【長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話大全】 英語(yǔ)短笑話大全 爆笑

1、【長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話大全】 英語(yǔ)短笑話大全 爆笑 在交際場(chǎng)合,能恰到好處地講個(gè)笑話或自創(chuàng)一個(gè)幽默,不僅可以體現(xiàn)自己的語(yǔ)言水平,還可以提升個(gè)人魅力。細(xì)心收集了長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話，供大家觀賞學(xué)習(xí)! 長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話：dont you like any of our colours today? mrs. green was eighty，but she had a small car，and she always drove to the shops in it on saturday and bought her food. she did not drive fast，because she wa

2、s old，but she drove well and never hit anything. sometimes her grandchildren said to her，please dont drive your car，grandmother. we can take you to the shops. but she always said，no，i like driving. ive driven for fifty years，and im not going to stop now. last saturday she stopped her car at some tra

3、ffic-lights because they were red，and then it did not start again. the lights were green，then yellow，then red， then green again，but her car did not start. what am i going to do now? she said. but then a policeman came and said to her kindly，good morning. dont you like any of our colours today? 格林太太八

4、十歲了。她有一輛小型轎車，每逢星期六她總是開(kāi)著這輛車去購(gòu)買食品。 由于年紀(jì)大了，格林太太車子開(kāi)得不快，不過(guò)她開(kāi)車技術(shù)很高，從來(lái)沒(méi)有出過(guò)事。有時(shí)她的孫子孫女們對(duì)她說(shuō)：奶奶，您別開(kāi)車了，我們可以送您去商店。 但她總是說(shuō)：不，我喜愛(ài)開(kāi)車。我已經(jīng)開(kāi)了五十年了，現(xiàn)在還不想撒手。 上星期六，她觀察交通燈是紅色就剎住了車。后來(lái)車子熄火了。交通燈由綠色轉(zhuǎn)為黃色，然后轉(zhuǎn)為紅色，又轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)榫G色，可她的車子還是發(fā)動(dòng)不起來(lái)。 現(xiàn)在我該怎么辦呢?她說(shuō)。 這時(shí)一位警察走過(guò)來(lái)，和氣地對(duì)她說(shuō)：早上好，今日交通燈的顏色沒(méi)有一樣您喜愛(ài)嗎? 長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話：開(kāi)窗 a gentleman was sitting quietly in

5、 a first-class compartment. two ladies got in. one of them saw that the window was open and she shut it before sitting down.open it again, said the second lady, ill die of suffocation(窒息，悶死) if there is no fresh air.i wont open it, said the first lady, ill die of cold if the window is open.a querrel

6、 started, and it continued until the gentleman spoke:lets have the window shut until this lady has died of suffocation, and then we can have it open until this lady has died of cold. after that it will be nice and quiet in here again. 解決問(wèn)題的好方法 一位紳士正悄悄地坐在頭等包廂里，有兩位女士走了進(jìn)來(lái)。其中一位見(jiàn)窗戶開(kāi)著，就在落坐之前把窗戶把窗戶打開(kāi)，其次位女士

7、說(shuō)道，假如沒(méi)有新奇空氣，我會(huì)被憋死的。 不能打開(kāi)，第一位說(shuō)道，假如它開(kāi)著，我會(huì)被凍死的。 一場(chǎng)爭(zhēng)吵開(kāi)頭，沒(méi)完沒(méi)了，直到那位紳士開(kāi)口： 我們先讓窗戶關(guān)著，直到把這位女士憋死，然后再打開(kāi)窗戶，直到把這位女士?jī)鏊?。那以后，這兒就可以復(fù)原安靜了。 長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話：跳板 the cruise ship my friend was working on docked(停駐) at a mexican port during a very high tide. everyone on board was forced to use the ships narrow gangplank(跳板，踏板) as

8、a passageway to the dock far below.the staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70s appear at the top of the plank(厚木板，支架) . there wasnt room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyones relief. as she stepped down, she turned, looked

9、 back at the top of the plank and shouted, its okay, mother, you can come down now. 長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話：my husband will be home soon a married man was visiting his girlfriend when she requested that he shave his beard. oh james, i like your beard, but i would really love to see your handsome face. james replie

10、d, my wife loves this beard, i couldnt possibly do it, she would kill me! oh please? the girlfriend asked again, in a *y little voice. oh really, i cant, he replies.my wife loves this beard! the girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. that night james crawls into bed with his

11、wife while she was sleeping. the wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies oh michael, you shouldnt be here, my husband will be home soon! 我丈夫立刻就要回來(lái)了 一個(gè)已婚男人去訪問(wèn)他的女伴侶時(shí)，女伴侶要求他剃去胡須。 噢，詹姆斯，我喜愛(ài)你的胡子，但我更喜愛(ài)看到你英俊的面孔。 詹姆斯回答說(shuō)，我的妻子喜愛(ài)我的胡子，所以我不行能剃掉它，否則她會(huì)殺了我的。 噢，我求你了，女伴侶用一種低沉的、性感的聲音又一次說(shuō)道。 可是，我不能，他回答道，我的妻子喜愛(ài)這胡子。