneightbourhood(手中鍋鏟掉地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下臺)

ActThree

(J睡眼惺忪上臺)

J:(邊走邊道)Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks

(走幾步，在地上撿起襪子)Heretheyare!(聞一下)ER...Howsmelly!They'restilldirty!(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself!（肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來）Oh,I'msohungry,butthereisnobreakfast!(撿起地上的圍裙)ThisisLunch'sapron(圍裙)!Imissher...EXCELLENTcookingskillsomuch!Nowthatshehasgone,Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.

JM:(上臺)Where'smybreakfastWhereisLunchHasn'tshegotupyet

J：Mum,can'tyouremember

Lunchhasgone!

JM:(沉吟片刻)Well,totellyouthetruth,Johnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanicegirl.Goandtakeherback.

J:(立正敬禮)YES,MADAM!

ACTFORE

(J開心地走著，忽然跳出三強盜)

A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentome.Theroadisbuiltbyme!(一腳踩在一石頭上)

B:AndIplantedonetree!(踩同一石頭)

C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet...(欲踩石頭，但踩到A的腳)

B：Giveus...

A:All

C:yourmoney!

J:（搜遍每一口袋，掏出一1角硬幣）Is1maoenough?

(ABC暈倒狀，接著三人聚在一邊商量)

A:Whatabadluck!Thisguyisbroken!

B:Ifwecan'trobanymoneytoday,we'llhavenothingtoeattonight.

C:IheardthattheMayor'sSonisgoingtomarryMissLunchnextmonth,wecangoandrobthewedding!

AB:Goodidea!

J:(驚訝)WhatWhatLunchisgoingtogetmarriedImpossible!

A:Why?

B:Aprettygirlandarichman.

C:Whatagoodcouple!

J:ButLunchismywife,wehaven'tgotdivorcedyet.(突然有主意)I'vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,aren'tyou

I'llgowithyou.youtakethemoney,andItakethebride.

B:Haveyougotanyexperience?

J:No,butI'vegotthis!(J脫下鞋子，從里面抹出一張支票，上書：$1,000,000,ABC見狀跟著J下臺，目光跟著錢)

ActFive

(轉(zhuǎn)眼已到婚禮之期，MS意氣風發(fā)用紅綢牽著新娘上臺，L蓋著紅蓋頭極不情愿的被拉上臺)

（JABC躍至臺中）

A:Heyyou!

BCJ:Stopandlistentous!

A:Theroadisbuiltbyme.

B:AndIplantedonetree!

C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet...

J:Giveusallyourmoney!

(L聽到J的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)

L:（驚喜萬分）Johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到J的身后)

（MS大怒，揮拳向J打來，J矮身一躲，MS打中J身后的L,L暈倒）

J:(火冒三丈)Howdareyoubeatmywife!(揮拳打向MS)

(J與MS混戰(zhàn)，JM悄悄上在MS后)

J: