-2024屆高考英語(yǔ)作文復(fù)習(xí)專項(xiàng)讀后續(xù)寫人與社會(huì)類-我們接納了一位空巢老人學(xué)案

要求：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)150左右，后兩段首句已給出。Alightknockonthedoorbroughtmefrommykitchen.Becausewehadjustmovedintotheneighborhood,Icouldn’timaginewhoitwouldbe.Openingthedoor,anoldmanstoodthere,whowasdressedindirtyclothingandwearingdirtyrubberboots.Hishandhungaplasticbag.“CanIhelpyou?”Iasked.“Wouldyouliketobuysomefreshvegetables?”Hisblueeyeswerehopeful.“Aretheyfromyourgarden?”Ilookedinsidehisplasticbagandsawsomecarrotswithsoil.“Yes,”hisvoicewassoft.“AndIcangetsomeapplesfromatreeinmyyard.Wouldyoulikesomeofthose,too?”Myheartsoftened,andIwonderedifhewasbadlyinneedofmoney.Withasigh,Isaid,“PleasestepinsideandI’llgetmymoney.”Thenextday,heknockedatourdooragain.Thistime,mylittlefour-year-olddaughtergottherefirst.“Oh,hello.Wouldyouliketocomeinforsometea?”Withoutasecondthought,theoldmansteppedinsideandheldoutabrokenbasketwithseveral

apples.“Frommytree,”hesaid,removingaworncap.“Youmightliketomakeapie.”Thethreeofussatatthekitchentableanddrankourtea.Itwasobviousthatmydaughterlikedhostingavisitorinhernever-endingquestions.“Whatisyourname?Wheredoyoulive?Whyareyourclothessodirty?”Thehomeless-lookingmanlaughedasheansweredeachquestion.HisnamewasMr.Locketandhelivedaroundthecorner.Hiswifehadpassedawayseveralyearsago,andhischildrenalllivedfaraway.Hewaslonely.Hisneedforcompanyhadsenthimdoortodoorsellingfruitandvegetables.Ourswastheonlydooropenedtohimthatday.續(xù)寫：Para1:Whenhefinishedthetea,hesaidhehadtogohomeandpromisedtoreturnthenextday.

Para2:

Severalyearslater,asmallenvolopewasdeliveredtoourhome-aletterfromtheoldman’sdaughter.

文本分析：

這是一篇非常生動(dòng)的短文，文中各種描寫形式豐富，非?；顫?。

如果把這樣的短文看作是微型小說，這樣讀后續(xù)寫就是小說續(xù)寫。按照小說三要素理論（人物，情節(jié)，環(huán)境），我們應(yīng)在分析這三個(gè)要素之后，方才動(dòng)筆。其中怎么組織情節(jié)是關(guān)鍵。

人物方面。在這篇短文里，我們看見了三個(gè)主要人物?；谝延械拿鑼懀梢钥闯觥拔摇笔且粋€(gè)熱情友好的人，“我”的女兒是一個(gè)天真爛漫的孩子，Mr.Locket是一個(gè)孤獨(dú)、渴望陪伴但健談的空巢老人，所以接下來人物的一言一行也要吻合這個(gè)基本形象。

環(huán)境方面。能看出，這就是一個(gè)陌生家庭接納了一個(gè)空巢老人的故事，那么具體怎么接納，要看文章的具體行文了。

情節(jié)方面。短文已經(jīng)進(jìn)行到了老人第二天的來訪，第二段首句提到“老人明天會(huì)回來”?；诖耍酉聛淼囊欢蝿?shì)必是描寫或敘述第三天的場(chǎng)景。而第二段又提到幾年后老人女兒的來信，可見第一段要談到老人的孩子。第二段主要敘述信的內(nèi)容。走向，做到有的放矢呢？運(yùn)用關(guān)鍵詞法，以“關(guān)鍵詞鏈”推導(dǎo)“情節(jié)鏈”。也就是，抓住原文中的某個(gè)細(xì)節(jié)詞匯，在后文強(qiáng)化、延伸，以此為支線索，推動(dòng)情節(jié)發(fā)展，深化主旨內(nèi)涵。這樣整篇文章就會(huì)更加渾然一體，文章的可讀性也會(huì)大大增加。

思路一：

抓住老人穿著細(xì)節(jié)，后面復(fù)現(xiàn)，推動(dòng)情節(jié)發(fā)展，即dirtyrubberboots,aworncap,abrokenbasket→clotheswerestillworn→why（為什么總穿舊衣服）。

思路二：

抓住關(guān)鍵詞lonely。全文的情節(jié)就是圍繞解決Mr.Locket及他們的loneliness來發(fā)展。從前文提到的Heislonely，再到neverfeltlonely，再到anyoldmannearbywouldnotbelonelyanymore.ManSeveralyearslater,asmallenvelopewasdeliveredtoour

home—aletterfromtheoldman’sdaughter.Sheexpressedineffablegratitudetousforaccompanyingherfatherforyears,duringwhichhisfatherspentthehappiesttimeandneverfeltlonely.However,herfatherhadpassedawayandagreedtogivehishomesteadtomeasareturnofgift.Touched,Iturnedtomycommunityforhelptomakeitanoldpeople’shome.Fromthenon,anyoldmannearbywouldnotbelonelyanymore.

思路三：

抓住細(xì)節(jié)詞apple/applepie，把它寫成Mr.Locket與“我”家感情的見證者與促進(jìn)者，即apple/applepie→enjoyapplepie→(theoldman)stillrememberitsgoodtaste.參考范文：Paragraph1:Whenhefinishedthetea,hesaidhehadtogohomeandpromisedtoreturnthenextday.Mydaughterexcitedlywaitedforhisnextvisitandmadefullpreparations.Astheoldmanvisitedusthenextday,hewasamazedbyallofthepreparationsforhim,includingapplepies.Hiseyeswerefilledwithtears.Webecamefriends,andmydaughterandIenjoyedthecompanytheoldvisitorofferedus.Butbeforelong,hehadtomovetolivewithhisdaughterandwehadn’tseenhimeversince.Paragraph2:Severalyearslater,asmallenvelopewasdeliveredtoour

home—aletterfromtheoldman’sdaughter.Sheinformedusthatourdearoldfriendhadpassedawayandsentusanotherletterwrittenbytheoldman,whichsaid,“Thankyouforallyourkindnessestoanoldman.WhenIwaslonely,youtookmein.WhenIwasbadlyinneedofafamily,youacceptedme.Mylastfewyearsarefilledwithhappinessbecauseofyou.”默寫版：Paragraph1:Whenhefinishedthetea,hesaidhehadtogohomeandpromisedtoreturnthenextday.____________________________________________________我女兒興奮地等待著他的下一次來訪，并做了充分的準(zhǔn)備.Astheoldmanvisitedusthenextday,hewasamazedbyallofthepreparationsforhim,includingapplepies.Hiseyeswerefilledwithtears._____________________________________________________________________________我們成了朋友，我和女兒很享受老客人給我們的陪伴.Butbeforelong,hehadtomovetolivewithhisdaughterandwehadn’tseenhimeversince.Paragraph2:Severalyearslater,asmallenvelopewasdeliveredtoour

home—aletterfromtheoldman’sdaughter._________________________________________________________________________________________