高中英語作文-讀后續(xù)寫(勵志類)主題訓(xùn)練-(勇敢奶奶勇斗劫車歹徒)

PAGEPAGE12020山東濰坊二模英語讀后續(xù)第二節(jié)（滿分25分）閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。Ireceivedanurgentcallfrommyaunt."TurnontheTV.Granny'sontheChannel10news."ItturnedoutthatGrannyhadmadeasandwichrunforherofficeandwasstoppedataredlightdowntown.Shehadthewindowrolleddowntoenjoythebreezewhenamanrusheduptothedriver'ssidewindow,intendingtocarjack（劫車）her.Now,whatthewould-becarjackercouldn'thaveknownwasthatthiswomansimplywasn't"agranny".ThiswasNancyJohnson—thesamewomanwhoownedandlivedonaTexascattlefarm,droveherowntractors,anddugherownpostholestolayfence.Theweekbefore,shehadshotarattlesnakeandchoppedoffitsheadwithashovel.Shewastheproudownerofthenewminivan（小型貨車）shewasdriving.Inotherwords,shewasnotyournormalkindofgranny.Thecarjackerleanedintotheopenwindow,onehandstuffedinhispocket,andsaid,"Getoutofthiscar.Ihaveagun,andIwillshootyou.”Astatementlikethatwouldhaveterrifiedanyoneelse.Instead,Grannysawitasachallenge."Ifyoureallyhadaguninyourpocket,youwould'vepulleditoutandledwiththatfirst,"sheshoutedathim,apparentlyunworried.Shewasright.Thecriminaldidn'thaveagun.Heinsteadreachedintothewindow,grabbedher,andtriedtopullheroutofthevan.Hepulledopenthedoor,wildlycatchingGranny'sarms.Grannyleanedhershoulderinsidetopressthehorn（喇叭)

andstartedyellingtomakepeoplearoundnoticewhatwashappening.Withthedoornowopen,sheheldtightthesteeringwheelwithonearmandstartedkickingthemananywhereherfootcouldmakecontact.Thistallwomanhadquiteareach.paragraph1：Afterawell-placedkick,themanwasdone,andattemptedtoreleaseherandrun.____paragraph2:Later,weasked?Granny,don’tyourealizeyoucouldhavegotyourselfkilled?”___構(gòu)思：本文是一篇讀后續(xù)寫。本篇書面表達(dá)是讀后續(xù)寫。通過閱讀所給文章可知，作者的奶奶開車上街。在停車等紅綠燈的時候遇到了攔路搶劫犯。作者的奶奶沒有被嚇到，反而在路上和搶劫犯做斗爭。抓住了搶劫犯，并因此上了電視。續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，第一段開頭是：在踢了一腳后，這名男子被擊倒，并試圖放開她并逃跑……，所以這一段應(yīng)該寫歹徒試圖逃跑而奶奶伙同其他人制服歹徒，并因此上了電視。要詳細(xì)寫奶奶是如何抓住那個歹徒的。第二段開頭是：后來，我們問:“奶奶，難道你沒有意識到你會被人盯上嗎?”本段應(yīng)該寫奶奶不畏懼任何壞人。并且通過奶奶的事跡，教會了我們一些人身哲理：我們要無所畏懼。文章思路清晰，語言規(guī)范，段落整齊，語篇連貫，層次清晰。使用了較為高級的句式:with的復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)WithGrannyleadingthecharge,agroupofstrangerscametogetherandpinnedthemantothesidewalk,holdinghimthereuntilthepolicecame；定語從句：Butwealllearnedanimportantlessonfromherthatday-thesamelessonthathadbeenbuildingthroughtheyears等。高級句式的應(yīng)用提升了寫作的檔次，整個短文顯示出了作者高水平的英語表達(dá)能力。答案：Afterawell-placedkick,themanwasdone,andattemptedtoreleaseherandrun.ButGrannywouldn’tstandforthat.Itwasnowherturntograbontohim,herhandsmadestrongfromhoursandhoursoffarmwork.Thatpoorfooldidn’thaveachance.Sheshoutedforhelptobystanders,andtheyrushedtoheraid.WithGrannyleadingthecharge,agroupofstrangerscametogetherandpinnedthemantothesidewalk,holdinghimthereuntilthepolicecame.Asilver-hairedwomanhadjustmadeacitizen’sarrest.Later,weasked“Granny,don’tyourealizeyoucouldhavegotyourselfhilled?”Granny’sanswerwassurprisinglyamusingandsimple:“Iwasn’tscaredofthatlittleidiot.I’dhadmybrand-newvanforlessthantwodaysandapackofgoodsandwichesformyoffice.Andtherewasnowayhewasgoingtogeteitherofthose!”Butwealllearnedanimportantlessonfromherthatday-thesamelessonthathadbeenbuildingthroughtheyears.Sheencouragedustopushboundariesandexpectations.Butevenmoreso,shetaughtusfearlessness.讀后續(xù)寫問題與建議一、問題：1.原文閱讀理解不到位。人物身份混亂，不知道thetallwoman就是granny；沒有找準(zhǔn)故事情節(jié)發(fā)展伏筆，與原文情景融洽度不高。2．提示句理解不到位。第一段提示句暗示granny在搏斗中逐漸占據(jù)上風(fēng)，劫車賊企圖松手逃跑，這時應(yīng)該寫granny不放手，如何成功將其抓住的。但學(xué)生習(xí)作中，許多學(xué)生還是繼續(xù)描寫劫車賊拿出刀子，繼續(xù)搏斗，或者逃脫成功，granny開車追趕等情節(jié)，與提示句和原文銜接不夠。第二段提示句中暗示續(xù)寫部分應(yīng)該寫granny當(dāng)時的心理變化和從granny身上學(xué)到的優(yōu)秀品質(zhì)（勇敢，無畏，冷靜）。但許多學(xué)生偏離主題，變成尋求幫助或幫助別人。或者主題升華太高，把這種行為當(dāng)成一種責(zé)任。3．語言表達(dá)錯誤，1)語言表達(dá)不地道，詞匯和句式表達(dá)不豐富2）仍然存在漢語式思維表達(dá)。如：grannycrashedthecar.;inanobodystreet;thephonedon’t’useful；3）詞性不分，僅僅是單詞的羅列。如：meetdifficultordangerous;Grannywasbravery.4)不規(guī)則動詞變化掌握不牢。如：catch；know5)單詞拼寫錯誤。語法錯誤較多，基本句子結(jié)構(gòu)寫不對。1）runcan’tsolvetheproblems.

2）thephonedon’tuseful3)

suddenly,hetakentheknife;

4)

wepreventhegothimselfkilled.；5)

thecarjackerwerecaught.;

6）Iknowhowprotectmyself.7）書寫雖好，但句不成句。句與句之間缺少銜接過渡。4.字?jǐn)?shù)不夠，書寫潦草，卷面劃痕多，書寫不規(guī)范。5.存在抄襲原文的現(xiàn)象。二、建議：1.拓寬閱讀視野，開設(shè)專題教學(xué)讀后續(xù)寫的文本體裁多為故事類的記敘文，教師應(yīng)開設(shè)與此相關(guān)的專題教學(xué)課程，體驗語言的賞析思用，如文學(xué)類的短篇小說和經(jīng)典美文的欣賞及讀寫整合課，把語言知識融匯到經(jīng)典語篇中去慢慢體驗，利用原著小說開發(fā)讀寫微技能，拓寬學(xué)生的文學(xué)和文化視野，感悟情感教育，掌握解讀英語短篇小說的基本原理和技巧，提高文本解讀能力和批判性思維能力。2.改進(jìn)學(xué)習(xí)方式，激活主動學(xué)習(xí)日常教學(xué)以活動為主線，以學(xué)生為主體，把閱讀的自主權(quán)還給學(xué)生，放慢讀寫節(jié)奏，讓學(xué)生慢閱讀，細(xì)品味。采用學(xué)生自由閱讀和小組合作分享相結(jié)合的方式，讓學(xué)生在研讀、探究、體驗、合作中，與文本對話、與作者對話、與同伴交流，從而豐富自我。試題講評要容許學(xué)生個性化觀點(diǎn)和不同答案，倡導(dǎo)讀寫整合教學(xué)，提升高階思維，把課堂真正還給學(xué)生。3.重視語言訓(xùn)練，提倡得體表達(dá)在日常的教學(xué)中要重視從原文作者的視角剖析語言，還原作者使用語言的初衷，