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讀后續(xù)寫2021年2017年06月浙江英語試卷讀后續(xù)寫(改編)ContinuationWriting
[話題:體育冒險題材:和朋友騎行游玩,野外遇到狼]Onabright,warmJulyafternoon,MacHollan,aprimaryschoolteacher,wascyclingfromhishometoAlaskawithhisfriends.Oneofhisfriendshadstoppedtomakeabicyclerepair,buttheyhadencouragedMactocarryon,andtheywouldcatchupwithhimsoon.AsMacpedaled(騎行)alongalone,hethoughtfondlyofhiswifeandtwoyoungdaughtersathome.Hehopedtoshowthemthisbeautifulplacesomeday.ThenMacheardquickandloudbreathingbehindhim.“Man,that’sabigdog!”hethought.Butwhenhelookedtotheside,hesawinstantlythatitwasn’tadogatall,butawolf,quicklycatchingupwithhim.Mac’sheartjumped.Hefoundouthiscanofhearspray.Withonehandonthebars,hefiredthesprayatthewolf.Abrightredcloudenvelopedtheanimal,andtoMac’srelief,itfellback,shakingitshead.Butaminutelater,itwasbyhissideagain.ThenitattackedthebackofMac’sbike,tearingopenhistenthag.Hefiredatthewolfasecondtime,andagain,itfellbackonlytoquicklyrestartthechase(追趕).
Macwaspedalinghardnow.Hewavedandyelledatpassingcarsbutwascarefulnottoshowdown.Hesawasteepuphillclimbbeforehim.Heknewthatoncehehitthehill,he’dbeeasycaughtupandthewolf’steethwouldbetearingintohisflesh.Atthismoment,PaulandBeekyweredrivingtheircarontheirwaytoAlaska.Theydidn’tthinkmuchofitwhentheysawtwocyclistsrepairingtheirbikeonthesideoftheroad.Abitlater,theyspottedwhatthey,too,assumedwasadogrunningalongsideamanonabike.Astheygotcloser,theyrealizedthatthedogwasawolf.Macheardalargevehiclebehindhim.Hepulledinfrontofitasthewolfwascatchingupfast,justadozenyardsawaynow.Paragraph1:
Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim._Paragraph2:
Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived._____________________________一、準確理解材料,理清人物事件
1.淺層信息理解首先要審題:⑴體裁:_______;⑵人稱:_______;⑶主體時態(tài):______________;⑷5Ws:who(______,_________________________);when(_______________________________);where(_____________________);what(_____________________);why(_______________)。記敘文第三人稱一般過去時Machisfriendsonabright,warmJulyafternoonfromhishometoAlaskatookatripandadventuredenjoyedthelifeI,thefamily(father,mother,thegirl)2.深層信息理解①理清故事的發(fā)展線索(How)paragraph(段落)及時間線索Behaviors(行為)Topic(段意)Para1(Onabright,warmJulyafternoon)wascycling,stoppedtomakeabicyclerepair,carryon,thoughtfondlyof,showthemthisbeautifulplaceMaehadtotravelalonebecausehisfriendshadstoppedtofixthebicycle.paragraph(段落)及時間線索Behaviors(行為)Topic(段意)Para2,3&4(Then,whenhelookedtotheside,Then)heardquickandloudbreathing,wasn’tadog,catchingupwith,firedthesprayat,enveloped,attacked,tearingopen,
firedat,restartthechase,pedalinghard,wavedandyelled,sawasteepMacwasbeingfollowedbyawolf.Fightingthewolf,hecouldn’tgetawayPara5(Atthismoment,Abitlater)drivingtheircar,spotted,realized,PaulandBeckyshowedupandMacwantedtoberescued.
②判斷細節(jié)描寫類型:心理活動□;動作□√;環(huán)境□;外貌性格□。體現(xiàn)準確詞:___________________________________________;過程:__________________________________________________;修辭:_____________________________;夸張:____________________________________________等,使故事緊張刺激。cycling,stopped,fired,attacked,hit,spottedfell,shaking;fellback,shaking;quicklyrestart;realizedthoughtfondlyofenveloped,tearinginto;waved,yelled③材料的語調:_________________;人物情感和性格:_________________________________________________。
3.整合本篇的情節(jié)和情感線索:__________________________________→_________________________________________→_____________________________→____________________________________________________________________________。peaceful,tensescared,helpful,desperate,hopeful,braveandcalm因為朋友路旁停下修車,Mae只能孤身前行兩次與狼搏擊,小勝,但狼依然緊追不放前有陡坡,后有追狼,Mac無計脫身Paul和Becky出現(xiàn),Mac獲救與否在此一舉,他的心情應該緊張到了一個極點二、分析續(xù)寫段首,確定續(xù)寫方向
根據段首句1:汽車突然停在他前面及時間線索詞abruptly,結合文章第五段Atthismoment,PaulandBeekyweredrivingtheircarontheirwaytoAlaska續(xù)寫的伏筆,我們設問:①Whichwordsorphrasescatchyoureyes?(car,stopped)②__________________________________?③____________________________________?④_________________________?⑤________________________?⑥___________________________________________?HowwillPaulandBeckyinthecarreactDidtheygetouttohelporclosethedoorInwhatwaydidtheyofferhelpWasMacrescuedatlastHowdidMacfeel,panic,afraid,braveorexcited根據段首句2:Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived(幾分鐘后,另外兩個騎自行車的人到了)及時間線索詞Afewminuteslater,結合文章第五段Theydidn’tthinkmuchofitwhentheysawtwocyclistsrepairingtheirbikeonthesideoftheroad…Astheygotcloser,theyrealizedthatthedogwasawolf.續(xù)寫的伏筆,我們設問:①Whichwordsorphrasescatchyoureyes?(theothertwocyclistsarrived)②_____________________________________________________________________?③_________________________________?④_________________________________?⑤____________________________________________________________________?Whoarethey,Mac’sfriendsorsomeotherstrangersAftertheirarrival,howdidtheyreactWeretheygratefultothelifesaversHowcouldParagraph2beendedreasonablyandcreatively三、借助文本資源,創(chuàng)設續(xù)寫情節(jié)根據六要素和自己的想象,借助文本資源,創(chuàng)設續(xù)寫兩段故事的情節(jié)。Paragraph1:[故事開端]汽車突然停在他前面。[發(fā)展]_______________________________→________________________→________________________→________________________。
Mac跳下自行車,沖向車的后門狼的牙齒馬上撕咬他的肉狼不停地咆哮,拍打窗戶Mac上車,關上門Paragraph2:[高潮]_________________________________→_________________________________→___________________________________。[結局]_______________________________________。[感悟]___________________________。另外兩個騎自行車的人也來了得知Mac之事,給了他一個擁抱PaulandBecky開車送他們到阿拉斯加失望的狼最終消失在樹林里經歷讓Mac明白了生命的珍貴四、增加細節(jié)描寫,完成讀后續(xù)寫
將已確定好的六要素加以串聯(lián),增加細節(jié)描寫,完成續(xù)寫初稿。
第一段:
⑴“快點,上車!”保羅喊道?!癈omeon,___________quickly!”Paul______.⑵麥克毫不猶豫地跳下自行車,麥克沖到汽車的后門。____________________,Mac__________hisbicycle__________tothebackdoorofthecar.getinthecaryelledWithoutanyhesitationjumpedoffanddashed⑶門是鎖著的!Thedoor__________!⑷想到狼血淋淋的嘴巴,麥克嚇得幾乎要死了。WhenMac_________thewolf’sbloodymouth,he______________withhorror.⑸他甚至可以想象狼的牙齒在咬他的肉。Hecouldevenimaginethewolf’steeth__________________.⑹貝基打開了門。Thedoor_____________byBecky.waslockedthoughtofwasnearlydeadtearingintohisfleshwasunlocked⑺那個受了驚嚇的人沖了進去,在狼來襲擊他之前他把門關上。Thefrightenedman______________thedoorjust______thewolfstruckhim.⑻狼非常生氣,不停地咆哮,猛烈地拍打著窗戶。Thewolf_______________itkeptroaringandsmackingthewindowviolently.divedinandshutbeforewassoangrythat⑼失望的狼意識到他所做的一切都是徒勞的,它消失在森林里。Whenthedisappointedwolf________________________wasinvain,it______________thewoods.⑽麥克坐在車里,他的心仍因恐懼而狂跳不止。Macsatinthecar,andhisheart______________________withfear.realizedwhateverhediddisappearedintowasstillbeatingwildly
第二段:
⑾他們震驚地發(fā)現(xiàn)麥克的自行車躺在路上。They__________________Mac’sbicyclelyingontheroad.⑿他的帳篷袋破了,麥克就像一只淹死的老鼠。Histentbag_________andMacwasjust___________________.weretornlikeadrownedmousewereshockedtofind⒀“麥克,到底發(fā)生了什么事?”麥克的朋友們問道。
“Mac,what__________________?”Mac’sfriendsasked.⒁“我差點被狼咬死!”“I_______________byawolf!”⒂他們被告知麥克的驚心動魄的經歷。
TheyweretoldaboutMac’s___________________.⒃他們忍不住喊叫起來,給了他一個擁抱。They_________________outand______________.onearthhashappenedwasalmostkilledthrillingexperiencecouldn’thelpcryinggavehimahug⒄在麥克覺得好些了后,他們感謝保羅和貝基。AfterMacfeltbetterafewminuteslater,they_____________PaulandBecky.⒅保羅和貝基擔心前面可能會有更多的潛在危險,于是提出開車送他們去阿拉斯加。Becausetheyareafraidthat________________________________ahead,PaulandBeckyofferedtodrivethemtoAlaska.weregratefultotheremightbemorepotentialdangers⒆這次可怕而又激動人心的經歷讓麥克認識到生命的珍貴。ThishorribleandexcitingexperiencemadeMac________________________.五、潤色文字,升級句式
初稿完成后,用過渡詞句、高級詞匯和句式升級,烘托場景,可增加得分點。
①用分詞作伴隨狀語改寫句⑵,用轉折連詞but與句⑶合并。Withoutanyhesitation,Macjumpedoffhisbicycle,_____________________ofthecar,but___________!learnhowpreciouslifeisdashingtothebackdooritwaslocked②用分詞改寫句⑷。
___________thewolf’sbloodymouth,Macwasnearlydeadwithfright.③用分詞作伴隨狀語改寫句⑺,再用and合并句⑹和句⑺。ThedoorwasunlockedbyBecky______thefrightenedmandivedin,_______________________________thewolfstruckonhim.④用倒裝句改寫句⑻。
______________________itkeptroaringandsmackingthewindowviolently.ThinkingofandshuttingthedoorjustbeforeSoangrywasthewolfthat⑤用分詞作時間狀語改寫句⑼
___________wasinvain,___________________disappearedintothewoods.⑥用獨立主格結構改寫句⑿和句⑾合并。
TheywereshockedtofindMac’sbicyclelyingontheroad,_____________andMacjustlikeadrownedmouse.⑦用過去分詞改寫句⒂,再和句⒃合并。
_________aboutMac’sthrillingexperience,_________________________________himahug.ThinkingofthedisappointedwolfhistentbagtornWhentoldtheycouldn’thelpcryingoutandgave⑧用形容詞短語作狀語改寫句⒅。
__________theremightbemorepotentialdangersahead,PaulandBeckyofferedtodrivethemtoAlaska.六、檢查定稿,規(guī)范謄寫
請根據上述組句和改寫句,添加恰當?shù)倪^渡詞語(justatthatmoment,afterquiteawhile,eventually等),修訂表達成文。AfraidthatParagraph1:
Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.“Comeon,getinthecarquickly!”Paulyelled.①Withoutanyhesitation,Macjumped
offhisbicycle,dashingtothebackdoorofthecar,butitwaslocked!Thinkingofthewolf’sbloodymouth,Macwasnearlydeadwithhorror.Hecouldevenimaginethewolf’steethtearingintohisflesh.②Justatthatmoment,thedoorwasunlockedbyBeckyandthefrightenedmandivedin,shuttingthedoorjustbeforethewolfstruckhim.③Soangrywasthewolfthatitkeptroaringandsmackingthewindowviolently.Afterquiteawhile,④realizingwhateverhedidwasinvain,thedisappointedwolfdisappearedintothewoodseventually.Macsatinthecar,⑤hisheartstillbeatingwildlywithfear
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