初二年級英語E時(shí)代網(wǎng)狗Tommy的自述

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Hello，大家好！我是Tommy。不錯，是真的，我是一條咖啡色的沙皮狗，別說你不信哦，我的仆人叫Lanny，咦？會嫌這樣的陳述太陳詞濫調(diào)嗎？呵呵……這是我Tommy慵懶的本性嘛！

Hello,everyone!I"mTommy.Yes,it"strue.I"mabrownsanddog.Don"tsayyoudon"tbelieveit.Myowner"snameisLanny.Eh?Wouldsuchastatementbetoocliche?Haha...ThisismyTommy"slazynature!

仆人說現(xiàn)在是E時(shí)代了，“E”？是eat嗎？唔，猶如不是啊，仆人常坐在電腦前，兩眼直勾勾地望著那個發(fā)亮的屏，呆坐了一天，還不停地用手指擊打著一種像巧克力一樣的叫做“鍵盤”的玩意兒?？赡苣蔷褪恰癊”時(shí)代吧！“E”時(shí)代猶如是蠻有意思的東西，不然的話，仆人為何會呆坐一天而會忘卻“eat”呢？呵呵，我Tommy經(jīng)過每天的細(xì)致、深入地查看，察覺仆人每天都在上網(wǎng)，人們也真是的，隔著電腦屏，不管對方是男是女，是老是少，都把自己心窩里的話掏給一個目生人聽。經(jīng)過我這幾天的查看，人們的CHAT內(nèi)容不過僅是四步曲罷了：“你是男是女？”“你在哪里？”“你幾歲了？”“你叫啥？”哇噻！真是老套！連我Tommy都能說的！和仆人聊的都是一些自稱“美麗美眉”、“芳齡十八”的！去，騙誰來著？網(wǎng)上哪會變出那么多的“美麗妹妹“??？！人的本性真是倍兒虛！

Thehostsaidit"stheE-era,"e"?Isiteat?Well,itseemsthatit"snot.Thehostoftensitsinfrontofthecomputerandlooksatthebrightscreenwithhiseyesstraight.Aftersittingforaday,hekeepshittingachocolatelikethingcalled"keyboard"withhisfingers.Maybethat"sthe"e"era!"E"eraseemstobeaveryinterestingthing,otherwise,whywouldthehostsitforadayandforget"eat"?Haha,aftercarefulandin-depthobservationeveryday,myTommyfoundthatthehostissurfingtheInterneteveryday,andpeoplearereally,acrossthecomputerscreen,nomatterwhethertheotherpartyismaleorfemale,itisalwaysrare,theyalltakeouttheirownwordstoastranger.Aftermyobservationthesedays,people"schatcontentisjustafourstepsong:"areyoumaleorfemale?""Whereareyou?""Howoldareyou?""What"syourname?"WOW!Whatacliche!EvenTommycansayit!Andtheh()ostistalkingaboutsomeselfproclaimed"beautifulgirl","Fangling18"!Go,whoareyoukidding?Howcantherebesomany"beautifulsisters"ontheInternet?!Man"snatureisdoubleempty!

嘿嘿！今天仆人出門了，下午由我Tommy當(dāng)家！我爬到電腦前面，Lucky！仆人還沒下網(wǎng)，名字還掛在Chatroom上。呵呵，讓我網(wǎng)狗Tommy來試試網(wǎng)上沖浪的感覺吧！人們常說“虎父無犬子”，跟了仆人那么多年了，可以說“虎仆人無犬狗”！咦？“犬”？“狗”？猶如一個意思嘛！

Hey!Today,thehostwentout.I"mTommyinchargethisafternoon!Iclimbuptothecomputer,lucky!Theownerisnotoffthenetyet,andhisnameisstillonchatroom.Haha,letmynetdogTommytrytosurftheInternet!Peopleoftensaythat"thetigerfatherhasnodogandson".Aftersomanyyearswiththeowner,wecansaythat"thetigerownerhasnodoganddog"!Why?"Dog"?"Dog"?Itseemstomeanthesamething!

chatroom里面怎么會有那么多的人？人們不用干活嗎？名字不是“美觀”、“小美”就是“美眉”的？哼！耍我來的，誰相信??！哈哈，有人和我說話啦！他（她）叫做PLMM，咦？怎么沒有見過這個英文？莫非是拼音之縮寫“破爛妹妹”？不管！聊了再說！

Howcantherebesomanypeopleinchatroom?Don"tpeoplehavetowork?Isthename"Meili","Xiaomei"or"Meimei"?Hum!I"mhere.Whobelievesit!Haha,someoneistalkingtome!His(her)nameisplmm,eh?HowcomeIhaven"tseenthisEnglish?Isittheabbreviationofpinyin"brokensister"?Nomatter!Talkaboutit!

PLMM：“閣下是男是女??？”廢話，我是條狗狗！我循例發(fā)話過去，但是無奈我的爪子沒有人的手那樣生動，只有精工細(xì)做了！

Plmm:"areyoumaleorfemale?"Nonsense,I"madog!Isaidasusual,butmyclawswerenotasflexibleasthehandsofothers,onlythemeticulouswork!

PLMM：“誰相信??！那你叫什么名字??？幾歲？”我又照實(shí)情說了，要知道做條好狗，忠誠便是金字招牌！

Plmm:"whobelievesit!What"syournamethen?Howold?"Itoldyouthetruthagain.Tobeagooddog,honestyisthegoldensign!

“我的確實(shí)確是條網(wǎng)狗！我叫Tommy，今年嘛，正值中年，有9歲了！”對方傳來的只是大笑的符號。

"Mydogisanetindeed!MynameisTommy.Thisyear,I"minmiddleage.I"mnineyearsold!"It"sjustasignoflaughter.

“你們?nèi)祟惒皇浅Ｕf‘在網(wǎng)上誰也不知道你是條狗’的嗎？確實(shí)我就是那條狗！”

"Don"tyouhumansoftensay"nobodyknowsyou"readogonline"?IndeedIamthedog!"

PLMM：“呵！男孩你真心愛！”

Plmm:"Oh!Howlovelyyouare,boy!"

我的天！他（她）怎么就是不相信我的話?？磥怼叭诵允翘搨蔚摹闭f得公然不錯！哎呀，仆人要來了，我得下了。Bye——bye！

Ohmygod!He(she)justdoesn"tbel