2023高考英語(yǔ)復(fù)習(xí)與訓(xùn)練-訓(xùn)練11讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)示例與寫(xiě)作訓(xùn)練06

讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)示例與寫(xiě)作訓(xùn)練6

【寫(xiě)作示例】

【原文呈現(xiàn)】

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫(xiě)，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

Wearingthethinsneakerswithafewholes,Bobbywasgettingcold.Hehadbeensittingout

inhisbackyardinthesnowforalmostanhour,thinking.Tryashemight,hecouldnotcomeup

withanideaforhismother'sChristmasgift.Heshookhisheadashethought,"EvenifIdocome

upwithanidea,Idon'thaveanymoney.^^

Hisfatherpassedawaythreeyearsago,andthesmallsalarythathismotherwasearning

couldhardlymakeendsmeet.Althoughthefamilylackedmoneyandmaterialthings,theylived

withlove.Bobbyhadthreesisters,whoranthehouseholdintheirmother'sabsence.Allofthem

hadmadebeautifulgiftsfortheirmother.Frustratingly,hehadnothing,anditwasChristmasEve

already.Wipingatearfromhiseye,Bobbystartedtowalkdowntothestreet.

Hewalkedfromshoptoshop,lookingintoeachdecoratedwindow.Everythingseemedso

beautifulandsooutofreach.ItwasstartingtogetdarkandBobbyunwillinglyturnedtowalk

homewhensuddenlyhecaughtsightofsomethingshiningontheground.Hereacheddownand

discoveredashinydime.

NeverbeforehadanyonefeltsowealthyasBobbyfeltatthatmoment.However,his

excitementquicklyturnedcoldwhenhewastoldthathecouldnotbuyanythingwithonlyten

cents.

Suddenlytheflowersinashopcaughthiseye,andhewentinside.Bobbypresentedthedime

andaskedifhecouldbuyaflowerforhismother'sChristmasgift.Theshopownerlookedat

Bobbyandhistencentsoffering.ThenheputhishandonBobby'sshoulderandsaidtohim,“You

justwaithereandrilseewhatIcandoforyou.^^

AsBobbywaitedintheshop,helookedatthebeautifulflowersandeventhoughhewasa

boy,hecouldseewhymothersandgirlslikedflowers.

Thelastcustomer'sleavingbroughtBobbybacktoreality.Bobbybegantofeellonelyand

anxious.(341words)

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫(xiě)短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.應(yīng)使用5個(gè)以上短文標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)；

3.續(xù)寫(xiě)部分分為兩段，每段的開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)以為你寫(xiě)好；

4.續(xù)寫(xiě)完成后，請(qǐng)用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞。

Paragraph1:

Afterwhatseemedanage,theshopownercameout.

Paragraph2:

“Couldthisbetrue?”thoughtBobby.

【思維路徑】

［核心內(nèi)容］

文本主要內(nèi)容為：一個(gè)身無(wú)分文的貧窮的小男孩想給媽媽準(zhǔn)備一份圣誕禮物。他意外地

在街上拾到一枚十美分硬幣，可是很快就被告知十美分買不了任何東西。之后他走進(jìn)了一家

花店，詢問(wèn)能不能用硬幣買一枝花，老板讓他等一會(huì)，去看看能為他做點(diǎn)什么。店里最后一

位客人的離開(kāi)將他拉回了現(xiàn)實(shí)，他開(kāi)始感到孤單和惶恐。

［寫(xiě)作思路I

(1)明確故事人物關(guān)系(characters)。故事中主要人物為小男孩Bobby和花店老板。

(2)理清故事主要事件(events)。想為媽媽準(zhǔn)備一份圣誕禮物的小男孩帶著十美分的硬幣

走近了一家花店，詢問(wèn)是否可以買一支花，花店老板讓他在店里等一會(huì)兒。

(3)根據(jù)已知人物、事件及續(xù)寫(xiě)段落首句預(yù)測(cè)故事發(fā)展(development)。故事總體的發(fā)展

應(yīng)該是過(guò)了許久花店老板才從里面走出來(lái)，然后他所做的事情使小男孩感到難以置信。結(jié)合

上文中花店老板對(duì)小男孩熱情關(guān)懷的態(tài)度，和小男孩的請(qǐng)求，可以預(yù)測(cè)或許花店老板為小男

孩準(zhǔn)備了一束價(jià)值遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)超過(guò)十美分的一束美麗的鮮花，因此小男孩有種不真實(shí)感。續(xù)寫(xiě)第一

段：花店老板出來(lái)時(shí)，手里拿著一束包裝好的美麗的鮮花，并且告訴Bobby這束花的價(jià)格

正好是10美分。續(xù)寫(xiě)第二段：Bobby被嚇到了，懷疑這不是事實(shí)。花店老板用善意的謊言

騙小男孩說(shuō)這些花正好在促銷，他手上的錢正好夠付；或者向他解釋這是圣誕老人準(zhǔn)備好放

在他店里并且告訴他會(huì)有一個(gè)拿著十美分硬幣的小男孩來(lái)買。最后Bobby開(kāi)心地付了錢，

接過(guò)花，回家去了。

(4)結(jié)合下劃線詞羅列寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)(points)。結(jié)合下劃線詞和文本內(nèi)容一一花店老板走了出

來(lái)以及Bobby的不真實(shí)感，展開(kāi)盡可能豐富的想象，羅列出盡可能多的故事發(fā)展情節(jié)。例

如，第一段可以通過(guò)問(wèn)以下問(wèn)題來(lái)獲取寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)“WhatdidtheshopownerdoforBobby?Did

hegetthelittleboysomeHowers?WhatdidtheHowerslooklike?What'stheprice?等“；第二段

可以問(wèn)以下問(wèn)題來(lái)獲取寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)："WhydidBobbyfeelitwasuntrue?Howdidtheshopowner

explaintohim?DidBobbybelieve?DidhegettheChristmasgiftforhismather?Howwouldhe

feel?等”。

［參考范文］

Afterwhatseemedanage,theshopownercameout.There,inhishands,lyingtwelvelong

stem,redroses,withleavesofgreenandtinywhiteflowersalltiedtogether.Bobby'sheartsankas

theownerplacedthemgentlyintoalongwhitebox."Thatwillbetencents,youngman."theshop

ownersaid,reachingouthishandforthedime.

“Couldthisbetrue?"thoughtBobby.Nooneelsewouldgivehimanythingforhisdime!

Sensingtheboy'shesitatation,theshopowneradded,“Ijusthappenedtohavesomerosesonsale

fortencentsadozen.Wouldyouliketobuythem?^^ThistimeBobbydidnothesitate.Hemoved

hishandtogivethemanhisdime,andwhenthemanplacedthelongboxintohishands,Bobby

knewitwastrue.Havingtheseflowersforhismother'sChristmasgift,Bobbywasmorethan

happy.Walkingoutoftheshop,heheardtheshopkeepersay,“MerryChristmas!?,(154words)

［范文解析］

范文圍繞文章的內(nèi)容進(jìn)行了合情合理的拓展。花店老板拍拍小男孩的肩膀讓他等一會(huì)可

以看出他對(duì)小男孩的態(tài)度熱情友好，并且續(xù)寫(xiě)第二段給出的開(kāi)頭是Bobby難以置信的感覺(jué)，

因此第一段寫(xiě)了花店老板出來(lái)后手里拿著一束用綠葉和小白花裝飾的玫瑰出來(lái)以十美分的

價(jià)格賣給小男孩。第二段，小男孩感到難以置信，又結(jié)合文章前文描述的小男孩熱切希望能

夠送媽媽一份禮物，寫(xiě)了最終小男孩買到了一份圣誕節(jié)禮物，而這份禮物就是花店老板提供

的這束玫瑰花，中間缺少一個(gè)小男孩相信這一事實(shí)而接受了十美分買這束花的理由，因此，

寫(xiě)花店老板告訴小男孩玫瑰花正好在促銷也是符合情理的。

［提煉歸納］

1.有效運(yùn)用人物心理描寫(xiě)和語(yǔ)言描寫(xiě)推動(dòng)故事發(fā)展

在有特定情境和人物對(duì)話的故事續(xù)寫(xiě)過(guò)程中，要通過(guò)對(duì)故事主要人物的動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)和語(yǔ)言

描寫(xiě)來(lái)推動(dòng)故事的發(fā)展。例如范文中我們用了"Bobby'sheartsank","ThistimeBobbydidnot

hesitate"兩處描寫(xiě)表現(xiàn)了知道事實(shí)前后Bobby的心理變化；而結(jié)尾中花店老板的語(yǔ)言描寫(xiě)

不僅切合了他善良友好的性格特點(diǎn)，又推動(dòng)了故事的發(fā)展。

2.巧用非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞，使語(yǔ)言更自然地道

在具體的寫(xiě)作過(guò)程中，除了讓故事發(fā)展合情合理，我們還可以考慮使用一些表達(dá)技巧使

文本更加連貫，語(yǔ)言更加地道。例如，在范文中，我們用了多處非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞結(jié)構(gòu)，如“There,

inhishands,lyingtwelvelongstem,redroses…“，"，reachingouthishand",Sensingtheboy's

hesitation等。

【寫(xiě)作演練】

L閱讀下面材料?，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫(xiě)

的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Thedoctorssentmymotherhometodie.Asafifteen-yearsurvivorofbreastcancer,shehad

sufferedtwoheartattackswhenadvancedcancerwasfoundinherlung.Thedoctortoldmesadly,

“Shehasafewdays,maybeaweek.Herheartisweakandunstable."Momhadstruggledtoraise

threedaughterswhileholdingafull-timejob,yetworkedhardtomaintainawarmhomeforher

family.MyplanfbrMom'sfinaldayswassimple:shewouldlivewithlove,anddiewithgrace.

Itookmothertomyhome,smallbutcomfortable,whichwasaheaventofourcatsandadog.

Theanimalshadtherunofmyhouse.Weequippedthebedroomwithanelectrichospitalbedand

anoxygenmachine,whichfrightenedthecats.I'dmovedtheirfurnitureandthecatswere

annoyed.Thedog,ontheotherhand,animmaturedogwithbadhabits,wasexcitedbyallthe

changesinthehouse.Hejumpedup,barking.HeisOttowhowasnotafraidofthehospitalbed,

theoxygenmachineorthemedicalsmells.Norwasheafraidoftheweakwomanwhohadscolded

him.OttojumpedontothefootofMom'shospitalbed,andstayed.Withtheexceptionofeating

andusingthelitterbox,OttoneverleftMom'sroom.

DayspassedandMomstartedtorally."Notunusual,Iwastold,€tarallyisoftenasignof

imminentdeath（回光返照）"Iwasheart-broken.ButOttowouldnotgiveherupsoeasily.Heused

herimprovedconditiontorepositionhimselffromthefootofherbedtoherside.Herthinfingers

foundhissoftcoat.Heleanedintoherbody,asifholdingtightthestringsofherwilltolive.

Thoughweak,shepettedthedogandwouldnotallowedmetotakehim.Daysturnedintoweeks

andMomcontinuedtofight.

Paragraph1

Once,afterthenurseshadgonefbrtheday,IheardthesoundofMom'svoicecomingfrom

herroom.

Paragraph2

Threeyearslater,MomtogetherwithOttoisstillhere,medicinesandnurseslonggone.

2.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫(xiě)

的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Therewassomethingintheelderlywoman'sgracethatcaughtmyeye.Althoughslowand

unsureofhersteps,thewomanmovedwithdeliberation（從容），andtherewasnohesitationinher

gestures.

Itwasafewyearsago,andIhadtakenapart-timeholiday-seasonjobinavideostoreatthe

localshoppingmall.Frominsidethestore,Icouldseethepeopleoutsiderushingby.

Theelderlywomanenteredthestore,alongwithherdaughter,whowasdisplayingaserious

caseofimpatience,rollinghereyes,sighingandcheckingherwatcheveryfewseconds.Iguessed

ifshehadpossessedarope,shewouldhavefastenedittohermothertodragheralongtokeep

stepwiththerushofothershoppers.

TheelderlywomanseparatedfromherdaughterandbegantoseekthroughtheDVDsonthe

nearestshelf.Aftertheslightesthesitation,IwalkedoverandaskedifIcouldhelpherfind

something.Thewomansmiledupatmeandshowedmeatitlewrittenonanoldpieceofpaper.

RatherthanrushofftolocatetheDVDforthewoman,IaskedhertowalkwithmesoIcould

showherwhereshecouldfindit.Lookingback,IthoughtIwantedtoenjoyhercompanyfora

moment.Somethingaboutherdeliberatemovementsremindedmeofmyownmother,who'd

passedawaythepreviousChristmas.Imissedmymomandstillfeltregretfulaboutthemoments

whenEdusedmyimpatiencetomakeherlifeunhappy.

Aswewalkedalongthebackofthestore,Iintroduceditsfloorplan:oldtelevisionshows,

actionmovies,cartoons,sciencefiction.Thewomanseemedgladoftheunrushedcompanyand

casualconversation.

WefoundtheDVDandshethankedme,sayingthatitwastheoneshe'denjoyedwhenshe

washerdaughter'sage.Unwillingly,Iaccompaniedhertothecashregister,realizingIhadto

returntheelderlywomantoherdaughter,whowasstilltappingherfootatthefrontofthestore.

3.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫(xiě)

的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Ilikeallkindsofchocolate.Motherhadboughtabarofit,andsomehowIcouldn'tstop

thinkingaboutit.IwashelpingFatherintheyardwhenIgottheideathatIcouldcutofftheendof

thatbarofchocolate.Motherwouldbesuretomissit,butbeforeshehadanyideawhohaddone

it,IcouldadmitthatI'dtakenittoescapeaspanking（挨揍）。IwaiteduntilMotherwasoutfeeding

thechickens.ThenItoldFatherIthoughtI'dgoinforadrinkofwater.Igotthebardown,butI

heardMothercomingjustwhenIhadtheknifereadytocut.SoIslippedthechocolateintothe

frontofmyshirtandleftquickly.BeforeIwentbacktohelpFather,!wenttothebarn（谷倉(cāng)）and

hidthechocolatethere.

Alltherestofafternoon,!didn'tliketolookatFather.Everytimehespokeitmademe

jump.Myhandsbeganshakingsomuchthatheaskedmewhatwasthematter.Itoldhimitwasjust

thatmyhandswerecold.Iknewhedidn'tbelieveme,andeverytimehelookedmywaymyheart

startedpounding.Ididn*twantthechocolateanymore.Iwantedachancetoputitbackwithout

beingcaught.

IwasnearlyouttowherethecowswerewhenIrememberedwhatFatherhadsaidonce-some

ofthefamilymoneywasminebecauseIhadhelpedtoearnit.Whywouldn'titbeallrightto

figurethebarofchocolatehadbeenboughtwithmyownmoney?Thatseemedtofix

everything.ButbythetimeIhadthecowsheadedhome,Ihadbeguntoworryagain.Idecidedto

leavethewholemattertotheLord.IpickedupadriedstickanddecidedIwouldthrowitupinto

theairandtakemyordersfromthewayitlanded.Ifitpointedwest.Fdtakethewholebarback.Ifit

pointedsouth.l*dtakehalfaninchofftheend.Ifitpointedeast,I'dboughtthebarwithmyown

moneyanditwouldn'tbestealingtokeepit.IswungthestickashighasIcould.Whenitcame

down,itpointedmostlywest-butalittlesouth.ThatnightIcouldn'tsleep.Ikepttryingto

rememberhowmuchthatstickhadreallybeenpointingtothesouth.

ParagraphI:

AtlastIgotup,slippedoutintotheyardandtooktheax（斧頭）fromthechoppingblock.

Paragraph2.

ThenhestoodmeonmyfeetandaskedifIthoughtIhaddeservedthespanking._

4.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)

寫(xiě)的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Isatatthebreakfasttablewithmyfour-year-oldson,Matthew,tryingtoignoretheachein

mystomach."Mama,wanttoplay?""Nottoday,baby,"Ishookmyhead.ThesedaysIcould

barelygetoutofbed.Iwasstillrecoveringfromasurgery.Ihopedforstrengthandhappiness.But

thefutureseemedsohopeless.

Suddenly,Matthewjumpedupfromhisspotonthekitchenfloor."Bird!”heshouted,rushing

toourcourtyard.Sureenough,therewasawhitedoveseatedinarubbertree.Itsatthereforafew

moments,andthenflewaway.Strange,I'dneverseenoneinourneighborhoodbefore.

WhenIdraggedmyselftothekitchenthenextmorning,thedovewasback.Thistimewitha

matecarryingtwigs."Look,Matthew/*Isaid,pointingtothetree.t4They'regoingtomakeanest.”

Thedovesflewinandoutofthecourtyardallweek,buildingontopoftherubbertree.

Matthewcouldhardlycontainhisexcitement.Everymorning,he'drunintothekitchenand

takehisspotbytheslidingglassdoor,talkingtothebirdswhiletheyworked.Hisenthusiasmwas

influential.AsmuchasIwasgrieving,Icouldn'thelpbutlookforwardtothedoves*visitstoo.

Thenitallwentwrong.Thecourtyardwasasafeenoughspotforanest,buttherubbertree's

broad,thinleaveswerefarfromstable.Onenight,astrongwindblew,throwingthedoves*nestto

theground.Iheardthetwigsbreakapart.

Isurveyedthedamage.Nothinggoodeverlasts.Iwouldn'tblamethedovesiftheynever

cameback.Buttheyreturned.Andtheypaidnoattentiontothepileofsticksthathadoncebeen

theirnest.Theystartedagainfromscratch.Again,though,thewinddestroyedalltheirhardwork.

Thenextday,andthenext,theyrenewedtheirefforts,asifnothinghadhappened.

Paragraph1:

IknewIhadtodosomething.

Paragraph2:

“Itworks!Thebirdsareback!”Matthewannounced.

5.閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫(xiě)，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

ItwasaSundaymorning.Bettywokeupearlierthanusual.Shecouldn'tsleepanylonger

becauseshewassoexcitedthatheruncleMarkwastakinghertothebeach.Shehadalwaysloved

goingsurfingwithheruncle.Sheputherswimmingsuitonandtookquicklythatshehadprepared

thenightgotbeforeandwentoutsidetowait.Shejumpedupanddownwithjoywhenshesawher

uncle'sredjeepturnthecornerdownherstreet.

UncleMarkgotoutofthecarandhelpedBettygetin."Areyouready?,,heasked.t4Yes!^^

repliedBetty.UncleMarkcouldseetheexcitementinherface.Suddenlyhesaidseriously,"Well,

beforewego,Ihavetoletyouknowthatasharkappearedrecentlywherewe'regoingtosurf

today.,,Scaredandshocked,Bettycouldn'tsayaword.44Haha!I'mkiddingyou,"UncleMark

burstoutlaughing.Bettylaughedtoo.SheknewUncleMarklikedteasingothers.t4Lefsgoand

havesomebreakfast,Iknowjusttheplace/,UncleMarksaid.Theywenttoa

breakfastshopandatesometacos（炸玉米餅）.

AfterbreakfastthetwoofthemwentdowntoPacificBeachandgottheirsurfboardsready.

“Firstyouhavetowax（打蠟）thebottom,explainedUncleMark."Iknow.Tvewatchedyoudoit

before!1'BettysaidasshetookthewaxfromUncleMark'shand.Ittookabout15minutestowax

thebottomoftheirboards.WhenBettyfinished,UncleMarklookeditovertomakesureitwas

donewell."Nicejob,Betty,youwaxyourboardlikeatruesurffer.”

Finally,theywerereadytogetintothewater.Theycarriedtheirboardsdowntothebeach

andwentoutintothewater.Bettywasoverlyexcitedandtriedtorushtocatchawave.Predictably,

shecrashedandhadtostartover.Nextwasheruncle'sturn.Hestooduponhisfirsttryand

smoothlysurfedthewavebeforejumpingintothewater.Bettycheeredforheruncle'sperfectrun.

注意：1.所續(xù)寫(xiě)短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.應(yīng)使用5個(gè)以上短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)；

3.續(xù)寫(xiě)部分分為兩段，每段的開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)已為你寫(xiě)好；

4.續(xù)寫(xiě)完成后，請(qǐng)用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)。

Paragraph1:

Allofasudden,Bettyfeltsomethingtouchingthebottomofherfoot.

Paragraph2:

“Help!Help!^^Bettyscreamedinhorror.

答案與解析

I.【參考范文】

ParagraphI:

Once,afterthenurseshadgonefortheday,IheardthesoundofMom'svoicecomingfiom

herroom.Ifoundherwiththeheadofthebedraised,readingfromthenewspaper,withOttoin

herarms,listeningadoringly.IwillforevercherishthememoryofOtto'stouchingherface.

Eventually,usingawalker,Mombegantotakewalksthroughthehouse,followedbyOtto.Where

sherested,Ottorested.Whereshemoved,Ottoshadowed.Somehow,Ottoknewthatduringthose

dayshebecameherdogchild,givingherlifepurpose.

Paragraph2:

Threeyearslater.MomtogetherwithOttoisstillhere,medicinesandnurseslonggone.

Whenwesawthedoctorawhileago,UIcan'tbelieveit,Lula,"hesaid.U1can'tfindyourcancer

andyourheartisstrong.Whenyourdaughterbroughtyoutome,Ithoughtyouwereashipthat

hadsailed."MomgivesthecredittoOtto,whocontinuestosharehisgiftoflove—amedicine

morepowerfulthananydrugadoctorcouldprescribe.

【解析】

1.第一段給出的首句是Jalinlookedupandhesawtheotherboysrushingahead.這一句是故事

發(fā)展的轉(zhuǎn)折點(diǎn)。可以從“我發(fā)現(xiàn)她抬起床頭，讀著報(bào)紙，懷里抱著奧托，崇拜地聽(tīng)著?！比胧?/p>

擴(kuò)展開(kāi)去，——無(wú)論從何角度拓展，需注意與續(xù)寫(xiě)第二段首句呼應(yīng)，最后一句應(yīng)該用“不知

道為什么，奧托知道在那些日子里，他成了她的狗孩子，給了她生活的目標(biāo)?！迸c第二段首

句相呼應(yīng)。

2.第二段所給首句Filledwithpleasure,Jatinwalkedhomeinnotime.這一句呼應(yīng)前文，緊接著

可以從“不久前我們?nèi)タ瘁t(yī)生時(shí)，他說(shuō):‘我真不敢相信，盧拉。入手續(xù)寫(xiě)。

【范文點(diǎn)評(píng)】

這是一篇續(xù)寫(xiě)。符合續(xù)寫(xiě)要求，段落之間銜接緊密，句子環(huán)環(huán)相扣，層次清晰。同時(shí)文中使

用高級(jí)句子。Ifoundherwiththeheadofthebedraised,readingfromthenewspaper,withOttoin

herarms,listeningadoringly.句中現(xiàn)在分詞作伴隨狀語(yǔ);Eventually,usingawalker,Mombegan

totakewalksthroughthehouse,followedbyOtto.過(guò)去分詞作方式狀語(yǔ)；Whereshemoved,Otto

shadowed.句中where弓|導(dǎo)地點(diǎn)狀語(yǔ)從句；Whenyourdaughterbroughtyoutome,Ithoughtyou

wereashipthathadsailed.句中when引導(dǎo)時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句。

2.【參考范文】

Para.1

AstheelderlywomanwaswaitinginthequeueatthecashregisterIwalkedovertoher

daughter."Mindsomeadvice?”Iasked.Sherolledhereyesandsaid."Ofcoursenot.^^Butclearly

therewasannoyanceinherreply.IsmiledtoshowherIwasn'tcriticizing."Cherishherand

cherisheverysinglemomentyoucanstaywithher,“Isaid,tohersurprise,AndthenIanswered

hercuriousexpressionbysaying,tuWhenshe'sgone,ifstheselittlemomentsthatwillcomeback

toyou.Momentslikethis.^^Havingfinishedsayingthis,Inoticedtheelderlywomanmovingwith

herdeliberation（優(yōu)雅）backtoherdaughter.

Para.2

Togethertheymadetheirwaytowardthestoresexit.Theystoodthereforamoment,sideby

side,watchingtherushoftheholidaycurrentandthenlookingateachother.Slowly,thedaughter

placedherarmwithapparentlyunaccustomedaffectionaroundhermother'sshouldersandgently

guidedherbackintothecrowd.TearsfilledmyeyeswhenIwatchedthemdisappearinginthe

crowd.

【解析】

通過(guò)閱讀所給文章可知，作者在錄像帶工作做兼職時(shí),看到了一對(duì)母女一起走進(jìn)了商店。

女兒非常不耐煩，而母親只是從容地選著DVD?？吹竭@里作者想到了自己的母親，于是在

收銀臺(tái)排隊(duì)時(shí)給了女兒一些忠告。

續(xù)寫(xiě)部分分為兩段，第一段開(kāi)頭是：當(dāng)那位老婦人在收銀臺(tái)排隊(duì)時(shí)，我走向她的女兒。

可知后文應(yīng)當(dāng)描寫(xiě)作者和女兒的對(duì)話，作者勸告女兒珍惜現(xiàn)在和母親相處的時(shí)刻；第二段開(kāi)

頭是:他們一起朝商店的出口走去。后文應(yīng)當(dāng)描寫(xiě)聽(tīng)了作者建議的女兒和母親在一起的表現(xiàn),

她把她的胳膊放在她母親的肩膀上，帶著明顯不習(xí)慣的感情，輕輕地把她帶回到人群中。作

者看著消失在人群中，熱淚盈眶。

最后注意詞數(shù)為150詞左右。

【范文點(diǎn)評(píng)】

本文描寫(xiě)詳略得當(dāng)，使用了高級(jí)詞匯和高級(jí)句子。如：annoyance,toone'ssurprise,

deliberation等高級(jí)詞匯；時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句Whenshe'sgone,it'stheselittlemomentsthatwillcome

backtoyou.；非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞的運(yùn)用Havingfinishedsaying由is,Inoticedtheelderlywomanmoving

withherdeliberationbacktoherdaughter.等高級(jí)句式。

3.【參考范文】

Paragraph1:

Atlast/gotup,slippedoutintotheyardandtooktheaxfromthechoppingblockThenIwent

intothebamandtookthechocolateoutside.Bythelightofthemoon,Iwasabouttocutofftheend

ofthebarwhenIheardnSon!uIcouldn'tthinkofathingtosay.Igrabbedupthebarofchocolate

andhiditnexttomychestbefore1turnedaround.Fatherpickedmeupandtookmeovertothe

woodpile.Ididn'tknowanybodycouldspankashardashedid.

Paragraph2:

Thenhestoodmeonmyfeetandaskedif1thoughtIhaddeservedthespanking.Hesaidit

wasn'tsomuchthatI'dtakenthechocolate,butthatI'dtriedtohideitfromhim/'Son,"hesaid,"I

knowyouhelptoearnthefamilymoney.Wemightsaythechocolatewasyoursinthefirst

place.Youcouldhavehaditifyou'daskedforit,butIwon'thaveyoubeingsneakyaboutthings.

【解析】

本篇書(shū)面表達(dá)是讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)。通過(guò)閱讀所給文章可知，作者記敘了孩童時(shí)一次“偷”東西的

經(jīng)歷，因?yàn)楹軔?ài)吃巧克力，作者打算偷吃一點(diǎn)媽媽買的巧克力卻意外地將其整塊巧克力拿走，

然后就陷入了不知如何處理的尷尬局面中，他選擇了扔棍子讓天意告訴他該怎么做，如果落

下來(lái)指向西就還回去，指向南就切一點(diǎn),指向懂就花錢買下來(lái)，最終棍子是指向西偏一點(diǎn)南。

續(xù)寫(xiě)的部分就從那天晚上開(kāi)始。

【范文點(diǎn)評(píng)】

續(xù)寫(xiě)部分分為兩段，第一段開(kāi)頭是：我起了床，溜到院子里拿起了斧頭。所以應(yīng)該寫(xiě)他

準(zhǔn)備切巧克力了，但是第二段開(kāi)頭是：他讓我站好然后問(wèn)我覺(jué)得自己值不值得挨揍。由此可

知作者在切巧克力時(shí)應(yīng)該是被父親發(fā)現(xiàn)了然后被父親揍了一頓，這些都要在第一段體現(xiàn)。而

第二段則應(yīng)該承接父親的問(wèn)題，借由父親之口向作者講清道理，或總結(jié)作者從中的收獲，使

文章完整。

續(xù)寫(xiě)時(shí)要注意所續(xù)寫(xiě)短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右，需按要求完成續(xù)寫(xiě)任務(wù)。

【范文點(diǎn)評(píng)】

本文描寫(xiě)詳略得當(dāng)，使用了高級(jí)詞匯。如：bythelightofthemoon,beaboutto,besneaky

about等；情境描寫(xiě)得較為生動(dòng)，代入感強(qiáng)；英文表達(dá)地道，如：Hesaiditwasn'tsomuchthat

Fdtakenthechocolate,butthatFdtriedtohideitfromhim熟練地運(yùn)用了形式主語(yǔ)it,彰顯了較

高的英語(yǔ)水平。

4.【參考范文】

IknewIhadtodosomething.Thewhitedoveanditsmatehadgivenmesomethingtolook

forwardto,eveninmydarkestdays.NowIwasgoingtohelptheminreturn.Iwokeupthe

followingmorningwithaplan.Therewasonlyanhourbeforethedovesusuallymadetheirvisits.

Ihammeredashelfintothewallnexttotherubbertreeandcovereditwithleavestomakeitlook

likeatree.ThenMatthewandIstoodbytheslidingglassdoor,waitingandhoping.

“Itworks!Thebirdsareback!”Matthewannounced.Theretheywere—sittingontopofthe

shelf,addingsometwigstothenewnestdespitedamagefromthestrongwind.Threeweekslater,

wewatchedthreechicksbreakfreefromtheirshells.4tChirp,chirp!”Matthewsang.Iheldhim

closeandkissedhim,feelingmorepositiveandhopefulthanIhadinmonths.Irealizedallaround

me,lifewenton.AnditwasfilledwithwondersandsurprisesthatIcouldn'tevenimagine.

【解析】

通過(guò)閱讀所給文章可知，作者四歲的兒子Matthew每天都看到白鴿來(lái)到自己家的院子

里，每天早上，他都會(huì)跑進(jìn)廚房，站在滑動(dòng)玻璃門旁邊，在鳥(niǎo)兒搭巢時(shí)和它們說(shuō)話。一天夜

里，刮起了一陣大風(fēng)，把鴿巢掀到地上。作者以為鴿子再也不回來(lái)，但他們又回來(lái)了。它們

對(duì)那堆曾經(jīng)是它們巢穴的樹(shù)枝毫不在意。他們又從零開(kāi)始。然而，風(fēng)又一次摧毀了他們所有

的辛勤工作。第二天，接著第二天，他們又繼續(xù)努力，仿佛什么也沒(méi)發(fā)生過(guò)。

續(xù)寫(xiě)部分分為兩段，第一段開(kāi)頭是：我知道我必須做點(diǎn)什么。所以后文應(yīng)該是講述鴿子

給了作者一些值得期