【英文版】《Friends》劇本（第二季）

1、?Friends?劇本第二季201 The One With Ross New GirlfriendScene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.PHOEBE: Ok, so this is pretty much whats happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he

2、 tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like forget about her but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, Oh my god. So she went to the airport to meet him when he came ba

3、ck, but what she didnt know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, thats pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, howve you been?OPENING CREDITSScene, The Airport, continued from last season, Rachel is waiting for Ross to come of the plane,

4、when she sees hes coming off with another woman.RACHEL: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.) ROSS: Rache!RACHEL: Oh, there you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, how was China, you? (Hits him with

5、 the flowers.)ROSS: It was, it was great. Oh, what happened?RACHEL: What?ROSS: Youre bleeding. RACHEL: I am? Oh, look at that, yes I am. Enough about me, enough about me, Mr. Back from the Orient. I wanna hear everything! (Looks at Julie)ROSS: Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Ra

6、chel.RACHEL: These are, these arent for you. (to Julie) These are for you. (Loudly, thinking she cant speak English.) Welcome to our country.JULIE: (Loudly, proving she can speak English.) Thank you. Im from New York.RACHEL: Ok, well, not a problem. Well just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Bagga

7、ge claim? Ok.Scene: Monica and Rachels, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.CHANDLER: No way!MONICA: Im telling you, she went to the airport, and shes gonna go for it with Ross! PHOEBE: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, whats

8、bigger than huge?JOEY: Um, this?PHOEBE: Yes.MONICA: Guys, you got your hair cut.CHANDLER: Yes, yes, we did, thanks to Vidal Buffay.PHOEBE: Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you dont look good, we dont look good. I love that voice.RACHEL: (entering, out of breath) Airport, airport. Ross, not alone,

9、 Julie, arm around her. Cramp, cramp.CHANDLER: Ok, I think shes trying to tell us something. Quick, get the verbs.RACHEL: (to Chandler) You, you, you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slowpokes!ROSS: Thats all right, Rache, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica.

10、 This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up? JOEY: What up?!ROSS: Everyone, this is Julie.RACHEL: (out of breath) Julie.ALL: Ohh. (Happily) Hi!JULIE: Hi, but Im not here, you havent met me. Ill make a much better first impression tomorrow when I dont have 20 hours of cab and plane on me.ROSS: And bus.J

11、ULIE: Oh my god.ROSS: The screaming guy?JULIE: And the spitting?ROSS: You gotta hear this story.JULIE: Were on this bus, thats easily 200 years old.ROSS: At least.JULIE: .and this guy-RACHEL: And the chicken poops in her lap. Oh, Im so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didnt I? Oh! Its just, I jus

12、t heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about.MONICA: This is amazing. I mean, how, how did this happen?JULIE: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together.ROSS: But we havent seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess whos in charge of the dig. RACHEL: Julie! Julie, i

13、snt that great? I mean, isnt that just kick- you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?MONICA: Its an expression.ROSS: Well, we just wanted to say a quick hi, and then were gonna go see the baby.JULIE: And then weve gotta get some sleep.ROSS: Yeah, its really 6:00 tomorrow night our time.CHANDL

14、ER: Well, listen, dont tell us whats gonna happen though, cause I like to be surprised.(Ross and Julie exit)RACHEL: Bye. (She closes the door and everyone tries to sympathize with her.)Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler enter.ROSS: Hey, Rache, can I get some coffee?RACHEL: Yeah, sure.ROSS: Thank

15、 you.CHANDLER: Hey, Rache, can I get-RACHEL: Did you talk to him?CHANDLER: Not yet.RACHEL: Then, no.(He goes to sit down next to Ross.)CHANDLER: So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know.ROSS: I know, I know I was, but there was

16、 always this little voice inside that kept saying its never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was?CHANDLER: God?ROSS: It was you, pal.CHANDLER: Well, maybe it was God, doing me.ROSS: Look, you were right. She looks at me and sees a friend, thats all. But then I met Julie, and I dont k

17、now, were havin a great time. And I have to say, I never wouldve gone for it with her if it hadnt been for you.CHANDLER: Well, you owe me one, big guy.RACHEL: Heres your lemonade.ROSS: I didnt order lemonade.RACHEL: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because theyre gonna charge you for that

18、.ROSS: But-RACHEL: Go go go go, come on! (to Chandler) So then, well, what did you find out?CHANDLER: He said, he said that theyre having a great time. Im sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself without any outside help whatsoever.RACHEL: How i

19、s that the silver lining?CHANDLER: You have to really wanna see it.Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross and the gang is watching TV.ROSS: Ironically, these are the guys who were picked last in gym.cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen.MONICA: Phoebes, you know what Im thinking?PHOEBE: Oh, ok. How, its

20、been so long since youve had sex, youre wondering if theyve changed it?MONICA: No, although now thats what Im thinking.PHOEBE: All right, so what were you thinking?MONICA: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe youd like to do mine?PHOEBE: Ohh! No.MONICA:

21、Why not?PHOEBE: Because, Im just, Im incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.MONICA: No youre not.PHOEBE: I know Im not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.(The phone rings.)JOEY: (answering the phone) Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, its Julie, for you. (Thro

22、ws him the phone.)ROSS: (on phone) Hello? Hi.CHANDLER: (entering) Hi. Anybody know a good tailor?JOEY: Needs some clothes altered?CHANDLER: No, no, Im just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.JOEY: Why dont you go see Frankie? My familys been goin to him forever. He did my first suit when I w

23、as 15. No wait, 16. No, scuse me, 15. (still confused) All right, when was 1990?CHANDLER: You have to stop the Q-tip when theres resistance!ROSS: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, Ill see you later. Ok, bye. What? Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (motions for Rach

24、el to be quiet) Well you didnt hang up either. RACHEL: She didnt hang up either!ROSS: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y-RACHEL: (taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.ROSS: Rachel! Ill just call her back. RACHEL: Okay!ROSS: (calls Julie back) Hi? Sorry, we go

25、t disconnected.RACHEL: Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now hes Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I cant have.MONICA: Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too.RACHEL: I know you did. Im j

26、ust gonna deal with it, Im just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here.CHANDLER: Ok, I dont care what you guys say, somethings bothering her.Scene: Monica and Rachels, the next morning.JOEY: You know, I think I was sixteen.MONICA: Please, just

27、a little bit off the back.PHOEBE: Im still on no.RACHEL: (poking her head in from her bedroom) Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?JOEY: No no no no no, (grabs his pants) Im not fallin for that again.PHOEBE: Whats goin on?RACHEL: Well, I sorta did a stupid thing l

28、ast night.CHANDLER: What stupid thing did you do?PAOLO: Bon giorno tutti!PHOEBE: Ewww!COMMERCIAL BREAKScene: Monica and Rachels continued from earlier.RACHEL: Ok, Paulo, why dont you just go get dressed, and then you be on your way, ok, bye-bye.MONICA: Rachel, how did this happen?RACHEL: I dont know

29、, I just kinda ran into him last night.PHOEBE: Where?RACHEL: At his apartment. Is this juice?JOEY: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?RACHEL: Oh God, I know Im a pathetic loser.MONICA: Honey, youre not pathetic, youre sad.CHANDLER: People do stupid things when they

30、re upset.MONICA: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadnt-but this is about your horrible mistake.ROSS: Hi. Sorry were late but we were-well, there was touching.PAOLO: Hey, hey Ross.ROSS: Hey, Paulo. What are you doing here?PAOLO: I do Raquel.ROSS: (to Rachel) So, uh, hes back.RACHEL:

31、Yeah, hes back. Is that a problem?ROSS: No, not a problem.RACHEL: Good! Im glad its not a problem.PHOEBE: Ok, youre gonna have to not touch my ass.CHANDLER: Well, in spite of the yummy bagels and palpable tension, Ive got pants that need to be altered.JOEY: Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell

32、him Joey Tribbiani says hello. Hell know what it means.CHANDLER: Are you sure hes gonna be able to crack that code?MONICA: You know its funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.PHOEBE: All right. Ok, but, but you have to promise that you will not be all like control

33、-y and bossy and Monica about it.MONICA: I promise.PHOEBE: All right. Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you arent. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.Scene: Monicas bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut.PHOEBE: All right, thats it, I quit.MONICA: What? I didnt say

34、anything.PHOEBE: Yeah, but this isnt the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this is the face of a person who, you know, doesnt trust a person.MONICA: Im sorry. Im sorry, Phoebe. Its just a little shorter than what we had discussed.PHOEBE: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how h

35、e wears it.MONICA: How who wears it?PHOEBE: Demi Moore.MONICA: Demi Moore is not a he.PHOEBE: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.MONICA: Thats Dudley Moore. I said I wanted it like Demi Moore.PHOEBE: Oh, oh, oh my god! MONICA: Oh my god!PHOEBE: Im sorry, Im sorry. Which ones Demi Moore?MONICA:

36、Shes the actress who was in Disclosure, Indecent Proposal, Ghost. PHOEBE: Oh, shes got gorgeous hair.MONICA: I KNOW!Scene: Franks tailor shop, Chandler is getting his pants altered.FRANKIE: How long do you want the cuffs?CHANDLER: At least as long as I have the pants.FRANKIE: I just got that. Ok, no

37、w well do your inseam.(He slowly measures it up his leg, and Chandler makes a rather surprised face.)Scene: Monica and Rachels, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.RACHEL: How is she?PHOEBE: Its too soon to tell. Shes resting, which i

38、s a good sign.ROSS: Hows the hair?PHOEBE: Im not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesnt look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.JOEY: Can we see her?PHOEBE: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, you come on in. (They go into the bedroom leaving J

39、oey and Rachel alone.)JOEY: Howre you doing?RACHEL: Im ok.JOEY: Ooh, that bad, huh? Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. Its one of my gifts.RACHEL: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, its like theres rock bottom, then 50 f

40、eet of crap, then me.JOEY: You gotta tell Ross how you feel.RACHEL: Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie?JOEY: What about her? Theyve only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years.RACHEL: I dont know, I dont know.JOEY: Look, Rache, Rache, Ive been

41、with my share of women. In fact, Ive been with like a lot of peoples share of women. The point is, Ive never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.CHANDLER: (entering, angry) Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? Your tailor is a very bad man!JOEY: Frankie? Whatre you talking about?ROSS:

42、(entering from teh bedroom) Hey, whats goin on?CHANDLER: Joeys tailor.took advantage of me.ROSS: What?JOEY: No way. Ive been going to the guy for 12 years.CHANDLER: He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite-ROSS: what?CHANDLER: Cupping.JOEY: Th

43、ats how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isnt that how they measure pants?ROSS: Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whatsa matter with you?JOEY: What? Thats not? Oh my go

44、d.Scene: Monica and Rachels, later that day. Monica is now out and about.MONICA: Even Mary Tyler Moore wouldve been better.ROSS: I like it. I do, I think its a Ten.MONICA: Thank you. My hair is very amused.CHANDLER: Come on, Monica, things could be worse. You could get caught between the moon and Ne

45、w York City. I know its crazy, but its true.PHOEBE: Thank you.ROSS: Well, I gotta go. Bye. Bye, Rache.RACHEL: (sticking her head in from the balcony) Wait, are you leaving?ROSS: Yeah, thats kinda what I meant by bye!RACHEL: Well, can I talk to you for a sec? ROSS: Okay. (goes out onto the balcony)JO

46、EY: Hey, when the doctor does that hernia test.CHANDLER: Thats ok.Out on the balconyROSS: Whats goin on?RACHEL: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldnt. Um, second of all, what? (Ross lau

47、ghs)ROSS: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?RACHEL: No. No-no-no-no.ROSS: Well, then, I think, I

48、 think the guy is scum. I hate him. I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that. You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning th

49、inking Oh my god, Im with Rachel. You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. Was there a second of all?RACHEL: No, I think that was the whole all.Cut back inside, Joey is on the phone.JOEY: I swear to god, Dad. Thats not how they measure pants.CLOSING CREDITSScene: Central P

50、erk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.JULIE: I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, you know, like Andy McDowells new haircut?PHOEBE: You wanna do it right now?JULIE: Great! (Julie leaves)PHOEBE: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andy McDowells the girl fro

51、m Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?RACHEL: No. No no no no no. Thats Rodney McDowell. Andy McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.PHOEBE: Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you.RACHEL: Youre welcome.END 202 The One With the Breast MilkScene: Monica and Rachels, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gan

52、g.MONICA: (entering from her bedroom carrying a present) Ok, these were unbelievably expensive, and I know hes gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldnt resist. (There a little pair of Nike shoes.)PHOEBE: Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it. (Ben starts to cry) Oh my god, oh, ok,

53、 was that too much pressure for him?SUSAN: Oh, is he hungry already?CAROL: I guess so. (Carol starts to breast feed Ben.)CHANDLER: You know, its. (sees the feeding taking place next to him) something funny about sneakers. Ill be right back. (Goes into the kitchen)JOEY: (joins him) I gotta get one, t

54、oo.ROSS: (following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?CHANDLER: Were just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle?ROSS: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.JOEY: Yeah, we know, but theres a baby suckin on it.ROSS: This is my son having lunch, ok?

55、 Its gonna happen a lot, so youd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if youre uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carols fine with it, now come on.(They go back into the living room)CHANDLER: Carol, Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feed

56、ing?CAROL: Sure.JOEY: Uh, does it hurt?CAROL: It did at first, but not anymore.JOEY: Chandler?CHANDLER: So, uh, how often can you do it?CAROL: As much as he needs.JOEY: Ok, I got one, I got one. If he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?OPENING TITLES Scene: Central Perk, the gang is all t

57、here.JULIE: Rachel, do you have any muffins left?RACHEL: Yeah, I forget which ones.JULIE: Oh, youre busy, thats ok, Ill get it. Anybody else want one? ALL: No thanks.JULIE: Oh, youre losin your apron here, let me get it. There you go. (Ties it back up for her)RACHEL: (to Julie) Thank you. (under her

58、 breath to Chandler) What a bitch.JULIE: Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdales whos quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it?PHOEBE: I cant, I have to take my grandmother to the vet.MONICA: Ok, um, Ill go with y

59、ou. JULIE: Great.ROSS: (enters) Hi, honey.CHANDLER: Hey, sweetums.ROSS: Hello to the rest.ALL: Hi!JOEY: Monica whatre you doin? You cant go shopping with her? What about Rachel?MONICA: Its gonna be a problem, isnt it?CHANDLER: Come on, youre going to Bloomingdales with Julie? Thats like cheating on

60、Rachel in her house of worship.MONICA: But Im-PHOEBE: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.ROSS: So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow?MONICA: Yeah, uh, its actually not that big a deal.ROSS: Its a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really