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書(shū)面表達(dá)二經(jīng)典精講(下)主講老師:林斌北京八十中學(xué)英語(yǔ)高級(jí)老師開(kāi)篇語(yǔ)(一)情景作文---以內(nèi)容和語(yǔ)言定檔定分2011老師受傷稿件敘述2010支配旅游周記敘述,開(kāi)頭寫(xiě)好2009植樹(shù)活動(dòng)稿件敘述2008春游 稿件敘述2007競(jìng)選班長(zhǎng) 信敘述,開(kāi)頭結(jié)尾寫(xiě)好2006王珊 個(gè)人簡(jiǎn)介 2005夏Jeff中國(guó)生活支配信 描述,開(kāi)頭寫(xiě)好2005春李明的變化稿件 敘述,開(kāi)頭寫(xiě)好2004夏課余活動(dòng) 圖表 描述,看法2004春過(guò)去現(xiàn)在生活變化稿件 敘述,開(kāi)頭寫(xiě)好2003夏樹(shù)的故事 稿件 敘述,開(kāi)頭寫(xiě)好2003春學(xué)雷峰活動(dòng)日記 敘述,開(kāi)頭結(jié)尾寫(xiě)好題一:假設(shè)你是紅星中學(xué)高二(1)班的同學(xué)李華,下面四幅圖描述了近期發(fā)生在你們班的一個(gè)真實(shí)故事,請(qǐng)依據(jù)圖片的先后挨次,為??坝⒄Z(yǔ)園地”寫(xiě)一篇短文,詞數(shù)不少于60。1.老師滑倒2.同學(xué)送老師看病3.同學(xué)探望老師4.老師回班上課______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________情境作文一、審題要到位:兩個(gè)關(guān)鍵詞:近期/??⒃u(píng)分原則:要點(diǎn)+細(xì)節(jié)+語(yǔ)言質(zhì)量一檔:18-20二檔:15-17三檔:12-14四檔:6-11五檔:1-50要點(diǎn)四個(gè)要點(diǎn)不行缺少,如缺少一個(gè)要點(diǎn)就直降到四檔。(6—11)老師滑倒/摔倒同學(xué)送老師看病同學(xué)探望老師老師回班上課細(xì)節(jié)
每個(gè)要點(diǎn)下面都要有至少一個(gè)細(xì)節(jié)的支撐。
圖一:粉筆飛出;同學(xué)吃驚/擔(dān)憂;老師穿高跟鞋(不宜多說(shuō))
圖二:同學(xué)們的陪伴/背著老師扶著老師/給老師把鞋脫掉
圖三:鮮花和水果;談天;右腳打繃帶
圖四:老師坐輪椅;右腳打繃帶;同學(xué)們的反應(yīng)(鼓掌歡迎)幾點(diǎn)說(shuō)明
圖二:從clinic到圖三hospital的地點(diǎn)轉(zhuǎn)換,不交代也認(rèn)可。
圖四:只要表明老師返回班里甚至是學(xué)校就可以了。不強(qiáng)調(diào)回來(lái)上課也可以接受。對(duì)于細(xì)節(jié)的認(rèn)定較寬泛。同學(xué)的普遍問(wèn)題◆要點(diǎn)幾乎都可以寫(xiě)全,不會(huì)漏掉。但要點(diǎn)下面細(xì)節(jié)的支撐少?!粽Z(yǔ)言的質(zhì)量不高?!敉瑢W(xué)擅長(zhǎng)抒發(fā)感情,但動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)欠缺(在第四幅圖后,寫(xiě)一堆的情感套話,如贊揚(yáng)老師或者師生和諧)開(kāi)放作文---以內(nèi)容和語(yǔ)言定檔定分2011跨河摘蘋果describeandexplain2010樹(shù)與建筑describeandexplain2009文化差異describeandexplain2008圓規(guī)與鉛筆describeandexplain2007大鳥(niǎo)小鳥(niǎo)describeandexplain2006城市雕塑describeandexplain2005夏照鏡子describe2005春交通建議 2-3suggestions2004 夏丟錢的可能性 3-4possibilities2004 春找路 2-3differentways2003 夏暑期方案 ≥1examples,fun立意明確,規(guī)律清楚(立意-----細(xì)節(jié)描述)語(yǔ)言達(dá)意請(qǐng)依據(jù)下面提示,寫(xiě)一篇短文。詞數(shù)不少于50。InyourspokenEnglishclass,yourteachershowsyouthefollowingpicture.Youareaskedtodescribethepictureandexplainhowyouunderstandit.立意1:勇于克服困難(小樹(shù)在不規(guī)章大樓中間堅(jiān)韌生長(zhǎng))立意2:成功來(lái)自于不懈的努力(小樹(shù)努力克服各種困難,最終獵取了陽(yáng)光)立意3:多給孩子成長(zhǎng)的空間(樓房的不規(guī)章造成了小樹(shù)的扭曲)題二:請(qǐng)依據(jù)下面提示,寫(xiě)一篇短文。詞數(shù)不少于50。InyourspokenEnglishclass,yourteachershowsyouthefollowingpicture.Youareaskedtodescribethepictureandexplainhowyouunderstandit.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________立意1:要學(xué)會(huì)選擇(隔著河摘蘋果很累,旁邊有橋,應(yīng)學(xué)會(huì)選擇)立意2:創(chuàng)新,嘗試新方法(有橋不走,嘗試隔河摘蘋果,更省事)立意3:不要冒險(xiǎn)(隔著河摘蘋果很危急,做事要穩(wěn)妥)開(kāi)放作文描圖+釋圖評(píng)分原則:是否扣題/切題規(guī)律是否清楚內(nèi)容是否充實(shí)語(yǔ)言是否精確一檔:13-15二檔:9-12三檔:4-8四檔:1-30是否扣題描述要源自畫(huà)面中,是基于畫(huà)進(jìn)行的描述,對(duì)于圖畫(huà)的理解和對(duì)于畫(huà)面的主題沒(méi)有特殊的規(guī)定。不刻意強(qiáng)調(diào)哪個(gè)立意對(duì),哪個(gè)立意不對(duì),最重要的是能自圓其說(shuō)。同學(xué)們的主題:懶散;頭腦機(jī)敏,富于創(chuàng)新;不要冒險(xiǎn);要富于冒險(xiǎn)精神,增加挑戰(zhàn)性;學(xué)會(huì)選擇;不要走捷徑…規(guī)律是否清楚后面的釋圖是從前面的描圖引申出來(lái)的。描述為談?wù)摯蚧A(chǔ)(埋下伏筆:What’sinthepicture?What’sgoingoninthepicture?與下文闡述產(chǎn)生關(guān)聯(lián)性),談?wù)摰幕A(chǔ)是描述的內(nèi)容,否則談?wù)摼褪菬o(wú)源之水。關(guān)注謀篇布局的整體把握,形成語(yǔ)篇的連貫性。描述和闡述是一個(gè)有機(jī)的整體。Theboywantstosavetimeandenergy,butactuallyhewastestime.Hemakesastupidchoice.Sowhenwedosomething,weshouldthinkitoveranddon’tbelazyanddowellpreparation.內(nèi)容是否充實(shí)論述部分要看闡述時(shí)是否能圍繞中心開(kāi)放,不是簡(jiǎn)潔的句式變換或表層的思維,更不要停留在一句話上說(shuō)來(lái)說(shuō)去。Whenwefindapropermethod,wewillsucceed.Withoutapropermethod,wewillfail.Onlywhenwefindapropermethod,canwesucceed.語(yǔ)言是否精確留意詞匯的選取,適當(dāng)用簡(jiǎn)潔句直接闡述中心,滿足主題和規(guī)律的雙重考察(句子多樣性),看句與句之間能否形成意思。
Inourlife,weshouldworkhard.Facedwithdifficulties,weshouldfindaproperwaytosolvetheproblem.Itisimportantforustothinktwicebeforewetakeaction.同學(xué)的普遍問(wèn)題
◆套話過(guò)多,影響寫(xiě)作質(zhì)量(不能投機(jī))
◆規(guī)律不清楚:逐層深化
◆內(nèi)容不充實(shí)
◆語(yǔ)言不精確名師寄語(yǔ)書(shū)面表達(dá)二經(jīng)典精講(下)講義參考答案題一:媒體公布范文LastMonday,wewerehavingourChineseclasswhentheteachersuddenlyslippedandfell.Wewereallworriedabouther.Oneoftheboyscarriedherontheback,withthehelpofsomeothers,totheclinicimmediately.Itturnedoutthatherrightlegwasbrokenandshehadtostayinthehospital.Thefollowingday,wewenttovisitherwithflowersandfruit.Seeingherlyinginbedwithherlegwrappedinbandages,wefeltsorryforherandhopedthatshewouldrecoversoon.ThisThursdayshereturnedtotheclassonawheelchairtogiveuslessons.Wewerealldeeplymovedandproudofhavingsucharesponsibleteacher.(119)同學(xué)作文LastFriday,anaccidenthadhappenedsuddenlyinourclass.WhilewewerehavingourEnglishclassattentively,ourteachermissedastepandfelltotheground.Oneofmyclassmatesshouted“Watchthestep!”butit’stoolate.Withoutanydelay,ourmonitorandtwootherstudentscarriedhertotheschoolclinic.Toourgreatrelief,theproblemwasn’tserious.Sincewewerealllovedourteacher,allofmyclassmateswenttoseeourteacherafterclasswithsomebeautifulflowers.Wechattedhappilyandweallhopedthatourteacherwillsoonbeallright.Afterafewweeksinthehospital,ourteacherfinallycamebackinawheelchair.Weclappedourhandsandgaveherawarmwelcome.Seeingtheteacher,weallhadasenseofhappiness.Whataunitedclassweare!(141)同學(xué)作文Webelieveinthephilosophythatofferingothershelpmakesourselvessatisfiedandhereiswhathappenedrecentlyinmyclass.Whenourteacherwasgivingaclass,shesuddenlylostherbalancebytheedge,felldownandhurtherlegs.Everyonewasastonishedatthattime.However,wequicklycalmedourselvesdown,andswiftlycarriedhertotheclinic.Ontheway,weaskedanxiouslywhetherithurtalotandtoldhernottoworry.Havingbeendiagnosedasaseverebonehurt,shehadtostayinhospitalforweeks.Inordertoeaseherfeelingofloneliness,wepaidavisittoher.Severaldayslater,therewesentherflowers,wishingheraquickrecovery,someheldherhandsanddeliveredourcareforher,whileotherspromisedtostudyhard.Wechattedhappily,andIsawhertearsofsatisfactionandpleasure.Yesterdaywasthebigday—ourteacherreturned“home”fromthehospital.Seeinghersmilingface,weclappedourhandsasawarmwelcome.She,thoughsittinginawheelchair,showedherpleasantsmilelikeanangel,asifshewasexpressingherthanks.AgainIsawtearsshininginhereyes,theywerethesymbolsofhappinessratherthantiredness.Thiswasjustasimplethinginourschoollife,butsomethingmeaningful.Ourteachersneverfailtoofferustheirmeticulous(當(dāng)心翼翼的;一絲不茍的)care,sowhentheyneedhelp,it’sourdutyaswellashonortolendahelpinghand.Inthisway,wecancreateaharmoniousteacher-studentrelationship!(261)題二:媒體公布范文:Inthepicture,therestandsatreefulloffruitononesideofthestream.Acrossthestream,amanistryingtoreachoutontheedgeofthebankforthefruitwithanetattachedtoapole.Notfarawaythereisabridgethatcanleadhimtothetreeformorefruit.Themessageconveyedinthepictureisclear.Inpursuingadream,wemightfocusononlyonewayofmakingitcometrue,forgettingthattheremaybealternatives(可供選擇的事物).Asindicatedinthepicture,ifthemaniswillingtolookforotherpossibilities,hecanfindabetterandmorerewardingwaytoachievehisgoal.Allhehastodoistoturnaround,crossthebridgeandwalktothetree.(140)同學(xué)作文Inthepicture,thereisavalleybetweenthetwosteepmountains.Inthevalley,thereisariverbeatingthemountainfiercely.Onthemountainliesatreewithlotsofapples.Ontheothersidestandsaman,tryingtoreachtheappleswithaknottiedtoalongstickabovethevalley.Althoughhetrieshard,hecan’tgetoneapplebecausehedoesn’tfindabridgeacrossthevalley,whichleadstotheappletree.Ithinkwhatthispicturewantstoconveytousisthatweshouldfindthemostefficientandeasiestwaytotackletheproblems.Themaninthepicturetakesgreatpaininvainbecausehedoesn’tthinkofallthepossiblewaysorthesituationheisin.Inourdailylife,wemaymeetallkindsofproblemsandweshouldknowamongthenumerouswaysthereisalwaysasolutionthatismostefficientandeasiest.Aslongaswefindit,solvingtheproblemwillbecomeapieceofcake.Confronted(面對(duì))withchallenges,wearerequiredtouseourbraintothinkthoroughlybeforetakingactionratherthanconduct(實(shí)施,處理)thefirstideaappearinginourmind,whichmayenduptobethemostdifficultsolution.Choosingthemostefficientsolutioncanpreventusfromdoinginvain,whichcanalsosaveourvaluabletimeandenergy.(232)同學(xué)作文Asisvividlyshowninthepicture,themanissparingnoefforttoreachforthefruitsonthetreeacrosstheriverwithalongnet,neglectingabrid
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