【讀后續(xù)寫】高三讀后續(xù)寫公開課-讀后續(xù)寫課件-陶江英

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TaoJiangyingChengnanHighSchool

Lead-inWhathappenedtotheboy?Howcanhegetoutofthecrack?Tip1:Usespecificverbstodescribeaspecificscene.backandchestweretouching…movesidewaysto…climb/crawloutof…drillaholein…pull/push…bestuck/trappedinthecrack/gaprubthesurface…ThetiringtripWhenHowWhoWhatWhyWhere

Sundaylastyearthegroup(we)caveexploredtriedtorescuemeIwasstuckin…Para.1Para.2Para.3-4ThehelpfulteammatesTheexperiencedleaderReadingforplot

We

I

hikedfor______________abseiledthroughan_________movedfor___________acoupleofhoursicywaterfallfourhourstired,wet,cold

Plot1:ThetiringtripReadingforplot

Luca

Steve

_________3caversgotstuckinthecrack10minspullingandpushinghim

wasfreeneededto_______another15mins_______himtoanexitguidingguidingleavetiredpatientexperiencedPlot2:TheexperiencedleaderReadingforplot

Thegroup

Iput…downmove…sidewaysdrop…to…didn’tmakeitencouragedmetriedagain,didn’twantto____________…triedeverythingto…arm________,backandchest_______….JimtriedtopullmebackblockingJim’sescapeweakenedtouchingtrapped,feet_______,leftarm________...inconveniencehangingsupportedconsideratehelpfulkindPlot3:Thehelpfulteammatesdisappointed,worried,nervousupset,frustratedcold,harassed,scaredguiltyworried,upset,discouraged,depressedReadingforplot

Thegroup

Iput…downmove…sidewaysdrop…to…didn’tmakeitencouragedmetriedagain,didn’twantto_____________…triedeverythingto…arm________,backandchest_______….JimtriedtopullmebackblockingJim’sescapeweakenedtouchingtrapped,feet_______,leftarm________...inconveniencehangingsupportedconsideratehelpfulkindThehelpfulteammatesPlot3:disappointed,worried,nervousupset,frustratedcold,harassed,scaredworried,upsetguilty,discouraged,depressedMoreexpressionstodescribenegativeemotions:ThefaiththatIcouldmakeitalivefadedgradually.Ifeltmoreandmorefrustratedandhopeless.Itcastacloudofgloomovermyface.Iforcedasmileatthisdarkandhopelessmoment.…Iwasseizedbyastrongsenseofpanic.Fearslowlycreptuponme.Afloodoffearwelledupme.Withfearandpanicoverwhelmingme,I……Myface/eyeslitupwiththehopeof…Itfilledmymindwithabrightlight.Myeyestwinkledwithexcitement.Tearsofjoyfloodedmyeyes.Iletout/breathedasighofrelief.…Moreexpressionstodescribepositiveemotions:LucagotstuckinacrackI

How?Theme?Itwastheteamworkthathelpedmeout.thegrouptherescueteamTip2:Haveagoodunderstandingofthestorybeforewriting.Readingforwriting

Paragraph1:Withtheriskofthelowbodytemperature,thegroupsuppliedmewiththeirownjackets._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:Aftereighthours,Lucafoundtherescueteam._________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Didthejacketsmakemewarm?HowdidIfeelatthatmoment?Whatdidthegroupdoforme?DidJimdosomethingforme?DidLucadosomething?HowdidIfeelintheend?Howdidtherescueteamsaveme?Paragraph1:Withtheriskofthelowbodytemperature,thegroupsuppliedmewiththeirownjackets.________________________________________________________Writing

thegroup/JimIpossiblefeelingspossibleactionsunderlinedwordscomfort,encourage,tellstories/jokes,pull,push,…cried,fallasleep,pray,…cold,tired,harassed,scared,hopeless,…Jim,Luca,encouraged,feet,gap,minutes,trapped,…worried,…Writing

therescueteam/LucaIpossiblefeelingspossibleactionsunderlinedwordsParagraph2:Aftereighthours,Lucafoundtherescueteam.____________________________hopeful,thrilled,…lightup,move,pull,crawl,thank,…examine,remove,shift,drill,polish,…calm,…Luca,climbed,minutes,feet,makeit,ThunderCanyonCave,…Tip3:Focusonthegivensentencesandunderlinedwords.Assessing

對(duì)第五檔(21-25)作文的描述：1.與所給短文融洽度高，與所提供各段落、開頭語(yǔ)銜接合理。2.內(nèi)容豐富，應(yīng)用了5個(gè)以上短文中標(biāo)出的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)。3.所使用語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯豐富、準(zhǔn)確，可能有些許錯(cuò)誤，但完全不影響意義表達(dá)；4.有效地使用了語(yǔ)句間的連接成分，使所續(xù)寫短文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊；Keepinmind:1.Positive2.Closelyrelated(betweenparagraphsandwithinparagraphs)3.Specificwordsorvividdescription4.Varioussentencepatterns5.UnderlinedwordsTip4:Keepthemarkingcriterioninmindwhilewriting.Paragraph1:Withtheriskofthelowbodytemperature,thegroupsuppliedmewiththeirownjackets.Nevertheless,theywereofnouseformetowarmup.FeelingIcouldn’tmakeitalive,Iwasseizedbyastrongsenseofpanic.Jim,whoseescapewasblockedbyme,wassurprisinglycalm.AsIwasreadytobearhisstormyblame,hebegantocrackjokestocomfortme.Withtheencouragementfromthegroup,IfirmlybelievedLucacouldfindsomeonetorescueme.Assessing

closelyrelatedspecificwordsandvividdescriptionPolishing

Paragraph2:

Aftereighthours,Lucafoundtherescueteam.WhenIsawthem,Ibreathedfreely.Therescueteamusedtheirtechniquetosavemefromthegap.Isawmyparentsneartherescueteam.Atthattimetearswelledupmyeyes.Afterthisexperience,Iknewthatathinbodyisimportantwhenyougothroughagap.Howtoimproveit?Paragraph1:Withtheriskofthelowbodytemperature,thegroupsuppliedmewiththeirownjackets.Nevertheless,theywereofnouseformetowarmup.FeelingIcouldn’tmakeitalive,Iwasseizedbyastrongsenseofpanic.Jim,whoseescapewasblockedbyme,wassurprisinglycalm.AsIwasreadytobearhisstormyblame,hebegantocrackjokestocomfortme.Withtheencouragementfromthegroup,IfirmlybelievedLucacouldfindsomeonetorescueme.Assessing

closelyrelatedspecificwordsandvividdescriptionParagraph1:Withtheriskofthelowbodytemperature,thegroupsuppliedmewiththeirownjackets.Nevertheless,theywereofnouseformetowarmup.FeelingIcouldn’tmakeitalive,I

wasseizedbyastrongsenseofpanic.Jim,whoseescapewasblockedbyme,wassurprisinglycalm.AsIwasreadytobearhisstormyblame,hebegantocrackjokestocomfortme.Withtheencouragementfromthegroup,IfirmlybelievedLucacouldfindsomeonetorescueme.closelyrelatedspecificwordsandvividdescriptionAssessing

Polishing

Paragraph2:

Aftereighthours,Lucafoundtherescueteam.WhenIsawthem,Ibreathedfreely.Therescueteamusedtheirtechniquetosavemefromthegap.Isawmyparentsneartherescueteam.Atthattimetearswelledupmyeyes.Afterthisexperience,Iknewthatathinbodyisimportantwhenyougothroughagap.Atsightofthem,myeyeslitupwithhope.Itdawnedonmethatwhatreallycountedwastheteamwork.Therescueteamusedtheirspecifictoolstorubthesurfaceofthestonewallstofreemyhips.AppreciationWiththeriskofthelowbodytemperature,thegroupsuppliedmewiththeirownjackets.However,theyservednopurpose.Frightenedandexhausted,Iwasdriftedinandoutofadreamlikestate.Jimtriedtocrackjokestokeepmeawake.Astimewentby,thefaiththatIcouldmakeitalivefadedgradually.Noticingit,Lucadecidedtoturntoarescueteamforhelp.Aftereighthours,Lucafoundtherescueteam.Ontheirarrival,thet