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1、PEP小學英語六年級上冊各單元作文范例及點評Li Ying S Hobby Li Ying likes English very much. She works hard at it. She reads English every morning. She likes speaking English. She often listens to the radio. She watches TV only on Saturday evening. Does she like dancing? No, she doesnt
2、. But she likes drawing and singing. Her parents love her. And all the teachers and her friends like her, too. She says her hobbies make her happy. 【要領點評】 這一篇寫愛好的文章,小作者的寫作思路很值得我們學習,他沒有具體寫到劉瑩的某一種愛好,而是從學習到課余的多種愛好入手,對劉瑩的各種愛好進行了粗線條地勾畫.從“愛好”這個角度來看劉瑩的話,我們會覺得這個形象很飽滿。
3、; 小朋友們寫這種“敘事寫人”作文時,可以從兩個角度下手:一是具體地描繪;二是和上面小朋友一樣,粗線條地勾畫,二者各有所長,另處在行文中使用一些問句,使用一些轉述的話,可以使作文更有靈氣,避免了平鋪直敘的缺點。比如上文的“Does she like dancing? No, she doesnt.”和“she says her hobbies make her happy.”就是十分不錯的句子,使讀者眼前為之一亮。 Dont be against the traffic rules I go to school from Monday to Fri
4、day .I go to school by bike at 7:30 in the morning .I must cross two busy roads .If the traffic light is red or yellow,I know I cant cross the road ,so I wait. If the light turns green, I know it means “Go”, and then I walk across the road .I always ride on the right side of the ro
5、ad .I am never against the traffic rules. 【要領點評】 這篇作文的題目是“不要違反交通規(guī)則”,小作者沒有說一些空話,而是從自己的經歷寫起,敘述自己以什么方式去上學,在上學的路上是怎么做的,很形象。 小朋友們在作文時注意不要圖大,那樣很容易使文章顯得空洞,而要寫自己身邊熟悉的事情。要注意行文中字母的大小寫、句子的標點符號等。 I Love My Family Here is a photo lf my family. These
6、 are four people in my family. They are my father, my mother, my brother and I. My father is a doctor. He works in a hospital far away. He goes to work by subway. My mother is a teacher. She works in a school near my home. She goes to work by bike. After work, they like reading boo
7、ks. Who is the tall boy? He is my brother. He is five years older than me. He is a singer. Hes now in Beijing. He goes there by plane.I love my family. 【要領點評】 一個平凡的題材,一篇生動的作文。這樣的命題,我們可能面對幾次,甚至幾十次了。但這位小朋友的筆端很是靈巧,了了數(shù)言,讓一個幸福的家庭躍然紙上,很值得我們去思考,我們能做到嗎? 小朋友的這篇作文除了語言優(yōu)
8、美之外,在結構上也有閃光之處。先總說,將自己的家人逐個介紹一遍,后分說,把家人的工作、上班方式,愛好一一細說。最后以一句話進行概括,起到點題的作用。我們在寫類似的作文的時候是不是也可以借鑒呢? How to get to the science museum We are going to the science museum tomorrow. There is an old thing show in the Museum. Do you know how we can get to the science museum?
9、; The science museum is next to the Peoples Park. Its isnt far from our school. So we can go there on foot .Walk straight to the west from our school, next turn left at the post office and walk for about 5 minutes, then turn right at traffic lights. You can find the Peoples Park on the right .
10、 Walk straight, and youll see the science museum. 【要領點評】 這篇作文的題目是“怎樣去科學博物館”。怎樣才算是一篇好作文呢?通過你的敘述,能讓別人很容易找到博物館,這應是最基本的要求。小作者在文中告訴我們什么呢?首先他寫了去博物館的位置,最后濃墨重彩,指明從學校去博物館的具體路線,這條路線夠清晰吧! 小朋友們在寫這類作文的時候,總有些無從下手的感覺,不知從何說起。其實介紹路線,無非就是告訴他人某段路的起點和終點,還有就是如何從起點走到終點。要給他人說清楚,你自己
11、首先得清楚,然后再通過自己的敘述,將路線清清楚楚得呈現(xiàn)出來。一定要注意行文中一些關鍵的地方,如在哪兒轉彎,向哪兒轉,經過哪些重要的交通標志或顯眼的標志建筑等。這樣,你就能說清,別人也能弄明白。 Planting Trees Its spring. Its time to plant trees. I want to plant a tree in our garden. Dad and Mum are very happy. They like green. Dad helps me plant th
12、e tree. First, we dig the soil. Then I put a little tree into the soil. Next I water it. I am so excited and I wait for the tree to grow. Two weeks later, my tree has some little leaves. I water it every day. Now it has lots of leaves. It grows fast.We should plant more trees. They make our world be
13、autiful. 【要領點評】 小作者寫了一次植樹的經歷,但他并沒有單純拘泥于植樹的過程。既有過程,也有感覺,能使文章打動讀者,給人以啟發(fā)。作文的最后一段就非常好,兩句話勝似千言萬語。我們可以學習一下這種寫法。既描述過程,又適時提自己的看法或想法的寫法,在作文中叫做“夾敘夾議”,描述過程為了提出一種思想服務,提出看法或想法使原本平實的描述有了意義。我們在以后的寫作中也可以試一試。 Lets have a nice dayIts Sunday tomorrow .Im going to the bookstore with my frien
14、ds tomorrow morning .We are going to look for some good books .We all like reading books .We are going to eat our lunch at the restaurant. I like chicken, beef and vegetables .After lunch, we are going to the Summer Palace by bus. We are going to play near the Kunming Lake. Maybe we are going to row a boat on the lake .Wow, that will be relaxing. We are coming back at 5pm.【要領點評】 怎樣才稱得上是“美好的一天”?有兩點不能忘記,一是安排得充實,二是安排得有意義。這兩點小作者無疑都想到了,上午去書店看書買書,中午在飯店吃飯,下午去頤和園玩耍、劃船,豐
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