英語短文-社交課堂：12步克服羞澀和社交焦慮癥

1、英語短文社交課堂：12步克服羞澀和社交焦慮癥Shynessandsocialanxietyareusuallytheresultofanoverlyexcitedamygdala(aportionofthebrainthatreceivesstimulationbasedonyoursurroundings).Individualswhoareshyorsociallyanxioustypicallyhaveanamygdalathatisextremelysensitive(inpartduetotheirgenetics,inpartduetothewaytheywereraised).害

2、羞和社交焦慮癥通常都是杏仁核過度興奮造成的現(xiàn)象，而杏仁核則是一種根據(jù)環(huán)境接收刺激的大腦組織。害羞或有社交焦慮癥的人，杏仁核一般都非常敏感這一方面跟基因有關(guān)，另一方面則歸因于他們的成長經(jīng)歷。Shyorsociallyanxiousindividualsperceiveunknownsituationsashighlythreatening.在害羞或社交焦慮的人看來，未知環(huán)境都是非常危險的。Thisfeelingofbeing“threatened”wouldbebeneficialifyouwerebeingchasedbyalion;causingyourmindtofocussolelyon

3、whatiscriticaltosaveyourlife.However,yourmind“goingblank”atadinnerpartyorwhenyourbosswalksinyourofficeisnotverybeneficial.當你被一頭獅子追捕時，這種警惕感會十分有利，能讓你一門心思想方設(shè)法逃命。但是，在宴會上或老板走進你辦公室時，如果你的大腦還是會“一片空白”，那就不好了。Sowiththat,let'sdiscuss12waystoovercomeshynessandsocialanxiety.所以，我們來看看下面這12個克服害羞和社交焦慮癥的方法吧。12Step

4、stoOvercomingShynessandSocialAnxiety12步克服羞澀和社交焦慮癥：1. RealityCheck認清事實Stepnumberoneistorecognizewhatistakingplacechemicallyinyourbrainwhenyou'refeelinganxiousorshy.第一步就是要弄清楚當你感到緊張或害羞時，大腦會發(fā)生怎樣的化學(xué)變化。Youarenotabnormal;yourbrainisjust“unusually”sensitivetonewstimuli,causingyoutoproceedwithextremecaut

5、ionusually“unnecessarycaution.”Justknowingthiswillhelpyourationalizewhat'sgoingonandwillhelprelaxyouinfuturesituations.你沒有“不正常”：只不過你的大腦對新刺激“格外”敏感罷了，以至于你表現(xiàn)得特別謹慎一般都是些“不必要的謹慎”。認識到這一點有助于你理性面對正在發(fā)生的事情，進而在以后環(huán)境中做到自如放松。Noneedtobecomeshyoranxious,justtellyourselfthatit'sjustsomechemicalsandcellsreacti

6、ngbasedonaperceivedthreatthat'snotreallythere-noneedtopanic(ignoretheracingheartandsweatypalms)-justcalmdownandproceedintelligently.沒必要害羞或焦慮，你只要告訴自己：這些不過是假想危險引發(fā)的化學(xué)與細胞反應(yīng)罷了。也沒必要驚慌，別去管那加速的心跳和冒汗的手心，嘗試鎮(zhèn)靜下來并機智應(yīng)對。2. Don'tPonderonNegativeThoughts不要陷入消極思維Whenyougiveapresentation-there'salwaysthre

7、epresentationsinvolved:There'sthepresentationyouplannedongiving,there'sthepresentationyouactuallygave,andthenthere'sthepresentationyouwishyougave.如果你要作報告，那么報告無非就三種形式：你正在發(fā)布的報告、你已經(jīng)發(fā)布的報告，以及你打算發(fā)布的報告。Whenyoufocusonwhatyoucouldhavedonebetter,whenyoufocusonthenegative,youcreateacycleofnegativit

8、y.Afteryouleaveameeting,oradinnerparty,orasocialgathering,don'tponderonhowyoucouldhavebeen“better.”Don'tthink,“WhydidIsaythat?”當你一味想著本可以做得更好時，當你只看到消極方面時，你就會形成消極循環(huán)模式。所以，會議、派對或集會結(jié)束后，請不要糾結(jié)自己本可以表現(xiàn)得“更出色”，也不要懊惱“剛才我干嘛要那樣說?”。Everyonesayssomethingfoolishfromtime-to-time,however,focusingonnegativitywi

9、llleadyoutobelievethatyouareapersonwhosaysthewrongthingsatsocialgatherings;thatbeliefwillmanifestitselfeverytime.Recognizethateveryonesayssomethingfoolishfromtime-to-time;don'tponder,moveon.每個人難免都會說些蠢話，如果你只看到消極面，漸漸就會真的以為自己在社交時只會說錯話;而且，這種想法每次都會應(yīng)驗。請記?。好總€人偶爾都會說些蠢話。所以，不要糾結(jié)，該干啥就干啥去吧。3. NoPressure不要有壓

10、力Don'tfeelpressuretobeinteresting,entertaining,stheortalkative.Justbeyournormal-naturalself.Itpressuretobelikesomeoneelsethatenhancessocialanxietyandshyness.不要為了表現(xiàn)得風(fēng)趣、討人喜歡或健談而感到緊張不安。做回你平常的樣子就行。模仿別人的壓力會加劇社交焦慮感和羞澀。Youhavesurvivedparticipatinginconversationsyourentirelife.Yournextconversationinagro

11、upisjustonemoreconversation-youarenotrequiredtobethelifeoftheparty.Justbeyourselfandspeakyourmindwhenyouhavesomethingtosay-andifyoudon'thaveanythingtosay-nopressure;“chillout”andhavefun.你這輩子一直就是在與人談話中成長過來的。接下來在小組中的發(fā)言實質(zhì)上也是談話而已你又不一定非得成為派對的活躍分子啊。你只要做好自己，有話就說、無話則沉默;不要緊張，放松點吧。4. Don'tAssume別去假想Do

12、n'tassumethatpeoplearejudgingyou.Mostpeopleareprimarilyconcernedaboutthemselvesandhowtheycomeacross;theydon'thavetimetobeconsumedbyyourbehavior.Rememberthis,ifyoudon'trememberanythingelseinthisarticle:Everyoneisawkwardattimes!別去假想其他人怎么看你。多數(shù)人通常只會考慮自身和自己的遭遇，沒人有時間來關(guān)心你如何如何。要是這篇文章沒能給你留下什么印象，那

13、么請記住這句話：有時每個人都很難相處!Whenhavingconversations,everysinglepersonatonetimeoranotherdoesorsayssomethingthat'salittleawkward.Don'tfeelthatawkwardsituationsorstrangesilencesareyourfaultalone.Don'ttakecreditforallthenegativesinaconversation.Awkwardthingswillhappen,therewillbesilences,that'sok

14、ay;it'sperfectlynormal,don'tthinkit'snotandkeeponbeingyourselfyourbestself.交談時，每個人間或都會說出難堪的話來。不要一廂情愿地以為是你造成了這種尷尬的處境或別扭的沉默。不要把談話的失敗全都怪罪到自己身上。尷尬時常發(fā)生，沉默也總是出現(xiàn)，沒什么大不了的;這很正常，不要少見多怪做好你自己就行啦。5. Don'tPanic-Pause不要慌張稍作停頓There'snoneedtopanicinsocialsituations.Ifsomeoneasksyouaquestion,justp

15、ause.Thinkaboutthequestionandthenansweritappropriately.Mostsociallyanxiousorshyindividualsreacttoquestions.Theyfeeltheneedtoansweraquestionimmediately,assoonasthefinalwordleavesthemouthoftheotherperson;theyfeelobligatedtostartspeakingnotnecessary.社交場合無需慌張。要是有人向你發(fā)問，那就先停頓一下，想清楚后再恰當回答對方。大部分社交焦慮或害羞的人總是立

16、刻回答問題。他們覺得只要對方話剛說完，就該作出回答;他們認為談話是一種“義務(wù)”其實完全沒必要這樣。Youneverwanttoreacttoaquestion;youalwayswanttorespond,afteryoupause.你不需要立即回應(yīng)提問，你只需在停頓之后回答提問。Whenyoudothis,youwillsoundmorethoughtful,moreinsightful,andyouwillhavegivenmoredeliberatethoughttowhatyou'reabouttosay.Youwillappeartohave“丄»“executiv

17、epresence.”當你這樣做時，你聽上去會更有想法和見解，你的想法會顯得更成熟、更具執(zhí)行力。Theneedtorespondrightawayshowsthatapersonisn'tcomfortablewithsilence.It'susuallytheleast“powerful”personinaconversationwhodoesn'twanttheretobesilence,butsilenceisokay.Itshowsthatyouarecomfortableinyourskin.立即回應(yīng)則顯得一個人不習(xí)慣沉默。通常，談話中最沒有氣場的人也最不習(xí)慣

18、沉默，其實沉默也沒什么。它說明你能夠做到悠然自若。Solearntopause,neverpanic!Gatheryourthoughts,avoidsaying“um”andanswerliketheintelligentpersonthatyouare.所以，學(xué)會停頓，不要慌張!整理好思緒，改掉“嗯啊”，像機智的人那樣去回答問題吧。6. BodyLanguage肢體語言Yourphysiologywilldetermineyourpsychology.你的生理能決定你的心理。Avoidhavingthebodylanguageofsomeonewhoisshyand/ortimid.Don

19、'thaunchoverandtrynottobeseen.不要染上害羞或膽怯的人的肢體語言。不要縮手縮腳躲起來。Standtall,shouldersback.Peoplewillbelievethebodylanguageyouportraymorethanthewordsyousay!Ifyoulooktimid,peoplewillbelieveyouaretimidandwilltreatyoulikeatimidperson.請挺直腰板。你的肢體語言遠比口頭言談更有信服力!如果你看上去就很羞怯，人們也會這么認為，接著就會把你當作羞怯的人對待。Tobeseenasaleade

20、r,walklikeapresident.Takeupspacelikeyou'reaking.Putyourfeetonthedesk,makelargehandgestures,standtall.Ifyoupossessthebodylanguageofaleader,peoplewillbegintotreatyoulikealeader.Theywillassumethatifyouhandleyourselflikeaking,ifyoudresslikeaking,youmusthavegoodreasonfordoingso.Peoplewillbelievetheim

21、ageyouportray!請像領(lǐng)導(dǎo)一樣出場，如總統(tǒng)一般大步流星。像國王那樣壓住氣場把腳擱在桌上、采用大氣的手勢、抬頭挺胸。如果你擁有領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的肢體語言，人們就會像對待領(lǐng)導(dǎo)那樣對你。他們會覺得，要是你穿得像個國王、舉止也像國王，那你肯定有兩下子。你所樹立的形象可以贏得人們的信任!7. BeTheFirstToInitiate成為第一個主動的人Don'twaitforotherstointroduceyou;youshouldinitiatetheintroduction.IrecentlysawU.S.PresidentBarackH.Obamaontelevision;hewaswalk

22、ingintoavotinglocationtocasthisballotforthe2012U.S.PresidentialElection.Iwatchedtoseehowhisdemeanordifferedfromothers.不要等別人來介紹你，你應(yīng)該先主動介紹自己。最近我在電視上看到美國總統(tǒng)巴拉克?奧巴馬：他向投票點走去，競選2012年的美國總統(tǒng)。我一直留意他的言行究竟如何與眾不同。Here'swhatstoodout:hewalkedconfidentlywithasmileonhisface,andhetooktimetointroducehimselftotheind

23、ividualsintheroom.That'sall,anditmadehimappeartobeverypresidential,veryconfidentinhimself.這個與眾不同就是：他面帶微笑地自信地走過去，然后開始向房間里的所有人介紹自己。就憑這樣，已經(jīng)使他顯得非常有總統(tǒng)范兒、對自己非常有信心了。Hecouldhavewalkedintherewithhisheadhelddown,assumingeveryoneknewwhohewas,likethesociallyanxious.Butinstead,heownedhisspace,heinitiatedcont

24、actandlookedverypowerfulintheprocess.本來他也可以低著頭走過去，心里猜測別人怎么看他，一副社交焦慮的樣子;但是，他壓住了氣場、主動開始了交流，整個過程都顯得很有震懾力。8. MoveSlow放慢動作One“surefire”waytoappearsociallyanxiousistomakelotsofsuddenmovements.Considerthelion,theliononlymoveswhenitisnecessary,allofitsmovementsaredeliberate.Thelionappearsconfident;thelionis

25、confident.顯得社交焦慮的一個“致命”方法就是一下子做太多動作。想想獅子吧，只會在必要時出動，而且每次出動都很慎重。獅子不僅看上去很自信，也確實很有信心。Nowimaginethechipmunk,chipmunksareconstantly“l(fā)ookingovertheirshoulder,”theymakelotsofsuddenmovements,alwaysonthewatch-alwaysappearingtobesupremelynervousandonguardagainstattackers.再想想花栗鼠總是東張西望、動來動去、張望不停，看上去似乎非常緊張，總在防備襲擊

26、者一樣。Slow,deliberatemovementswillnotonlymakeyouappearmoreconfident,itwillactuallycontributetoyourpersonalconfideneebanksoavoid“chipmunklike”behavior.緩慢而慎重的動作不僅使你看上去更自信，實際上也能真正提高你的自信力。所以，千萬不要有花栗鼠一樣的行為啊!9. TakeUpSpace壓住氣場Youmustlearntotakeupspace;powerfulpeopletakeuplotsofspace.Don'tholdyourarmsint

27、owardsyourbody-openthemup.Ifyou'reinameeting,spreadyourthingsout,usebodylanguagethatmakesyouappearlargerthanlife.Anxiouspeopleshrink;confidentpeopleexpandandshine.你必須學(xué)會壓住氣場;有氣度的人都很有氣場。不要兩臂交叉抱胸，放下來吧。如果你在開會，那就多分散自己的物品，用肢體語言來提高自己的形象。焦慮的人畏首畏尾;自信的人張揚而耀眼。Asyoupracticetakingupspaceyouwillappearmoreconf

28、identandincontrol.你在練習(xí)氣場時，會變得越來越自信，也越來越有掌控力。10. TheSecrettoSuccess成功秘訣Ifyouareasociallyanxiousorshyperson,youareprobablyveryfamiliarwiththatheartthumpingfeelingyougetwhenspeakinginfrontofacrowd.Theheartthumpingfeelingthatcausesyoutogetflusteredandforgetwhatyou'reabouttosay.Ifthisisyou,I'vewr

29、ittenthesenextfewlineswithyouinmind-becauseIwanttodocumentforyouhowyoucaneasilysucceedwhenthishappensnexttime.如果你是一個社交焦慮或害羞的人，可能會很熟悉那種當眾演講時心跳加劇的感覺，這種感覺使你心慌意亂，甚至忘了要說什么。如果你就是這樣的人，那下面的內(nèi)容就是為你而寫的因為我想向你證明，下次再遇到類似情況，你可以輕易取得成功。Asyouknow,whenyoupracticeyourpresentationinaroombyyourself,you'renotnervous;y

30、ou'reconfidentandpoised.However,whenyougetinfrontofagroupofstrangers,orevenyourpeers-theelementof:possiblysayingthewrongthing,orembarrassingyourselfcausesyourbodytobecomeuptightandyourhearttorace.你也知道，當一個人在房間里練習(xí)演說時，你不僅不緊張，甚至還沉著自信?？墒?，一旦你站到一群陌生人、甚至同行人面前時，不經(jīng)意說錯話或出丑就能讓你身體僵硬、心跳加快。Thekeytosolvingthisd

31、ilemmaisinhowyoupractice.Practicedoesn'tmakeperfect,butperfectpracticewillmakeyoudarngood.WhenIsayperfectpractice,I'mtalkingaboutrecreatingthesituationexactlyasitwillbewhenit'stimeforyoutopresent.Ifyourheartwillberacingwhenit'stimeforyoutopresent,anditwill.It'simportantthatyourhe

32、artisracingwhenyou'repracticing,thiswayyouwillbeaccustomedtothefeelingandbeabletohandleitconfidentlyandappropriately.解決這一窘境的關(guān)鍵就要看你是怎么練習(xí)的了。練習(xí)不一定總能達成目標，但“無懈可擊的練習(xí)”卻可以讓你表現(xiàn)出眾。所謂“無懈可擊的練習(xí)”，是指完全按照將要面對的情境進行準備。要是作報告時你會心跳加速，那么練習(xí)時也會。練習(xí)時心跳加速也很有意義，因為這樣你就能習(xí)慣這種緊張感，慢慢知道如何自信而恰當?shù)貞?yīng)對了。Sobeforeyoupracticethatnextbigs

33、peech,runupaflightofstairsafewtimes,orwalkupaflightofstairs;doafewdozenpush-ups.Anythingtogetyourheartracing,thenpracticeyourspeech.Repeatthisuntilyoucanconfidentlyandcalmlypresent,evenwhenyourheartisracing.所以在準備下次重要演講前，請嘗試多爬幾趟樓梯或做些俯臥撐，讓自己心跳加速起來，然后再練習(xí)演講。不斷重復(fù)，直到你能自信而鎮(zhèn)定地把報告做好哪怕當時心里仍在砰砰跳。Intime,yourhea

34、rtwillracelessandless-becauseyouwillknowthatthere'snothingtofear,butfearitself.最后，你會漸漸不再心跳加速因為你發(fā)現(xiàn)除了害怕本身，真的沒什么好害怕的。11.PrepareinAdvance,ButDon'tPractice提前準備，但不必練習(xí)Preparationisimportant.Ifyou'regoingtoaneventwhereyouhavetobesocial,itwon'thurttobrushuponthecurrenteventsintheworld:politically,socially,aswellasintheentertainmentindustry(ifappropriatefortheevent).準備很重要。如果在接下來的活動中你必須與人打交道，那不妨了解下當今政治、社會或娛樂界的時事話題吧。(如果跟活動有關(guān)