跨文化交際課件 L 8 Daily V C(II) Gratitude,Apology,Gift Invitation

1、Lecture EightDaily Verbal Communication (II)Social InteractionLearning ObjectivesGratitudeApologyInvitationGiftBefore learning“By nature people are nearly alike; By practice they get to be wide apart.” ConfuciusBefore learning From the quotation, we can see that humans are social animals; no one can

2、 live without social contact. There are some differences in individuals and groups. These diverse habits and customs may cause problems in peoples communication, especially people with distinct cultural backgrounds. Therefore, to improve our intercultural communication competence, an important signi

3、ficant difference regarding daily communication should be paid enough attention.Part OneGratitudeI. Gratitude and ThanksExpressing thanks is universally held as being civilized. When people have helped you, you always give thanks to them, indicating your appreciation of the favor. This is true of bo

4、th the Chinese and western cultures.Yet differences are easily found between them in how people express and respond to gratitude and thanks. I. Gratitude and Thanks“Thank you ”and “Thanks” are used far more frequently in English than in Chinese, such polite expressions are often neglected by Chinese

5、 especially among close friends and families.1.Chinese regard the frequent use of thanks by westerners as unnecessary and even tiresome.2. Westerners take Chinese attitude of neglecting appreciation and no need expressing gratitude among families as rudeness or lack of sincerity.II. Chinese Gratitud

6、e1. Chinese always show gratitude for the help from their unfamiliar people ,the elderly or the senior. However, they seldom express thanks to the close friends or their families. Their appreciations are always replaced by 累了吧，辛苦了or 歇歇吧 to show their gratitude and concern. 2. Chinese speakers tend t

7、o repeat the terms of thanks many times. For them, it is to show their courtesy and heartfelt thanks, especially to those whom they are not familiar with and for what they think are important favors. Such practice which is not done in the west maygive westerners the sense of empty thanks and insince

8、rity.III. Western Gratitude1. Saying “Thank you.” is very common in the west, even between parents and children, husband and wife for minor and ordinary things. 2. More statements of thanks from Chinese will not only embarrass westerners but also give them a sense of emptiness and insincerity. 3. We

9、sterners thank all day long.IV. Different responses to gratitudeChinese and westerners have different expressions to show their responses to gratitude. 1. Some expressions like, “Never mind.” “It doesnt matter.” can be responses to gratitude as well as apologies in Chinese culture, while theyre the

10、only responses to English apology. 2. Chinese respond to gratitude with the expressions like, “This is what I should do.” or “Its my duty to do so.” Such responses are associated with a sense of duty or a moral obligation to the Chinese. They indicate their modesty or courtesy. But, they are not the

11、 responses in English. Westerners may feel upset or offended, for they may interpret such responses as that Chinese are obliged to do so rather than do it willingly. Part TwoApologyI. Definition of ApologyApology is a speech act addressed to the offended because of the persons face-needs and is inte

12、nded to remedy an offense for which the offender takes responsibility, and thus to restore equilibrium between the two. equilibrium: a calm state of mind or emotion II. Various Expression of ApologyThere are many kinds of expressions of apology. 1. an explicit expression of apology, e.g. “Im sorry.

13、”or “I apologize.” 2. an explanation, an excuse, justification, e.g. “The bus is delayed.” 3. an acknowledgement of responsibility, e.g. “Its my fault.” 4. an offer of repair, e.g. “I will buy you a new one.” 5. a promise of forbearance, e.g. “I promise it wont happen again.” (Olshtain and A. Cohen,

14、 1983)III. Chinese ApologiesChinese apology: 1. Chinese are less frequent and more flexible in making apologies. Because, In China, the social distance and social power may affect the frequency and choice of strategies in apology-making. For the Chinese, apology always occurs between people of unequ

15、al social status and it is usually the person with less power who apologizes to the person with more power. e.g. the inferior apologize to the superior 2. Chinese apology can express indirect gratitude. e.g. “給您添麻煩了?！? “讓您破費(fèi)了”，“占用您寶貴時(shí)間了”From the example we can English gratitude is directly expressed

16、, while indirectly in Chinese for the purpose of considerations for others. IV. English ApologiesEnglish apology:For the native English speakers, an apology is necessary whenever inconvenience or offence is made with little consideration of the social status or social power of the people concerned.

17、e.g. an employer may apologize to the employee.V. Different Apologies1. People in different cultures have different ways of expressing apologies. 2. Apology in Chinese and in English are both situation specific and speakers employ different strategies in different situations. In both languages, the

18、obligation and intensification of apology rise with the severity of the offence. 3. There are different rules governing the apology behavior of Chinese and English speakers, for Chinese may not seem polite enough to English speakers and the native English speakers may seem too insincere to the Chine

19、se.VI. Different responses to apologiesIn responding to an apology in both English and Chinese, one can reject the need for apologizing. In English society, hearer can reject the apology under most circumstances. In Chinese society, it is perfectly polite and considerate for the hearer to accept the

20、 apology by saying “我接受了你的道歉?！?（Zhou Rong& Hu Yonghong, 2002）InvitingPart ThreeI. Warm-up Cases1. Please read the dialogue; try to understand its function.A: It was nice talking to you. I have to run to class.B: OK, maybe we can meet sometime soon.A: Yeah, Id love to. Why dont you drop by my house?B

21、: Great. See you soon. Understanding the dialogues It is a very common dialogue among people. It functions as a signal for ending an interaction or for an indication of friendliness. It will not lead to definite future meeting. In the culture, however, a genuine invitation is always made with clear

22、indication of activity, time and place or the meeting. There is usually a negotiation about the time and place and a definite reply is expected. II. Judge the invitationStudy the following statement and try to respond, then discuss the invitation.1. Lets get together soon.II. Judge the invitationStu

23、dy the following statement and try to respond, then discuss the invitation.2. I havent seen you for a long time. You must come round for dinner sometime.II. Judge the invitationStudy the following statement and try to respond, then discuss the invitation.3. Its good seeing you. Ill invite you to tea

24、 later.II. Judge the invitationStudy the following statement and try to respond, then discuss the invitation.4. Im going to give a party this weekend. Come if you like.II. Judge the invitationStudy the following statement and try to respond, then discuss the invitation.5. How about joining us for di

25、nner this Friday night?II. Judge the invitation 6. If an American friend of yours suggests you have lunch with him, you might simply say something like this, “Im afraid itll have to be some place inexpensive, as I have very little money.” Your friend may say, “OK, I will meet you at McDonalds.” Who

26、do you think would pay for the meal? Keys to Question 2 1, 2,and 3, are unreal invitations, because the speaker doesnt give the specific time and place for the get-together. The hearers had better reply like “Thank you.” “Id love to very much.” and not question about “when” or “where”, for the speak

27、er doesnt really mean to do any invitation. Statements4, and 5 are invitation as they give specific time. But they may sound uncertain to a Chinese ear because of the tone of the verbal invitation. Easterners (Chinese) would most likely say something like: “Do come. Please do come.” 6. They will “Go

28、 Dutch”. Westerners value individual freedom a lot, and hate to impost on others, they dont like such customs. While, We Chinese are used to collectivism and tend to show our concern for others, and we sound a little too eager because we know our culture requires people not to accept the invitation

29、immediately.III. SummaryHow to judge the genuine invitation?In culture, however, a genuine invitation is always made with clear indication of activity, time and place or the meeting. There is usually a negotiation about the time and place, and a definite reply is expected. Pay more attention to the

30、features of “false” invitation. 1. Indefinite reference of time, place. 2. No inquiry or immediate reply or decision. 3. Adverbs indicate the uncertainty of time like, one day, someday”, “soon” etc.GiftPart FourI. The rules of giving gift in the west In English culture, people seldom give costly gif

31、ts, for they are unwilling to shoulder any burden or responsibilities for accepting the expensive gifts. Here are the rules of giving gift in the west. (1) Try to cater ones liking. (2) Each child should be given a gift. (3) Dont offer gift for boss. (4) Do avoid giving gifts between two countries.

32、(5) Please present your gift with sincerity. (6) Do avoid the gift with No.13.I. Giving gift in the west(1)Wedding gift - kitchen item, jewelry, perfume, art works, etc. (2)Baby and Birthday gift- baby daily things, clothes, books, CDs(3) Festival gift: Thanksgiving gift- food, flowers, and cards Ch

33、ristmas gift- pocket money for baby, MP5, CDs, Boxing day gift-money to the poor Easter gift- Easter baskets, balloons, candy and bunnies. Valentine gift- chocolates, roses, romantic gift boxes, diamonds and jewelry(4) Dinner Party gift- candy, chocolate, a bottle of wine(5) Housewarming gift- potte

34、d plant, a vase, a picture, a bottle of wine(6) Business gift- a sample of their productII. The rules of taking gift in the westWhen westerners take the gifts, they often open the wrapped gift in front of the giver and politely express appreciation and surprise. Here are the rules of taking gifts in

35、 the west.1. We should try to avoid being too polite. 2. Show immediate positive appreciation for the gift. 3. To be frank for the intended gift. 4. Try to make good use of the gift. 5. Return sometime.III. Gift-giving in China Chinese view gifts as symbols of friendship, trust and mutual obligation

36、, it is best to select item that best represents ones own culture. It is not necessary that the gifts should be expensive, but they should be thoughtfully chosen. A person, esp. a young one giving gifts to his superior either in generation or position, needs to present the gift with both hands as a

37、sign of courtesy. III. Gift-giving in China The following gifts are suggested: paintings, decorated item, CD player, books, pans, lighters, stamps, flowers, fruits and foods etc. And gifts with lucky (eight or six) numbers are more appreciated. Gifts to avoid are: foreign currency, cheese, green headwear, sharp objects, clock, umbrella or white flowers etc.III. Gift-giving in ChinaWedding gift- money in “l(fā)ucky number”Housewarming gift- bonsai, kitchen utensils, tea sets, etc. Fes