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A LEFT FULL OF RICHESItwasearlyDecember2003,myfirstseasonasaSalvationArmybellringer,whenIconfrontedwiththequestion.IwasstandingjustoutsidethedoorwayofaWal-Mart,offeringa"thankyou"andasmiletoeachpersonwhodroppedadonationintomyredkettle.Aneatlydressedwomanandheryoungsonwalkeduptothekettlestand.Whileshesearchedherpurseforsomecash,theboylookedupatme.Icanstillseetheconfusionandcuriosityinhiseyesasheasked,"Areyoupoor?""Well,"Istammered,tryingtothink,"Ihavemorethansomepeople,butnotasmuchothers."Hismotherscoldedhimforthesocialno-no,andtheyhurriedofftodotheirshopping.Hisquestion,however,didnotleaveme.I'veneverthoughtofmyselfas"poor,"butIcan'tdenycertainfacts.EverytimeIfilloutmy1040form,Ifallintooneofthelowestincomebrackets.Inthepast35years,I'vetakenonevacationtrip.MyTVisablack-and-whitesetthatsomeonegavemeeightyearsago.YetIfeelnothingmorethanapassingwhimtoattainthematerialthingssomanyotherpeoplehave.My1999carshowsthewearandtearof105,000miles.Butitisstilldependable.Myapartmentismodest,butquietandrelaxing.Myclothesarewellsuitedtomywork,whichisprimarilyoutdoors.Myminimalcomputerneedscanbemetatthelibrary.InspiteofwhatIdon'thave,Idon'tfeelpoor.Why?I'veenjoyedexceptionallygoodhealthfor53years.It'snotjustthatI'vebeenillness-free,it'sthatIfeelvigorousandspirited.Exercisingisactuallyfunforme.Ilookforwardtolong,energizingwalks.AndIlovethe"cando"attitudethatfollows.Ialsocherishthegiftofcreativity.WhenIwriteabeautifullineofpoetry,orfabricateajokethatticklessomeone,Ifeelrichinside.I'mcontinuallysurprisedattheinsightsthatthroughmywritingprocess.Andtalkingwithsomanyinterestingwriterfriendsisoneofmymainsourcesofenjoyment.ButthereisonevitalareaofmylifewhereIamnotsowelloff.Inasocietythatsomuchemotionalenergyonthepursuitofpossessions,Ifeeloutofplace.WhenIwasyounger,therewasanexceptionallyinterestingpersonIdated.Whatwasmostimportanttoher,shetoldme,was"what'sontheinside."IthoughtIhadfoundspecialtosharemylifewith.ThenItookhertoseemyapartment.Atthetime,Ilivedinabasementefficiencywithafewpiecesofdatedfurniture.Theonlynew,comfortablechairtheoneatmydesk.Shortlyafterhervisit,ourrelationshipwentstraightsouth.Theseeminglyabruptchangeinherprioritieswasjolting.Itremainsamostmemorableturningpointinmypersonaljourney.Incontrasttorelationships,stuffjustdoesn'tmeanthatmuchtome.Ithinkmostpeoplefeelthesameway—exceptwhentherearesocialconsequencestonothavingparticularitems.Thereisacommercialontheradiothatbegins,"EverybodywantsaTV…"Thepressuretopurchaseisreal.Itmaybetruethateverybodywantsahigh-endTV.Afterall,nobodywantstobeanobody.ButI'mhappytolivewithoutone.Infact,notbeingfocusedonmaterialgoodsquitenaturaltome.Therearemanypeoplethroughouttheworldwhowouldconsidermylifestyletobeaffluent.Neartheendoftheyear,whenIputontheSalvationArmy'sredapron,somethingchangesinsideme.Insteadoffeelingoutofplaceeconomically,Ibegintofeelagenuinesenseofbelonging.AsIringmybell,peoplestoptosharetheirpersonalstoriesofhowmuchmeanttobehelpedwhentheyweregoingthrougharoughtime.PeoplehelpingpeopleissomethingIfeeldeeplyconnectedto.WhileI'mringingthebell,completestrangershavebroughtmehotchocolate,leavingmewithalingeringsmile.Countlessindividualshavehelpedtokeepmewarmwiththesentimentsoftheseason:"Thankyouforringingonsuchcoldday.""CanIgetyouacupofcoffee?""Blessyouforyourgoodwork."DecemberisthetimeofyearIfeelwealthiest.Overthepastfouryears,I'vegrowntounderstandmoreaboutmyselfbecauseofasinglequestionfromacuriouschild.AsI'veexaminedwhatitmeanstobepoor,ithascleartomewhatIammostthankfulfor:bothmytangibleandmyintangiblegoodfortune.富足的一生卡爾?格林200312月初,我第一次為救世軍搖鈴募捐的時候。當“謝謝”“嗯,”我結(jié)結(jié)巴巴,邊想邊回答,“我比有些人擁有的多,但比其他人擁有的少。”我從不認為自己“窮”1040是八年前別人送給我的。然而,想要得到其他那么多人都有的物質(zhì)的東西,對我來說,只不過是轉(zhuǎn)瞬即逝的念1999年的產(chǎn)品,到現(xiàn)在開了十萬五千英里,已經(jīng)很破很舊了,但是它依然我對計算機的很少的需求,可以在圖書館得到解決。盡管有些東西我沒有,我并不感到貧窮。這是為什么?五十三年來我一直非常健康。越走越有勁。我喜愛步行后隨之產(chǎn)生的一種“什么都干得了”的心態(tài)。我還十分珍惜我的創(chuàng)作才能。當我寫出美麗的詩句或編造出能把人逗樂的笑話時,我樂趣的主要源泉之一。此之多心力的社會中,我覺得很不自在。我年輕時曾與一位非常有趣的女士談過朋友。她對我說,對她而言,最重要的是“人的內(nèi)心”。我以為我找到了非同一般的生活伴侶。后來我就帶她到我的寓所。當時我住的是一個最難以忘懷的轉(zhuǎn)折點。每個人都想擁有一臺高檔電視…”的都想要一臺高檔電視機,畢竟沒有人想做一個無名之輩。11.相當自然。在這個世界上有很多人認為我活得很富足。臨近歲末每當我系上救世軍的紅圍裙時,我的內(nèi)心會發(fā)生變化。我非但不感到經(jīng)“”“要不要我給您弄一杯咖啡?”“你做好事,上帝保佑你?!笔率且荒曛形腋械阶罡蛔愕臅r候。由于一個好奇的孩子提了一個簡單問題,我在過去的四年中對自己的了解進了一AMANCANApr4,20048:00PMEDT WhenIwasakid,everythinginmybedroomwaspink.Ihavetwosistersandwehadcompleteminiaturekitchen,aherdofMyLittlePoniesandseveralBarbieandKendolls.Wedidn'thaveanytoytrucks,G.I.Joesorbasketballs.WedidhaveaWiffle-ballset,butyouwouldhavebeenhard-pressedtofinditinourplayroom.Tomboysweweren't. SosomepeoplemayfinditironicthatIgrewuptobeamechanicalengineer.Infact,amtheonlyfemaleengineeratmycompany.Inordertogetmycollegedegree,Ihadtotakealotofmathandscienceclasses.Ialsohadtoworkwithateamofstudentsaspartofanationalcompetitiontoconvertagas-guzzlingSUVintoahybridelectricvehicle--that'swhereIlearnedhowtofixcars.I'mproudtosaythatIgotA'sinallmyclasses,includingmultivariablecalculusanddifferentialequations.I'vealwaysbeenprettygoodatmathanddesign,butIdidn'tunderstandwherethatcouldtakeme.Iwastogotocollege,butnooneevertoldmeI'dmakeagoodengineersomeday. WhenIwasinhighschool,Ididn'tknowthefirstthingaboutengineering.Icouldn'thavedistinguishedatransmissionfromanalternator.ThecarIdroveneededsomebutIwasafraidtotakeittothemechanic.Becausehonestly,themechaniccouldhaveshownmeanelectriccanopenerandsaid,"Thisispartofyourcarandit'sbroken--paymetofixit,"andIwouldn'thaveknownanybetter. Attheendofmyjunioryearofhighschool,Iheardaboutasummerprogramdesignedtointerestgirlsinengineering.Thesix-weekprogramwasfree,andstudentsweregivencollegecreditandadormroomattheUniversityofMaryland.Iappliedtotheprogram,notbecauseIwantedtobeanengineer,butbecauseIwascravingindependenceandtogetoutofmyparents'houseforsixweeks. IwasacceptedtotheprogramandIearnedsixengineeringcredits.ThenextyearIenteredtheuniversityasanengineeringmajor.FiveyearslaterIhadadegreeanddecentjoboffers. Ican'thelpshudderingwhenIhearaboutstudiesthatshowthatwomenareatadisadvantagewhenitcomestomath.TheyimplythatIamsomehowabnormal.I'mbutIdoknowthatifIhadn'tstumbledintothatsummerprogram,Iwouldn'tbeanengineer. WhenIwasgrowingupIwastold,asmanystudentsare,todowhatIambestat.ButIdidn'tknowwhatthatwas.Mostpeoplethinkthatwhenyouaregoodatsomething,itcomeseasilytoyou.ButthisiswhatIdiscovered:justbecauseasubjectisdifficulttoitdoesnotmeanyouarenotgoodatit.Youjusthavetogrityourteethandworkhardertogetgoodatit.Onceyoudo,there'sastrongchanceyouwillenjoyitmorethananythingelse. IneighthgradeItookalgebra.OnonetestIgotonly36percentoftheanswerscorrect.Ifailedthenextone,too.Istartedtothink,MaybeI'mjustnogoodatthis.Iwasluckyenoughtohaveateacherwhodidn'ttakemybadgradesasajudgmentofmyabilities,butsimplyasanindicationthatIshouldstudymore.Hepulledmeasideandtoldmeheknewcoulddobetter.Heletmeretakethetests,andIpulledmygradeuptoanA. Istudiedalotincollege,too.IhadmomentsofpanicwhilesittingunderneaththebuzzingfluorescentlightsintheengineeringlibraryonSaturdayafternoons,whenIworriedthattheestrogeninmybodywaspreventingmefromunderstandingthermodynamics.Buttheguysinmyclasseshadtoworkjustashard,andIknewthatIcouldn'taffordtoloseconfidenceinmyself.Ididn'twanttochoosebetweenmyfemininityandagoodcareer.SoIremindedmyselfthatthosestudies,theonesthatsaythatmathcomesmorenaturallytomen,arebasedonafaultypremise:thatyoucanjudgeaperson'sabilitiesseparatefromtheculturalcuesthatshehasreceivedsinceshewasaninfant.Nomanisanisland.Nowomanis,either. Whyarewesoquicktolimitourselves?I'mnotdenyingthatmostlittlegirlslovedollsandmostlittleboyslovevideogames,anditmaybetruethatsomepeoplefavorthesideoftheirbrain,andotherstheleft.Buthowrelevantisthattome,ortoanyone,asanindividual?Insteadoftranslatingourdifferencesintohardandfastconclusionsa
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