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MenarefromMars,WomenarefromVenus
男人來自火星,女人來自金星——TalkaboutmenandwomenMenarefromMars,Womenaref很少人能夠真正隨著愛情成長,但不容否認(rèn),確實(shí)有人能夠做到。只有當(dāng)男人和女人能夠尊重和接受彼此的不同,愛情才有機(jī)會(huì)繁盛。Veryfewpeople,indeed,areabletogrowinlove.Yet,itdoeshappen.Whenmenandwomenareabletorespectandaccepttheirdifferencesthenlovehasachancetoblossom.
很少人能夠真正隨著愛情成長,但不容否認(rèn),確實(shí)有人能夠做到。只
RememberingOurDifferences
1.女人對(duì)男人最常見的抱怨是,男人不肯傾聽。Themostfrequentlyexpressedcomplaintwomenhaveaboutmenisthatmendon'tlisten.2.男人對(duì)女人最常見的抱怨,是女人總是企圖要改變他們。Themostfrequentlyexpressedcomplaintmenhaveaboutwomenisthatwomenarealwaystryingtochangethem.
原因在于二者的價(jià)值觀不同:men'sandwomen'svaluesareInherentlydifferent
RememberingOurDifferences
1AboutMen1.他們對(duì)“物體”和“事情”比較有興趣,對(duì)人們與感覺比較沒興趣。Themenaremoreinterestedin"objects"and"things"ratherthanpeopleandfeelings.2.完成目標(biāo)對(duì)男人很重要因?yàn)槟鞘撬C明能力與自我滿足的方法Achievinggoalsisveryimportanttoamanitisawayforhimtoprovehiscompetenceandthusfeelgoodabouthimself.whymenresistsomuchbeingcorrectedorbeingtoldwhattodo.——Toofferamanadviceistopresumethathedoesn'tknowwhattodoorthathecan'tdoitonhisown.However,ifhetrulydoesneedhelp,thenitisasignofwisdomtogetit.AboutMen1.他們對(duì)“物體”和“事情”比較有興趣,對(duì)AboutWomen1.女人重視愛、溝通、美與關(guān)系。溝通對(duì)她們最重要。分享個(gè)人感覺比完成目標(biāo)和成功更重要。Womenvaluelove,communication,beauty,andrelationships.Communicationisofprimaryimportance.Tosharetheirpersonalfeelingsismuchmoreimportantthanachievinggoalsandsuccess.2.因?yàn)榕瞬徽J(rèn)為證明能力是件多了不起的事,所以她們認(rèn)為提供幫助并非唐突,請(qǐng)求幫助也不算能力不足。
provingone'scompetenceisnotasimportanttoaVenusian,offeringhelpisnotoffensive,andneedinghelpisnotasignofweakness.3.尊敬別人的方法是耐心傾聽,感同身受地了解對(duì)方的感覺Awayofhonoringothersistolistenpatientlywithempathy,seekingtrulytounderstandtheother'sfeelings.AboutWomen1.女人重視愛、溝通、美與關(guān)系。溝通對(duì)Women—Giveupgivingadvice
Men—Learningtolisten
MengototheirCavesandWomenTalkMEN:Afterthemenlearnedhowtolistentheymadeamostamazingdiscovery.TheybegantorealizethatlisteningtoawomantalkaboutproblemscouldactuallyhelpthemcomeoutoftheirirritationinthesamewayaswatchingthenewsonTVorreadinganewspaper.Women:Whenthemenweregoingintotheircaves,themenalsodidnottakeitpersonally.theyfinallyunderstoodthatamengoingintohiscavewasnotasignthathedidn'tloveherasmuch.
Women—Giveupgivingadvice
M6Whendomenandwomenfeelthemselvestoloveandtobeloved?
當(dāng)男人覺得被需要時(shí),他會(huì)被激發(fā),充滿動(dòng)力當(dāng)女人覺得受珍愛時(shí),她會(huì)被鼓舞,充滿動(dòng)力。Men:Nottobeneededisaslowdeathforaman.Itisdifficulttobemotivatedwhenheisnotneeded.Women:Sheneedstofeelsheisnotalone.Sheneedstofeellovedandcherished.Whendomenandwomenfeelthe7WhatMenNeedWhatWomenNeedTrustCaringAcceptanceUnderstandingAppreciationRespectAdmirationDevotionApprovalValidationEncouragementReassuranceWhatMenNeedWhatWomenNeedTr8Thankyou!!!
Itisnevertoolatetoincreasetheloveinyourlife.Ifyouwanttohavemorefulfillingrelationshipswiththeoppositesex,thistemplateisforyou.Mayyoualwaysgrowinwisdomandinlove.Iwishinthefuturefewpeoplewillgetdivorcedandmorepeoplewillgetmarried.What'smore,thechildrenofthesemarriedpeoplewillobtainabetterlife.Thankyou!!!Itisnever9AboutloveletterWhyweneedtowriteloveletter?LoveletterI.WriteaLoveLetterexpressingyourfeelingsofanger,sadness,fear,regret,andlove.2.WriteaResponseletterexpressingwhatyouwanttohearfromyourpartner.3.ShareyourLoveLetterandResponseLetterwithyourpartner.AboutloveletterWhyweneedt10一、寫一封表達(dá)你的氣憤、傷心、害怕、后悔和愛的感覺的情書。二、寫一封表達(dá)你想聽聽另一半說什么的回應(yīng)信。三、和另一半分享你的情書和回應(yīng)信。一、寫一封表達(dá)你的氣憤、傷心、害怕、后悔和愛的感覺的情書。11WhywewriteloveletterThedifferentwaysmenandwomenhidefeelingsarediscussedalongwiththeimportanceofsharingfeelings.
TheLoveLetterTechniqueisrecommendedforexpressingnegativefeelingstoyourpartner,asawayoffindinggreaterloveandforgiveness.WhywewriteloveletterThedi12Afterwritingyourletteryoumaynolongerfeelaneedtotalk.Insteadyoucouldbecomeinspiredtodosomethinglovingforyourpartner.
Whetheryousharethefeelingsinyourletteroryoujustwritealettertofeelbetter,writingdownyourfeelingsisanimportanttool.男人來自火星女人來自金星課件13TalkaboutloveletterSTEPI:writingALOVELETTER(寫情書)TalkaboutloveletterSTEPI:14
HerearesomeguidelinesforwritingabasicLoveLetter:
I.Addressthelettertoyourpartner.Pretendthatheorsheislisteningtoyouwithloveandunderstanding.2.Startwithanger,thensadness,thenfear,thenregret,andthenlove.Includeallfivesectionsineachletter.3.Writeafewsentencesabouteachfeeling;keepeachsectionapproximatelythesamelength.Speakinsimpleterms.4.Aftereachsection,pauseandnoticethenextfeelingcomingup.Writeaboutthatfeeling.5.Donotstopyourletteruntilyougettothelove.Bepatientandwaitforthelovetocomeout.6.Signyournameattheend.Takeafewmomentstothinkaboutwhatyouneedorwant.WriteitinaP.S.1.讀情書給另一半聽,假設(shè)他正以愛和了解聽你讀信。
2.每封信包括五種感覺,先是氣憤,再來是傷心、害怕、后悔,最后是愛。
3.用一些簡單明了的句子描述每種感覺,保持五種感覺的句子長度相等。
4.每寫完一種感覺,停一下,讓下一個(gè)感覺涌上,然后寫下那感覺。
5.愛的感覺沒出來以前不要停止寫信,耐心地等待愛出現(xiàn)。6.在信末署名。再想想你需要什么,寫入附注。Herearesomeguidelinesfor15Herearesometemplatestosimplifywritingyourletters
(模板)I.ForAngerIDon'tlikeit...Ifeelfrustrated...Iamangrythat...Ifeelannoyed...Iwant...1.表達(dá)氣憤.我不喜歡…….我覺得沮喪…….我氣…….我覺得困擾…….我要……Herearesometemplatestos162.ForSadnessIfeeldisappointed...Iamsadthat..Ifeelhurt...Iwanted...Iwant...2.表達(dá)傷心我感到失望…………令我傷心我覺得受到傷害……我要……2.ForSadness2.表達(dá)傷心173.ForFearIworried...Iamafraid...Ifeelscared...Idonotwant...Ineed...Iwant...3.表達(dá)害怕我煩惱……我害怕……我惶恐……我不要……我要……4.ForRegretIFeelembarrassed...Iamsorry...Ifeelashamed...Ididn'twant...Iwant...4.表達(dá)后悔我感到害羞……我很抱歉……令我羞愧我不要……我要……3.ForFear4.ForRegret185.
ForLoveILoveIwant...Iunderstand...Iforgive...Iappreciate...Ithankyoufor...Iknow...5.表達(dá)愛我愛……我要……我了解……我原諒……我感激……我謝謝你……我知道……5.ForLove5.表達(dá)愛19STEP2:writing
ARESPONSELETTER
(寫回應(yīng)信)STEP2:writing
ARE20寫下希望從對(duì)方那里得到的回應(yīng)。writingaResponseLetteristhesecondstepintheLoveLetterTechnique.Onceyouhaveexpressedbothyournegativeandpositivefeelings,takinganadditionalthreetofiveminutestowriteaResponseLettercanbeahealingprocess.Inthisletter,youwillwritethekindofresponseyouwouldliketohavefromyourpartner.寫下希望從對(duì)方那里得到的回應(yīng)。writingaResp21Itworkslikethis.ImaginethatyourpartnerisabletorespondlovinglytoyourhurtfeelingstheonesyouexpressedinyourLoveLetter.Writeashortlettertoyourselfpretendingitisyourpartnerwritingtoyou.Includeallthethingsyouwouldliketohearfromyourpartneraboutthehurtsyouhaveexpressed.Itworkslikethis.Imagineth22方法是,想像你的伴侶非常有愛心地回應(yīng)你在情書中表達(dá)的受傷的感覺。寫一封信給自己,假裝那是對(duì)方的回應(yīng)信。信中包含所有你希望從配偶口中聽來的關(guān)于你所表達(dá)的傷害的事。方法是,想像你的伴侶非常有愛心地回應(yīng)你在情書中表達(dá)的受傷的感23Thefollowingleadinginphrasescangetyoustarted:Thankyoufor...Iunderstand...Iamsorry...Youdeserve...Iwant...Ilove...謝謝你……我了解……抱歉……我要……我愛……Thefollowingleadinginphras24STEP3SHARINGYOURLOVELETTERANDRESPONSELETTER(分享你的情書和回應(yīng)信)STEP3SHARINGYOURLOVELETT25Sharingyourlettersisimportantforthefollowingreasons:Itgivesyourpartneranopportunitytosupportyou.Itallowsyoutogettheunderstandingyouneed.Itgivesyourpartnernecessaryfeedbackinalovingandrespectfulway.Itmotivateschangeinarelationship.Itcreatesintimacyandpassion.Itteachesyourpartnerwhatisimportanttoyouandhowsuccessfullytosupportyou.Ithelpscouplestostarttalkingagainwhencommunicationbreaksdown.Itteachesushowtohearnegativefeelingsinasafeway.Sharingyourlettersisimport26可給你伴侶支持你的機(jī)會(huì)。允許你獲得自己需要的支持。以愛與尊重的方式給與伴侶必要的回饋??纱龠M(jìn)關(guān)系的改善??山虒?dǎo)你的伴侶知道什么對(duì)你最重要,也可教導(dǎo)他如何成功的支持你。溝通破裂時(shí),可幫助伴侶再交談??山虒?dǎo)我們?nèi)绾我园踩姆绞絹砺犗麡O的感覺。可給你伴侶支持你的機(jī)會(huì)。27寫與分享情書的意圖StatementofIntentforwritingandSharingaLoveLetter我寫這封信是為了發(fā)現(xiàn)我的積極感覺和給你應(yīng)得的愛,在這過程里,我分享了令我沮喪的消極感覺。Ihavewrittenthisletterinordertofindmypositivefeelingsandtogiveyoutheloveyoudeserve.AspartofthatprocessIamsharingwithyoumynegativefeelings,whichareholdingmeback.你的了解將幫助我敞開心靈趕走消極感覺。我相信你在乎,你會(huì)盡力回應(yīng)我的感覺。我感激你愿意傾聽我、支持我。Yourunderstandingwillhelpmetoopenupandletgoofmynegativefeelings.Itrustthatyoudocareandthatyouwillrespondtomyfeelingsofthebestwayyoucan.Iappreciateyourwillingnesstolistenandsupportme.另外,我希望這封信能幫助你了解我的需求和愿望。InadditionIhopethatthisletterwillassistyouinunderstandingmywants,needs,andwishes.寫與分享情書的意圖28聽情書的意圖(Thepartnerwhoishearingtheletterneedstolist
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