牛津書蟲系列之三四級(jí)-三怪客泛舟記

牛津書蟲系列之三四級(jí)——三怪客泛舟記簡(jiǎn)介這本書不是一本不朽的游記：講的既不是橫渡大洋的危險(xiǎn)航行，又不是沿著亞馬孫河的漂流探險(xiǎn)，只不過是次小小的旅行，乘著一只小小的船。但是不管怎么說也算是次經(jīng)歷吧，是你、我，或者隨便是誰都會(huì)遇到的……返航之后，我們便會(huì)講起有趣的故事……誰是這次旅行的主人公呢？有喬治，哈里斯和“杰”，(當(dāng)然還有“元帥”，它是一只狗方不論在什么地方，什么時(shí)候都能遇到這樣的三個(gè)年輕人。他們掉進(jìn)水里，把東西弄丟，吵架，又笑著和好，互相講故事……他們個(gè)個(gè)有遠(yuǎn)大的抱負(fù)，熱情也很高，可就是到了早上誰也起不來。他們都想當(dāng)偉大的探險(xiǎn)家，可事實(shí)上，只要一下雨，他們還是愿意呆在暖和的火爐邊，坐在舒適的椅子里。那我們的主人公在河上的經(jīng)歷到底怎么樣?。克麄儗W(xué)會(huì)在篝火上煎雞蛋了嗎？學(xué)會(huì)不用啟罐器就把罐頭打開了嗎？這就是他們的故事，三個(gè)怪客和一只狗在河上泛舟的故事。杰羅姆X?杰羅姆(1895—1927),寫過許多著名小說和劇本。他非常喜歡劃船，也喜歡泰晤士河。他這本最著名和幽默的小說《三怪客泛舟記》講的就是他和朋友們的親身經(jīng)歷。WedecidetogoonholidayTherewerefourofus-George，andWilliamSamuelHarris，andmyself，andMontmorency.Weweresit-tinginmyroom,andweweresmokingandtalkingabouthowbadwewere-ill,Imean,ofcourse.Wewereallfeelinginpoorhealth,andweweregettingquiteworriedaboutit.Harrissaidthathefeltreallybadsometimes,andhedidnotknowwhathewasdoing.AndthenGeorgesaidthathefeltbad,too,andthathedidnotknowwhathewasdo-ingeither.Withmeitwasmyheart.IknewitwasmyheartbecauseIhadreadsomethinginamagazineaboutthesymp-tomsofabadheart.Ihadallofthem.Itisamostextraordinarything,buteverytimeIreadaboutanillness,IrealizethatIhaveittoo-andthatmysymptomsareverybad!Infactmyhealthhasalwaysbeenaworry,Iremember…OnedayIhadalittlehealthproblem,andIwenttotheBritishMuseumLibrarytoreadaboutit.Itookthebookoffthelibraryshelf,andIbegantoread.Aftersometime,IturnedoverthepageandIbegantoreadaboutanother川ness.Idon'trememberthenameoftheillness,butIknowitwassomethingreallyterrible.IreadabouthalfaandthenIknewthatIhadthatdiseasetoo.Isatthereforatime,coldwithhorror.Slowly,Ibeqantoturnovermorepages.Icametoadiseasewhichwasworsethanthelastone.Ibegantoreadaboutitand,asIexpected,Ihadthatdiseasetoo.ThenIbegantogetreallyinterestedinmyself,sowentbacktothebeginningofthebook.Istartedwiththeletter'a'andIreadfrom'a'to'z'.1foundthattherewasonlyonediseasewhichIdidnothave.Thismademealittleunhappy.Whydidn'tIhavethatdiseasetoo?WhenIwalkedintothatreading-room,Iwasahappy,healthyyoungman.WhenIleftIwasaverysickman,closetodeath…ButIwastalkingaboutmyheart-nobodyunderstoodhowillIreallywas.IhadthisbadheartwhenIwasaboy.Itwaswithmeallthetime.IknewthatitwasmyheartbecauseIhadallthesymptomsofabadheart.ThemainsymptomwasthatIdidnotwanttowork.Ofcourse,nobodyunderstoodthattheproblemwasmyheart.Doctorswerenotsocleverthen.TheyjustthoughtthatIwaslazy!'Why,youlazyboy,you,'theyusedtosay.'Getupanddosomeworkforonceinyourlife!'theydidnotunderstandthatIwasill.Andtheydidnotgivememedicineforthisillness-theyhitmeonthesideofthehead.Itisverystrange,butthoseblowsonmyheadoftenmadetheillnessgoawayforatime.Sometimesjustoneblowmadethesicknessdisappearandmademewanttostartworkimmediately.一Anyway,thatevening,GeorgeandWilliamHarrisandIsatthereforhalfanhour,anddescribedourillnessestoeachother.IexplainedtoGeorgeandWilliamHarrishowIfeltwhenIgotupinthemorning.WilliamHarristoldushowhefeltwhenhewenttobed.ThenGeorgestoodinfrontofthefire,and,withgreatfeeling,heshowedushowhefeltinthenight.Georgealwaysthinksheis川,butreally,thereisneverany-thingthematterwithhim,youknow.AtthatmonentMrsPoppets,myhousekeeper,knockedonthedoor.Shewantedtoknowifwewerereadytohavesupper.Wesmiledsadlyateachother,andthenwesaidthatperhapsweshouldtrytoeatsomething.Harrissaidthatalittlefoodhelpedtopreventillness.SoMrsPoppetsbroughtthesupperin.Wesatdownatthetable,andforhalfanhourwemanagedtoplaywithsomesteakandchips-andwithalargecakethatMrsPoppetshadmade.Whenwehadmadeourselveseatsomething,wefilledourglasses,andwelitourpipes.Thenwebegantotalkaboutourhealthagain.Wewerenotquitesurewhatwasthematterwithus.However,wewereallquitecertainofonething-wehadbeendoingtoomuchwork.'Weneedarest,'Harrissaid.'Arestandachange,'Georgeadded.IagreedwithGeorge,andIsaidthatperhapswecouldgotothecountry.Wecouldfindanice,quietplaceandwecouldsitinthewarmsummersun.Wecouldgosomewherepeaceful,farawayfromotherpeople.Harrissaidthathethoughtthatwouldbeawful.Headdedthathehadbeentoaplacelikethatonce.Everyonewenttobedateighto'clock,andhehadtowalkforanhourtobuycigarettesandanewspaper.'No,'Harrissaid.'Ifyouwantarestandachange,thentheseaisbest.'Isaidthatthiswasaterribleidea.Aseatripisfineifyouaregoingforamonthortwo-butnotforaweek.Iknowwhatitislike...YoustartoutonMondayandyouthinkthatyouaregoingtoenjoyyourself.Youwavegoodbyehappilytoyourfriends.Youwalkupanddownontheship,likeCaptainCook,SirFrancisDrakeorChristopherColumbus.OnTuesdayyouwishthatyouhadnotcome.OnWednesday,ThursdayandFridayyouwishthatyouweredead.OnSaturdayyouareabletodrinksomething.Youbegintosmilealittleatthekindpeoplewhoaskyouhowyouare.OnSundayyoustarttowalkagain,andyoueatalittleAndonMondaymorning,asyoustandandwaittogetofftheship-youbegintoenjoyyourself.IrememberthatafriendofmineoncetookashortseatripfromLondontoLiverpoolforhishealth.Heboughtareturnticket,but,whenhegottoLiverpool,hesolditandhecamebackbytrain…SoIwasagainsttheseatrip-notformyself,youunderstand.Iamneverseasick.ButIwasafraidforGeorge.Georgesaidhewouldbefine.Infact,hesaidhewouldquitelikeit,buthethoughtthatHarrisandIwouldbothbe川Harrissaidhewasneverseasick.Infact,hehadoftentriedtobe川，buthehadnotsucceeded.Itisverystrange,but,whenyouareonland,younevermeetanybodywhohaseverbeenseasick!SoGeorgesaid,'Well,let'sgouptheriver,then.'Headded,'We'llhavefreshairontheriver.Thehardworkontheboatwillmakeushungry,sowe'llenjoyourfood.We'llsleepwell,too.'Harrisreplied,'Well,youneverhaveanytroublesleeping,anyway.Infact,you'realwaysgoingtosleep!'But,intheend,Harrisagreedthatitwasagoodidea.Ithoughtthatitwasagoodidea,too.TheonlyonewhodidnotliketheideawasMontmorency.'It'sdifferentforme,'hisfacesaid.'Youlikeit,butIdon't!There'snothingformetodo.Idon'tsmoke.Idon'tlikelookingatthetreesandtheflowers,andwhenI'masleepyou'llplayaboutwiththeboatandI'llfallovertheside!!Montmorency'sideaofagoodtimeistocollecttogetherallthemostawfuldogshecanfindandthengoroundthetown,lookingforotherawfuldogstofight.Butwewerethreetoone,sowedecidedtogoanyway.1決定去渡假我們一伙是四個(gè)——喬治，威廉?塞繆爾?哈里斯，我，還有“元帥”。那天，大伙兒坐在我的房間里，抽煙、聊天，談到我們的近況有多糟糕——當(dāng)然我指的是病得多糟糕。大家都感到渾身不舒服，心里直發(fā)慌。哈里斯說他常常覺得十分難受，不知道自己在干些什么。喬治說，他也經(jīng)常發(fā)昏，不知道自己在干什么。至于我，是心臟病，因?yàn)槲以谝槐倦s志上看到過心臟有病的癥狀，我全都有。說來真怪，每次看到有關(guān)各種疾病的情況，我就意識(shí)到自己也有——而且還病得很重。坦率地說，我的身體一直令人擔(dān)心。我還記得……有一次我有點(diǎn)小毛病，就去了大英博物館查查醫(yī)書。我從架子上拿下書，翻起來。不一會(huì)兒，翻到第二頁，又看到另一種病。我記不清叫什么名字，但我知道是種極其兇險(xiǎn)的不治之癥。半頁還沒看完，我斷定自己也得了這種病。我坐在那兒，害怕得一陣陣發(fā)冷。接著又慢慢翻了幾頁，看到比前一個(gè)更可怕的病。讀了癥狀，不出所料，我也有這個(gè)病。于是我開始對(duì)自己可能有的病感興趣了，便翻到開頭，從字母匕”一直查到“z”，發(fā)現(xiàn)只有一種病我沒有，心中還多少有點(diǎn)傷心，我怎么沒把那個(gè)病也得了呢？進(jìn)閱覽室的時(shí)候我還是快樂而健康的年輕人，可爬出來的時(shí)候已經(jīng)是病魔纏身，離死神不遠(yuǎn)了。回頭再說說我的心臟——沒人知道我病得有多重。小時(shí)候，心臟就不好，這么多年來，這病一直沒有離身。是心臟有病，肯定沒錯(cuò)，因?yàn)樗胁“Y我都有，主要一條是不愿意干活。當(dāng)然，他們都不知道這是心臟有病的原因。那時(shí)候醫(yī)生也不大高明。在他們看來，我得了懶病?！昂撸∧氵@個(gè)懶家伙，”他們常這么說?！翱炱饋恚∧憔筒荒芨牲c(diǎn)正經(jīng)活？！"他們哪里明白我有病?。∵€有，他們不給我吃藥，還敲我腦袋。說也奇怪，敲幾下的確管用，病就好一會(huì)兒，有時(shí)敲一下，病就沒了，我急著逃開去干我的活。書歸正傳，那天晚上我們?cè)谖堇镒税雮€(gè)小時(shí)，彼此訴說患病的痛楚。我對(duì)喬治和哈里斯講早晨起床時(shí)有多么難受；哈里斯告訴我們他睡覺時(shí)有多么難受；而喬治站在火爐邊，滔滔不絕地說著他晚上有多么難受。喬治總以為自己有病，可你知道，其實(shí)根本沒有那回事。這時(shí)候，管家波貝絲太太敲了敲門，問我們是不是準(zhǔn)備吃晚飯。我們彼此苦笑了一下，說沒辦法，勉強(qiáng)吃點(diǎn)什么吧。哈里斯說吃點(diǎn)東西可以抵抗疾病。波貝絲太太把飯端進(jìn)來，我們坐在桌邊，足足有半個(gè)小時(shí)，把牛排，薯?xiàng)l擺弄來，擺弄去，盯著波貝絲太太做的蛋糕看了又看。好不容易強(qiáng)迫自己吃了點(diǎn)什么，我們又斟滿了酒，點(diǎn)上煙斗，繼續(xù)討論我們的健康問題。到底得了什么病，我們也不清楚，但有一點(diǎn)大家都同意的是——我們都勞累過度?！拔覀冃枰菹ⅲ惫锼拐f。“休息，還要換個(gè)環(huán)境，”喬治補(bǔ)充道。我完全同意喬治的建議，我們或許可以去鄉(xiāng)下，找一個(gè)美麗、幽靜的地方，遠(yuǎn)離塵囂，享受夏天明媚的陽光。哈里斯說這主意可不怎么樣。他說以前去過這樣的地方，可受不了，大家八點(diǎn)鐘就得去睡覺，要買香煙和報(bào)紙得走一個(gè)小時(shí)?！拔也煌?，”哈里斯說?！耙菹ⅰ⒏淖儹h(huán)境的話，海上旅行是最好不過了?！蔽艺f海上旅行的主意簡(jiǎn)直太可怕了，要是去一兩個(gè)月還可以，如果只有一個(gè)星期可沒意思。我知道那會(huì)是怎么樣……星期一出發(fā)的時(shí)候，你滿心想著到海上享受一番，高高興興地和岸上的朋友揮手告別，在船上來來去去地走，就象自己成了庫克船長(zhǎng)弗蘭西斯?杜雷克爵士或哥倫布。星期二，你就有點(diǎn)后悔了，希望沒來這一趟。星期三、四、五，你覺得生不如死。星期六稍稍能喝點(diǎn)東西；好心的旅客問起你的情況，你也能沖他們笑一下了。星期天，你開始走動(dòng)走動(dòng)，吃點(diǎn)東西。又到星期一的早晨，你站在船舷上準(zhǔn)備上岸了，這才感到海上旅行有意思。我記得有次一個(gè)朋友休養(yǎng)身體去短期旅行。他買了從倫敦到利物浦的雙程船票，可一到利物浦，他立刻賣掉船票，后來自己坐火車回來了。所以，我堅(jiān)決反對(duì)去海上旅行——當(dāng)然這并不是為我自己，我是從來不暈船的。我是擔(dān)心喬治。可喬治卻說他沒事，他倒是很喜歡這個(gè)主意，但是他怕哈里斯和我會(huì)病倒?？晒锼拐f他從來不暈船，坦白說，他倒總想生病，可就是總不成功。真是怪事，在陸地上，你甭想碰到哪個(gè)人說自己暈船。喬治說：“好吧，咱們還是到河上玩玩吧?！彼终f：“河上也有新鮮空氣，忙忙碌碌的，一會(huì)兒就餓了，這樣既增進(jìn)了食欲又能睡得香甜?！惫锼勾鸬溃骸昂撸∧憔蜎]有睡不著的時(shí)候。直說了吧，你總昏昏欲睡的。”不過，哈里斯還是同意這個(gè)主意不錯(cuò)，我也認(rèn)為是個(gè)好點(diǎn)子。唯一不喜歡這個(gè)想法的是“元帥”?！澳銈兿氲玫雇γ?，”它擺出一副面孔「你們喜歡，我可不喜歡！河上我沒什么事好干。我又不抽煙，又不喜歡看什么樹啊，花啊的。況且，我睡覺的時(shí)候你們還一個(gè)勁地在船上玩，我會(huì)摔到河里去的！”“元帥”腦子里最妙的事不過是把所有的癩皮狗聚齊，在城里瞎轉(zhuǎn)，找另外一群癩皮狗開戰(zhàn)。最后，三比一，我們還是決定出發(fā)了。WestarttomakeplansWepulledoutthemapsandwediscussedplans.WedecidedtostartonthefollowingSaturday.Har-risandIwouldgodowntoKingstoninthemorningandtaketheboatuptoChertsey,butGeorgecouldnotleavetheCityuntiltheafternoon.(Georgegoestosleepatabankfromteno'clockuntilfouro'clockfromMondaytoFriday.OnSatur-daytheywakehimupandputhimoutontothestreetattwoo'clock.)SoGeorgewasgoingtomeetusatChertsey.Thenextquestionwaswheretosleepatnight.GeorgeandIdidnotwanttosleepinhotelsatnight.Wewantedtosleepoutside.'Howbeautiful,'wesaid,'inthecountry,bytheriver,withthebirds,theflowersandthetreesallaroundus!'Icanimagineiteasily…Attheendoftheday,nightcomesandtheworldispeacefulandcalm.Ourlittleboatmovessilentlyintosomequietlittlecornerontheriver.Thereweputupourtent,andwecookandeatoursimplesupper.Thenwefillourpipesandwesitandtalkquietly.Sometimeswestopforamomentortwoandwelistentothewaterasitplaysgentlyagainsttheboat.Thesilvermoonshinesdownonusandourheadsarefullofbeautifulthoughts.Wesitinsilenceforatime.Wedonotwanttospeak.Thenwelaughquietly,putawayourpipes,say'Goodnight'andgotobed.Thepeacefulsoundofthewateragainsttheboatsendsustosleep-andwedream.Wedreamthattheworldisyoungagain…'Andwhataboutwhenitrains?'Harrissaid.Hewasright.Whenitrains,youdonotenjoylivingintents.Ithoughtaboutitagain…Itisevening.Youareverywet.Thereisalotofwaterintheboatandeverythinginitiswet,too.Youfindaplaceontheriverbankwhichisnotaswetasotherplaces.Yougetoutoftheboat,pulloutthetent,andtwoofyoutrytoputitup.Becauseitiswet,itisveryheavy.Andthenitfallsontopofyou.Youcannotgetitoffyourhead,andyougetangry.Allthetimeitisrainingheavily.Itisdifficulttoputupatentingoodweather.Inwetweatheritisalmostimpossible.Theothermandoesnothelpyou.Hestartstoplayabout.Yougetyoursideofthetentupandbegintotietheropestotheground.Justthenhepullsthetentfromhisside,andhedestroysallyourhardwork.'Here!Whatdoyouthinkyou'redoing?'youcallout.'Whatareyoudoing,youmean,'heanswersangrily.'Don'tpullit!You'vegotitallwrong,youstupidman!'youcry.'No,Ihaven't!'heshouts.'Letyoursidego!''Itellyou,you'rewrong!'youscream,andyouwishyoucouldgettohimtohithim.Youpullyoursideofthetenthard-andpulloutalltheropesonhisside.'Ah!Thestupidfool!'youhearhimsaytohimself.Andthen,suddenly,hegivesaviolentpull-andyoursidecomesout,too.Slowly,youstarttogoroundtohissidetotellhimwhatyouthinkofhim.Atthesametime,hebeginstocomeroundtheotherway,totellyouwhathefeels.Andyoufolloweachotherroundandround,andyoushoutateachother-untilthetentfallsdown.Andthereyouare!Youstandandlookateachotheracrossthetent.Atthesametime,youbothcallout,'Thereyouare!WhatdidItellyou?'Meanwhile,thethirdmanhasbeentryingtogetthewateroutoftheboat.Thewaterhasrunuphisarms,andheiswetandangry.Suddenly,hewantstoknowwhatyouaredoing,andwhythetentisnotupyet.When,atlast,thetentisup,youcarrythethingsoutoftheboat.Supperismostlyrainwater-rainwaterbread,rainwatersoup.Happily,youhavesomethingstrongtodrink.Thisbringsbackyourinterestinlifeuntilitistimetogotobed.Thereyoudreamthataverylargeanimalhassuddenlysatdownonyou.Youwakeupandyouunderstandthatsomethingterriblehashappened.Atfirst,youthinkthattheworldhasended.Thenyouthinkthatthiscannotbetrue.Soitmustbethieves,ormurderers,orfire.Nohelpcomes,andallyouknowisthatthousandsofpeoplearekickingyou,andyoucannotbreathe.Somebodyelseisintrouble,too.Youcanhearhiscries.Theyarecomingfromunderyourbed.Youdecidetofight,andyouhitout,leftandright,withyourarmsandyourlegs.Youareshoutingallthetime.Atlastyoufindyourheadinthefreshair.Nearyou,youseeahalf-dressedmurderer.Heiswaitingtokillyou.YouarejustgoingtostartfightinghimwhenyouseethatisJim.Atthesamemoment,heseesthatitisyou.'Oh,it'syou,isit?'hesays.'Yes,'youanswer.'What'shappened?''Thetenthasblowndown,Ithink,'hesays.'Where'sBill?'ThenyoubothshoutforBill.Thegroundunderneathyoumoves,andavoicesays,'Getoffmyhead!'Thenextdayyouhavenovoicesbecauseyouhaveallcaughtcolds,andalldayyouarguewitheachotherinangrywhispers…Wethereforedecidedthatwewouldsleepoutintentsonfinenights,andinhotelswhenitrained.Montmorencywasverypleasedaboutthis.Hedoesnotlikepeaceandquiet.Heprefersnoise.Buthelookssogood,sowell-behaved.Whenoldladiesandgentlemenlookathim,tearscomeintotheireyes.Whenhefirstcametolivewithme,Ithought,'Thisdogwillnotbewithmelong.Heistoogoodforthisworld.'But,bytheendoftheyear,hehadkilledtwelvechickens,whichIhadtopayfor…Ihadpulledhimoutofahundredandfour-teenstreetfights…Awomanhadbroughtmeadeadcatandhadcalledmeamurderer.ThenIchangedmyideasaboutMontmorency.Wehaddecidedwheretosleep,sonowwehadtodiscusswhattotakewithus.Webegantoargueaboutthis,sowea-greedthatwehaddoneenoughforonenight.2我們開始訂計(jì)劃拉開地圖，我們開始討論出行計(jì)劃。我們準(zhǔn)備下星期六出發(fā)。早上哈里斯和我先到金斯頓，從那兒把船劃到徹特西和喬治碰頭。但喬治下午才能離開倫敦城。（因?yàn)閱讨沃芤坏街芪逡阢y行從上午十點(diǎn)“睡”到下午四點(diǎn)，只有在周六下午兩點(diǎn)他們才把他叫醒，攆到街上來。）所以，我們決定到徹特西和喬治碰頭。下一個(gè)問題是晚上在哪兒歇腳。喬治和我一致主張露營(yíng)而不想睡在旅館里。我們說露營(yíng)多么逍遙自在「在河邊的野地里，小鳥，鮮花，樹木團(tuán)團(tuán)陪伴在周圍?！蔽液?jiǎn)直能想象得出那幅情景……白天漸漸隱去，夜晚悄悄來臨，周圍一片安寧、靜謐，我們的小船輕輕滑進(jìn)幽靜的河灣。我們?cè)谀抢镏饚づ?，做點(diǎn)簡(jiǎn)單的晚餐，吃完飯，我們裝滿煙斗，坐在那兒娓娓清談。聊一會(huì)兒天，我們便歇一會(huì)兒，聽著河水輕輕拍著小船。銀色的月光灑在身上，我們不禁浮想聯(lián)翩。一時(shí)大家端坐在寂靜里，心頭一番滋味無以言表。我們靜靜相視一笑，放下煙斗，互道一聲晚安，起身去睡覺。河水潺潺，輕拍船舷，送我們?nèi)雺?mèng)。在夢(mèng)里，世界重新變得年輕……“可是，要是下起雨來怎么辦呢？”哈里斯問。他說的沒錯(cuò)，下雨天露營(yíng)實(shí)在是令人難以消受。我又聯(lián)想起來……你看，天色已晚，你全身已經(jīng)濕透，船里到處是水，所有東西都打濕了。你在岸上找了一塊稍微干一點(diǎn)的地方，兩個(gè)人出了船，把帳篷拖上岸，忙著把它支起來。帳篷浸透了水，異常沉重，突然又倒在你身上，壓著你，頭也伸不出來。你呢，簡(jiǎn)直快氣瘋了，而雨還是瓢潑似地下。本來，天好的時(shí)候支帳篷就不容易，而到了雨天，根本沒戲。另一個(gè)人也不幫你，反而自己找樂子。你這邊的帳篷剛支起來，把繩子綁在地上的樁子上，他那邊使勁一拉，一下子把你辛辛苦苦干的活全廢了。“喂！你干什么？"你沖他大聲喊叫。“你說，你自己在干什么？”他氣呼呼地答道。“別再扯了，全讓你扯亂了，你這頭蠢驢！”你又喊道?！暗昧?，我才沒扯呢！"他也喊著：你那邊不能松一松嗎？”“我跟你說，你那樣不對(duì)！”你尖聲吼起來，恨不能夠走過去揍他一頓。你使勁拉你這邊的帳篷，一下子把他那邊的繩子、樁子都拔了出來?！翱?！你這個(gè)傻蛋！"你聽著他咕噥著，接著，也猛地一拉，你這邊繩子、樁子也出來了。你緩緩地朝他那邊走去，要和他理論；與此同時(shí)，他也繞過來要和你評(píng)是非。于是，兩個(gè)人隔著帳篷，你追我趕繞著圈，互相罵個(gè)不停。最后整個(gè)帳篷都倒了，你們兩個(gè)站在那兒，隔著這堆帳篷，互相瞪著眼，又異口同聲地叫道：“你看你！我是怎么對(duì)你說的？”這時(shí)候，還有第三個(gè)人，一直從小船里往外舀水。水已經(jīng)到胳膊了，他也是濕漉漉的，一肚子氣，他不明白你們?cè)诟闶裁疵?，怎么帳篷還沒支起來。最后，帳篷算是支起來了，你把東西從船里搬出來。晚餐主要是雨水——雨水面包，雨水湯。幸虧你還有點(diǎn)夠味的東西喝，使你恢復(fù)對(duì)人生的興趣，然后酣然入夢(mèng)。在夢(mèng)里，你覺得有一只龐大的動(dòng)物突然坐在你身上，你一下子醒了，意識(shí)到有什么可怕的事發(fā)生了。起初你還以為世界末日到了，后來想想又覺得不大可能，那么一定是盜劫、謀殺或者火災(zāi)。誰也不來救助，你只覺得成千上萬的人在踢你，簡(jiǎn)直透不過氣來。還有人也遇到了麻煩，你聽見從床底下傳來的叫喊聲。你決心反抗，手腳并用，左踢右掄，嘴里亂叫亂嚷，終于發(fā)現(xiàn)自己腦袋露出來了。離你不遠(yuǎn)，你看見那個(gè)壞蛋了，半裸著身子，正等著要?dú)⒛?。你正要和他拼命，才發(fā)現(xiàn)壞蛋不是別人正是吉姆。這時(shí)候，他也認(rèn)清了是你?！芭叮瓉硎悄?！沒錯(cuò)吧？"他說。“正是我！"你答道，“出什么事了？”“我想帳篷給刮倒了吧，”他說，“比爾哪里去了？”兩個(gè)人扯起嗓子喊比爾。你腳下有什么東西在動(dòng)，一個(gè)聲音傳出來：“別踩我的腦袋！”第二天，你們都說不出話來，因?yàn)槎几忻傲恕４蠹艺於細(xì)夂艉舻?，低聲粗氣，還不停地互相爭(zhēng)辯著。所以我們決定天氣好就在外面露營(yíng)，下雨就住旅館。“元帥”對(duì)此非常高興。它生來不喜歡安靜、寂寞的生活，而喜歡吵吵鬧鬧的場(chǎng)面。但它看著討人喜歡、舉止也得體，那些老太太、老先生們看著它那副模樣，準(zhǔn)會(huì)感動(dòng)得掉下淚來。當(dāng)它第一次來和我住的時(shí)候，我想：“這只小狗不會(huì)在我這兒久留的，對(duì)于這個(gè)世界來講，它實(shí)在是太好了?！笨墒堑搅四甑祝呀?jīng)殺死了人家十二只小雞，我不得不替它賠償損失……它在街上打了一百一十四次架，每次我都得把它拉出來……一位婦女抱著一只給它咬死的貓來找我，叫我是兇手。于是我對(duì)“元帥”改變了看法。我們已經(jīng)決定了在哪里住宿，現(xiàn)在的問題是要討論該帶些什么東西，于是大家又爭(zhēng)執(zhí)起來。最后我們都說這一個(gè)晚上發(fā)的議論可真不少哇！WedecidewhattotakeThefollowingevening，wediscussedwhatwewantedtotakewithus.Harrissaid,'Nowgetmeapieceofpa-per,J.,andwriteeverythingdown.George,yougetapencil,andI'llmakethelist.,That'sHarris-hetellseverybodywhattodo,andtheydoallthework.IrememberthatmyUnclePodgerwaslikeHarris.一EverybodyinthehousehadtohelpwhenUnclePodgerdidajob.Whentheyboughtapictureonce,AuntPodgerasked,'Now,whereshallweputthis?''Oh,I'lldoit.Don'tworryaboutit.I'lldoitallmyself,'hesaid.Andthenhetookoffhiscoattobegin.Hesentoneofthegirlsouttobuysomenails,andthenhesentoneoftheboystotellherhowbigthenailsoughttobe.'Now,Bill,yougoandgetmyhammer,'heshouted.'Andbringmearuler,Tom.AndJim,Ineedaladder-andakitchenchair,too.Maria,youstayheretoholdthelight-andTom,comehere!Youcangivemethepicture.'Thenheliftedthepictureup…andhedroppedit.Hetriedtocatchtheglass…andhecuthimslef.Helookedforsomethingtoputroundhisfinger,andhecouldnotfindanything.Sohedancedroundthehouse,andheshoutedateverybody.Halfanhourlater,thefingerhadbeentiedup,theyhadboughtnewglass,andeverythngwasready.UnclePodgertriedagain.Everybodystoodroundhim.Theywereallreadytohelp.Twopeopleheldthechair,athirdhelpedhimtogetonit,afourthgavehimanail,andafifthpassedhimthehammer.Hetookthenail…andhedroppedit!'There,'hesaidsadly.'Nowthenail'sgone.'Soeverybodygotdownonthegroundtolookforit.Atlastwefoundthenail,butthenhelostthehammer.'Where'sthehammer?WhatdidIdowiththehammer?Therearesevenofyouthere,andyoudon'tknowwherethehammeris!'Wefoundthehammerforhim,butthenhelosttheplaceonthewallwherehewasgoingtoputthepicture.Soeachoneofushadtogetuponthechairandlookfortheplace.Andeachoneofusthoughtthatitwasadifferentplace.ThenUnclePodgertriedagainhimself.Thistimehefelloffthechairontothepiano.Hisheadandhisbodyhitthepianoatthesametime.Themusicwasbeautiful,butUnclePodger'swordswerenot!AuntMariawasnotpleased.Shesaidthatshedidnotwantthechildrentolistentothoseterriblewords.Sheaddedcalmly,'Thenexttimethatyouaregoingtoputapictureonthewall,pleasetellme.ThenIcanarrangetogoandspendaweekwithmymother.'UnclePodgergotupandtriedagain,andatmidnightthepicturewasonthewall.Itwasnotverystraight,andeveryonewasverytiredandunhappy.UnclePodgerlookedatthepictureproudlyandsaid,'Yousee,itwasonlyalittlejob!'…Harrisislikethat.SoItoldhimthatGeorgewouldwritedownthelist,andIwoulddothework.Hecouldgetthepencilandthepaper.Thefirstlistwastoolong.Sowestartedagain.'Now,'Georgesaid,'wedon'twanttotakeatent.Wecanputacoverovertheboatatnight.Itwillbelikealittlehouse,lovelyandwarmandcomfortable.It'smucheasierthanatent.'Thenwemadealistofalltheclothesweneeded.Georgetoldusthatheknewallaboutthiskindofthing-andwebe-lievedhim.Wediscoveredlaterthatthiswasnottrue.Nextwetalkedaboutthefood.'First,breakfast,'Georgebegan.'Weneedeggs,coldmeat,tea,breadandbutter,ofcourse.Andfordinnerwecantakecoldchickenlegs,tomatoes,coldmeat,fruit,cakes,choc01ate…Wecandrinkwater.'thenheadded,'Andwecantakeabottleofwhisky,too-forwhenwearesick,youknow.'Wedidnotwishtotalkaboutbeingsick.Butlater,weweregladwehadtakenthewhisky.Sowemadeourlist,anditwasalongone.3準(zhǔn)備行裝第二天晚上，我們又開始討論需要帶些什么東西。哈里斯說：“來，給我一張紙，杰，你來把需要的東西都記下來。喬治，你去拿筆，我就可以列清單了?！边@是哈里斯一貫的作風(fēng)：他總是告訴大家要干什么活，讓大家忙得不亦樂乎。我不由記起來浦杰叔叔也和哈里斯一樣……浦杰叔叔要是干點(diǎn)什么活，一家人都得幫忙。有一次他們買了一幅畫，浦杰嬸嬸問：“把畫掛在什么地方？”“哦，我來吧，你們誰也甭操心，全交給我一個(gè)人得了。”他說著，脫掉外套，就要干活。他先叫了一個(gè)女孩子去買釘子，馬上又支使一個(gè)男孩子趕去告訴她釘子要多大的?！叭?，比爾，給我拿把錘子，”他喊著，“湯姆，去把尺子拿來。還有吉姆，我還需要個(gè)梯子——再要一把廚房里的椅子?，旣悂啠瑒e走開，給我拿著燈照亮——還有，湯姆，快過來，你把畫遞給我。”說著，他把畫舉起來，沒想到一下又給掉了，他趕緊去抓玻璃，卻又把手割破了。他想找點(diǎn)東西把手指包上，可什么也找不著。就這樣，他滿屋子亂蹦亂跳，沖著每一個(gè)人嚷嚷。他花了半個(gè)小時(shí)才把手指包