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1、The Hidden Side of Happiness1、Hurricanes, house fires, cancer, white-water rafting accidents, plane crashes, vicious attacks in dark alleyways. Nobody asks for any of it. But to their surprise, many people find that enduring such a harrowing ordeal ultimately changes them for the better. Their refra

2、in might go something like this: I wish it hadnt happened, but Im a better person for it.颶風、房屋失火、癌癥、激流漂筏失事、墜機、昏暗小巷遭歹徒襲擊,沒人想找上這些事兒。但出人意料的是,很多人發(fā)現(xiàn)遭受這樣一次痛苦的磨難最終會使他們向好的方面轉變。他們可能都會這樣說:“我希望這事沒發(fā)生,但因為它我變得更完美了?!?、We love to hear the stories of people who have been transformed by their tribulations, perhaps be

3、cause they testify to a bona fide psychological truth, one that sometimes gets lost amid endless reports of disaster: There is a built-in human capacity to flourish under the most difficult circumstances. Positive reactions to profoundly disturbing experiences are not limited to the toughest or the

4、bravest. In fact, roughly half the people who struggle with adversity say that their lives have in some ways improved.我們都愛聽人們經歷苦難后發(fā)生轉變的故事,可能是因為這些故事證實了一條真正的心理學上的真理,這條真理有時會湮沒在無數(shù)關于災難的報道中:在最困難的境況中,人所具有的一種內在的奮發(fā)向上的能力會進發(fā)出來。對那些令人極度恐慌的經歷作出 積極回應的并不僅限于最堅強或最勇敢的人。實際上,大約半數(shù)與逆境抗爭過的人都說他們的生活從此在某些方面有了改善。3、This and oth

5、er promising findings about the life-changing effects of crises are the province of the new science of post-traumatic growth. This fledgling field has already proved the truth of what once passed as bromide: What doesnt kill you can actually make you stronger. Post-traumatic stress is far from the o

6、nly possible outcome. In the wake of even the most terrifying experiences, only a small proportion of adults become chronically troubled. More commonly, people reboundor even eventually thrive.諸如此類有關危機改變一生的發(fā)現(xiàn)有著可觀的研究前景,這正是創(chuàng)傷后成長這一新學科的研究領域。這一新興領域已經證實了曾經被視為陳詞濫調的一個真理:大難不死,意志彌堅。創(chuàng)傷后壓力絕不是唯一可能的結果。在遭遇了即使最可怕的經

7、歷之后,也只有一小部分成年人會受到長期的心理折磨。更常見的情況是,人們會恢復過來甚至最終會成功發(fā)達。4、Those who weather adversity well are living proof of one of the paradoxes of happiness: We need more than pleasure to live the best possible life. Our contemporary quest for happiness has shriveled to a hunt for blissa life protected from bad feeli

8、ngs, free from pain and confusion.那些經受住苦難打擊的人是有關幸福悖論的生動例證:為了盡可能地過上最好的生活,我們所需要的不僅僅是愉悅的感受。我們這個時代的人對幸福的追求已經縮小到只追求福氣:一生沒有煩惱,沒有痛苦和困惑。5、This anodyne definition of well-being leaves out the better half of the story, the rich, full joy that comes from a meaningful life. It is the dark matter of happiness, t

9、he ineffable quality we admire in wise men and women and aspire to cultivate in our own lives. It turns out that some of the people who have suffered the most, who have been forced to contend with shocks they never anticipated and to rethink the meaning of their lives, may have the most to tell us a

10、bout that profound and intensely fulfilling journey that philosophers used to call the search for the good life.這種對幸福的平淡定義忽略了問題的主要方面種富有意義的生活所帶來的那種豐富、完整的愉悅。那就是幸福背后隱藏的那種本質是我們在明智的男男女女身上所欣賞到并渴望在我們自己生活中培育的那種不可言喻的品質。事實證明,一些遭受苦難最多的人-他們被迫全力應付他們未曾預料到的打擊,并重新思考他們生活的意義或許對那種深刻的、給人以強烈滿足感的人生經歷(哲學家們過去稱之為對“美好生活”的探尋)

11、最有發(fā)言權。6、This broader definition of good living blends deep satisfaction and a profound connection to others through empathy. It is dominated by happy feelings but seasoned also with nostalgia and regret. Happiness is only one among many values in human life, contends Laura King, a psychologist at th

12、e University of Missouri in Columbia. Compassion, wisdom, altruism, insight, creativitysometimes only the trials of adversity can foster these qualities, because sometimes only drastic situations can force us to take on the painful process of change. To live a full human life, a tranquil, carefree e

13、xistence is not enough. We also need to growand sometimes growing hurts.這種對美好生活的更為廣泛的定義把深深的滿足感和一種通過移情與他人建立的深切聯(lián)系融合在一起。它主要受愉悅情感的支配,但同時也夾雜著惆悵和悔恨。密蘇里大學哥倫比亞分校的心理學家勞拉金認為:“幸福僅僅是許許多多人生價值中的一種?!贝缺⒅腔?、無私、.洞察力及創(chuàng)造力有時只有經歷逆境的考驗才能培育這些品質,因為有時只有極端的情形才能迫使我們去承受痛苦的改變過程。只過安寧的、無憂無慮的生活是不足以體驗一段完整的人生的。(此文來自袁勇兵博客)我們也需要成長-盡管有時

14、成長是痛苦的。7、 In a dark room in Queens, New York, 31-year-old fashion designer Tracy Cyr believed she was dying. A few months before, she had stopped taking the powerful immune-suppressing drugs that kept her arthritis in check. She never anticipated what would happen: a withdrawal reaction that eventua

15、lly left her in total body agony and neurological meltdown. The slightest movementtrying to swallow, for examplewas excruciating. Even the pressure of her cheek on the pillow was almost unbearable.在紐約市皇后區(qū)一間漆黑的房間里,31歲的時裝設計師特蕾西塞爾感到自己奄奄一息。就在幾個月前,她已經停止服用控制她關節(jié)炎的強效免疫抑制藥。她從沒預見到接下來將要發(fā)生的事:停藥之后的反應最終使她全身劇烈疼痛,神

16、經系統(tǒng)出現(xiàn)嚴重問題。最輕微的動作比如說試著吞咽對她來說也痛苦不堪。甚至將臉壓在枕頭上也幾乎難以忍受。8、Cyr is no wimpdiagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 2, shed endured the symptoms and the treatments (drugs, surgery) her whole life. But this time, she was way past her limits, and nothing her doctors did seemed to help. Either

17、 the disease was going to kill her or, pretty soon, shed have to kill herself.塞爾并不是懦弱的人。她在兩歲時就被診斷得了幼年型類風濕性關節(jié)炎,一生都在忍 受著病癥和治療(藥物、手術)的折磨。但是這一次,她實在不堪忍受了,她的醫(yī)生所做的一切似乎都不起作用。要么讓疾病結束她的生命,要么她就得很快了結自己的生命了。9、As her sleepless nights wore on, though, her suicidal thoughts began to be interrupted by new feelings o

18、f gratitude. She was still in agony, but a new consciousness grew stronger each night: an awesome sense of liberation, combined with an all-encompassing feeling of sympathy and compassion. I felt stripped of everything Id ever identified myself with, she said six months later. Everything I thought I

19、d known or believed in was uselesstime, money, self-image, perceptions. Recognizing that was so freeing.然而,在經歷了若干個不眠之夜后,她想自殺的念頭開始被新的感激之情所打斷。雖然她仍然感到痛苦,但一種新的意識每一夜都變得更加強烈:一種令人驚嘆的解脫感,結合著一種包容一切的同情和憐憫的情感。“我感到一切我曾經用來認同自己身份的東西都被剝奪了,”六個月后她這樣說道,“一切我認為我知道或相信的事物時間、金錢、自我形象、對事物的看法都毫無價值了。意識到這一點真是讓我感到解脫。”10、Within

20、a few months, she began to be able to move more freely, thanks to a cocktail of steroids and other drugs. she says theres no question that her life is better now. I felt I had been shown the secret of life and why were here: to be happy and to nurture other life. Its that simple.在幾個月內,得益于類固醇加其他藥物的雞尾

21、酒療法,她開始能夠更加自如地活動了。她說,毫無疑問她現(xiàn)在的生活狀況有了好轉?!拔腋杏X我窺探到了生命的秘密以及我們生存的意義,那就是快樂地生活,同時扶持他人。就這么簡單!”11、Her mind-blowing experience came as a total surprise. But that feeling of transformation is in some ways typical, says Rich Tedeschi, a professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina in Charlotte who

22、 coined the term post-traumatic growth. His studies of people who have endured extreme events like combat, violent crime or sudden serious illness show that most feel dazed and anxious in the immediate aftermath. They are preoccupied with the idea that their lives have been shattered. A few are haun

23、ted long afterward by memory problems, sleep trouble and similar symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. But Tedeschi and others have found that for many peopleperhaps even the majoritylife ultimately becomes richer and more gratifying.她這種不可思議的經歷完全是個驚喜。但是北卡羅來納大學夏洛特分校心理學教授里奇特德斯基認為,這種轉變的感覺從某些方面看卻是

24、很典型的。里奇特德斯基教授首創(chuàng)了“創(chuàng)傷后成長”一詞。他對那些經歷了諸如搏斗、暴力犯罪、突患重病等極端事件的人群進行了研究,這些研究表明,在剛經歷不幸后大多數(shù)人隨即都會感到茫然和焦慮。他們一心想的就是,自己的生活完全被毀了。有少部分人事后很久了還不斷被記憶問題、失眠以及類似的創(chuàng)傷后應激障礙所折磨。但特德斯基和其他學者發(fā)現(xiàn),對很多人(可能甚至是絕大多數(shù)人)來說,生活最終會變得更加豐富和更加令人滿足。12、something similar happens to many people who experience a terrifying physical threat. In that mome

25、nt, our sense of invulnerability is pierced, and the self-protective mental armor that normally stands between us and our perceptions of the world is torn away. Our everyday life scriptsour habits, self-perceptions and assumptionsgo out the window, and were left with a raw experience of the world.許多

26、經歷過恐怖的人身威脅的人會遇到類似的情況。在事情發(fā)生的那一瞬間,我們的安全感被沖破了,平時處于我們與我們對世界的種種看法之間的自我保護的精神盔甲被剝離了。我們的日常生活軌跡(我們的習慣、自我認識和主觀意念)全部被拋到九霄云外,只剩下對世界的原始體驗。13、Still, actually implementing these changes, as well as fully coming to terms with the new reality, usually takes conscious effort. Being willing and able to take on this pr

27、ocess is one of the major differences between those who grow through adversity and those who are destroyed by it.the people who find value in adversity arent the toughest or the most rational. Instead, they tend to be ordinaryneither the best- nor the worst-adjusted. What makes them different is tha

28、t they are able to incorporate what happened into the story of their own life. 盡管如此,要實際實現(xiàn)這些轉變并完全接受新的現(xiàn)實,通常需要有意識地付出努力。是否愿意并有能力承擔這個過程,就是那些在災難中成長和那些被災難所摧毀的人之間主要的區(qū)別之一。認為災難有價值的人并不是最堅強或最理性的人。使他們與眾不同的是他們能夠將所遭遇的事融入他們自己的人生歷程中?!?4、Eventually, they may find themselves freed in ways they never imagined. Survivor

29、s often say they become more tolerant and forgiving of others, capable of bringing peace to formerly troubled relationships. They say that material ambitions suddenly seem silly and the pleasures of friends and family paramountand that the crisis allowed them to reorganize life in line with the new

30、priorities.最終,他們可能會發(fā)現(xiàn)自己以從未想到過的方式獲得了解脫。幸存者往往說他們變得更加寬容,也更能原諒別人,能夠緩和原本糟糕的關系。他們說物質追求突然間變得很無聊,而朋友和家庭帶來的快樂變得極為重要,他們還說危機使他們能夠按照這些新的優(yōu)先之事來重新認識生活。15 、People who have grown from adversity often feel much less fear, despite the frightening things theyve been through. They are surprised by their own strength, co

31、nfident that they can handle whatever else life throws at them. People dont say that what they went through was wonderful, says Tedeschi. They werent meaning to grow from it. They were just trying to survive. But in retrospect, what they gained was more than they ever anticipated.從災難中成長起來的人盡管經歷過恐怖的事

32、情,但他們的恐懼感往往大為減少。他們對自己的力量感到吃驚,相信不管今后生活中將要遭遇什么,他們都能應付。特德斯基說:“人們不會說他們所經歷的是美好的。他們并不是特意要通過這樣的經歷來成長。他們只是盡其所能生存下來。但回顧起來,他們的收獲遠遠大于他們所預料的。16、In his recent book Satisfaction,Emory University Gregory Berns points to extreme endurance athletes who push themselves to their physical limits for days at a time. The

33、y cycle through the same sequence of sensations as do trauma survivors: self-loss, confusion and, finally, a new sense of mastery. For ultramarathoners, who regularly run 100-mile races that last more than 24 hours, vomiting and hallucinating are normal. After a day and night of running without stop

34、ping or sleeping, competitors sometimes forget who they are and what theyre doing.埃默里大學精神病學家格列高利伯思斯在他的近作滿足中指出,極限耐力運動員每次訓練都要使自己的身體連續(xù)數(shù)天處于極限狀態(tài)。他們和經歷創(chuàng)傷的幸存者所經歷的感覺過程一樣:自我失落,困惑,最后獲得一種新的駕馭感。對于經常跑超過24小時的l00英里比賽的超級馬拉松運動員來說,嘔吐和產生幻覺是常事。在一晝夜不停歇不睡覺地跑步之后,競賽者有時會忘了自己是誰,忘了自己在干什么。17、For a more common example of growth

35、 through adversity, look to one of lifes biggest challenges: parenting. Having a baby has been shown to decrease levels of happiness. The sleep deprivation and the necessity of putting aside personal pleasures in order to care for an infant mean that people with newborns are more likely to be depressed and

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